If the characters seem a bit out of character, sorry. But I haven't played FF7 and 8 in awhile. In fact, the only games I've played recently are FF9 and Crash Bandicoot, but they don't come till la- whoops, I already said too much. Anyway, enjoy!

Chapter 4- The Key That Opens Nothing

"So, Selphie, any reason why we shouldn't teach you a lessson about trying to kill people? It's not nice, you know."

"For the last time I am not an assassin! Look, I'll tell you why I'm here if you let me go, okay?"

They all looked at each other, and then Cid released her. She turned around, facing them all. "Okay, here's how it goes. See, I work for a military organization called SeeD."

"SeeD?" Cait Sith repeated.

Squall nodded. "We basically specialize in undercover missions and the likes. Anyway, we got a call one day about a new mission."

"This mission would be like no other mission," Selphie explained. "We were told that scientists had found that our world borders other ones."

Cait Sith was confused. "So if you go to the edge of the world, you'll go into another?"

Squall shook his head. "No, not really. To get into an opposing world, you must enter one of the many portals scattered throughout ours. Like under Vincent's bed, for one, which consequently ends up in the middle of the Bikanel Desert in this world."

"So, you're from another world?" Yuffie solicited.

"Yeah, that's right. We were told that the balance between the worlds was shifted when a source of large power was neutralized."

"This happened when the Gullwings and I defeated the Angra Mainyu," Rikku said. "Because all that power was destroyed so suddenly, it changed the balance and the universes, well, moved."

Cid popped in another cigarette. "So your and our worlds collided?"

"No, I'm from another world that borders both this one and the Angra Mainyu's."

Lighting his cigarette, Cid asked, "So what's so bad about this shift?"

"Well, these two worlds sort of, well, ran into each other. The absorbed the same space and intook the same energy at the same time..." Selphie shook her head. "I couldn't understand, but long story short, because of all this energy in one spot, it compacted together and formed what we call the Iris."

"The Iris," Vincent put in, "is comprised of pure concentrated energy. If you find a way to unlock its energy, it can be used for great destruction."

"And that is exactly why we sent you on this vacation. The temple right here is supposed to be the spot where this universe collided with the Angra Mainyu's. And so this is where the Iris is. We are supposed to come upon it accidentally in this expidition. If we just told you about it, you'd be suspicious, wouldn't you? And you'd say we were from Shinra, right?"

"I... I guess, yeah..." Cid was sort of guilty.

"But wait, I read in Vincent's journal thing that the Angra Mainyu is still alive."

"We believe that that is the key to unlocking the power of the Iris. The Angra Mainyu weilded so much power that in the tomb far underground that it slept in, it shed power."

"It shed power?"

"Yes. So, if the Iris is in the presence of such power, it might combine with it and make more Angra Mainyus from this unused power energy. Hundreds, maybe thousands of them."

"Man, just one was a pain in the ass," Rikku said. "But thousands... that's the apocalypse."

"Not only that, they'll be released into other dimensions as well, the energy is so great. They say that it would be strong enough to even break through the barriers and melt all the universes together."

"So basically, bad stuff will happen if this Iris is found."

"What about this Hilda? Vincent wrote something about Hilda."

Squall chuckled. "Hilda is an archaeologist who says she comes from the world where the Iris and the theory of a pure energy product were produced. She was one of the scientists who found the placement of these 'inter-worldly' wormholes. They were actually the ones who found the power shift and tipped our researchers about it. Right now she's back in her own world sorting things out there."

The door opened and closed behind them. Cait Sith turned around to find himself looking up the skirt of yet another young blonde. "Why, hello." He expected her to be surprised, but she wasn't. "Oh, is this Red XIII?"

"Quistis, this is Cat Sith."

"That's Cait Sith."

"Whatever. And this is Quistis."

Cid shook his head. "All right, all right... but who, exactly, is this that we want to keep the Iris from?"

"Ah... we believe that a cult is after it based on... yeah, you guessed it... former Shinra members." Selphie crossed her arms. "And... the one thing that keeps us from getting it is... well, you."

"Me? Why me?"

"Don't you have a key? A key that you got on your adventures? A ruby key?"

"A ruby key..." Cid put his hand in his pocket and retrieved a red stone shaped like a key. "An old man in Wutai gave it to me."

"And old man..." Yuffie pondered. "That must've been Kuse."

"Coo-say?"

"No, not at all like that."

"But that's exactly how you said it."

"No, it's not, I said Kuse."

"Coo-say."

"No!"

"Just shut up already! Are they always like this?"

Red shook his head. "No, sometimes they have their bad days."

"Anyway, this cult, who is called Bahamut Zephyr, and-"

"Bahamut Zephyr? That's original..."

"Stop interupting me! They know about your friend Vincent and what he's doing. They're looking for him now!"

"Okay," Cait Sith said. "I'm beginning to understand this... just tell me one more thing. Why did Hilda tell only Vincent and why is it that it was planned that only he would go and get to do all this stuff to save the world?"

