Disclaimer : I do not own Bishoujo Sailor Moon or any of its characters except for Kazuki/Akira/strange people who I made up randomly on the spot. The original manga rightfully belongs to Takeuchi Naoko.
Chapter 11: These Silly Feelings of Mine
by Enchanted Ice Star
One Year Later
Running a brush through my wavy hair, I smiled at my reflection and reached towards the vanity desk for the bottle of perfume that Haruka had given me for my birthday a few months ago. It smelled faintly of the sea and was contained in a small blue tinted glass bottle. After applying a thin coat of clear lip gloss to my lips, I grabbed my handbag that matched the white summer dress I was wearing and turned towards the adjoining bathroom door that was connected to the room Haruka and I shared.
I stared at the closed door curiously and checked my reflection one last time. "Haruka? Are you done yet?" Frowning slightly at my bangs, I fluffed them out a little and nodded in satisfaction just as the bathroom door clicked open and Haruka stepped out, a duffle bag in one hand that contained her racing gear. She was slowly but surely fulfilling her lifelong dream of becoming Japan's best F1 racer. I smiled at her with hidden pride.
"Hai, ready to go?" She opened the bedroom door for me and I stepped through.
"I always am," I replied lightly and turned to give her the daily kiss on the cheek.
A familiar voice called up as the two of us headed downstairs, side by side. Setsuna appeared rather hastily at the base of the stairs, looking slightly flustered as she glanced at her watch again. "You two remember that I won't be home until nine today, right?"
"Of course we remember," Haruka chuckled. "You've been going on about this day for the whole week."
"Was I?" Setsuna blinked, looking startled.
I giggled, "No, Haruka is only teasing. But good luck, Setsuna-chan," I said earnestly and with sincerity. "I'm sure they'll love your designs."
"I hope so," Setsuna replied, fidgeting slightly with the sleeve of her denim blazer and gave Haruka and I a furtive smile. Throughout the entire year of living with Setsuna, I had rarely seen the woman ever fret or seem any bit fazed by the world around her- except, of course, when it came to something that would affect her future as a fashion designer. Today was the day she was going to meet up with one of Tokyo's top designers, Yoshiki Hinshinuma, to see if she could get a job with them. "I better be off."
"You sure you don't need a ride?" Haruka offered once again. She had done so during breakfast about a dozen or so times already.
Setsuna shook her head quickly. "I'm going in the opposite direction anyways."
Haruka shrugged next to me. "If you say so."
The older woman smiled somewhat stiffly and bade us both good-bye before exiting the mansion with a black leather briefcase in hand, looking very much professional and serious. Then again, I had learned that Setsuna was usually very sedate and wasn't a very extroverted person. Yet she gave wonderful advice and I found that I could confide in her many of my worries and thoughts. She was an excellent listener and we had become quite close. I turned to smile at Haruka.
"Then I guess we should be off too?"
She nodded, jingling the car keys in her pocket as we both exited the house to Haruka's familiar Ferrari. Though Haruka had spoken about selling it many times before to get something else, she never got around to it. I was somewhat glad, for the car held many sweet memories for me and I felt somewhat attached to it. Getting into the passenger seat, a smile tugged on my lips as our usual daily routine started to unfold again. It provided me comfort that I had such a stable schedule. I would always wake up every morning and snuggle up to Haruka's form, blowing air into her face until she woke up. I would always wake up and make breakfast, sometimes aided by Setsuna who always made overly bitter coffee for everyone. I would always get ready first and wait for Haruka afterwards, and then we would be where we were now, in the car, heading back into the city where most of our time was spent.
It was decided, after half a year of utter relaxation and freedom in the countryside, that we needed to do something productive. So, Haruka continued on with her racing and I received a job at a community centre to teach art to children. Every morning, Haruka would drop me off with a kiss on the cheek and drive off again to the racetrack and I would teach something I had a passion for to adorable little girls and boys. I couldn't have asked for anything better.
"Tachi and a few of us were talking a few days ago," Haruka began slowly at first, giving me a quick side glance.
