(A/N: My first S/S!)
Disclaimer: Duh…I don't own CCS!
Dancing In the Rain:
Chapter One: Rain
A short, but dismissive bell rang, shattering the silence of the small house, being as loud as thunder outside. "Who could that be at in this weather? He doesn't come home until a few more minutes." the long black haired woman asked herself angrily and irately swung the door open. Her hazel eyes immediately opened in shock and astonishment.
Tentatively, bending over, she picked up the bundle and pushed aside the pink, cherry blossom fleece blanket. Her expression softened as she looked at the small package. A small, round, golden, sleeping face looked back at her. Auburn hair framing her face and small hands tightly clutching a small piece of jewelry, a name tag tied around her neck, said, "Sakura."
The woman was bewildered. Who would leave such a beautiful baby on just anyone's doorstep like this on such a cold, evening when it was raining? Who was this baby? She knew nothing of the baby, other than her name and that she was dreadfully drenched.
Deciding that holding the baby outside in the cold could do not much, the woman brought Sakura inside, still bundled like a package in her fleece blanket and basket. Sighing in awe of the baby, she lifted the baby from the basket.
Immediately, the baby's eyes fluttered open. Piercing emerald. Her eyes looked at the woman warily and sleepily. Almost as if tired of doing this many times.
The woman chuckled softly to herself, and kissed Sakura's forehead. Looking up heavenwards, she said, "I knew you'd answer my prayers. Please let me keep her."
Rocking the baby in her arms, tears started to form in her eyes. There was much resemblance to Kira, thought the woman as she skillfully changed the baby into some of Kira's old baby clothes. A pink dress, and made Sakura look so much like her. How badly the woman had wished Kira could be here right now. Alive and well. Kira hadn't deserved to die at such a young age. She was still only a baby. Only fourteen. How could she die like that? The fever. It plagued all and took many. Kira was the one to leave from this household.
Kira, Kira, Kira, the woman thought wistfully. Peeking once more at the baby she just rocked to sleep, her face clouded with happiness. "Now I have you."
Suddenly, a loud knock erupted on the front door. Hurrying to the door with the baby still in her hands, she opened the door. The door opened to reveal a tall chestnut haired man with glasses. (A/N: Okay guys I don't know what Fujiataka looks like, excuse me please!) He didn't lean down to her and give her a kiss like he usually did. Right away he knew something was amiss. That something was bundled and in his wife's arms.
"Zariel? Who is this baby?" he bellowed loudly, his deep voice rumbling and shaking the tiny house.
"I don't know. I found her on the doorstep. Look how beautiful she is. All alone." She said once again entranced by the baby girl.
The man took a quick glance at the baby and his eyes hardened. "Get that little bitch out of here. I don't want an extra mouth to feed. We can't even feed Touya properly."
"Fujitaka honey, what are you talking about? We are doing just fine. Don't talk like we're poor. We aren't. We have money. Besides, what do you suggest doing with the poor baby darling?" She paused then said in a scolding tone, "And don't let me hear you say she's a bitch again. She's only a baby! You can't use that language!"
"Don't tell me what to do! I am the man of the house. I don't' see you making any money or working hard! You have to listen to me. About that baby, leave her where you found her we don't need her being a trouble." He said belligerently. Zariel's lower lip started to tremble. Why was he yelling at her like this? Why did he just have to say that? Make her feel useless when he knows she can't work anywhere?
Clutching the baby tightly against her chest, she started to turn around. But he caught her arm.
"I-I'm sorry. I had a rough day. Don't let what I said hurt you. It isn't your fault you can't get a job. I'm so sorry. Keep the baby until we can find her…" He stopped briefly, then said," her rightful guardian. Just don't let her become a burden. As long as she's here, she is your responsibility. I don't want to have to do anything with her." He finished in a cold tone, retreating to his couch to relax and wait for dinner. Ignoring his tone of voice, she eagerly nodded.
Looking down at Sakura, Zariel said, "My darling"
………………………………………………….
Sakura's POV:
I woke up with a start. What kind of whacked dream was that? I took a deep breath and ignored it, hoping it was just a crazy random dream. Pulling the cherry blossom fleece blanket closer to me, I peeked outside the window. It was raining. Rain. Again. The familiar prickle of sensation and temptation rustled restlessly underneath me. I gave in.
