Author's Note: Very Special Thanks to Anna who has held my hand and listened to my whining about missed deadlines and a 3 chapter story that turned in to six. She is the queen of all betas, kicking my ass when I needed it and telling me when I'd nailed it dead on. I couldn't have done this without you! smooch! (to view the NC-17 version of thisstory please visit my web-site, Gate of Dreams that's listed ih my profile.)
Perspective- Chapter 6
Shadows shifted in the dark room, odd patterns of gray and black that flitted slowly from the open window above her head to the far side of her sleeping quarters. It occurred to her fatigued mind that the swell of the ocean waves might be reflecting off the smooth surface of the city creating the hypnotic shapes that seemed intent on keeping her overtired mind from finding the peace of sleep.
Teyla sat up in her bed watching the shadow ballet, knowing it wasn't really their delicate beauty that kept her awake. Her insomnia could be traced directly back to her aching- yet strangely hopeful- heart, her confused mind and the still persistent cold that pervaded her soul.
How she longed for the wise council of her mentor, Charin. She desperately craved words of comfort or understanding that would help her sort out the violent storm of emotions threatening to undo her.
Had Teyla known that being in love would be so painful, she would have escorted Major John Sheppard right back to the Stargate the night he walked into her tent - and her life.
He had thoroughly upset her carefully ordered world till, one minute, she would gladly push him off the South Pier for treating her so badly, but in the very next second, her heart was swamped by the giddy knowledge that John loved her and she wanted to find him and share her overheated body with him.
She really did love him. That single truth was the center of her anxiety, the knowledge that because of it, he had the power to destroy her from the inside out.
Could she learn to trust him again and if she could, should she? Her heart and seething emotions screamed yes, but her rational mind wasn't sure.
Teyla had believed him earlier when he'd promised that he would do anything to win back her trust, and oh how wonderful it had felt for him to hold her to him as she poured out her broken heart. However, John's overreaction to Sgt. Bates and its subsequent aftermath, was not something she could easily overlook.
Enough. It was past time for her to act like the confident leader she was and make a decision. Swimming to the surface of her mind came the chilling thought that with the Wraith bearing down on them, they might not have too many more tomorrows. She had to sort this out- now.
Truth. John Sheppard was her match, her other half, there could be no debate on that subject.
Reality. When that connection would became fully realized, however, was now a matter for thought and consideration. He would indeed have to earn back her trust and it would be up to her how long that would take.
Solution. Teyla would find him tomorrow and tell him she loved him. She would not take the chance that he could die not knowing she had forgiven him.
She would further go on to explain that they would not be picking up where they left off until John could prove himself worthy again of her trust.
Checking and re-checking every angle of her logic she at last felt the certainty of knowing she could be at peace with this course of action.
Plans decided, course set, the turbulence within her subsided to within manageable levels.
Teyla's expression cleared as she laid her weary head on her pillow and relaxed, eventually slipping into slumber.
The next morning, Teyla awoke refreshed, feeling better than she had in weeks, despite the knowledge that the Wraith would arrive at Atlantis sooner than she ever would have wished. Apparently, her relationship with John Sheppard had weighed more heavily on her mind than she cared to admit to herself.
She had in mind to seek him out once she was dressed and see if he was free for breakfast. Perhaps afterward they could find a few private moments to talk. The sooner they understood one another, the better.
The knock at her door sounded as she finished brushing her hair.
"Enter," she called, hoping it was John and that he had decided to ask her to breakfast. She was immediately concerned when the door opened to reveal not only him, but Lt. Ford as well. They didn't look happy.
"Teyla," John's greeting was somber, but the fact that she could see his feelings for her reflected in his clear green eyes, helped to put her mind as ease.
"Has something happened?" she queried, getting right to the point.
Ford looked uncomfortably from her back to Major Sheppard. "Sgt. Bates was found unconscious last night. He's been beaten up pretty bad."
Teyla sat down on the bed behind her immediately recognizing she could be a prime suspect.