"Oh?" I looked at her with curiousity. I knew Tachi-kun was another racer that went to the same racetrack as Haruka did to practice and also the same garage. I had only met him a few times. I glanced at Haruka again and noticed she seemed somewhat nervous, which was strange because she was never uneasy around me. I placed a hand over one of her own and gave them a light squeeze. "What's wrong?"
"We were just...talking and we all realized we really could take this seriously and well," Haruka shrugged slightly and let a small smile light her face. "We're going to go to the United States for the CART races just for the heck of it. We've all done extraordinary in the F1 races here at home and we can really start dreaming big."
I didn't really understand what she meant or what exactly CART races were, but I could thoroughly understand the going to the United States part of her sentence which sent an odd flutter through my stomach. Yet, noticing the slightly anxious look in Haruka's teal eyes that was masked behind her usual calm demeanor, I merely smiled at her brightly. "That's wonderful Haruka," I expressed in all honesty, ignoring whatever that twinge was that had passed through my chest. I nodded again and my smile brightened. I was truly happy for her. Haruka's dream was coming true and I couldn't be any more proud. "When are you all planning to go?"
She smiled, relieved at my response. "It's actually in two months, so there's still time and it's only going to be for ten days. I just...I wasn't sure how you would react," she confessed and ran a hand through her blonde locks that she still kept in the same style. "I've never left you alone before."
"You're not leaving me alone," I giggled softly. "I have Setsuna to keep me company."
"That's true," she nodded slightly but looked worried nonetheless. "I just like to keep my eye on you and if I'm all the way in America--"
"I'm not a little girl, Haruka," I pointed out and laughed, "nor am I a pet goldfish that needs someone to come and feed me. I can take care of myself, but I'm going to be awfully worried about you," I played with the hand on her lap and sighed softly. "Who's going to cook you breakfast? Who's going to iron your clothing? Who's going to make sure you actually eat?"
She chuckled gently and shook her head. "Michiru, I know how to feed myself."
"I know," I pouted slightly. "But I know that without me, you'd probably survive on instant noodles or something just as absurd."
"What I'm worried about," Haruka cut in seriously as she made a left turn and the busy hustle bustle of downtown Tokyo came into full view, "is who's going to kiss me? And who's going to tell me that they love me? And who's going to give me those massages at the end of the day? And--"
"Now you're being silly," I giggled and gave her a quick peck on the cheek as the community centre came into view. "We still have two months. You make it seem like you're leaving tomorrow, or right now."
"I am leaving right now," Haruka noted with a hint of stubbornness.
I smiled at her as I got out of the car, swinging my handbag over my shoulder as I did so. "You know what I mean," I whispered and started towards the doors. A few little girls that I recognized were in my class waved at me ecstatically before blushing and rushing into the building ahead of me.
"I'll be back at four to pick you up."
"Of course," I tilted my head at her and watched as she smiled, a small quirk to her inviting lips, and drove off again. I sighed slightly, the conversation we had moments ago rushing back into my mind in one instance. America. I had gone there once, when I was a child with my parents for a business trip. I couldn't remember much about it except that the air smelt sort of different. I smiled wistfully and entered the large brick building, nodding at some receptionists before going to the art room.
America. I would miss her. I knew I would miss her. I knew I would miss her immensely, and I knew that she knew I would, and that she would too. We had never been apart for so long, even if it was only ten days. We were always usually together, unless Haruka was off somewhere with her car and I was off somewhere with my paintbrush, but other than that, we were always together, hand in hand, strolling down the streets or having silly little dates in cute little diners on the corner of the block. I clutched my bag somewhat tightly and shook my head with a sheepish smile on my face.
I was seventeen now, I could survive a mere ten days without Tenoh Haruka. I laughed inwardly at how badly I was becoming dependent on her company and entered the art room without another second of hesitation. I needed some form of distraction or I would start moping and brooding again.
"Kaioh-sensei! Kaioh-sensei!" A little girl by the name of Ayame, her hair in two pigtails, rushed over to me with red paint smeared on her cheeks. She grinned up at me giddily. "Naoko-chan thinks I look like Pikachu! I have red cheeks now like Pikachu!"
