OMG I haven't updated in SO long

……. Veronica hastily sat on the stool. She could tell it was made in New Zealand. (the stool) She could tell this because it was sheep shaped. (Alliterations) The Sorting Hat filed through her mind with ease, she could feel it's evil creepy mind reading powers that will kill the world, cycle through her head.

" Yes, I see, I do believe Hufthefinlaw." And everyone looked at the Hat bewildered. What the fk is Hufthefinlaw, clearly the sorting hat was on crack. Anyway the sorting continued. Though Veronica didn't know were to sit she sat down next to some weirdo-kid who looked like one of the weird people from 'The Wiggles'.

Next to be sorted was a dude named Reely Needs Plast Iqu Surg Erey (in other words 'really needs plastic surgery') Kelsey was called up to be sorted next, as no surprise to anyone she was sorted into Ravenclaw, which angered Veronica most severely because she was sitting at the Ravenclaw table. Next Kelley came, who was sorted into Gryffindork. Then Elise was sorted into Huffn'puff. Then came Dana, who was sorted into Blytherin. Her evil mind was clearly being revealed as she strode over to the table and sat next to …… author turns head back and forth in order to increase the suspense ………………. author turns head back and forth in order to increase the suspense …………….. Draco Malfoy. (sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss.) people put devil horns on their heads using their fingers

In History of Laxatives class everybody but Hermione fell asleep. Funnily enough this class seemed to OOZE on by. Everyone decided that the dismissal of class was when Ernie Beenchillin farted, which shockingly enough happen just after Hermione raised her hand to ask a question about where and when to buy Laxatives without being embarrassed. Luckily everyone was asleep so no one heard her actually ask the question, which could have caused Hermione complete and total embarrassment.

Transfiguration class was also a complete bore. All they did in class was talk about how to reduce symptoms of improper transfiguration of the body. An example used more than once was Tretarus Aciddent who by mistake but his but where his head should have been.

Next was Herbology. This class was slightly more interesting then History of Laxatives because of the authors inability to come up with something remotely funny.

However, the castle grew darker everyday, there was something amiss. To everyone it felt like watching the Prisoner of Azkaban just to see the 121 mistakes Alfanzo made. (Emma Watson was actually called Emma on the Screen, lol, also you can see cameras in shots.) Finally After about 20 days of Doom and Gloom a remarkable sun rose from the south.

"What the flippin fairies is the sun doing raising from the South?" question Kelsey as she talked to her new friends, Cucumber Pie.

"A red sun rises, blood has been spilt this knight." Declared Katie Bell, from the top of Gryffindork tower she looked remarkably like Legolas. (I mean seriously, we all know that Legolas is a girl)

The days at Hogwarts (you see I don't even HAVE to make fun of it's name, I mean it COULD be Pigpimples but everyone know that that school already exists elsewhere.) grew ever more steady. People began to disappear, and not return, as most people who disappear don't return. Finally at the end of this really poorly written story, at the end of the school year, only a mere 5 students remained.

Their names were:

Hermione Danger

Hairy Potty

Lone Weasle

Faco Tattletale

And

Orlando Bloom ((DAM (yes that's a beaver dam) WRONG STORY AGAIN))

Sorry about my bad story, I just lost heart in it.