Disclaimer : I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.
Chapter 9: Time to Fly
by Enchanted Ice Star
It was the third time already. The third time I had woken with my mind at peace and my whole body snug and warm against the familiar body of someone I held so dearly to myself. I opened my eyes just slightly, wanting to relish in the early morning's calm, taking in her fresh smell of wind and the outdoors into my lungs as I let my eyes open just a bit more so I could see the sunlight creeping in from the thin curtains only to dance on her golden locks of hair.
Now I was fully awake, blue eyes wide as I absentmindedly brushed a strand of her long bangs away from her calm and utterly relaxed features. So absolutely adorable...I let my hand linger above her forehead until she mumbled something sleepily and nearly suffocated me as she instinctively pulled me closer to her. I stifled a gasp and could only blush until she finally relaxed and rolled over to face the ceiling.
Beautiful. I sat up slowly, the mattress squeaking gently below my slow movements. I looked down at the long, baggy white T-shirt I was currently wearing as a pajama top. Of course, it was much too big for me, but I had lived in Haruka's clothing for the past three days and I was simply content to be able to breathe in her scent wherever I went. Yet I knew I couldn't remain this way; in clothing much too big for me and not my own. I smiled wistfully as Haruka's bangs fell upon her shut eyes again with every leveled breath she took. I made a mental note to myself that I would paint something like this. My perfect picture of a perfect morning.
"Mi-chi-ru."
I blinked hesitantly and leaned over Haruka's face, her expression slightly childish as her mouth was half open and her brow slightly furrowed. I wondered if she was dreaming. It didn't seem like a very relaxed dream, for now she was biting on her lip as if she was quite agitated about something. I frowned down at her worriedly and instinctively reached out to her, only to find myself losing balance and being dragged down completely on top of the taller woman.
This time I couldn't suppress a rather high-pitched squeak as I plummeted onto Haruka's chest face first in a very ungraceful fashion. I felt her shifting around and heard a soft, gentle chuckle near my left ear. "Honestly Michiru," Haruka's voice came slightly blearily, as she had just woken up, "next time you sit up, please don't take all the blankets with you."
I blushed a bright rose and realized what had been causing Haruka such frustration and pain. The lack, thereof, of nice, fluffy blankets- for I, the horrible blanket stealer, had all the blankets bundled around my small form. I attempted to sit back up again but Haruka's arms were around me and holding me firmly in place. I grumbled slightly. "Haruka," my voice rose. "If you don't let me go..."
"But you took the blankets," Haruka shot back stubbornly and buried her face into my mass of aqua tresses. "And I'm cold and you're warm. So you're going to be my new blanket."
I could not help but giggle at the childish words coming from the usually curt, mature and serious woman. She was definitely different in bed. I craned my neck upwards to try and catch a glimpse of her face, but she was so well hidden by my own hair that I had to give up before I strained some sort of a muscle. Sighing contently, I stared at the ceiling above us until a few birds outside chirped as if in complaint. "You're going to have to go and make your own breakfast if you don't let me get up soon," I warned teasingly.
"I'm still in shock that you know how to cook," came Haruka's muffled reply.
I raised an eyebrow. "And you're one to talk."
"Well, seeing you are the only daughter of some grossly rich family, I'd think you'd have cooks and maids and you'd be the type of prim and proper lady that has never set foot into a kitchen before."
"Well I've proved you wrong haven't I?" I answered swiftly and attempted to roll off of Haruka. I was slightly worried, though not too worried, that I was squishing her. "Now, let me go," I ordered steadily.
Haruka simply tightened her grip around me as she finally lifted her head from my hair. "No," was her short and stubborn reply.
"Haruka," my voice held a hint of warning to it.
No reply.
I felt the silence around us and the gentle up and down movements of Haruka's steady breathing. Was she asleep? My eyes widened in horror at the thought. I was in the most awkward position and the woman had the nerve to fall asleep on me! Well, in this case, I was on top of her, but that wasn't quite the main idea of my sudden bizarre situation. I felt my body going down with her as she exhaled and I felt myself rising ever so slightly as she inhaled. I would have normally loved to be in the position I was in, except I was currently in a state of disbelief in how fast she could wake up and drop dead asleep again.
Really!