I smiled warmly at her and nodded, "You do look like Pikachu, Ayame-chan."
She beamed up at me brightly. "But I don't want to look like Pikachu," she blinked her big round brown eyes up at me as if with sudden realization. "I want to look like Kaioh-sensei!"
I stared at her in surprise but she simply nodded again, looking like she was reconfirming her own thoughts. "I want to have pretty hair and pretty eyes like Kaioh-sensei when I grow up."
"You already have pretty hair and pretty eyes Ayame-chan," I gave her head a quick pat before heading towards my desk in which I left my bag and clapped my hands together, calling for all the other children's attention. They stopped running about and chasing after one another to give me their attention, suddenly looking very attentive and serious. I smiled. It was wonderful how the children respected me and would actually listen to what I wanted to teach them. It would have been more difficult if they wouldn't and continued to run around as if they were perpetually being chased by wild lions. "We'll be continuing with our teapots today and I know that some of you are already ready for the glazing."
A few heads bobbed up and down as I spoke and I smiled gently at them all. "Remember not to add too much water to the clay. Especially you, Emi-chan," I caught her gaze and she flushed slightly. "Remember how much it cracked last time?"
She nodded slowly and started nibbling on her thumbnail. I continued smiling and turned towards the sink to get some equipment for the children while the others started spreading out sheets of newspaper to work on top of. I waved Emi-chan over, who was a tiny girl of about seven years old, and handed her two buckets of water. "Could you help me put them on the tables?"
She nodded again, suddenly quite excited to be given such a task and hurried off with the water. I watched her go with almost a longing look in my eyes before I shook my head clear of my silly thoughts and wandered over towards a table which was already seated with children working attentively at their clay teapots. It was a more creative project, in that everyone was allowed to design whatever teapot they wanted. I placed a hand on a little boy's shoulder, Ryo, and gave it a small squeeze. "That's wonderful, Ryo-kun."
He looked up at me with wide eyes and turned an instant bright red. I watched with amusement as he nodded fervently and stuttered a quick thank you before adding tentatively, "It's...it's a dragon. See? The tail, it's the handle of the teapot."
I nodded, eyes shining, "It's wonderfully creative, very well thought out."
He blushed again and I decided I should probably leave him alone. As I turned to go, I heard the little boy next to him, Takashi, nudge him and whisper excitedly. I caught something along the lines of, "Kaioh-sensei thinks you're so talented! I think she likes you!"
I giggled softly into my hand and went about the room, overseeing each and every student in their work and making sure they were well on their way with their projects. When I was satisfied that everyone was settled in, I walked over to the sinks again and started cleaning out some dirty paint pallets and brushes, watching the water swirl into the murky water that was twisted with greens, yellows, and blues. I sighed softly, shoulders heaving ever so slightly. Haruka. Shutting my eyes for a brief second, I smiled at my own silliness. I was suppose to be happy. Happy. Genuinely happy. Ten days weren't that long. And she wasn't leaving until two months later anyway. After all, time flew.
A year had already gone by since I had moved in with Haruka and Setsuna. A year had already gone by since I had broken away from my so-called home with mother and father. I suddenly wondered how they were doing. Throughout the entire year, we had only communicated once and it was a brief terse phone call. In fact, my mother had refused to speak to me and only my father had hesitantly had a curt conversation with me. I frowned at the memory as I ran my fingers through the soft hairs of the paintbrush gripped tightly in my hand.
And most important of all, a year had already gone by since I had fallen in love with Tenoh Haruka.
And I knew my feelings were not any less severe. I was still head over heels, passionately in love with the tall blonde racer and I knew I would never stop loving her. She was a part of me. Forever. Hearing her heartbeat calmed me like the waves of the sea could slow my heart rate. Feeling her breath near me was like feeling the warm rays of the sun on my back. Her hands intertwined with mine would forever be by support, my pillar, I could go anywhere hand in hand with her.