Getting up from my bed, I opened the window. Soft, steady rain could be heard. I inhaled and closed my eyes, the fresh smell of rain. People say I'm crazy, that I can smell rain. But, I do. People say I'm weird, that I love to dance in the rain. But, I do. Creeping downstairs, I grabbed my raincoat that I had gotten as a present from Mom. Just Mom. Dad never gets me anything. I have a feeling he never liked me much. In that odd dream too, he didn't like me. Is there a time when he did? I shook my head of those thoughts. I didn't want think about those right now when the rain had come to visit me.
Opening the door carefully to avoid making any sounds, I walked outside. Twirling myself, I smiled heavenward where all the rain was coming from.
Then the music started. A song many dancers can't hear. But one the rain played every time. The rhythm caught me. The soft beat of the rain falling and splashing against the road. Ending their long journey from the sky. I was going to fly now. In the sky too, amongst the rain. Soon my arms and legs were moving on their own. Freely. I was a free bird.
While I dance, I never know exactly what I am doing. It's like I sleepwalk. I forget everything the next morning how to dance. But, with this melody, my body does it's own thing.
The only thing I knew right now, were the feelings that flowed through me. Familiarity. A familiarity that I don't feel with my dad or even my mom. Just a close familiarity. Love. A love so strong, that I can't contain, so while my body stretches it flows through my veins and keeps me alive.
Curiosity. I am curious to know why I do this. Why I feel as if I know something, yet it's so far away to reach and comprehend. Reluctantly, I let go of thoughts. I was all soul and dance.
Slowly, my movements died down with the ending melody. I was done. I always knew when I was done. I always got a sense of completion and satisfaction that I never have with myself.
Stopping in graceful position, I smiled. A smile of many emotions, most of which I can't identify.
Standing once straight, as if nothing happened, I heard a loud honk. I turned and my eyes widened. I hadn't realized I was dancing in the middle of the road. I was so dumb!
A sleek silver Mercedes looked at me. I was frozen as what to do.
The door opened abruptly and someone got out. He looked only a couple years older than me.
I bit my lip. I was just frozen. What was I supposed to do now? I don't know why, but I couldn't just leave. Usually if some stranger saw me, I ran away immediately. But, now for some reason I didn't know what to do. I was standing there like a deer caught in headlights.
His matted wet chestnut banks fell into his amber eyes, and I felt myself melting. This wasn't just anyone. This was handsome Syaoran Li, of the powerful Li clan from China. A pretty famous track runner and hurdle jumper. Wanted by thousand girls. Wouldn't be surprising to know that I just might one of those many girls. A celebrity crush. I couldn't help it. Heat flooded my face. What was he doing here at this time? What was I?
Then he did something I would never expect, from anyone after just watching me dance like crazy. At least not sincerely. He smiled. My knees went weak. I thought I would die from shock. I looked up at him and pushed the wet hair out of my eyes. I smiled back, meekly. What else could I do?
He took a step closer and I took one back. Then, I turned around and ran for home. Really and again, what else could I do?
My hair flew freely around my face. I must of lost my ribbons. My cherry blossom ribbons. I wanted to go back and look for them. I loved them too much to let them go easily. But, that's what I did.
Because I didn't even want to look behind myself. What if he was still there? And was he looking at me oddly, like I was an alien, in that way everyone else saw me? I didn't want to turn around. He had smiled. Smiled at me that I was crazy or because he actually liked my dance? I didn't know. And now I knew, that somehow the 'me' that doesn't care about what people think, now cared about what he was thinking currently. He was my celebrity crush. I admired him. His determination. When he fell, he always got back up. He wasn't ashamed. He just tried again. That's just what I loved.
Some stranger. Affecting me in ways without even a single word.
Grabbing on to the door handle, I stumbled inside gasping. An unpleasant site awaited me.
"Where the hell were you? I decide to check up on how my daughter is doing, and I find you missing? What do you think of yourself, by sneaking off like that?" His voice was dominating, intimidating but he never once scared me like he did everyone else. I wouldn't let him.
"I went out." I said curtly in a manner that let him know where I went wasn't his business. When was it ever? It stopped when he stopped loving his own daughter.
"To where? And in the middle of the night? Is this how you repay us for giving everything you've ever wanted? All that shit? No one the Kinomoto house will behave like this. Why, and for what despicable reason, have you?" Answers, answers, answers, everyone wanted answers, yet I didn't have them! So why even bother asking me?
"Daddy, I didn't go anywhere. I just went outside for a walk." I lied through my teeth. I was good at this. Lying. Either that or that I was so bad, that people never bothered to ask again.