I tugged again but to no avail. Her arms were tightly latched around my small waist which of course, made me oddly suspicious if she was in fact dead asleep. I lifted my chin from its current position on her chest and peered at Haruka thoughtfully. Her eyes were closed and she was still breathing so gently...except I could have sworn that her lips just twitched ever so slightly. A sudden idea flittered through my head and I slowly wriggled one arm out of Haruka's iron grip. She mumbled something incoherently, but her lips twitched again.
I innocently placed a finger right up against her nostrils and waited in patience. Her lips twitched again, but this time not upwards, but downwards, and her brow was furrowing in agitation again. I smiled to myself and wondered how long she could last, but suddenly her mouth opened rather widely and she took in a long, huge breath before bolting upright into a sitting position, taking me along with her.
I burst into a fit of giggles as Haruka finally regained her normal pattern of breathing. She huffed as if in annoyance, but I knew she couldn't be annoyed at me for long. I hopped out of bed daintily, my bare feet landing on the soft cream coloured carpet before I skipped to the adjoining bathroom. "I'll be out in a second and then I'll make us something light to eat," I beamed back at Haruka, whose hair was now sticking in such strange angles that I thought she looked quite alluring.
As I started to brush my teeth with the spare toothbrush Haruka had provided, the bathroom door swung open and disheveled haired Haruka slid in smoothly. She ran a hand through her short locks and blew a strand out of her eyes before looking at me rather goofily.
I rinsed the minty tasting guck out of my mouth before making an attempt to acknowledge her presence. "What are you doing in here? I think a girl deserves a little privacy in the bathroom."
"I think that rule only applies when it's a male intruding on your privacy," she answered breezily and wrapped her arms around my waist. We looked like such a perfect couple as the reflection of us danced in front of my gaze. I looked into her eyes from the mirror and saw them looking back at me, a sudden indescribable wave of emotion tumbling through me again. From our reflection, I saw her head lean forward, turning as if to catch my lips...
I raised a hand and placed a finger in front of her lips, breaking the almost intimate moment. I smiled innocently back at her reflection, which looked slightly miffed.
"I'm not giving you a kiss until you brush up," I explained mischievously and handed her my toothbrush before skipping out of the bathroom, satisfied with the surprised expression on her facial features before the bathroom door swung shut behind me with a gentle click.
I expertly flipped another stack of pancakes as I hummed softly to myself, a gentle light-hearted tune that reminded me of being a child. But then again, I never did have quite the typical childhood after all. I decided that I was making up for lost time- at the age of sixteen. I smiled. Years ago, when I knew the cooks weren't looking and when my parents were away again, I would sometimes find myself in the kitchen, playing house- except in a more realistic manner in that I cooked with real, tangible food and not the silly plastic carrot and steaks that little girls use to play with. I was so proud of myself when I made my first ever plate of scrambled eggs.
With my one free hand, I opened the top cupboard above my head and saw a few clean plates sitting there. I took out two and placed them next to my arm and tossed the soft, fluffy pancakes neatly onto one, then separated the stack onto the two plates. I gave Haruka an extra three, just because I thought she would be a much heavier eater than myself.
"That smells delicious."
I smiled and spun around, plates in hand as I placed them swiftly on the table that had been cleared of dirty dishes- courtesy to myself. I waited for Haruka to take her seat, but she hestitated as she pulled back her chair and grinned goofily back at me. I stared at her in wonder before she closed the distance between us with her long strides and captured my lips with her own, a breathe of tangy mint filling my lungs. I gasped out of surprise, but it all happened quite quickly and Haruka was now sitting back down in her chair again.
"Haruka," I mumbled as if in annoyance, but my heart fluttered in absolute delight as I took my seat across from her.
She simply smiled back at me cheekily. "A promise is a promise Michiru."
I giggled and poked a fork into my food, taking a small bite before noticing that I had forgotten drinks. I made a move to get up again, but Haruka stopped me with a gentle voice. "Just sit down Michiru," she seemed amused. "You're always running around the house...it's not like you're obligated to do all this."
I sat back down slowly. "It just feels right," I confessed.
She smiled and paused in her eating, only to look at me with a thoughtful expression. I thought her eyes suddenly possessed a fleeting moment of sadness and it made me wonder. I hesitantly leaned forward in my seat, dropping my fork in the process. "Haruka?" I started tentatively. Her gaze was still on me, though it looked miles away and unaware of her surroundings. I frowned slightly and called out to her again only to receive an apologetic look from her and a small forced smile.