Then my thoughts shifted again, and I knew ten days, no matter how hard I tried to think otherwise, would be awfully slow and tedious. Dumping out a bucket of nearly black water into the sink, I sloshed it out of its container and onto another pallet, a rush of coloured water filtering away into who knows where. I turned off the sink and dried off my hands with a nearby towel, brushing a few strands of hair away from my eyes when suddenly something caught my attention.
I paused, gazing discretely towards the far side of the room where the walls were covered with windows. The room was designed to have a full wall of windows to allow natural sunlight in for a better environment for artwork to be done. Yet right now, a little girl was standing by one of the glass panes, small hands pressed against the glass and eyes wide as she watched all the other children hard at work with their art project. I blinked slightly, surprised I hadn't noticed her before as she was awfully noticeable now.
She had the darkest hair I had ever seen, like the colour of a raven's feathers and the biggest violet eyes. They were so round yet so dark, a strange sense of loneliness welling from its deep dark depths. Her mouth was small, her nose slightly pointed, her skin as pale as the sheets of paper spread out on the desks for the children to doodle on. And what was most strange about the girl was her state of attire. Her cheeks were smudged with dirt and her pants were ripped and the pink sweater she was wearing could hardly be called pink any longer. It was more brown now, due to the amount of dirt and whatever it was that had gotten onto it. I instinctively took a step towards the window but the girl was strangely alert and twitched instantly.
Her head immediately shot towards my direction and she caught my gaze for one brief second. In that moment, I thought I could see fear, shock, and a sudden curiousity erupt in her violet eyes. She stared for a little bit longer before suddenly turning on her heels and running off again through the bushes. My lips fell into a frown as my brow furrowed in deep thought. Who was that little girl? She looked hardly seven or eight and looked like she desperately needed a good bath and a filling meal. I felt something pull at my heart and wondered why I was so worried for the girl.
"Kaioh-sensei, were you watching her?"
I turned to look down at Ayame-chan who was holding a ball of clay in one of her small fists. I nodded slightly, unsure of how else to respond. Ayame nodded back, eyes blinking rapidly as she stared towards the area where the mysterious little girl had stood only moments ago. "She's always here, you know. It's kind of scary."
I stared in surprise. She was always here? How come I hadn't noticed? Bending down to be closer to Ayame's height, I stared at the girl curiously. "Really Ayame-chan? That little girl with the dark hair?"
She nodded, looking quite proud to be the one to provide such information. "Yep! Naoko-chan and I always see her by the windows or in the bushes staring at us. It's funny. She's funny. Why doesn't she come in?"
I placed a hand underneath my chin out of habit and stood up to my full height again. I suddenly decided to pay more attention to the windows and made a mental note to myself that I would definitely find out more about the little girl who always came by to watch my art classes. Looking back at Ayame, I gave her an encouraging smile and nodded towards her half finished teapot. "Shouldn't you go back to your project, Ayame-chan?"
She quickly obliged and ran off again, nearly tripping over her own untied shoelaces. Shaking my head, I took a seat by my own personal easel and stared at the blank canvas in front of me. Glancing at the rows of neatly bottled paint before me, I picked up a paintbrush, dampened it, and decided that I was suddenly inspired to paint something. Dipping my paintbrush into a mound of purple paint, I set myself to work.
Just like Haruka had promised, she arrived promptly at four to pick me up from the community centre. Her hair was just as windblown as usual, giving her that usual fresh and lively look to her as her eyes danced when she caught sight of me walking towards the car. I had my bag in one hand and my half finished painting in the other, opening the car door awkwardly and slipping into the seat. It had been a long day, after Takashi accidentally broke one of the student's teapots which resulted in quite a show of tears. Of course, I had managed to fix everything, but dealing with an entire class of children had finally taken its toll on me for the day.
"What's that?" Haruka looked over her seat at the painting I had placed in the backseat.
"An unfinished project," I explained. "I couldn't remember how the sunlight danced in my subject's hair, so I had to stop."
