Family Portrait
A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed. As always I appreciate the feedback, please keep it up. I'll just get on with it seeing as you all want to read what happens next. Enjoy and tell me what you think!
Chapter 8: Emotional Damage
Paris Gellar held the phone to her ear listening to the endless rings as she waited for Lane to answer the phone. Tristan rocked Rory in his arms protectively trying to calm her down. Paris was unsure of whether he knew the trigger to Rory's emotional break-down that had been four years in the making, or maybe four days. She had been there when Rory had Liza, when she pushed Jess away. She had seen the stress that had been dropped on her as she handled the pregnancy and then raising a child on her own. Finally, when Lane picked up Paris tore her eyes away from the two on the floor of the gas station shop. "Lane. Hi."
Paris?" Lane sounded surprised, "What's up?"
"It's Rory," Paris' voice was softened as she said Rory's name.
"Oh. No." Lane knew what had happened.
"Yeah," Paris nodded to herself, "We stopped for gas and she came inside. When I came in to pay she was crying and Tristan was hugging her."
"Tristan?" there was something indefinable in Lane's tone, it might've been irony.
"Yeah, we kind of ran into him again," Paris explained, "She doesn't look good Lane. When we left her grandmother asked if everything was alright. Rory drank wine during lunch."
"Oh, god," Lane sighed, "Did you tell her?"
"No, I can see Emily Gilmore marching down to Star's Hollow," Paris laughed lightly at the image. Lane did too.
"Where exactly are you?" Lane wondered, "Do you want Dave and me to drive up?"
"No, no I don't think it's necessary," Paris now looked back to Rory, "I don't think it would help."
"Okay," Lane sounded slightly disappointed, "I wish I could help. Call me if anything else happens. Do you need me to tell Lorelai?"
"I don't know," Paris bit her lip, "I don't think there's any need to worry her more."
"You're right," Lane agreed, "You better get back to her. Bye."
"Bye," Paris shut off her phone and approached Rory and Tristan. "Hey," she nudged him lightly. Tristan looked up at Paris before standing.
"She...she just..." Tristan stammered. Paris looked at him confused and then realized he thought she blamed him for this mess Rory seemed to be in.
"God, Tristan," Paris rolled her eyes and stooped down to where Rory sat crying, her face covered with her hands, "Don't get over-paranoid. I know what's happening."
"You do?" Tristan raised an eyebrow, "Care to tell me then? I only caught bits and pieces about Liza's father."
He was in Stars Hollow," Paris elaborated, "Helping his uncle and Lorelai around the diner. They've been busy with Lucas and Lorelai's pregnancy. Rory didn't know and she ran into him at her mother's while they were having dinner with him. Liza was upstairs so he figured it out. Rory told him it all and then he told her he had a girlfriend. The next morning the aforementioned girlfriend and her sister showed up at the diner."
"God," Tristan breathed. Paris nodded. As they sat in silence Rory continuing her break-down Jamie entered the looking for them. He saw the three of them on the floor and rushed over. Paris stood up right away and met him half-way to Rory.
"What's happened?" Jamie asked worriedly.
"She lost it," Paris shrugged, "We all knew it was coming. Where's Liza?"
"In the car," Jamie clarified, "She's playing with Boo."
"Okay," Paris nodded and led Jamie over to where Tristan still sat with Rory, "Jamie this is Tristan. Tristan, Jamie." Jamie and Tristan nodded their hellos.
"Want me to take her to the car?" Jamie wondered.
"N-not...t-to...the car," Rory hiccoughed in between sobs, "I-I don't want...Liza...to..." Paris and Jamie nodded in understanding even though Rory hadn't finished her sentence. She didn't want Liza to see her like this.
"Rory, you have to though," Paris helped Rory stand up; "We need to get home."
"I'll take her," Tristan offered. Paris looked at Tristan sceptically.
"Don't you need to go home yourself?" Paris wondered.
"No," Tristan lied, "No classes." Paris shrugged and turned to Rory for her response. She just nodded slowly. Accepting Rory's decision Paris returned to the car while Jamie and Tristan helped Rory to Tristan's car. Paris, sitting in the driver's seat watched as Rory sat in passenger's seat of the car and stared out the window. Paris could tell she was hardly aware of what was happening around her. Her mind and heart was with Jess.
"Pa-ris," Liza sang from the back seat, "Where's Momma going?"
"She's riding home with a friend," Paris explained, "You'll see her at home."
"But I wanna go with Momma," Liza whined. Paris closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It was going to be a long ride home. Jamie got back in the car next to Liza in the back seat and tried to read some more to her but Liza pouted and turned her head away refusing to look at the book or Jamie. "I want Mommy!"