"I was just thinking."
"I could tell," I whispered.
"You never did tell me where you learnt how to cook so well," Haruka began, trying to sound cheerful though I could almost be sure that she had just been thinking about something that bothered her deeply. I tried to follow along with her sudden change in demeanor and plastered a gentle smile on my face as I let my mind wander to the past, without Haruka. I wondered how I had survived all those years without my newfound inspiration.
"Well, my parents were rarely home, and well, they rarely still are, but I think certain...incidents lately are keeping them home more..." I trailed off and frowned at my own nonsense words. I cleared my throat and backtracked. "So, when I was alone in the big, old, empty mansion, I had to find some form of amusement other than my violin and swimming and all those things that brought me pain and pleasure at the same time," I paused to think. "I guess I wanted to try cooking. I think it's a girl thing. Haven't you ever tried cooking? Even in a make-believe sort of way?"
"No," Haruka blinked back at me in confusion, and she looked so utterly appalled by the fact of wanting to voluntarily cook that she looked utterly adorable. I laughed into my hand, shaking my head as I did so.
"Of course, of course, you must have been very busy driving around your toy racecars and trying to outrun the wind..." I smiled wistfully at my imaginations and trailed off reluctantly, unsure of what to say. I was kind of sad that I had missed out on Haruka's childhood.
Haruka stiffened slightly before looking sternly at her plate of half eaten pancakes. Silence surrounded us for a brief moment until Haruka looked up again and her gaze held that indifferent look to them again, but I was slowly learning to see pass that thin mask and into her. She was hiding again, trying to mask some sort of emotion she didn't want to show. She wanted to seem strong. I reached out to her in my mind and longed for her to simply trust me, even with her fears.
"No...that's a recent hobby," Haruka confessed slowly. "I was...I was more into music."
My eyes widened in surprise. "Music?"
She nodded sheepishly and ran a hand through her unruly hair, as if suddenly nervous. "I always wanted to create and play music the way my mother did," her eyes were suddenly nostalgic. "She had the most beautiful fingers...I think, until this day, I thought them to be the most beautiful fingers of all...of course," she smiled softly, "I think she has some competition now."
I flushed at her implication but she carried on. "She played the piano," Haruka stated, a hint of pride in her voice as she recalled her mother's wonderful talent. "She would play for me everyday, telling me the difference between black and white keys, flats and sharps, everything that I found so magical in the tunes she created...the house was very...very deafening with silence when she was no longer there to play the old piano in the living room."
My brow furrowed in question, but Haruka seemed to sense my questions anyhow and answered them whether knowingly or unknowingly. "She had a brain tumor, and the operation wasn't successful."
I did not know what to say, so I simply sat there listening to her. I felt unbelievably sad for her, I wanted to hold her, but I wondered if Haruka would embrace my pity or turn me away due to her intolerable pride. I could only sit there and hope that my presences was enough to make her feel some sort of emotional support. Haruka shrugged, as if brushing away past pains. "My father wasn't a family type of guy...but he loved my mother dearly. He was...so broken when my mother left him with only me, the daughter who wasn't as perfect as our neighbour's nor as skilled nor talented or anything. He was so emotionally thrown off that he told me I had took mother away..." she paused, as if just realizing how wrong that accusation was. Her eyebrow knitted and there was a grim expression on her face. "He told me that...I spent too much goddamn time with her purposely so that he never saw mother anymore...that I had taken her away..." her voice cracked slightly and she looked away, the faintest smiles, though bitter, on her face. "It wasn't like he was home anyways...and a year later, he ran off with some Italian guy and moved to Cuba to sell lacy lingerie- for men."
The last part almost sounded comical, only if Haruka hadn't looked so serious when she had said it. I didn't know when I had scooted my chair around the corner of the table, but I had, and I was now gently bringing her to me, cradling her head in my chest as I took in her scent. "I left afterwards because there was no point in staying somewhere that had nothing left for me," her voice was laced with fierce anger as she took my hands in her own. "I thought life was a joke then, because mine was fucked up."
"No Haruka," I whispered into her ear just as fiercely. "It's...it's just life."
"I know," she mumbled sheepishly. "Back then I was confused, pathetic, lost--"
"And now you're found, beautiful, and my meaning in life," I cut her off gently and played with strands of her sun kissed hair. She chuckled gently, settling my heart as she did so.
