Very Late June 24th
This vacation is sort of turning out like being in Stoneybrook, except with new people. And Disneyland, party at Maggie's, movies with Carol, it's all about the same. Except... no Disneyland, not a party at a Hollywood mansion, and I wouldn't have been with Carol.
So... maybe it's not the same, but oh well.
Yesterday we went to the beach again. I went surfing, but no more surfing buddies or wild rides. But it was fun, and I hadn't forgotten much of what I learned the last time. It was cool. I couldn't do that in Stoneybrook.
Right now, if I were in Stoneybrook I wouldn't be at a parentless house with Kristy, Sunny, and Ducky and Ducky's brother. It's actually Ducky's house, but his parents don't live here. They live somewhere in Ghandi or Ghana or something, and he lives here with his brother.
So mom would freak if she knew I was here like this. Not that anything is going on. We've just been up talking and eating pizza. (well, they ate pizza, I had had vegetables and sugar free applesauce because we didn't know how much sugar was in the pizza sauce and it's not worth the risk with my diabetes) But then again, there's the topics we talked about that my mom would faint to think that I knew about, let alone have done. I don't apologize for the things I've done, but I'd prefer if my mother didn't know about them.
Ducky's car was out of gas and he didn't have any money, so he invited us over just to hang out and watch movies or whatever. Almost everyone had plans. Claudia was going out with Rico on their first real date, Dawn was doing something with her family, and Mary Anne was going along, even though Dawn and Mary Anne are sort of fighting, I think. Things are tense. I don't know about the rest of Dawn's friends, I think Maggie had some movie premiere or something (which is really fresh in itself).
Anyway, off to Ducky's and we made pizza and I chopped carrots and broccoli for myself.
"Surprising that it's not covered in mold," Ducky quipped. "Ted isn't the biggest fan of cleaning out the fridge, and well... me either."
"This milk is bad," Kristy said, wrinkling her nose at the open carton of milk. She threw it away. "Smells like lunch at SMS."
"Yuck," I said.
"Lunches at Vista aren't bad. It's better at the high school than at the middle school," Sunny said. "As Dawn would say "the vegetarian meal is better than the meals with those cow carcasses.""
I feel sort of bad, but I laugh anyway.
"You mean people out here eat meat?" Kristy asked. "Because Dawn always gave me the impression that every single person who live in California are vegetarians."
"There are tons of meat-eaters out here. Dawn just wishes that everyone would save the cows. Ducky eats all kinds of meat, don't you?" Sunny said, looking to Ducky.
He holds up the bowl of hamburger he's defrosting. "Mmmm, meat. A manly man's best friend."
We all crack up, but then Sunny looks at Ducky in a very sharp way.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," he replied, not sounding fine, even to my hardly knowing himness.
"No, you're not," Sunny said in a very matter-of-fact tone. "What's up?"
"Nada. Set the oven to 325, will you?"
"Nada? Ducky, tell me."
I sort of grabbed Kristy. "We can go into the other room, if you guys want some privacy," I said, backing out of the kitchen.
"No," Ducky said. "It's okay."
I stopped. I was really hoping he'd say that, because I was dying to know what was going on. I could tell Kristy did too, and she would have stood there if I hadn't moved her. She's only just that tactful.
"Sunny, you weren't there when Justin came out," Ducky said.
"No, but I heard about it," she replied. "Maggie told me."
"When he said that, something happened. Something..."
Sunny paused and suddenly seemed to catch onto the fact that Ducky's completely gay. Didn't I mention that on the day we arrived? Of course I did. Maybe it was just my outside point of view and Sunny was too close.
"You're... bi?" Sunny said.
"I'm something," Ducky said. "I don't know. I've never really liked girls or anyone, but when Justin came out, I felt something really weird."
"Like you have a crush on Justin?" Kristy blurted out.
I could have smacked her. Kristy is so tactless.
Ducky didn't look shocked, in fact, he looked a little but more surprised that it was a near stranger who said it instead of Sunny, but it seemed that Sunny just couldn't say it. He shrugged and sort of smiled. "I guess that's what I'm trying to say. And to top it off, I sort of think that Justin might... like me too."