"How about chocolate?" Jamie wondered holding out a bag of M&M's he had found in the back pack. Lorelai had probably slipped it in earlier. Liza whipped her head around and eyes wide tried to grab at the chocolate.
"Chocolate!" she shouted gleefully, "Chocolate Jamie, chocolate!" Jamie smiled joyfully and handed Liza the newly opened bag who in turn accepted it eagerly. "Red, Blue, Grween," Liza named off each color as she placed then slowly one by one into her mouth.
(In Tristan's Car.)
Tristan watched Rory from the corner of his eye as he drove. Rory was not there though, not the Rory he knew and loved. Of course he knew more than ever now that if he had ever had a chance with Rory he had lost it long, long ago. Her heart now belonged solely to the father of her daughter. The man, who had broken her heart in so many pieces this weekend, caused his Mary to be turned into this stranger sitting next to him.
Gradually he noticed that Rory became uninterested in the world outside and now stared at her hands in her lap. The sparkle that had once been in her eye was gone and now she was pale and her eyes rimmed with red from crying. He took one had off the steering wheel and placed them on one of her hands squeezing her it gently. Rory glanced quickly at him and forced a smile. Tristan frowned. That wasn't what he had wanted to accomplish, he wanted her to feel comforted not feel as if she needed to pretend, to force herself into happiness. A lot had happened to his Mary since he left for military school, a whole lot.
They drove on in silence. Tristan didn't bother to turn on the radio and risk the chance of more painful memories being dragged up for the sombre girl. Tristan remembered a time when there was never a dull moment between the two he had always been able to get her to bicker with him, or at least have a half-decent conversation of which he would ruin by mocking her. "You didn't have to do this," Rory muttered almost inaudibly looking at him once more.
"Yes, I did," Tristan corrected her, "I did." Rory once again turned away and stared at her hands, remaining silent.
(Back in Stars Hollow.)
Lane slipped her cell phone back into her pocket and ignored the curious looks she got from Dave and Lorelai who had been sitting not too far off. She walked past the two of them heading towards the Gilmore-Danes house. The last pieces of Rory's façade had been lifted and now she was a mess from what Paris had told her. Lane had known this was coming, had been thinking about it since Kate walked into the diner earlier that morning but at the moment she almost wished she hadn't known or been expecting this. Lane worried about Liza and how this would affect her either now or in the future how long Rory would be like this and what would happen. One thing that struck Lane as odd was that Tristan had been there when it happened. Just a couple of hours before Rory's emotional break down Lorelai had been planning a hoax relationship with Rory and Tristan at the center of it and then over in a gas station as Rory's last bit of strength to keep her sadness under wraps slipped away Tristan had been there with her. It was all one big ongoing coincidence.
The three of them now stood on the porch of the house saying goodbye for the evening as Lane and Dave headed over to the Kim residence before returning to the Inn. Lane hugged Lorelai tightly wishing she could bring herself to tell Lorelai what had happened to Rory, but she couldn't. Paris had been right; Lorelai had too much to worry about what with the twins on their way and Lucas still too little for Lorelai to ship off to Stars Hollow Elementary. Plus, it would just give Lorelai another reason to murder Jess. As she pulled out from her hug with Lorelai she noticed Jess standing in the doorway of the house, Lucas in his arms. She forced a smile in his direction and then looked at Lucas. Suddenly the memory that Jess was supposed to take care of Liza the next day came flying back. She tried to remember what time she had asked Jess to be there and what time Rory started her first class. She knew that Rory would under no circumstances miss a day of classes just because of an emotional break-down. Rory wasn't like that she would just pull herself together, put on another mask and head back out into the world. That was Rory Gilmore now, but Lane remembered a time when Rory had been truly happy without the mask. "Lane," Dave pulled her back to reality, "We better get going. I know you don't want to spend longer than necessary at your mother's"
"Yeah," Lane nodded at her boyfriend taking his hand, "Bye Lorelai, Jess, Bye Lucas!"
"BUH!" Lucas waved. Lane smiled sweetly at the two year old and followed Dave off the porch and towards Mama Kim's.