"Sorry," she grumbled. "Your pancakes and just...all you've done for me...it kind of...reminds me of my mother, I guess."
I smiled to myself. "Then I'm glad."
She sat up in her chair and turned to catch my gaze. I swore I saw such tender emotions in them. Some clock in the distance beeped to alert us that it was now nine in the morning, but we ignored it as we searched each other's battered souls and lonely hearts, only to find them slowly mending and healing with each other's help. Our foreheads were touching, our noses grazing one another, but we paused and simply smiled back at each other, content with the warmth the other had to give.
She broke the gaze only to look at her own large white T-shirt that was currently being worn by myself. "You know, I think it's time that...you do something about your wardrobe."
The intense atmosphere that had sprung up minutes ago simply vanished and we were just Haruka and Michiru again, sixteen year old teenagers trying to figure out life and relish in the brief happiness we were experiencing. The past wasn't going to affect us. We were going to look forward, together, hand in hand. I pouted slightly. "Don't you like me wearing your clothes?"
"Well, sure, I mean they look a lot better on you then they do on me."
I poked her playfully in the stomach. "Stop teasing, Haruka..." I looked away and slowly scooted my chair away from her to stand up and clear our plates, the desire to eat long gone and out the window. "I really should do something about...about everything," I sighed heavily as I turned on the tap, taking a soap soaked sponge in one hand. Haruka sensed my uneasiness and came up from behind, squeezing my shoulders gently.
"Don't worry, I'll be there with you."
I knew that we were on the same thinking pattern. I had to go home. I had to face my parents one day...and I would much rather do so with Haruka by my side. I let my weight lean backwards and into her. She was always my pillar of support...I could depend on her. "It's just that...it's so difficult," I said softly, plates clattering in the soapy sink. "I wished we could just...leave everything behind, you know?" I wanted to laugh at my own whimsical thoughts, so childish and utterly surreal. Of course we could not just leave everything behind. We had responsibilities to attend to. We had lives to live...
"Then let's do that."
I jumped in surprise at Haruka's blunt statement. I turned the sink off and turned to look at her. She looked utterly serious, not the least bit teasing. "I don't understand," I stared at her in confusion.
She simply grinned, that dashing grin of hers. "I have a very good friend who lives in the countryside...I know you'd like it there. She has a really big mansion that she completely despises because she lives alone and doesn't need all the space..."
"Are you saying we go and live there?" I asked in surprise. The suggestion was so preposterous yet thrilling to my senses all at the same time. A chance to be free from all the silly obligations I had back here. No pressure to be perfect, no pressure to become some successful business woman like my mother. I knew my voice betrayed the excitement I felt and I could already see Haruka smiling at my childish delight.
"Yeah," she answered lightly. "She's a very nice person. Besides, we're good friends...she wouldn't mind."
I bit my lip doubtfully. "I don't know her at all."
And then another thought fluttered through my mind. Her. This good friend of Haruka's was a her. I wondered ruefully if this someone had a past with Haruka. I shook my head and flushed at my own rude thoughts. Why should it matter to me if she did have a past with Haruka or not? It was none of my business. I glanced at Haruka hesitantly, hoping she didn't catch my moment of insecurity.
"I know you two will get along fine," Haruka reassured. "I can see it already."
I smiled softly. "If you say so, then I'll trust you..." I effectively paused in mid-thought and sighed, letting that moment of happiness slip through my hands again. "But I still...I still have to face my parents, Haruka. I know I can't just leave them behind, no matter how much they haven't been part of my life...parents are still, after all, parents. I owe them some sort of an explanation before I disappear out of their lives."
She gave me another squeeze on the shoulders. "Like I said, I'll be there."
"I know you will be," I whispered back softly.
"I'll always be there."
"Always?"
"Always."
"That's not good enough."
"Always and forever?"
"That's better..."
"Always and forever and until the end of time?"
I smiled. "That's so romantic Haruka. Have you been doing some extra reading? Romance novels by any chance?"
"You actually think that's romantic?" She stared back at me in disbelief.
I giggled. "Of course not. It's complete cheese."
"Good," she whispered gently. "For a minute there I was a bit scared that you were into some type of...soap opera styled romance."
"Oh, I don't know," I whispered coyly. "Are you? Are you turned on by the fact that I'll be here for you always and forever, until the very, very, very, very, end of time?"
