Family Portrait
A/N: Wow. Well, I'm glad that my readers seem to trust my judgement. I'm really sorry that I haven't been writing for 'Tale Untold' but I've just got so many ideas for this story and I'm having a lot of trouble coming up with the next chapter. I've started on it so don't worry. Anyway, as I mentioned I have a lot of ideas for this story so I'll likely be working on this one a lot more now. So, I'm going to get on with the next chapter. I hope you enjoy this one as much as you've enjoyed the others. Review and tell me what you think.
Chapter 12 History Repeats Itself
Rory paced back and forth through the Gilmore-Danes home. An ominous silence had fallen upon the house since Rory had arrived there nearly and hour ago. Lorelai sat on the couch in her maternity nightgown watching her daughter wear a groove into the floor as they waited news of what the future held for the Gilmore clan.
"Is it time yet?" Rory asked.
"Not yet," Lorelai replied wearily, wishing to be back in bed with Luke. Lane and Paris sat drowsily beside Lorelai, they too looked as if they wished to be elsewhere but Rory needed their support. Luke's peaceful snores drifted down to them and Lorelai half-wished she had woken him up after all.
The past month had been hard for her daughter. Rory had had a hard time dealing with Jess coming home and trying to be a father to his daughter and then there was the whole Tristan ordeal. Which led to this. Them sitting in the living room at two in the morning awaiting the timer in the kitchen to ring and tell them what happened next.
Thankfully Lucas was asleep and Liza had dozed off a little while ago. But Lorelai was beginning to grow antsy sitting and waiting for her daughter's future to be decided once more by a small plastic stick. Running her hands over the growing lump of her stomach she wondered how they had ended up here. How her getting pregnant at sixteen had automatically set off a chain of events that led to Rory making the same mistake she had, twice.
The timer rang a short ding that echoed through the quiet house. Paris and Lane were immediately on their feet, wide-awake again, Rory had stopped in her tracks and was staring into the kitchen were the answer awaited them and Lorelai sighed and slowly pulled herself off the couch. "Here we go," she said, more to herself than anyone else in the room.
Rory glanced at Lorelai before taking her first step toward the kitchen, the three other women right behind her. Finally, they all stood together in front of the kitchen table staring over at the pregnancy test at the other end. "Can you read it from here?" Lane wondered.
"No," Rory shook her head, wringing her hands together nervously.
"Someone should go over there and read it," Paris suggested.
"Rory..." Lorelai let her voice trail off.
"I can't do it," Rory announced, stepping back, "Someone else do it."
"I'll do it," Lane decided, "I brought the news to you the first time around, might as well be me again."
"Ok," Rory nodded, her hand going instinctively to her stomach, as if somehow she would be able to feel whether there was a baby growing there now or not.
Lane approached the pregnancy test cautiously as every one else followed her movements with their eyes, trying to read her expression. But Lane showed no emotion, she kept her expression neutral and the tension seemed to rise in the room. Slowly, Lane picked the test up holding it carefully as if it might break.
"What does it say?" Rory's voice quavered. She was afraid. Afraid of what all of this might mean, afraid that her dreams might once more be crushed because of something stupid she had done.
"It says..." Lane paused a second, reading the test, doubling checking with the box to be absolutely sure that she wasn't reading it wrong.
"Get on with it!" Paris snapped, tired and impatient. She hadn't gotten any sleep at all that night, not with what Rory had told her hours earlier. That a month ago, the night she disappeared, she had gone over to Tristan DuGray's apartment, gotten drunk and woken up the next morning naked in his bed.
"Rory you're..." Lane began to say again, but this time was cut off by a new voice.
"What's going on?" Rory, Paris and Lorelai all turned, surprised to see that Luke's snoring had stopped and that Luke was standing at the bottom of the steps in his boxers and a T-shirt holding a sniffling Lucas.
"Hold on a second," Lorelai told her husband before turning back to Lane, "Tell us." Rory's shaking hand reached out and grasped her mother's as Lane opened her mouth to speak once more.
"You're having a baby, again," Lane informed Rory sympathetically.
"Oh, god," Rory choked, letting go of her mother's hand as she sunk to her knees and buried her face in her hands.
"What? Rory's pregnant?" Luke demanded to know. He put Lucas down on the floor next to the couch where Liza lay sleeping as he rushed to join the group in the kitchen.
"Rory's pregnant," Lorelai confirmed, reaching for her husband's hand.
"Who?" Luke asked.
"Tristan," Rory managed in between sobs.
"That guy you went to Chilton with?" Luke wondered, looking accusingly at Lorelai as if all his had happened because she had come up with a plan to get Rory and Jess together. Lorelai gave him a look that told him 'We'll talk later' and Luke let it pass.
