f(A/N: I'm back. La la la –I'm back- la la la- I'm back…thanks for da reviews…la la la-I'm back-…don't you just love my song and me? Please tell me you do) D
(I'm terribly sorry, I couldn't do Syao's POV! I just couldn't… so this is Sakura's POV again…hehe, don't hate me? U just told me that u loved me…right? )
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS. If I did, why would I be here in the first place? COMMON SENSE PEEPS…hahahaha
Chapter Six: Smiles– Sakura-chanToday was sunny and bright. A supposedly 'cheerful' day. I wasn't having too much fun. I was sitting in my dorm room, sulking. I had no intention of going out, at least right now and perhaps never. My cheeks flamed. I had actually fainted. I couldn't believe it. So naturally, I would not want to go and face Syaoran again now would I? Because I didn't. Or I did? I didn't know. I just wanted to stay in here and not face anyone for the rest of my life, since I had no idea what was going on. When I did figure out-which probably would only happen in never-land, I still wouldn't go outside. Those kids were just plain mean. They didn't say stuff, that isn't the way with these people, they just stared at you-looked you over like you were dirt or something- but it wasn't anything I wasn't used to. I was never exactly 'popular' at school either, although, right now I wasn't in the mood to take that kind of treatment from anyone. Maybe I just wanted to be left alone.
At the same time, and weighing the other hand, sitting in this empty room alone makes me very anxious. It makes me feel like I'm going to bite my own head off- not such a pleasant thought actually. The walls were painted a sickly baby pink, which was starting to blind my eyes. I had a disturbing thought: what if all I could see after this is pink? I didn't like pink much, and I had no intention of seeing it the rest of my life. A strange feeling just propelled me to cover my eyes with my hands. Now I couldn't see any pink. I had another perturbing thought: If the room is so weird, wouldn't my roommate who decorated be just as weird? Suddenly, I was even surer that I didn't want to meet her.
Could things just more confusing here anyways? I didn't know who these people were and before I got a chance too, I just had to come to this school, for preppy rich kids, which that is one thing I am certainly not. My mom's…dead. And somehow I got stuck with him, Syaoran who I never thought I would even get a chance to glimpse of. Except for that one night in the rain. But, that did that really count? He remembered me of course, since he still had my ribbons. My ribbons. That reminded me they were still not in my possession. I hadn't taken them back…of course since I had swooned. That wasn't usually the type of thing I do. It scared me a bit.
Suddenly, the door swung open. I couldn't see who it was, since for my odd reason I had covered my eyes. I heard a long pause.
"Uh?" A hesitant female voice sounded in the empty room. Immediately I got rid of the hands. What was I doing anyways? Great first impression I made on my roommate, her eyebrows were raised. Her lips were pursed and she looked at me with a weird expression on her face. She was definitely a rich preppy snobby-
I didn't answer. Why did I need to? I could be queer if I wanted to. Finally she broke our silence.
"Never mind I asked," She asked and then smiled; to my surprise it wasn't a your-revolting-but-I'm-cool-enough-to-be-polite smile. It was more like I-don't-know-you-yet-and-even-though-you-were-queer-I-like-you smile. I'm good at translating smiles, is it obvious?
"Hi, my name's Tomoyo Daidouji." She said happily, titling her head to me cutely. She took her expensive looking purse off her shoulder and placed it on top of her dresser all the while looking at me expectantly. I had just realized that she was the Daidouji heiress of their fashion and toy line.
"Nice to meet you, Daidouji-san, I'm Sakura Kinomoto." I introduced myself, and smiled back. Although however, it soon disappeared.
Her eyes inspected me carefully over again, and said quietly, "Oh so…you're the girl…" Then she said just as softly as before, "I'm so sorry, I heard." News went around fast.
The thing was I didn't want sympathy from anyone. Sorry? Is that going to bring her back? That's what always comes to mind when someone mentions Mom. Back at Aunty's house, I got tons of flowers and chocolates, saying the same message, sending the same fake empathy probably all from Mom's fans at Nicc'e. Or from Mom's opponent's fans, who would be glad their elected would be president. Resentment would usually tear me up inside, somehow making me cry again wishing to be in Mom's arms again.