Haruka could only nod slightly, looking away from the dark eyes and form of a little girl I had painted. "She looks really sad."
"She was looking very sad," I corrected.
"Is she a student?" Haruka asked as we backed out of the parking lot and onto the streets.
I shook my head slowly, "Just...a little girl."
Haruka seemed slightly confused, but nodded nonetheless. Smiling suddenly, she made a left turn before suggesting, "We haven't been to your favourite Italian restaurant in a while. Don't you think we should go sometime soon?"
"What about Setsuna-chan?"
"Don't you remember? She has that meeting today," Haruka reminded and I instantly recalled where Setsuna was for the night and smiled.
"Then I guess it's okay if we go back a little bit later than usual," I said quite happily and let myself lean back in my seat, shutting my eyes and letting the breeze do its magic of soothing my senses. "I want to take advantage of the next two months that I have with you before the racetrack claims you."
"For ten days," Haruka reminded.
"For ten days," I echoed, opening my eyes slowly and watching the traffic speed by and the sun which was still hanging high above the sky on a typical late summer afternoon. "Oh, Haruka, it will feel like eternity won't it?" I sighed.
"Of course not. Now who's being silly?" Haruka teased, though I could hear the sadness laced in her voice even through the excitement she felt for finally achieving her dreams. I didn't want to hold her back though. I didn't want to be a liability. I quickly shook my head and plastered a smile onto my face, wondering when I had become such a selfish person. Haruka's voice softened slightly when she noticed my silence and she managed a short laugh. "Ten days in an entire lifetime. We'll survive, Michiru."
"I know," I whispered and fell silent once more. Haruka drove quickly and we arrived at the restaurant, parking the car in one of the few last spaces in the underground parking lot. We got out of the car, a sudden urge rushing through me to feel Haruka by my side. I walked towards her and held onto her arm, almost as if I needed her for support to walk. I smiled up at her, happy once more that she was simply by my side. "I guess tonight should be a celebration. A celebration for you in achieving your dreams."
She smiled cheekily back at me as we started towards the elevator, but the mood was abruptly broken when a baseball bat came soaring across our vision and landed forcefully through the car window of a nearby Mercedes. The alarm in the car started blaring, but whoever had thrown the baseball bat didn't seem to mind and simply stepped up into plain view from behind a large green truck.
"Celebration my ass," the man spat, a wad full of spit landing grossly at his feet. I suppressed my urge to cringe and my grip around Haruka's arm tightened as five more men came up and surrounded us. They had all been hiding here already. They had been waiting for us. How did they know we were going to be here? We hadn't come here in a long time. All these thoughts ran hastily in my mind as I surveyed our situation with an exterior calm. I knew who these people were, and why they were here. They were probably men hired by Haruka's top competitors to try to rid themselves of competition. Throughout the past year of Haruka's steady rise to fame, attacks had become a little more frequent, but they still threw me off from time to time.
"Tenoh, we heard about your little plans to go to America," another well-built young looking male stepped forward, gripping another bat tightly in one fist. "But we don't think you deserve to go."
"You're a woman after all," a third man piped up, stepping roughly on a cigarette before smirking at us.
Haruka tensed next to me. She always fired up when people brought up her gender. She strongly believed that sex didn't matter and that both men and women had the full right to race and do whatever other sports they wanted to do. She grunted slightly, looking simply peeved as she gazed back at the men steadily, looking anything but fazed. "Keep your garbage in your mouth. You bastards are working for Takagi, aren't you?"
"Doesn't matter does it?" Some man snorted and started laughing rather insanely. A frown fell onto my usual calm face and I felt anger flare inside of me. I hated how they always wanted to bring Haruka down. I hated how these people couldn't stand to see her succeed. I hated how they didn't want to be fair.
"Cause everyone wants you out, don't they?" The man with the baseball bat pointed out arrogantly. "No one wants a woman out there. What's that suppose to make us look like?"
Haruka scoffed and gave them all a steely glare. "What's with all the small talk anyway? I thought you guys were here for a purpose."