Her arms held me close, her voice just a breathe away, dancing with utter amusement. "How did you know, Michiru? How did you know? I'm absolutely turned on by your cliché sweet words and I'm ready to toss you back into bed with me all over again." The last part she whispered rather huskily and I could not help but feel that faint blush creep onto my pale cheeks again.
"You're so horrible, Haruka," I prodded her in the stomach again and teasingly pulled away as if taunting her emotions. I tried to straighten my face into a serious expression before speaking again. "I think we really should go now. I just want to go explain to my parents, be free from that biting guilt that has been eating away at me for the past few days and then we can be gone."
Haruka frowned slightly, rushing forward to catch me in her arms again. I let out a small yelp of surprise at her quick actions and looked at her questioningly. She simply stared down at me innocently from her height advantage. "Michiru, I was serious about being there for you. Always and forever. Until the end of time and all that."
"Oh," I blushed. "Well," I started in an odd stutter, "me too."
She grinned charmingly and swung me gracefully off my own two feet and into her arms bridal-style. I blinked again and stuttered, "But I think my parents will really be surprised if we walk in on them like this. I don't think it's necessary."
"Oh, of course not," Haruka answered casually. "But I was also serious about the 'tossing you back into bed with me all over again' thing too."
"Haruka!"
"Michiru!" She echoed my patronizing tone.
I tried to look annoyed but my emotions were out of my control and I could only break into a wide smile, a fit of giggles racking my small frame as I buried my face into her shirt.
"Some life-threatening events must be taken care of before we go see your parents, Michiru." She said in a dead serious tone and started towards the bedroom door again. My eyes widened in stark surprise when I realized she was actually serious, yet all she did was send me a coy little smile before shutting the bedroom door behind us with a faint, gentle click.
"Miss Kaioh!"
I had never been so nervous stepping into the threshold of my own home. All my life I had lived here, and yet now I felt like I was intruding on something that was in no way any bit attached to myself. The maid at the door was slightly white with surprise, holding open the door wide to let Haruka and I in. The house was still as dark and cold and lonely as ever, but the reassuring presence of Haruka behind me reminded me that I had choices now. I could leave and run off into my own fairy tale.
"Is my mother and father home?" I asked in a quiet voice, unsure why I was speaking so softly.
The maid could only nod, eyeing Haruka quizzically. "They have been worried," she added, as if it were the only thing appropriate to say.
"I know," I whispered, though half out of obligation. I glanced upwards at Haruka's taller form, but she merely gave my hand a reassuring squeeze and a lopsided grin. She stuck her hand into the pockets of her loose dress pants, her hair still slightly tousled from previous activities. I bit my lip as if in deep thought, then moved closer to help her button another button of her white blouse. She looked down at me in question.
"That looks more appropriate," I mumbled unintelligently and stepped back again.
Taking a deep breath, I started to enter the house when a loud, familiar stern voice rang out throughout the entry hall. The chandelier tinkled in response, casting an iridescent glow around the dimly lit room. I looked upwards, beyond the staircase leading to the second floor to see my father at the top of it, his face looking older and his hair looking slightly grayer. My heart squirmed with guilt. I was a horrible daughter, wasn't I?
"Kaioh Michiru," my father repeated just as loudly, just as sternly, and with just as much intimidation shining in his narrowed eyes. "Do not take another step into this mansion unless you know that you will stay put here and without that being following you around," my father snapped his attention towards Haruka, his eyes unwavering while a vein was starting to pulsate rather disturbingly near his temple.
Haruka, like her usual confident self, simply stared back, expression indifferent. I nudged her slightly, hoping she would at least look slightly solemn since we were, after all, here to announce to my parents that I had, had about enough in this restraining place called home. Yet my father words hit me harshly and I found myself stopping still, at the base of the staircase. I held my hands tightly around my small waist, trying to keep my gaze strong as I returned father's serious look. If I wanted to be taken seriously, I would speak loud and clear.
"Father..." I began, and flinched at the uncertainty laced in my voice.
Another familiar tone called out from the master bedroom. "Who are you talking to dear?" It was mother.