"You do not think I had anything to do with it?" She looked beseechingly from John to Aiden.
To his credit, John chimed in immediately; he was definitely trying to make up for his earlier behavior. "Of course not."
Ford however, wasn't willing to let her off so easily. "You and Bates did get into it pretty good yesterday."
"You know me, Aiden, I never would have taken it that far," Teyla answered mildly.
"I know, so let's just see if we can't rule it out all together," Ford pressed doggedly.
Trying to ascertain just how much of this was Major Sheppard's idea, Teyla hesitated and looked to him tentatively. His look was reassuring, communicating to her that he believed in her fully, but that this investigation was out of his hands and she needed to answer the questions. Teyla nodded slightly to indicate her understanding.
Their silent communication wasn't lost on Ford despite his youth and inexperience. Working so closely with both of them, he knew better than most how one felt about the other.
He also knew that Major Sheppard would never believe she was guilty of anything unless maybe he caught her in the act. At this point, Aiden felt that it was his duty to protect the major from himself.
"Where were you last night?" the Lieutenant asked continuing his questioning.
"I was here, in my room." Teyla tried her best to keep her irritation from showing through. Ford was only doing his job.
"The whole night?"
"Yes."
"So there's no way of knowing if you blacked out or not," John finally chimed in.
Teyla couldn't help showing the disappointment she felt at his question, but she refused to let it discourage her from her previously determined plans, he had to know she was innocent. They would get through this.
"I have no way of proving it, no, but I did not leave this room last night. I am sure of it."
John and Ford nodded silently. John, to his credit, looked satisfied with her answer and it seemed Lt. Ford wanted to believe, but he looked to his commanding officer for confirmation.
"I did not leave this room."
"Do you think any of the city's sensors, might confirm Teyla's story, sir?" Ford ventured upon leaving her room.
"She said she was in her room, there's no reason not to believe her, Ford." John wished to hell he were as confident as he sounded. Given her emotional state last night when he left her and her serious mix up with the victim, he couldn't be as sure as he'd like to be that she didn't do it.
"Whatever you say, sir."
They finished the walk to Weir's office in uncomfortable silence and it didn't get much better when they finally got there.
Elizabeth wanted answers and she had her own way of getting them. Once again, however, John found himself in the untenable position of being Teyla's only defender.
Weir was a perceptive woman, the fact that she'd asked Ford for his take on Teyla's alibi after John had already given his, told him subtly that she didn't entirely trust his judgment where the Athosian leader was concerned.
She was too diplomatic to come out and say it in front of his junior officer, but her tone and expression were clear to him. If he was going to keep Teyla from being thrown in the brig, he was going to have to keep his anger and irritation in check and
Had it not been for Dr. Beckett's interruption that heralded the real culprit, he might have found himself seriously at odds with Elizabeth. That bothered him more than he cared to admit. There was almost nothing he wouldn't do for Dr. Weir; the woman who had single-handedly saved his military career, but siding with her against Teyla wasn't one of those things.
Fortunately for John Sheppard, his instincts about Teyla were right again. According to Carson, she had nothing to do with the attack on Bates. As it turned out, they had a much bigger problem than their own personnel beating the hell out of each other.
There was at least one Wraith loose in the city.
John constantly marveled at the technology left behind by their Ancient benefactors, especially when - like this latest discovery- it helped him do his job. The citywide life signs detector pinpointed their Wraith spy in a few seconds, giving him the intel he, Teyla and Ford, needed to catch this thing quick before it did any more damage. If they were lucky they could find out what it had been up to for the last few weeks.
Teyla.
It suddenly hit him, that not only was she in the clear, the reason for her nightmares had been discovered and she would never again have to face suspicious accusations from people like Bates. She was innocent. Of course, he'd known that all along.
Better yet, her Wraith sense, and ability to connect with them, was going to be a valuable advantage, in their continued fight against them.