Vincent sighed. "Well, actually, this is... this is because I-" He was interrupted by a slam heard outside. "You!" It was a woman's voice. "Where is he?"

Poor Clasko was terrified out of his mind. "Wh-who?"

"The man in red, you idiot! We followed one of his friend's here."

Quistis cursed silently, lowering her head.

"I... I... uh... he's-"

"Out of my way!"

They heard a smack, a thud, and approaching footsteps.

"What's this about?" Cait Sith asked. Everyone shushed him. "This is just too confusing, now..."

"Be quiet!"

"I heard a noise from this room, ma'am."

"Go check it out then."

They heard footsteps approach... the door opening...

"It's a closet, you idiot."

"Yeah, but look, Sonny and Cher!"

"What in the hell are they doing here?"

"I don't know. Oh well... I'm in a door opening mood now. I think I'll open this door next to the closet. The doorknob turned...

Before the man knew what had happened, Squall burst out of the room, cutting him down the middle and knocking him over with his gunblade. "You stabbed me! Ugh... you fricking idiot, you're ruining my life! Gosh!"

Squall stared. "Dude, that's like the worst Napoleon Dynamite impersonation I've ever seen..." He looked up. "And you are..."

"You mean you don't know who I am?" The woman smiled. "Your friends know. Remember me, Vincy Wincy? Oh and the cute little kitty wants to die to, hmm?"

"So you're still alive... Scarlet. You always manage, don't you?"

"Of course. Well, long story short, we want the Iris, and we're going to resurrect the Angra Mainyu. And there is nothing you can do about it." She raised her magnum-44.

Vincent, swift to hand and gun, retrieved a rather large pistol from his belt.

"Haha, I hear your a good gunman, but remember I've been handling these things since my father taught me when I was a little girl. Wanna see who's better?"

"Just remember, there's only one of you, Scarlet... but if you kill me, there will still be seven people left who are just as strong as me who can take down Bahamut Zephyr."

"Well, I'd gladly sacrifice myself to knock you off, Vincy Wincy. Or one of your friends..." She moved her pistol to the side, and shot.

"Quistis!"

"Tch... Quistis. What an ugly name."

Vincent snapped the trigger... but nothing came out. "What! I just loaded it, I-"

She held up his rounds. "Remember Vincy Wincy... don't mess with the best. Buh-bye." And with that, she turned around and fled. "Come back here!"

But no one chased after her. They were paying attention to Quistis, who was laying on the floor, clutching her stomach. "Well, Squall, looks like we goofed this time, huh?"

"What are you talking about? It was just a little mistake. Don't worry about it, all right? We'll have you all patched up pretty soon, we'll just-"

"Oh come on, Squall. I'm disappointed in you. I did not train you to teach yourself lies. It was fun, Squall. Give my regards to Rinoa, Zell..." she coughed atrociously. "Irvine and Selphie... okay?"

"But, Quistis... I... but I..."

But it was too late. Her eyes moved to the ceiling and stayed there. They would never move again.

(later)

The sun set at the Calm Lands. Squall, always the seclusive one, sat at the cliff, staring at the endless plains below. He heard footsteps.

"Oh, Vincent."

"Squall... I'm sorry. It's.. it's all my fault."

Squall stood up, facing Vincent. "Why do you say that?"

"Scarlet... I... I don't know how, but I... I let her win. I don't know how she got my ammo... I'm sorry, Squall."

"It's okay." He put a hand on his shoulder. "These things happen. It's what we're trained for in the military. Huh... first time it's happened to someone this close to me."

"Were you two-"

"No, we weren't. But we were close friends for roughly 21 or so years. Don't worry about it. It's not your fault. It's that Scarlet's fault. But we'll get her. You'll see."

"Yes, of course. I consider it my duty to find her and defeat her. For me, and for Quistis."

Squall smirked. "Were you ever in the military?"

"Once. A long... long time ago."

"Well it shows. Come on, it's getting dark. Clasko's letting us stay the night. We're getting up pretty early."

"Where are we going?"

"Well, Selphie and Zell are taking care of retrieval of the Iris in your world. We have prevention of the Iris in this one. Tomorrow we're going to Bikanel Desert."

And as the sun sunk below the horizon and night began to take over, life and the world went on.

The end.

Hey! Have you all forgotten about me? How can this be the end? HELLO! I'M STILL STUCK IN THIS DAMN TRAIN! I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU GUYS DON'T GET ME OUT I'M GONNA HAVE TO BUST THIS CRACKER RENO'S ASS!

So are we, Barret. And say you're sorry to Reno.

Yes, Tifa... sorry.

Better be. I hate crackers. Make my mouth dry.

And I'm a little confused? Isn't this more like the beginning than the end? And how come my husband Cloud hasn't been in the story yet?

Review please! Chapter 5 coming soon.

No! Don't review! Review your plans o' getting me outta this damned train! Hello! HELLO! IS NO ONE LISTENING TO ME? HELLO? HELLOOOOOOOOO?