"In the middle of the night?" He repeated softly. Softly? Like in a concerned way? I gave him credit for this. Does this mean he was worried about me? That he cares? Nah. That would be too hard for him, I thought sarcastically, to care about someone like me.
"Do you know how bad that would look on your mom's campaign to be president of Nicc'e? That her daughter was found lurking around the street at an unreasonable hour? And you know how media is, they will make rumors about you and it will be a disgrace to our family! What if they call you a-a-a…" He stammered. My hopes died down instantly. He got me. Using mother's campaign to become president of the make-up company, Nicc'e. What a cheap trick! He knew now I felt guilty. I loved Mom, and would never want something to harm anything that made her happy. And this was all over a damn outing.
Besides, he just basically said he didn't care what happened to me. Just Mom and Touya. It was always 'Touya this, your mother this,'. I had gotten used to it. Although what made this occasion so special that I actually thought he, cared, a tiny bit for his daughter? I don't know. I didn't even know why he disliked me so much. I stopped thinking about things like that. But, when you were least expecting things, they like to creep up behind you, ruin your peaceful carefree feeling, and plague you once more again. Like for instance when you're sitting on your bed unable to fall asleep, you start to think about all those creepy creatures hiding and scare yourself. It happens all the time. I don't like it.
Because I don't really enjoy being plagued when I was still breathing and alive. And now thinking about, I wouldn't want it when I'm dead either.
"Well, are you going to talk? Or am I going to have to tell everyone how you became mute?" He demanded.
"I took a walk. That's all. Around the lawn. One of my oddities." I replied boredly hanging my coat up in the closet. My 'oddities' were used to describe most of the things I do. Because I was weird. I was a freak. So, people think the things I do can't be controlled by me. It's like saying to everyone, 'I'm a freak and I can't help it. So leave me alone and don't make fun of me.'
Not usually what I wanted to say to people, but how else could I get them off my case easily? I used the coward way off. But I not like I cared really, and didn't Helen Keller say that "Rather keep quiet and look stupid, then explain and look like a fool," I think that's how it went, I don't know the entire thing perfectly. Perfect. That word gives me the creeps.
He stared at me for awhile almost glaring, I couldn't really tell because the only light we had was the moonlight from the window, then he said, "I'll just ignore the gasping you were doing when you entered the house then?"
"Uh…okay so I ran a bit too." I added as if this was some test I had to finish before I could be let free.
He looked at me skeptically, then said, "I don't know if I can trust you anymore. How do I know what your doing?" I was supposed to deny his fact and make him believe and trust in me. But, why should I ?
"You don't." I knew I was making this complicated. I could literally feel that tangling web I was creating. And I wanted out, now. Enough, so much that it had me confused why 'oddities' hadn't shut him up yet.
He stiffened at my response. "You dirty little bitch." He whispered, not for me to hear, but I did anyways. He has called me many things, but never had he called me a bitch. Why was he making such a big deal out of this little thing? I didn't want it! This conversation was taking a dangerous turn and I didn't want to drive there alone.
I blinked calmly, when inside that wasn't true. This was another thing I was quite talented with. Hiding emotions of weakness.
"How dare you say that to me!" He bellowed loudly, almost shaking the house.
I didn't flinch. I wouldn't give him that satisfaction of knowing his demeanor affected me.
"I know. Every fucking time it rains, at this time of night you disappear. To do what? Don't explain your oddities. I don't believe them! Why do you do these things? You have money. You have a family. Why are you acting like your mother! Every day when I look at you, you make me feel so disgusted! Acting the way she does, and dancing! Don't deny it! She did too…" he said softly. I shuddered now. He was crazy. I didn't know what he was talking about. Mom and dancing and whatever?
"Huh?" I asked blankly confused.
"Don't 'huh' me! I don't want to hear it! I just want to know why you look so damn much like her! It's so annoying. A constant reminder of our love that died." His voice suddenly grew dreamy and distant, as if he was telling a fairy tale to little girl, "You know it was love at first site. We both were poor, but once set eyes on each other; we couldn't take 'em off… " Tears starting to form in his eyes. "Your mother was so beautiful. Just like you." By then I wasn't too confused. Okay so he was going to lecture me now? But then he said the words. They changed all, me, and my life.