I let go of Haruka's arm, sensing that things were about to get a little bit less calm and perhaps a bit bloody. Shifting myself slightly, Haruka and I stood back to back in the underground parking lot, five men gloating and glaring down at us like we were some sort of prey ready to be slaughtered. All the while, the Mercedes continued to blare its alarm and I wondered ruefully why its owner didn't come down yet. Though I doubted that would help any bit.
"Oh, now you wanna play don't you?" The man who had burnt out his cigarette laughed loudly, the awful sound echoing in the area we were in. "How about you, lady? You wanna play?" His gaze shifted towards me and I hated the way his eyes wandered up and down. I bit my lip to suppress whatever ugly expression threatened to spill on my face and I felt Haruka tense even more behind me.
"Don't talk to her," she snapped roughly.
"Oh," another man lowered his voice mockingly. "Fire, fire, I think we've started one in this fucking tall blonde bitc--"
He was cut short when Haruka sent a flying punch to his nose, sending his head cracking backwards in an awkward angle and causing him to trip over his own feet and behind the form of a navy blue Toyota. The other four men instantly reacted and closed in, the distant sound of a swishing baseball bat sending my heart rate up into a nervous panic. I took a breath and ducked, sensing some sort of a limb flying towards my head and watched as a fist barely grazed the side of my cheek.
"Hey, pretty lady, why don't you come with me and I can show you some real stuff?" A voice whispered hotly into my ear as I ducked past. I felt the owner of the voice grab my arm but his words had angered me and I sent a kick at his shin, causing him to double over slightly and loosen his grip. I stumbled back, frustrated that I had worn high heels today, not that I didn't always wear high heels anyway.
"Damn! What the fuck is your problem?" The man cursed, recovering quickly and starting towards me again.
By this time, Haruka and I were already separated as she was keeping busy with the other three men all trying to bring her down. I heard her curse, but I somehow knew she was okay for the time being and concentrated on not doing something stupid as the man in front of me lunged. I sidestepped out of the way as I quickly planted a punch in his gut. He groaned and muttered something inaudible before he groggily reached out and somehow managed to grab a few strands of my hair. I bit my lip as he yanked, refusing to make any sort of noise.
"You're one pretty feisty bitch aren't you?" He yanked me closer, his breath reeking of beer and cigarette smoke mixed with sweat. I swiftly reached towards my feet, slipping one foot out of a pointy heeled shoe and smiled daintily back at him.
"And you're one rotten smelly fool," I spat back into his face and brought my shoe down onto his head, watching as his eyes widened for a millisecond before he collapsed at my feet. Catching my breath for only a moment, I watched as Haruka stumbled back and nearly fell to her feet, the three men slowly gaining on her. I slipped my shoe back on and hurried over to her side of the parking lot, not really thinking as I ran as fast as I could into one of the men, sending him and myself to the hard concrete ground.
"Shit!" I heard the man beneath me splutter as I got up quickly, suddenly taking a mental note of how awkward it was to fight and kick around in a summer dress. I quickly dismissed the thought and kicked the man hard in the groin, just as Haruka came up behind me to send the man over the top of her shoulder and onto his back again. He landed in a sprawled position and groaned loudly, glaring at us through newly puffed up eyes and got up messily to his feet. He opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out.
Haruka stared at him and he finally raised a fist and scampered away. I held in a laugh and turned to look behind me, seeing that Haruka had already dealt with the other two men who were now laying unconscious in the back of their green truck. I finally laughed and felt Haruka watching me. I turned to look at her curiously but she was simply staring.
"When did you ever learn how to fight?" She finally asked, looking slightly out of it.
"Since I started living with you and realizing what a dangerous lifestyle you had?" I answered smoothly, brushing messy strands of aqua hair away from my face. A strand had even gotten stuck to my lip due to my now slightly sticky lip gloss. I took another breath and crossed my arms in front of me. "I think I'm really ready for dinner now."
Haruka nodded, still looking slightly surprised as she steered me towards the elevators and up to the second floor where the restaurant was. When we took our seats, she looked at me quite worriedly. "Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine," I replied, trying to make her feel that everything was alright as I caught her gaze steadily. "But you?"