"What are you going to do?" Lane asked she was on her knees now, her arms wrapped around her best friend.
"I don't know," Rory mumbled, "I don't know."
"You've got to call Tristan," Paris stated, she was still standing awkwardly beside Rory unsure of what she should say or do.
"I know," Rory nodded, "But I can't exactly tell him on the phone."
"Are you going to go to Boston and tell him this weekend?" Lane questioned.
"You can't this weekend!" Lorelai jumped in before Rory could answer, "It's the dance marathon and you have to beat Kirk for me!"
"Lorelai..." Luke started in his lecture tone.
"That's it!" Lane exclaimed, "Rory, you invite Tristan to the Dance Marathon and tell him then."
"I have to go for a walk," Rory stated, getting to her feet.
"You want someone to go with you?" Paris asked. Rory shook her head and headed out the door.
"I need to be alone," she told them as she shut the door behind her. The group fell silent looking at each other and then over at the pregnancy test. History was repeating it self once more for the Gilmores and their friends and there was nothing they could do about it.
Rory walked the streets of Stars Hollow, tears slowly trickling down her cheeks. She reached into her pocket and pulled out her cell phone. Who knew that peeing on a stick could bring such dreadful news. Slowly Rory dialed the numbers that had become so familiar to her in the past month and then pressed the phone against her ear and listened to the slow ringing.
"Hello?" Tristan answered his voice was slow and tired.
"Tristan," Rory said simply.
"You're calling in the middle of the night Mary," Tristan sighed, "This can't be good."
"Sorry it's so late," Rory apologized, trying to force her voice to sound perfectly fine, "But I couldn't sleep."
"Well how thoughtful of you to disturb my sleep on your behalf," Tristan snorted. Rory knew that Tristan wasn't upset, just tired and being Tristan.
"Look, there's this thing happening in Stars Hollow this weekend," Rory began, "It's this annual twenty-four hour dance marathon that my mom wants me to enter. I was wondering if you'd maybe be my dance partner."
"When do I have to be there?" Tristan wondered, not bothering to argue the matter.
"Anytime before Saturday at four in the morning would be fine," Rory chirped forcing herself to sound chipper even if she didn't feel chipper at all. More like scared and...She didn't exactly know how to describe how she felt right now.
"Four in the morning?" that seemed to wake Tristan up, "Are the people there nuts?"
"What do you think?" Rory asked, "Oh, and you have to dress up in clothes from the nineteen-fifties, but I'm sure my mom has something lying around from the past marathons."
"Alright," Tristan relented, obviously too tired to argue with her, "Goodnight Rory."
"Night," Rory clicked off the cell phone and slipped it back in her pocket as she looked around where she was. Shivers rolled down her spine when she realized that she was at the bridge. This was her and Jess' place. Where they had spent all of their time together. Where Jess had taken her on their first date, where she had sent Jess out of her live four years ago and where she had told Jess all about Liza.
Rory took a deep breath and stepped onto the bridge, moving towards the spot where she had sat with Jess only a month ago on the night where her whole universe went spinning out of control again after four years. She sat down and dangled her feet over the edge of the bridge, gazing out and the still water that reflected the sparkling light of the full moon. "You're up late," the voice startled Rory and at the same time sent more shivers down her spine.
"So are you," it took her a while to answer, the words not forming fast enough in her brain.
"Well, when you work at a night club you're usually up late," Jess informed her, taking a seat next to her.
"You work at a night club?" Rory asked, surprised.
"Yeah, kind of helps me pay for my tuition," Jess replied, "And being able to serve alcohol and listen to some great bands are just perks."
"When are you going back to New York?" Rory wanted to know, all she knew was that he was here to help Lorelai and Luke for a while, that was all anyone knew.
"I don't know," Jess shrugged. Rory glanced at him a second. His hair was longer than it had been a month ago, curling over his ear and his brown eyes seemed to be more grown up. More mature. He had been spending a lot of time with Liza lately. He would spend a whole day with Liza on the weekends they came down to Stars Hollow. Kate too had spent time with her as well. Jess had told Kate the whole story and she was surprisingly very supportive of the whole thing. She was back in New York now, had left the two weeks ago after her prolonged stay.
"Have you talked to Kate lately?" Rory wanted to know. She really did like Kate. The two had spent an hour together one-day while Jess was working at the diner. Rory had learnt that Kate wanted to become a professional photographer, had always hoped to be. They had even joked around about them being partners after they graduated and found jobs, Rory writing the story and Kate photographing it. But Rory still envied the girl, a part of her still hated Kate for being in Jess' life.
"She's coming this weekend," Jess announced, "She overheard Lorelai and Luke arguing about the Dance Marathon. She's been trying to convince me to enter."