"Her auburn hair and jade eyes. Cheerful trails. Smiles that made my heart melt and me so vulnerable yet made me feel so strong. How I loved her. So much, so much." I was taken aback. What was talking about? Mom didn't look like that. She had raven black hair and hazel eyes. That meant…that meant…I didn't dare to even admit this possibility to myself. How could I be sure he wasn't just crazy?
"But I had Zariel too. She was wonderful, but couldn't work anywhere. See, my darling had a charge against her. She was a main suspect for the murder of her brother. But, she hadn't murdered him. No. Although no one would let her work for them because of that taint on her essence. Then Kira, my daughter died of a fever. My lovely daughter. My poor baby." His eyes were glazed. He didn't seem to talking to me. Just talking aimlessly. Right. This was nothing. He doesn't talk like this to me. All this was stupid junk. From…oh I don't know where the fuck he came up with this shit!
"Your mother, Nadeshiko. Her laughter was music to my ears. I longed for her. She loved me too. It was great. We kept it a secret from Zariel, you know? We couldn't tell her. I couldn't. It would break her heart." By then he was sobbing. I was too. I was scared. I wasn't afraid to show it now either. I bit my lip and waited. Nadeshiko? My mother? I didn't know exactly what to believe; better yet, what to think.
He hiccupped. "Then we had you. I didn't always hate you so much." I choked on hysterical laughter. So I was right. He did hate me. Great, he just admitted it too. " You were just the sweetest bundle of joy, lighting up rooms with your toothless smiles like your mother did. During the day it was you and Nadeshiko, and in the evenings and nights it was Zariel and Touya. I loved every moment of it. Except the fear of getting caught. I didn't want that. But, there was a thrill in keeping the secret." He smiled sadly, and vaguely. It creeped me out. I had the chills.
He continued and I didn't dare to interrupt either. "All I learned was that my love was keeping a secret from me too. I had never before asked her how she got money, no matter how little she had. Then I found out."
"She was a hooker, a slut, a dirty little play bunny. I was disgusted. I overreacted I guess, because I told her how dirty she was. And I said horrible things. They were so horrible, she killed herself. It was my fault, Sakura. All my fault. I killed her. " He heaved. I put my arms around my dad, awkwardly. I didn't know what to do.
" I came home that night shaken. Then I found your mother
holding a baby in her arms. You were that baby in her arms. I couldn't stand to look at you. How everyday you became a spitting image of her. I can't take it anymore." He looked up to the ceiling and screamed, something that almost deafened my existence, " So why are you doing this to me Nadeshiko? Why must you torture me with your daughter? Why….?" He broke away from my hold and was crying on the floor. A grown man, shaken and roughed by tears. Suddenly he got up. He looked fiercely angry.
"Go away! I don't want to see your face ever again." When I didn't move he produced a pocket knife and held it threateningly over my face.
"I will torture you like you tortured me.. Stop hurting me!" He screamed and sobbed. I was scared. My breath came in few gasps. Just a few minutes ago I was worrying about my cherry blossom ribbons. Now I might even die. Die. Death. Foreign words entering my private territories.
It felt like light years had passed in those few moments. I counted each second, each tear that rolled down our faces, and each thought that passed through my mind that made me feel confused, as I have never been before.
"Stop it Fujitaka! What are you doing? Drop the knife or I'll call the police!" I whipped my head to look at the speaker. It was Mom. Or now Zariel. Had she heard everything? Judging by hear blotchy face, I decided she had.
Immediately he dropped it and panicked. "Zariel, I was joking. I didn't threaten her. Don't call the police. I didn't do anything. I am a good person. I didn't kill her. I didn't cheat on you. I didn't do anything!" He shouted frustradedly. Zariel walked over to me and pulled me close to her.
We were both shaking and I couldn't tell whose tears were who's. I buried myself in her embrace wishing so bad none of this happened. But hard as I wished, I knew the truth had finally dawned on us. Like the rising sun. Yet burning all of us. I fcould feel the scorching rays. I hurt so much. I didn't know anyone could hurt that much. But, I did. Tears were all I had now. I was a no one. Really. I kept on crying. That's when I heard sirens and saw that Touya had already called the police. I looked up at my brother-now half brother, his face stoic and unemotional. I couldn't read what he was feeling.
What was going to happen now? I didn't want to think about. All I could remember later was the silence. As the police came in and asked me questions. I answered, me being lost somewhere else. Turning my head outside, I saw it was till raining. Rain.
(A/N: Review! Please! Tell me what ya'll think!)