"This is too weird," Sunny said. "You know me, Ducky, I'm all for being with whoever you want, but... I've never even thought about it. And it's a little shocking. Not being gay, but, that you. Are."
"It's okay, Sunny," he said. "I'm still sort of working through it. I don't even know what I am. I never do."
She gave him a hug. "You're still my Ducky, right?"
He grinned. "Right."
"Then what are we talking about? We have a pizza to fix!"
Okay, my hand hurts. I'll be back.
Very Early June 25th
Everyone is asleep, I'm still at Ducky's. Sunny told Dawn that if anyone asks, we're at her house. Dawn's Dad is a little weird about Ducky, and I'm sure there's a big long story about it, but I don't know what it is.
Anyway, we ate our pizza and vegetables and holed up in Ducky's room because his brother came home and made cracks about Ducky's harem and then started hitting on me. We excused ourselves quickly to Ducky's room.
Sunny and Ducky were leaning against each other on his bed, and I was against the wall. Kristy wasn't on the bed, but sitting backwards in a desk chair. I brought my leftover veggies with us and we were snacking on them.
"So," Sunny said, "it turns out the upperclassmen think I'm a slut. And there's this rumor that I went down on Brock what's his face that I went out with on one date. But if there was any guy I would, it would have been him. Sagebrush Grille? Hello, yes."
"Sunny," Ducky said. "You're kidding me, right? You would have?"
"Maybe."
"What's, uh..." Kristy started.
"Going down?" Sunny said. "It's when you suck a guy's penis to get him off."
"Ew."
Sunny laughed. "I don't think it's that's bad. I've never done it and I don't know anyone who has. Maybe I should talk to the upperclasswomen. I'll bet they know."
"It's not horrible," I said. I could have shot myself. I've never told ANYONE that I've done this, not even Claudia. And here I was, telling people I barely knew and Kristy.
Every head turned to me.
"What?" Sunny asked, her eyes glowing. "You've gone down on a guy?"
"Yeah, it's not that bad. Not wonderful, but... you know." I was probably blushing like a red balloon.
"Who?" Kristy the tact queen asked.
"Ethan," I replied. "And..." I was then unable to look at her. I stared at Ducky's bed.
"Oh my Lord, no," she said. "Not..."
"Yeah," I muttered.
"Who?" Ducky asked.
"Sam. Kristy's older brother."
"Oooh!" Ducky and Sunny cried in unison.
"Just once!" I defended. "On Sam. Twice on Ethan. But it didn't help either relationship last, so it's not anything to use for that motive. I've never done anything further than that."
Kristy looked like she was going to puke, and Ducky and Sunny enjoyed the gossip. Sunny wanted the details, and Ducky tried to get her to leave me alone, but I could tell he was as gossipy as she was.
"You guys have to promise not to tell anyone," I said. "I've never told anyone about it, and I swore Sam to secrecy, so that's why SHS doesn't think I'm a big slut and easy."
"Believe me, I won't think about it," Kristy muttered.
"Scout's Honor," Ducky promised.
Sunny didn't promise, she gave me a very long look. "What does it taste like?"
Ducky hit her with a pillow. "You can't ask that!"
Kristy covered her face and I was blushing again, but I tried to give a mature response.
"We, uh, used condoms. It tasted like mint. Rubbery mint."
Sunny and Ducky started laughing and this time so did Kristy, and I joined them.
"Honestly," I continued, "it's not a huge deal."
"Whatever," Sunny said.
We went into Ducky's parents' room where they have a TV and dvd player and watched some godawful horror movie, and we threw around stories from camp, and our childhoods (childrenhood?) and stuff. Sunny sort of stayed out of it, I guess not wanting to talk about her Mom. Finally, around 11:30, we go to bed, deciding to just stay the night, rather than walk home in the dark (Dawn's house is very quickly becoming "home").
Kristy and I stayed in Ducky's parents' room, and Sunny and Ducky shared his bed, after Ducky gave us some clothes to sleep in. I was out in the living room writing, but Ted came out and starting putting on his suave moves in his t-shirt and boxers (the key to a girl's heart). I tried to to humor him, and then finally I said, rather loudly, "I'm fourteen."
He shut up.
I'll need to mention that to Kristy tomorrow. She'll get a kick out of it. I'm going to bed now. It's nearly 1 AM.