My body stiffened involuntarily as mother herself, in all her gorgeous beauty, came daintily out of the room with a towel wrapped high on top of her head, concealing our matching aqua locks. She gazed at my father's nearly red face and followed his line of vision towards me. I saw her pale visibly, a little gasp of surprise escaping her perfectly shaped lips. She held onto my father's arm for support. I felt even more out of place. It was as if they were seeing the dead body of some deceased family member.
But I was there daughter. Alive and kicking. I took another deep breath to suppress the urge to simply breakdown.
"I'm talking to Michiru, honey," my father answered mother slowly, though it was unnecessarily explained.
"Mother," I greeted, and bowed my head ever so slightly as if in respect. Though in reality, I simply could not look into those eyes that looked so much like my own, filled with emotion that mirrored hurt, horror, and betrayal. I cleared my throat quietly and dared myself to catch their gazes again. I opened my mouth to speak, but was abruptly interrupted.
"Michiru!" My mother's voice was shrill. "You-you, you've...her!" My mother seemed utterly appalled by my appearance, and as she could not piece together one coherent sentence, she switched her attention towards the front doors that were now closed with Haruka leaning lightly against them. My mother's eyelids were flapping frantically. She only did that when she had no idea what to do- which was rare. She was always in control. Perhaps that was where I had obtained my usual calm demeanor from, but at the present moment, my mother was anything but composed.
"You!" My mother repeated.
Haruka shifted her weight and stood at her full height, though my parents were still unmistakably taller with their stances at the top of the flight of stairs. Haruka had crossed her arms in front of herself, looking suddenly quite serious as she gazed at my parents levelly with her teal eyes set. "I think you should give a chance to your daughter to explain--"
"I don't need the likes of you to teach me how to discipline my own daughter!" My father cut in loudly. I saw the maid scuttle away out of the corner of my eye. My hands shook slightly. "I think you have to get it through that thick head of yours that you have completely and utterly destroyed our perfect family!" His tone was harsh and accusing, completely directed towards Haruka who suddenly looked angry.
I stepped in before I knew an argument was going to erupt, yet I knew it was quite inevitable. "Father! I think-I think you need to realize a few things," I started, glad that my voice was steady, glad that I was suddenly brave enough to speak. I held myself tightly, my eyes steady as I decided this was probably the only time I would ever get to reveal to them the daughter they had created with their own hands. Shaped with the power they held, taught with the knowledge they possessed. "Our family was never perfect," I nearly spat, quite angered by such a preposterous word. "In fact, maybe if you, father, and you, mother, were home more often, you'd...you'd see that."
My mother starting sputtering but father was now turning purple. "Michiru, what on earth are you talking about! Do you know why we are never home? Do you understand all the time and money we put into you? Do you even know how much we have done for you!" He took a shaky breath. "It was all for you, Michiru. Everything we do, all the money we try to scrape up is for your damn future! I thought I taught you better! I thought I taught you to appreciate everything around you--"
"I don't need money!" I shot back before my thoughts were even straight. "I don't need anymore fancy clothes, beautiful jewelry or high fashion shoes to make myself look like a walking Christmas tree! I don't need anymore professional teachers with a thousand billion prestigious students under their belts nor do I need whatever it is that you supposedly give me!" My breath was coming in short, but my gaze was still heavily set on my parents who were now staring at me as if I were a completely stranger. "I just need parents."
My mother simply stared. "Who do you think we are then, Michiru, child? Are you utterly blind?"
I shook my head slowly, my eyes stinging uncontrollably. "No, I'm not blind. You're my mother, with beautiful hair and perfect nails and always without a flaw. You're the envy of all mothers. Everyone wonders how you can be so simply...wonderful, accomplished, composed and poised. And you're the woman who simply wants to give me the best. Everything has to be the best, all the people around me are the best, and all the things I have are the best. And most of all, my life has to be the best. But mother, my life isn't anything near that. I can't be you," my shoulders sagged at that realization, that inevitable truth. "But don't think I never wanted to be like you, mother. You were my inspiration when I was just a little girl. If I could grow up to be as wonderful as mother, I'd be forever grateful. But...but now that I'm sixteen, and I can see the world without someone holding my hand and guiding me every step of the way, I see that...that I can't be everything perfect, like you. I can't be what everyone wants me to be. It's not...it's not what I want."