"Just a scratch," she waved off dismissively before resting her elbows on the table, sending a glare to an approaching waitress to give us some privacy. I wanted to laugh at her behavior, for she usually would be turning on her charms and trying to seduce the poor waitress, but I knew Haruka only did it out of habit. I had grown use to it and strangely enough, it simply made me feel more loved now that I could read and understand Haruka so much more. She would tell pretty women wonderful things, but her eyes always had that blank look in them when she did so, unlike the dancing light I saw every time she turned her gaze onto me. Sometimes, I used her flirting with other women to make sure she still loved me just as much as I did to her.
"Are you sure you're alright?"
"Yes, Haruka," I repeated calmly, smiling at her doubtful expression. "You look like you can't believe that I can defend myself. Isn't it a good thing?"
She looked slightly flustered before she leaned back in her seat, shoulders relaxing just a bit. "I'm just a bit worried," she managed. "I don't want you to hurt your hands. Your hands are everything to you."
"No," I mumbled softly. "You are everything to me."
She blushed a light pink, looking quite cute then. "Michiru," she sighed in exasperation. "I'm trying to be serious here," she put on a grim look, but her eyes betrayed her. I played along nonetheless and placed my hands in my lap, looking as attentive as the children in my art class.
"Well, Miss Tenoh? What are you trying to say?" I blinked at her innocently.
"What I'm trying to say is that...if that happens again, I just want you to run. I want you to go somewhere safe and not look back because your safety is my number one priority--"
I reached over the table and placed a finger to her lip, giving her a harsh glare as the words tumbled out of her mouth. She fell silent and stared almost cross-eyed at my finger before looking at me. I retracted my finger and shook my head slowly, face set out of sheer stubbornness. "A year ago, I left with you, Tenoh Haruka, knowing exactly what I was getting myself into. I knew maybe times would be like this and I told myself that I would never leave your side. The only reason I'm here today is because of you Haruka, I don't know how hard it is for me to stress this and it might sound awfully frightening, but without you, why should and would I be here?" My voice had softened severely and I knew she could barely here me anymore, but I couldn't bring myself to speak any bit louder.
She stared back at me, her eyes slightly wide at my words but I didn't regret saying them. She meant the world to me, and a world without her was utterly meaningless. I smiled, a slightly forced one as I tilted my head to the side. "I will never leave you behind and you cannot tell me to."
She let my words sink in. She finally nodded, her eyes shifting to the glass in front of her as she cleared her throat awkwardly. "Then...then I guess I'm glad you know how to pack a punch," she lamely joked and sighed heavily. "What am I going to do if you ever get hurt because of me?"
"What am I ever going to do if you get hurt because I leave you all alone?" I countered, raising an eyebrow.
She smirked, blonde strands of hair falling into her eyes as she leaned forward ever so slightly, bringing our faces closer together. "Then I guess we're doomed to be stuck together Michiru. I can't let you out of my sight and you can't either. It's going to be a long, long life together, hm?"
I smiled coyly back at her and pushed her back into her seat with one finger on her forehead. "Don't make it sound so bad, Tenoh. I'm not a slave driver."
"Right, and I hope there is truth behind your words."
"Haruka."
She chuckled and finally waved the waitress over, though the woman already looked slightly frightened and wide-eyed as she came to our table, a pad of paper in one hand and another shaky hand holding a pen. Haruka quickly ordered the usual and our menus were taken away, but throughout the entire ordeal, I had sat in my seat, staring at her talking, the way her mouth mouthed and the way her eyes flittered to and fro.
I suddenly realized how dependent I had become on her. I suddenly realized how deeply and madly I was still in love with her and how she too depended on my presence. Together, we were strong and we could face anything. Apart, we would break and we would melt into the nothingness that made the endless ocean and sky. My hands shook slightly as I willed these horrible thoughts out of my head.