Within fifteen minutes Lane was forced to once again stop thinking about Rory and her problem and listen to everything that was going on. Mama Kim was fussing over her saying that she was becoming too American with her clothes, music and boyfriend. Lane then found her thoughts wandering again, but this time she wasn't thinking about Rory she was thinking about her and Dave. When Mama Kim had finally found out about the band she had been infuriated and even threatened to send her away to boarding school in Korea. It wasn't until Dave actually got a say in the band and then his relationship with Lane that Mama Kim calmed down. Mrs. Kim had some sort of respect for Dave, maybe it was because that she thought he was Christian enough, or because Dave was genuinely likable, but Mama Kim did calm down. Lane was slightly jealous of Dave for being able to make her mother listen but she had just been happy that she and Dave were able to continue their relationship more openly. It was very complicated though, too complicated for Lane. She and Dave had broken up for a span of two weeks "for the band." They had fought about some stupid thing but soon enough they were back together and Lane didn't care if she was never to date another guy again, she loved Dave. Kind of like Paris loved Jamie and Rory loved Jess. Well, maybe the Rory/Jess situation was more complicated than hers and Dave's in fact more complicated. That was when Lane's though drifted back to her best friend.
(At Rory, Paris and Jamie's apartment in New Haven
Paris flung open the door to the apartment and stepped in moving out of the doorway for Jamie to carry the sleeping Liza in. Rory and Tristan were not far behind them. They had taken a detour and stopped for supper on the way home. Rory had been able to pull herself together by that time but had remained silent all through the meal. Jamie placed Liza on the couch for the time being and headed into the kitchen to brew some coffee for the rest of them, specifically Rory. As Rory entered the house she went directly to the single couch and curled up on it resting her head on the arm rest. Tristan stood uncomfortable in the room waiting for someone to say something to him. "Sit Tristan," Paris finally ordered.
"I don't know," Tristan rubbed the back of his neck nervously, "I think maybe I should head home."
"Where exactly is home?" Jamie wondered from the kitchen.
"Boston," Tristan revealed.
"Stay here," Rory whispered into the couch, "Boston's too far."
"I couldn't," Tristan shook his head, "I'd be intruding."
"No," Rory shook her head, "You can stay in Liza's room. I'll put her in my bed."
"You sure?" Tristan asked. Paris could tell that he was really tired and that he didn't feel like driving all the way to Boston.
"Yeah," Rory nodded smiling slightly. Both Paris and Tristan recognized it as the friendly smile Rory had often offered both of them back in high school when they had been on friendly terms.
"Okay then," Tristan grinned, "I could always stay on the couch though."
"Don't be ridiculous," Jamie waved him off handing Rory a cup of coffee, "Liza sleeps with Rory half the time anyways."
"Well, if it's not too much trouble," Tristan shrugged. Paris laughed shaking her head and took a cup of coffee from Jamie who had gone into the kitchen and returned with two more cups. The other he handed to Tristan who refused thanking Jamie though. Paris looked over to Rory who was fingering the top of her coffee cup staring into the black liquid in the cup and then her gaze fell back on Tristan who she had not seen since High School. She remembered that for the longest time she had had a crush on him. He had been the initial trigger to her hating Rory.
"I'm going to bed," Rory rose from the couch sipping the last of her coffee, "Night."
"Good night Rory," they all muttered watching her pick up Liza and head off to her room. Then slowly the three others followed each heading to their respectable rooms. Jamie showed Tristan where he was going to spend the night before heading off to sleep.
(The Next Day.)
Rory opened her eyes slowly as her alarm broke through the silence of the morning. Liza was still sound asleep next to her. As Rory's mind began to wake up the occurrences of the previous night came flooding back. She sat up in bed and noticed Tristan leaning against her doorway, watching her. She half-smiled at him and pushed her covers back stepping out of the warmth the bed offered her making sure not to disturb the sleeping four-year old. "Good morning," she greeted almost cheerfully, "Sleep well?"
"That bed is small," Tristan revealed, "But I managed." Rory caught Tristan's sly grin as she walked past into the hall. He hadn't changed all that much since High School.
"You always do," Rory said playfully sending him a wink, "Close the door for me please. I don't want her up yet." Tristan nodded shutting the door to the bedroom and thinking about how much 'his Mary' had changed before following Rory to the kitchen where Paris and Jamie already sat eating their breakfast. They nodded their good mornings as Rory poured herself a fresh cup of coffee.
"Feeling better Gilmore?" Paris wondered, "We've got that presentation today."
"You won't let me forget," Rory reminded her friend, "Yes I'm better, and I'm ready." Paris nodded still unsure. Tristan stood watching the three interact.
"You do remember that I've got that interview right?" Jamie wondered. Rory nodded.
"Sure, and Jess will be here to watch Liza," Rory's voice faltered as she mentioned Jess' name, "I'll be fine."
"Great," Paris smiled, "Then you won't mind if Jamie picks me up from school? We're going out. You'll have to relieve Jess of his fatherly duties." Something flickered in Rory's eyes as Paris said this.