While all that was great, it still ate at him that he left her crying and disillusioned in her room last night. Even though he'd been successful at pushing the knowledge of what an idiot he'd been, out of his mind during the whole 'Bates' investigation, now that it was all over, guilt washed though him anew.
John had promised to prove to her that he could be trusted and he meant it. Since there wasn't a whole lot he could say to her that would help that along, he would do what he did best. Let his actions speak for him.
To that end, he'd started out this morning letting her know without words, that she had his full and complete support. He hoped it wasn't wishful thinking that she seemed to understand.
Stackhouse, moving even with his position on the left, snapped him back to the present and he radioed back to compare his handheld with the city's LS detector. "Is he still in place, Doc?"
John's team never stopped advancing toward their sleeping target.
"Yes," Zelenka answered as a seriously worried Dr. Weir looked on. "He's still in the same room. Hasn't moved since we located him."
Relieved, John hoped their good luck would hold. "Let's hope he's still sleeping. Ford, Teyla, you in position?"
"Almost," a blip of static preceded her calm, comforting voice over the radio. He wondered briefly if everyone else got as turned on as he did when they heard her smooth as silk voice. They'd better not, his primitive self growled. 'Get a grip, John, life or death stuff here', he admonished himself.
"My team's ready," he breathed into the radio as he motioned Stackhouse, and the others to move into place. "We're gonna breach the room at the same time from different directions, if he tries to get out the other door- take him.
"Understood, sir," Lt. Ford acknowledged. "We shouldn't be more than a couple of minutes."
"All right, standby." Sheppard halted behind a thick square column positioned in front of the door to the adjacent room, gun at the ready.
This never got easier, no matter how many times he'd tracked these things they always put the fear of God in him. Six months ago, he never known evil like this existed, but that was before he'd seen the life sucked out of his superior officer and entire worlds decimated. Ignorance was bliss.
Stackhouse carried the stunner and moved to point, the other members of the team, found positions similar to his behind various objects in the room. It was now or never.
As if on cue, the door slid open. His team moved forward in tandem, ready to take down their intruder. It was a good plan, in theory, if the Wraith hadn't sensed them coming and stunned them before they ever saw him.
John felt the familiar loss of muscle control and debilitating paralysis that resulted from a direct Wraith Stunner hit and fell ignobly to the floor along with the rest of his team. Some days, his job just sucked.
From his prone position he couldn't see his attacker until its ugly white face was looking down at his. Nor could he stop the vicious predator from ripping his flak jacket away. 'Where the hell are Ford and Teyla,' he wondered desperately.
"Nothing will keep us from our new feeding ground," the eerily modulated voice threatened as it prepared to suck him dry.
Instead, however, the thing convulsed with blue light and fell back unconscious. Teyla's team had reached him in time.
"You were on vox, sir. We heard the whole thing and double timed it." Ford informed him with Teyla at his side.
Unable to speak or move, John couldn't respond to her worry or concern that seemed to be flowing though his mind in waves. It did occur to him that something wasn't right about that, but the feeling disappeared as quickly as it had come and when she was leaning over him, her hand on his chest and her beautiful almond eyes holding his, he decided it really didn't matter anyway.
"We got him, Major," she assured him, "you are going to be okay."
He tried his best to smile reassuringly up at her before he passed out, but he wasn't sure it translated with no muscle control in his face. Later, he would tell her later.
Dr. Beckett was gone by the time John returned to consciousness in the medical bay. The Scottish doctor and his efficient medical staff now knew that while paralysis from a stunner was uncomfortable, it was in no way life threatening. Victims didn't need the nurses hovering over them while the feeling returned to their body. Especially when they were needed elsewhere to prepare for the coming Wraith attack.
Teyla had accompanied John to medical and stayed with him after the others left. She desperately needed to know that he was all right. What's more it might be the only chance she'd have to say to him all she needed to say. She'd been sitting by his bed for well over an hour, when he finally opened his eyes.
"Teyla?" John's groggy voice was like music to her ears.