But, her words hung in the air like a waft of a disappearing perfume. I almost stirred at how she said it and I looked at her again, seeing her amethyst eyes watching me curiously. No bitter feelings filled me.
I whispered what she wanted to hear, "I'm okay." Even though I wasn't.
She tried to lighten up the air by saying jauntily, "Well, if we stay here any longer we won't. Let me show you around the campus or something okay?" I nodded numbly and let her lead me.
One question stopped me dead in my tracks for she suddenly inquired randomly, "What do you think of becoming my model?"
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I wiped my face off, smiling hesitantly at the new girls that Tomoyo had introduced me too. The same ones who spit, accidentally I hope, their chocolate milkshakes on me. It started when Tomoyo began to show me around.
The school was so huge, with so many rooms and halls, I kind of tuned out while Tomoyo told me about them. I had figured I could just follow someone around on the first day or something. I was just too tired to remember anything.
After a while, she led me to a more interesting place. The school outdoor café. We sat a small table with three other girls underneath a pink umbrella to keep the sun out. Tomoyo started introducing right away.
"This is Rika Sasaki," She pointed to a brown haired girl, who looked at me disdainfully, her face done away with loads of make up. I guess Tomoyo didn't see that most of her friends wanted to meet me as much as I wanted to meet them. "Rika, this is Sakura Kinomoto."
However Tomoyo is my roommate, and I felt like being polite so I said, "Konnichiwa, Sasaki-san." She just smiled back, a distasteful, contempt smile I was accustomed to getting. People had looked at even more oddly as I passed through the halls with Tomoyo. They talked in hushed whispers and stopped when I arrived. It was getting to me now.
Rika was sitting next to another girl with glasses, whom I think Tomoyo told me was Naoko. She looked nice enough at first, but I guess she didn't like me much, the way she kept whispering to Rika. I didn't like they way they kept glancing at me, reproachfully.
"And lastly, this is our kawaii Chiharu." She pointed at a blank seat. Hearing no response, we all blinked at Tomoyo. I had thought Tomoyo was odd. Just not that bizarre as to having an imaginary friend.
She quickly realized her mistake and looked at me apologizing, "She was here a moment ago. Now where'd she go?" I heard giggles from the other side of the small table.
Tomoyo stood up from our café table and squinting she looked for her 'missing' friend. She started cracking up, all of a sudden.
"S-She's-" She said between her laughter, "She's sitting on Yamazaki's lap!" That's when unfortunately for me: it happened. Maybe they had meant to? Or maybe it was just an accident, I don't know but it was all over my face and my white uniform before I could say "Crap." Not that I did anyways.
Giggling crazily again, they looked at me like I was the one who was going insane. Snorting repulsively they both muttered, "Sorry" before bursting into snickers again. I had a feeling that apology wasn't really sincere.
"Oh-my-gosh," Naoko squealed as she stood up soon after Rika did. "Look at her!"
Apparently they were so engrossed in seeing whatever 'Chiharu' was doing they didn't notice me leaving. Like I really cared anyways. I felt down right gloomy. I knew I should have never left the dorm in the first place. If I was going to start in the beginning, I should say I knew I should have been able to remember what happened-
My eyes caught a pair of amber eyes. He was heading over to me.
I froze.
"Hey," he paused catching up to me, "What happened to you?" His voice sounded casual, a tone that he'd probably use with his friends. I almost died. It was like I never fainted, or he never caught me dancing in the rain. It was as if I was his friend too. I think I died again. Whoa there kitty, I thought, only seven more lives.
I sighed and closed my eyes. "What does it look like?" Did that come off sounding really bitter? I hoped not, even though that's how I was feeling right now.
"Uh…someone had a coughing attack and spit all their chocolate milkshake over you? Either that or you must have made enemies quick. Your uniform's covered in that shit." He winced at me. When I opened my eyes again, I must admit he was worth gawking even in our stupid 'uniforms' that we had to wear even since today was technically the first day of school, but a day to laze around. Classes start tomorrow.