No, no, I would always be with Haruka. I would make sure she would be alright and that nothing would harm her. I could not bare anything happening to her and the thought alone simply made my heart prickle. She was my breath, my heartbeat, and I could not bare to lose it.
It was quite unbelievable, how much Haruka meant to me...
"Michiru?"
I blinked rapidly, my eyes refocusing as I looked back at Haruka in question. "Hmm?"
"You alright? You seemed a bit dazed."
"Oh, ara...I'm fine," I answered quietly, forcing a smile to my lips as I looked at her lovingly, unashamed of my affection or any bit of my feelings towards the woman sitting in front of me. "I was just thinking...how important you were to me."
Haruka seemed surprised as her teal eyes widened rather comically for one brief second before she smiled, eyes glinting. "Do you still need to think about such things? I'm sad that it isn't second nature to you," she teased.
I could only smile, knowing that she understood my feelings for her yet something still pulled at my mind. I desperately wanted her to feel it. To feel every bit of love I had for her and every bit of feeling I put into her and her only. I knew she always teased me when we got onto deep serious topics, but sometimes, I wished she could fully and truly understand every ounce of adoration that I possessed for her only. This sudden desperation for her to realize the depth of my feelings were so unbearable that I nearly had to get out of my seat and grab her.
But of course, I maintained my cool and sat rather still, letting my eyes display the turmoil I was feeling. I knew Haruka could tell I was trying to be serious, as her eyebrows lowered slightly and her gaze went sedate. She was resting her chin on her hands again, an old habit of hers, and I realized how silly I was, remembering all her littlest actions.
"Do you really...do you really know how much you mean to me?" I found myself asking, voice slightly hoarse as I tightened my grip around the edge of my seat.
Haruka looked surprised once again, but this time the surprise didn't fade and she seemed to wonder if something was wrong. I shook my head slowly, letting a short laugh roll out of my mouth. "I'm being foolish, but I just can't believe how...how weak I would be if you were to disappear...or to simply...not be here," I could barely hear my own voice but I couldn't stop babbling. Perhaps the recent attack had brought me back to earth again, bringing me down from my fairytale castle and letting me see that reality wasn't all peace and quiet. "Why should I cook breakfast anymore? Why should I try to make myself look beautiful? Why should I simply try to live anymore?"
Haruka's eyes widened even more, if that was possible. She leaned forward in her seat, eyes searching my own as she reached across the table to grasp one of my hands in her own larger ones. Her warmth calmed me, and I felt myself loosening my grip around my seat. "Michiru," her voice hinted a bit of amusement, "I'm not going to disappear. And you don't even have to make yourself look beautiful, you already are beautiful, right when you wake up every morning...just like an angel."
I laughed, knowing she was starting to worry. I wanted her to forget about my silly troubles as I nodded towards the waitress who was bringing out our appetizers. "I know, I know, you're like the North Star to me. You always...show me the way and take my hand...I''ll never get lost as long as you guide me," my voice fell into a hush again as I smiled, this time a genuine one. "I'm just being ridiculous."
"Not ridiculous, just my ever caring Michiru."
I let my smile widen as the waitress set down our plates, knowing full well that our love was just as strong as any day and that nothing would ever break this special bond we had. It was funny, how I could tell what she was thinking just by how wide her eyes were or the scowl on her lips. It was funny, how she in turn could tell when I was feeling a bit off or needing a bit of comfort.
It was funny, how much I love you...Haruka.
AN: The second half of this chapter was to show how Michiru has progressed from a more timid character to someone who can actually defend herself. Hm. What else is there to say? Oh, right, and the first half of this chapter was basically to show how the daily lives of H&M have become, and of course, to also add a new character into this fic which I'm sure all of you have already realized whom I'm referring to ;) OH! Another major note, I'm not a huge F1 wiz or racing wiz in general, so if I get any details/info wrong, please please tell me. Other than that, this story will probably start rolling a bit faster by next chapter. I'm hoping this will be the case at least, because this fic is getting longer than I anticipated. Ah well. Writing keeps my mind loose :P (if that makes any sense...) Thank you so much everyone for the constant support!