"You?" Rory stifled a laugh, for the moment forgetting her problem.
"Yeah," Jess nodded, not finding it funny at all.
"Mom's forcing me to enter," Rory told him, "Luke's not letting her so I've got to beat Kirk for her."
"That's Lorelai," Jess shrugged.
"Yeah," Rory nodded.
"Who's your date?" Jess inquired.
"An old friend," Rory told him, "His name's Tristan." At the mention of Tristan Rory's mind floated back to her problem. She was pregnant again and this weekend she would have to tell Tristan that he was going to be a father and hope that he wouldn't flip out.
"Ror?" Jess' eyebrows furrowed and Rory realized that a stray tear had escaped.
"I'm pregnant," Rory informed him.
"Huh."
"Is that all you can say?" Rory's bottom lip quivered as he voice rose slightly, "Huh."
"What do you want me to say?" Jess demanded, "How nice? Congratulations?"
"Anything!" Rory exclaimed, "Say anything as long as it's a word."
"Does the father know?" Jess asked.
"It's not exactly something you tell someone over the phone," Rory retorted.
"Are you going to tell him?" Jess wondered.
"Yes," Rory replied, "Yes I'm going to tell him Jess because he deserves to know. I'm not going to make the same mistake twice. I'm not going to hide this from him and shut him out of my life and this child's life because last time I did that I lost the most important thing in my life. You happy?"
"Ecstatic," Jess drawled.
"Good," Rory cried, getting up, "Because you know what? I'm not!"
"Well that's your own fault isn't it?" Jess spat, "Cause if I remember correctly you were the one who made me leave, you were the one who broke up and you were the one who neglected to tell me you were pregnant with my daughter. So you know what? Too damn bad if I don't feel sorry for you right now Rory because this is your own fault."
"No Jess, this is your fault," Rory argued, "Because if I you hadn't made me love you as much as I do I wouldn't have gotten drunk and this wouldn't be happening."
"This is not my fault," Jess told her, his voice loud and he spoke each word slowly, "Because you had a choice Rory. You had the choice in all of this and you chose this. I had no choice."
Jess stormed off, anger resonating in ever footstep he took and Rory watched him go. Anger and hatred flowed through her body, sadness overwhelmed her and the tears flowed again. Jess was right. This wasn't his fault; none of this was his fault. She had started this all, she had chosen all of this and now there was no turning back.
~*~*~*~*~*~
(In the apartment above the diner.)
Jess stared blankly at the words on the pages of a book he was reading. His hair was damp from having taken a cold shower the minute he had returned from the bridge, he wore his old sweatpants and a plain T-shirt, laying back on his bed and just staring ahead of him. He didn't know what else to do.
He was a nighthawk, always had been. Jess had rarely ever slept, especially since he moved back to New York. He had a job and school, there was hardly anytime to sleep and when he did sleep he would sleep for long hours at a time. Stars Hollow was different from New York though. In Stars Hollow there were no clubs or bars Jess could escape to in the middle of the night, so on his nights of insomnia he would go to the bridge. He would go to their spot and just sit there for hours looking out at the Lake and remembering what he had tried to forget over four years, Rory Gilmore.
That night though he had not been alone, he had arrived on the bridge only to find Rory Gilmore sitting there staring out at the River. He couldn't see her face, he couldn't read what she might've been thinking sitting there in the dark under the full moon. They had maintained what could be considered civil conversation for about two minutes before he had seen a single tear slide down he delicate cheek. Then, she had dropped the bomb that still had him in a daze. She was pregnant. They had fought after that and Jess had stormed off. Now, he was processing what she had told him.
Lorelai Leigh Gilmore was pregnant again and this time it was not his kid. This time Rory had been with someone else had someone else's kid growing inside of her. Jess wondered what this would mean, how this would affect the relationship with Liza he was trying to form. This man, the father of Rory's unborn child would become a father to both his own kid and Jess' kid.
Jess recalled Rory's words from earlier, telling him that she was going to tell the father of her baby. He envied the man. Envied that he would get to be there, that he wouldn't end up the bad guy in the eyes of everyone else. That he would get the choice of whether to stand by Rory or not. Jess had had no such choice, the choice had been made for him and now he was paying for the time he had been forced to miss. He was awkwardly pushing himself into a role that he didn't know how to take the role of a father.
He had never had a father. Jimmy had split not long after Jess was born, leaving Liz to fend for herself and raise Jess. Jess didn't know how a father was supposed to act. The fathers of his friends back in New York had been either drunks, druggies or abusive, Jess had never been around a real father, a father who cared about his children. So this whole thing was new to Jess. He found himself loving a four-year-old girl he knew nothing about, a four-year-old girl, who happened to be his daughter, had been created by himself and Rory.