"Yeah, sure," She turned away as he eyes began to water slightly. She didn't want anyone else to notice that she was still vulnerable. They all knew though. Rory then noticed Tristan shifting uncomfortable in his spot looking around the kitchen.
"Bread and cereal are in that cupboard," she pointed to the door behind Tristan, "Take anything you like and stay as long as you want." Tristan nodded thankfully as he filed through the cupboard. Rory shook her head as a smile reappeared on her face. She ducked under Tristan's arms making room for herself to fit and grabbed Liza's cereal of the shelf. Tristan looked at her sceptically. "Can't help it," Rory shrugged, "I'm hooked."
(Outside the apartment.)
Jess was early, he knew it. Somehow he hadn't been able to wait to get here and yet now that he was here he wished that he had waited. He heard the faint voices of people inside the apartment. At least he knew he wouldn't be waking anyone up. Running his hands through his hair he lifted his closed fist to knock on the door but dropped it back to his side in mid air. He tried this again but failed. He knew that the minute he walked through that door he would officially become a father. Maybe not to Liza or Rory but to himself because he knew that he would have an obligation to himself to give this girl a father. He didn't want her to grow up not knowing her father like it had been for him. He wanted to be there, to see this little girl grow into a beautiful woman like her mother had been, still was.
Finally, mustering up his courage, Jess knocked on the door once. He waited a few seconds and heard a voice approaching. He immediately recognized as Rory's. The door swung open revealing Rory her hair tied up in a messy pony tail, still wearing her baby-blue pyjamas. Looking past her Jess saw Jamie and Paris in the kitchen looking their way and another man whom Jess did not recognize. "Hey, you're early," Rory pointed out. She was smiling but Jess noticed her eyes weren't twinkling as he remembered they used to when she smiled at him.
"I know," Jess shrugged trying to sound nonchalant, "Just wanted to miss the traffic."
"Well, come in," Rory opened the door wider and stepped back allowing Jess to enter, "We're just eating breakfast. Liza's still sleeping." Jess nodded and stuffed his hands in his pocket looking around the rather large apartment. They entered the kitchen and Jess inspected this room as well. It looked rather neat as opposed to Lorelai and Luke's kitchen back in Stars Hollow. Very unlike a Gilmore girl, then again Paris lived here as well.
"Hey Jess," Jamie greeted. Jess nodded hello and noticed Paris remained quiet focusing on the newspaper article she was reading. He knew Paris didn't quite like him much, or anyone for that matter.
"Oh Jess, this is Tristan," Rory pointed to the stranger, "He went to Chilton for a while before his father sent him off to Military school. Tristan this is Jess. You two have quite a bit in common including a great disliking of Dean." Jess and Tristan shook hands. Just then Liza entered the kitchen rubbing sleep from her eyes and dragging Boo behind her.
"Momma..." but she trailed off she noticed Jess standing in the kitchen. She smiled brightly at him and chirped, "Jess!"
"Hey kid," Jess waved, "Looks like we're spending the day together." Liza nodded enthusiastically.
"I'm going to get ready for class," Rory announced kissing her daughter's head, "Later Jess, Tristan." Rory exited the room, followed by Paris and Jamie leaving Tristan, Liza and Jess alone.
"Twistan is still here too!" Liza said pointing to Tristan, "You staying too?"
"Nope," Tristan shook his head, "Got to get back to Boston."
"That's were Grampa lives," Liza informed them, "With the wicked witch and Georgia."
"Wicked witch?" Jess and Tristan wondered.
"Uh-huh," Liza nodded, "That's what Grams calls her."
"Figures," Jess shrugged and turned to Tristan, "So, you didn't like Bag Boy?"
"Farmer Brown?" Tristan inquired, "No."
"He's a jerk," Jess stated. Tristan nodded in agreement. Silence ensued as Liza made her way to her mother's half-empty cereal bowl and began to eat.
Tristan watched Jess. So, this was the man who stole Rory's heart from Dean and then broke it. He could see a resemblance between him and Liza. Tristan envied Jess though. He had gotten Rory. Something Tristan and tried long and hard to do. He had been the one who swept Rory for Dean and took him out of the picture. Jess was the one who had her love now and forever. Tristan found himself not minding as much as he thought he would. He was content being Rory's friend, especially after the previous day.
Paris, Rory and Jamie returned primped and ready for the day ahead of them. Rory and Paris said good bye grabbing their book bags and fled out the door, Tristan not far behind them needing to get back to Boston that day. Jamie after giving Jess a tour of the house and instructions on when Liza was to eat and so on was off for the day as well. Jess looked around the apartment and then at his four year old daughter. This was it. It was time for him to become a father to this little girl. He hoped to god he did well.