"What I want is just to be here," I unsuccessfully plastered a wobbly smile onto my face, waving my arms around me as if I were presenting a beautiful possession of some sort when there was nothing but air around me. "As your daughter. As a human being. Someone that needs care and attention. Myself, at the same time. I want to live and experience things that don't 'ruin my perfection'. Sometimes I just want to kick off my high heels and walk barefoot on the sand, along the seaside, and never have to worry about living up to expectations."
I hesitantly looked away from my parents and glanced over my shoulder to look at Haruka. She was watching me carefully, her teal eyes soft with emotion. I silently urged her to come to me, and somehow, she heard me and stepped forward, taking my hand in her own. I smiled softly at her, thanking her for being there with a simple look in the eye and turned back to face my parents. "Father, mother, this is Tenoh Haruka, this is the man I fell in curiousity with and the woman I fell in love with," my grip tightened around her hands as I stared steadily back at my parents who now looked quite lost. "I know, that perhaps you will never, ever understand, nor accept the fact that your daughter has simply turned out absolutely catastrophic and wrong, but...but this is who I am, what I am, and where I am in life. And I'm happy," a genuine smile, as small as it was, lit my face. "I'm happy," I repeated, confident with that fact. "When I can just breathe...and live...and enjoy being...everything simple in life."
My mother's bottom lip was trembling, and my father was no longer red or blue or purple, just pale. He was gripping the railing of the staircase rather tightly in his large hands, but a sort of...sad look had replaced the once furious expression on his face. I saw his chest heave with a deep intake of breath, and just then, mother broke away from father's arm and looked at me with narrowed, teary blue eyes.
"I can't believe this Michiru! You ungrateful child!"
And with that, she spun around in her slippers and stormed back into the master bedroom wailing and muttering whatever curses she was muttering. Her towel had fallen off and her aqua hair had tumbled around her in fury. My shoulders sank and I knew I was going to cry. Haruka squeezed my hand again, sending a slight shiver down my spine as my father, standing alone on the top of the stairs, stared grimly down at us.
"I hope you realize how much damage you have done to your family, Michiru," my father began slowly, his focus on me and me alone. He shifted his gaze towards Haruka briefly. "And this time, I will not pull in Tenoh. This has nothing to do with her, as I have come to realize," his voice was steady, shockingly calm and rational sounding. "I don't know where we went wrong, Michiru," my father confessed, his attention back on me again and that was when I saw the defeat and sadness in his wise gaze. My shoulders trembled again. I felt horrible.
Maybe it would have been better if I had just...just remained the dull, dying, carcass of a doll that I had been...
But Haruka's soft breathing next to me reminded me of all the thrills and happiness I had enjoyed throughout the past few days...that I decided it was worth it. I had to...I had to start weaving my own life, no matter how painful it was.
My father cleared his throat uncomfortably and started descending the stairs. He stopped shortly in front of me, his eyes roaming my face as if trying to find something important. Finally, he sighed, placing a hand briefly on my shoulder. "This will...not go well for any of us," he said firmly. "People will look at our family and wonder what has happened. People will talk behind our backs and point and make up silly stories. But," he paused slightly, "I see that you do not care, and that even if you do, you are strong enough to endure such ridicule." He let go of my shoulder, his jaw twitching slightly. "I know your mother won't forgive you, at least, not in the next decade or even longer. She has tried so hard to...to make sure you had the best of lives in the future...I hope, if you cannot accept anything else, that you do realize we did all we did because we truly love you Michiru. We only wanted to give you so much because we thought you deserved just as much. That you deserved all you got and that it would only do you good. Of course, we were...very much wrong. It has only done you, and the family as a whole...harm."
He cleared his throat again. "It's difficult...for the parent to watch from afar as their baby bird attempts to jump off that tree branch for the first time and try to fly or fall to their death," he smiled ever so slightly. "I hope...I hope you fly, Michiru. I...we, your mother and I, have tried all our lives to make sure you never had to fall, that we would always be there to support your wings...I guess, you're more ambitious than we thought, princess. You're going to fly alone now..."
"No, father," my voice was visibly less tense as I tried to smile back at my father, so uncontrollably glad that he had not thrown us out of the house right away and that he had even bothered to listen. "I won't fly alone..." I looked to my left, at Haruka who was still at my side. She simply give me a small smile and I could not contain one myself.