Liza, he thought of her then and all the time he had been able to spend with her trying to fit into the role he had been shoved into. She had Rory's eyes, twinkling with mischief and sprinkles of his own brown and his unruly dark hair. She was a mixture of the best of both of them, as cheesy as that sounded to Jess it was true. He had watched her from the day he had first met her, had seen Liza act and talk and he could tell. She had so much of both of them in her. Being a father hadn't seemed to fit Jess at first, but just seeing Liza, hearing her ask all her questions it just made Jess want to be able to be her father as best her could.
Did he love Rory? It was a question he had seriously been contemplating since Liza had asked him while watching their home videos. He had once, he was sure of that but until just a while ago he though he didn't love her anymore. He love Kate, that was a given. Kate was unlike all the other girls Jess had dated apart from Rory, and she was so much different than Rory although the two did share similar qualities. Kate was wild and daring and at the same time knew when to be calm and cautious. She was wonderful in every way and was more than supportive about Jess being a father. But when Rory had told him that she was pregnant he knew the answer to the big question. Did he love Rory?
Yes.
~*~*~*~*~*~
(At the Gilmore-Danes house.)
Rory tried as quietly as she could to re-enter the house nearly a half-hour later. She was still angry and upset about the confrontation with Jess before but she hoped that the others had gone to sleep or just didn't hear her come in because she didn't feel like talking to them about it right now, about any of it. Rory didn't want to discuss the pregnancy, or Jess or what she was going to tell Tristan and when. Right now she wanted to go to sleep and forget any of this was happening for about as long as she could.
But there would be no such luck for her. Lane Kim, her best friend since kindergarten sat in the kitchen with two cups of steaming coffee waiting on the table. Rory looked around for the others but Luke, Lorelai and Paris were no where in sight. She smiled a little. Maybe she could stand talking about all of this, if it was only Lane.
"You alright?" Lane asked, as Rory stepped into the bright kitchen. Rory's eyes were still puffy from crying and she shook her head.
"Not so much," Rory responded, "I'm doing everything backwards."
"You didn't mean for it to happen," Lane reminded her. Lane had been visiting Rory that night. She had a few nights off from school and band and had come to stay with Rory and Paris and discuss the wedding. Rory had told them the whole story together only two hours before they had picked up a pregnancy test and drove to Stars Hollow.
"I know," Rory sighed, "Where's everyone else?"
"I sent them to bed," Lane replied, "Luke convinced Lorelai to go back up with him and I told Paris that it'd be better if I was the one awake when you came home instead of her. Considering she's not very pleasant when she's tired."
"You should've gone to sleep too," Rory sat down and took a sip of the coffee.
"I know," Lane shrugged, "Just figured you might need some coffee."
"Thanks," Rory managed a small smile, "But I'm not sure if I should drink it."
"It's decaf," Lane informed Rory, "Luke doesn't have any of the real stuff in here cause of Lorelai remember?"
"Right," Rory managed a small laugh, "I ran into Jess."
"Oh."
"Yeah, I ended up telling him," Rory stared into the blackness of the coffee cup, "And we fought."
"What are you going to do about Tristan?" Lane changed the subject, seeing the familiar flicker of sadness in Rory's eye. The subject change wasn't much better, Lane knew but it was the best she could come up with that would help Rory with her situation.
"I called him right after I left," Rory told Lane, "I invited him to the Dance Marathon Saturday. I'll tell him then."
"If you need any help, you know I'm here right?" Lane questioned, examining Rory carefully. So much had changed in the past four years. Rory was going to be a single mother for the second time and Lane was getting married to Dave.
"I know," Rory nodded. There was a pause before Rory spoke again, "Why does this keep happening to me?"
"What?" Lane frowned, confused.
"I've had sex twice and I've gotten pregnant both times," Rory explained, "But you, my mom, Paris you've done it more than me and you haven't gotten pregnant. Why me? Does the world just hate me?"
"Rory..." Lane trailed, she didn't know what to say.
"Lane, this isn't supposed to happen twice," Rory shivered, "You're not supposed to get pregnant every time you have sex."
"Rory you were drunk and you don't know if he used protection or not," Lane pointed out, "And with Jess it was just a fluke."
"I can't do this again Lane, I can't raise another kid alone," Rory cried, she felt herself breaking down again.
"You won't be alone," Lane assured her, "Tristan will be there and I will and Paris, Dave, Jamie Luke and Lorelai will all be there too. There's no way you'll be doing this alone."
Lane's words comforted Rory slightly. Maybe she wouldn't be alone after all, not really at least. Tomorrow Tristan was going to come down to Stars Hollow and on Saturday she would go to the Dance Marathon with him and try and find a way to tell him that she was pregnant.
She only hoped that Tristan was as good a person as she thought he was.