I pursed my lips.
An awkward silence fell over us. The kind that fell over us before I had fainted. I glanced at Syaoran who looked like he was mentally debating over something. Finally he talked.
A faint blush spread over his cheeks and he asked, "Uh, yeah, that, um, day, when you, um, you know, woke up, in our house, were you…um wet?"
I nearly fell down laughing or started slapping my knee; which I was sure something he wouldn't like to see, but despite that I smiled.
"Yes," I said curiously wondering how he was somehow related to all this, "What about that?"
"Uh…" He fidgeted. Then it occurred to me; I was making him squirm. Wow, I had no idea I could do that. "Well, you see, it's like this."
"Like what?"
"Let me finish. Uh, I couldn't sleep so I happened to be awake when you decided to sleep walk-"
"I don't sleep walk!" I cried indignantly. What was he talking about?
"You were. You went out in the rain." Suddenly his face flushed again, and I wondered what the heck was making him blush so often. He just stared at me a minute before he said, "I brought you back inside and laid one of my cousin's robes over you."
Oh, I thought, that was it. My heart warmed. He had tucked me in? Something like that…a girl could dream… "Thank you, " I replied smiling. I was certain that my jaw should have started hurting by now, the way I was smiling at everyone, but it didn't. I had a nice feeling just smiling at him.
His eyes flashed over me guiltily. I suspected he was going to tell me something else, but we were interrupted.
"Hey dude, what's taking you so long. Yamazaki's totally hot and heavy with Chiharu out there, hurry with the camera-" Suddenly he stopped and looked at me.
He adjusted his glasses, and scrutinized me with his dark navy eyes. They opened wide in shock. My gloomy feeling settled right over my fleeting pleasant one. Did I look that odd to everyone that they felt compelled to stare at me so?
"Y-You're Sakura, aren't you?" He stuttered, his eyes so wide I thought they'd swallow his face. His eyes flickered down to my Nicc'e bracelet. "You're the girl who-"
"Eriol, yeah, let's go that camera." Syaoran said nervously. We both ignored him and his attempt to steer the conversation away from me.
"I'm the girl who what?" I demanded hotly. What was going on here? Probably more than I'll ever know, I thought sourly, but I had no idea that was the very truth.
"You're the girl who-" Syaoran then took the pleasure of roughly grabbing the kid named Eriol by his shoulders and successfully dragging him off. I heard Syaoran say something warningly and Eriol replying calmly.
I just stared after them, dazedly.
The girl who-… what?
It echoed in my mind and disturbed my sleep. Not a wink that night.
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I didn't get my answer to the confusion yesterday until the start of my 'first' day, at lunch. My first few periods were all right I could say modestly. I didn't really lose my way. The only bad things were the whispers, strange looks, but nothing I hadn't seen yesterday. And Tomoyo was even in my math class, so naturally she had me sit next to her while Rika shot me a dirty look. I didn't care about her so it didn't affect me too much. As I had mentioned before, my first few periods breezed along fine even though I hadn't made many friends yet.
When the lunch bell had sounded, I was glad to leave the boring abyss of history and skip outside into the halls. Just when people's looks started to assault me again, I couldn't help but feel my spirit crushed. I didn't even know why they were looking at me like that. Feeling defeated, I made my way over to the indoor (it was raining outside) cafeteria lunch line. I picked up come fries and saw that all of a sudden it seemed all the tables were full. Either that, or 'suddenly' people were saving seats for imaginary people. I had a feeling no one wanted me there, so I left with my fries. I wasn't really hungry today, so I just hurried back to my dorm room. I reached inside my pocket to find I didn't have my key with me. What great luck I had. Walking back outside the dorm halls, still ignoring people looking at me, I made my to the opposite end of the building where the restrooms were.