My father watched this grimly before clearing his throat again as if to remind us that he was still there. We both turned to look at my father quickly. He was now looking at Haruka, his gaze, though untrusting, not severe nor angry. "This is probably...the oddest situation you can place a father in," my father confessed gloomily. "But I hope...as I know I can't...I can't control everything in this world, that you do take care of my daughter..." my father looked quickly away, his form suddenly looking less intimidating as he gazed back at us with weary eyes. We simply stared back.
"Well, what else do you want me to say?" My father grumbled impatiently.
My smile broke into a grin and I leapt into my father, giving him a hug. He returned it hesitantly at first, but seemed to realize that it would probably be one of the last times we would embrace like this and immediately held me tightly in his strong embrace. "Thank you father," I whispered into his ear, hoping that he could sense the utter gratefulness I felt towards him. "Thank you."
"I haven't done anything," father mumbled and stepped away.
I couldn't help but continue smiling. Haruka shifted around again, but finally dared to speak, though in such a strange intense family atmosphere. "Mr. Kaioh, I will do everything in my power to make your daughter happy."
My father glanced at her for a few moments, as if wondering if her words were realistic and plausible. Finally, he wearily shrugged. "I have to tell you honestly that you are not on my list of preferences for someone worthy of being my daughter's...partner. But...like I have learned, again and again, that I cannot...control everything."
I wanted to hug him all over again, but the distant sounds of my mother still wailing alerted us of the strange situation we were now in. I bit my lip out of discomfort before breaking the awkward silence between us. "Haruka and I...Haruka and I are planning...planning to leave to go live in the countryside. It'll be really nice there...with a lot of...a lot of space."
My father could only nod stiffly. "I'm glad then."
"Well," I started hesitantly. "We'll write."
"Good," my father answered curtly.
I wrung my hands out of nervous anxiety, suddenly not sure how to communicate with someone who had tried so hard to be a father figure. Yet I thought, in all honesty then, that our last moments together were probably the most endearing and most memorable...the only time I could really remember him as a real father who finally opened his eyes to see what his daughter truly wanted. "We'll call too," I added softly.
"Of course."
I tucked a strand of loose aqua hair behind my ear and finally smiled, letting my shoulders relax. "Then I guess this is good-bye?"
"I have to go deal with your mother," my father confessed.
I was truly sad for having to leave him to deal with such a distraught woman, but I knew it was better that Haruka and I leave as soon as possible. I was slightly sad that I could not part with my mother on better terms, but I knew that she would not listen to me anytime soon. My father nodded his head once more before starting upstairs again, ushering a maid to come and see us out. I watched him go upstairs, looking older and even more tired than before. I bit my lip, unable to contain myself as I called out one last time.
"Good-bye, father."
He paused, almost at the top of the stairs. Finally, he turned around and offered the slightest of smiles, nodding his head once more at Haruka, in which she nodded back in respect and courtesy. Then, he rest his gaze on mine and I decided that I would believe him, that they really did try to make my life as wonderful as possible...just that they hadn't succeeded and ended up with results they hadn't wanted.
"Good-bye, Michiru."
"Love you," I added softly.
He sighed wearily, but responded nonetheless. "...Me too, princess, me too."
I watched, smiling all the while as father reached the bedroom door and retreated into it silently. I knew I had disappointed them. I knew I had ruined everything they ever dreamed of making me. But...as horrible as I felt for being so selfish, so uncharacteristically rebellious, I was happy. It was like breaking free from chains that had bound me for too long, leaving permanent rings of red around my wrists and ankles and everywhere else that I had been shackled down by the misery I had felt before all this. But I was happy now. And...I supposed that I could only hope my parents would forgive me one day...though I doubt they would anytime soon.
The maid came to see us off as I gave the mansion one last sweeping look. Was I sad to leave? I couldn't tell. But Haruka tugged me out of my reverie by gently leading me out, and with that, I looked up at her brightly, blue eyes dancing while I saw the freedom ahead of us and the skies stretching endlessly beyond to the unknown in which we would soar together in.
It was time to fly.
AN: Next chapter, Haruka and Michiru run off to the prairies, roll around in the hay, and get married and have children (huh?). Not. Lots more trouble to come, don't you all worry ;) I'm guessing everyone already knows who Haruka's "friend" is that lives in a nice big country mansion all by herself. Anyway, at least Michi's parents are out of the way now. Somewhat. Thanks everyone for reading this fic up to now and I would send you all...nice...happy heart and star shaped chocolates. If I could. Until next time :)