I sighed. I thought my idea was stupid at first, but it wasn't so bad. I ate in the bathroom. I know sick, disgusting, what about the smell? Well, I had nearly forgotten that this was Kero Star, the school for heiresses and heirs, the kids of actors and actresses, so of course why not their restrooms be completely wonderfully furnished as their large dorm rooms? The bathroom had stalls of just couches. I almost laughed hysterically; I've been doing that a lot lately. I think the architect has been watching too many chick flicks where the girls cry in the bathrooms. I bet he decided to make the girls their own couches to distress upon. Well, anyways, I should have been thankful for him making them. And the expensive smelling perfume that filled my nose as soon as I had pushed the door open. Pulling the curtain crisply shut in front of me, I brought my feet up on the soft pink couch with me as I silently ate what was left of my small lunch.
Right after I had finished and was about to get up to leave, I heard the door open and slam. Now I was sure I wasn't going anywhere soon. I sat back down, all ears.
" Oh-my-gosh, look at my butt, I think it's grown so much bigger, " A familiar voice said, sounding dreadfully upset. I just rolled my eyes and thought: get over it fat ass.
"Shut up Rika." A voice snapped harshly. I raised my eyebrows wishing I had a tape recorder, that was Rika? "Stop fussing like a baby." The same voice ordered again.
All was quiet except for a shuffle of make up supplies. Then tentatively Rika said in a dangerously low tone, "Did you hear about the new girl Sakura?"
The voice sighed impatiently. "Rika, are you some kind of idiot? Of course I know. The whole school knows. The little pesky murdering bitch." I almost gasped outright. What the fuck had they called me?
"I wasn't talking about that. She acts as if she doesn't know anything. Like she hadn't killed her mother and covered it up so sloppily. I meant about the fact that she had done it to gain Nicc'e. Did you see her golden bracelet? Betchya one hundred percent it was a part of the 'penniless' amount she received after her death." Rika said, "Ugh, my eyes are such a drag. Can I borrow come of you concealer?" My heart was beating so fast I thought it'd burst out of my body. Is that why everyone looked me like that? It dawned on me.
You're the girl who killed her mother.
No one has said it aloud. I heard it aloud to myself. Hot tears stung at my eyes. I stifled my crying by carelessly throwing my hand over my mouth. My stomach lurched and I had a faint feeling of sickness growing in my throat and my lower abdomen.
"Sure," The voice replied boredly then said, "I heard that too. My cousin and I are actually stuck with her now. But, I have a question how would Zariel have anything to give her if she hadn't won the campaign in the first place Rika?"
"Come on Meilin, you aren't supposed to be that stupid right?" Rika teased than said seriously, "Zariel's mom owns Nicc'e! So likewise, remember she died?" I didn't know any of this. When did my grandma die? My stomach lurched lethally again.
"Yes…" Meilin muttered deeply involved in something else it seemed.
"So, to along with Nicc'e company rules they went along with another fake election just to play fair even though everyone knew Zariel was going to win." She continued. I could feel myself crumbling, how is it that I didn't know any of this? Was I so wrapped up in myself I didn't notice this stuff?
"Basically, Zariel inherited it. She dies, the next girl in the family earns the perfume company. Which just happened to be Sakura. I'd say it was too much of a coincidence."
"You're right. I can't believe it though. Rose had handled it well enough, but I was hoping for a change. Someone who would somehow spice'n things up a bit." Meilin said, "I just hate it that the repulsive new girl has to be the one to handle of this thing."
"I know, I know," Rika soothed, "She'd probably ruin the name Nicc'e. The Sasaki's female generation has been wearing Nicc'e perfume for almost fifty years and each new year's creation. I don't want to know what she has in mind, or even consider wearing it."
I choked on my tears. A lump formed and I couldn't hold it any longer.
"Let's go sit on the couches for awhile and look at the magazines. I feel like skipping classes. That Sakura girl's made me so depressed."
My heartbeat went still, and I felt as if I had died again. Six lives kitty I thought…
The curtains of my stall opened and I saw Rika's astonished face.
That's when I got my revenge on her. Even though I hadn't planned to.
The knot in my stomach was getting worse each second, and finally I threw up. All over her and the other black haired girl.
Even after all I had been through that day I did something funny.
I smiled.
(A/N: I love ending my chapters with two words…hehe I'm so messed up… review!!)