"Major..." Teyla began, but when she saw disappointment register on his handsome face at her use of his rank, she softened her tone, placed her hand over his and continued. "John, how do you feel?"
"I can't feel my legs yet, but I'm fine." He smiled at her that smile that made him look like the boy he must have been once. She loved that smile.
"So, is our guest settling in? I'll bet he's more than a little hungry - too bad for him." John quipped sarcastically.
"Lt. Ford has placed him in confinement and is guarding him along with Lt. Stackhouse."
"As soon as I can walk again, I need to get down there and ask him a few questions."
"Yes, as do, I," Teyla agreed, continuing their small talk to avoid what she really wanted to say.
Strangely, now that the moment was upon her, she was suddenly shy. She desperately wanted to talk to him alone, but all she could manage to do was stare at him like a young girl with her first crush. This was stupid she needed to say something. The seconds stretched out like hours till she overcame her nerves.
"John, I've been..."
"Teyla, I know that..."
One interrupted the other and they laughed nervously.
"Ladies first." John smiled again, his sage green eyes capturing hers. She nearly forgot to breathe he was so utterly attractive.
"Very, well." She began trembling slightly and gripped her legs in an effort to maintain her composure. "I wanted... that is I needed to tell you...that I forgive you."
John released a huge breath. "Boy, am I glad to hear you say that. I was so afraid..."
"John, please," she interrupted, "There is more I need to say and we do not have much time."
She continued quickly wanting to erase the worried look on his face. "I also want you to know that...I..." Teyla paused, looking away for a second or two. Then taking a deep breath she turned back, making sure she looked right into his eyes before continuing softly. "...that I am in love with you."
John nearly came out of his skin. He'd been fairly sure of how she felt about him, but to hear her say it out loud was like Christmas morning and his birthday all rolled into one.
He could have so screwed things up in the last few days, but thank God, she forgave him and she loved him. He didn't deserve it, but Teyla loved him.
He wanted to jump off of the bed and drag her to his quarters. Since he couldn't move his legs yet, he settled for reaching over, taking her hands in his, pulling her onto the narrow bed beside him and drawing her lovely lips to his for a thorough kiss.
There it was again; feelings that weren't his.
They flashed though him brief, but intense; her love for him accompanied by her still strong, lingering distrust. He couldn't breathe it was too overwhelming. Breaking off, he pulled back to stare at her, panting softly.
"What was that? I felt..." John broke off suddenly feeling foolish. He must have been imagining things.
"I felt something as well." Teyla smiled seductively. Her part of the exchange had her in sexual overdrive. It was a heady feeling to know the strength of John's physical passion for her. Some of it must have transferred to her to get her this distracted this quickly. She reached for him again, eager to finish what he started.
John leaned away, a little spooked that they could feel each other's feelings- even if it was only for a few seconds. "Uh, Teyla, I don't know about you, but I can't usually feel what other people are feeling. Something's wrong here."
"Perhaps my new abilities enable me to connect with humans as well as Wraith, since I am human," she offered, before seductively trying to kiss him again.
"You're not even a little worried?" John raised an eyebrow and held her off.
"There has always been a strong connection between us, John." Teyla finally relaxed, trying to respond soothingly. "You said yourself that you felt it, did you not?"
"Well, yeah, but..."
"It does not surprise me now that I have discovered the ability to mentally connect to the Wraith, that our connection would change or possibly strengthen."
"Strangely enough that does make sense." John shook his head and looked at Teyla in amazement. "Still I think we should have Carson check us out, just to make sure we don't have some weird-ass Ancient disease."
"Of course, Major," she acquiesced, the remnants of their mutual arousal fading. "But there is still something I must tell you."
"You still don't trust me, right? I- that's um...that's what I felt from you a minute ago."
He looked so disappointed that Teyla wanted to lie to him- anything to make him feel better, but she could not. He knew the truth- feelings plucked right from her heart. She would not dishonor him or herself by denying they existed. If they were ever to have the kind of love her parents shared, they would have to work past this first. It would be worth it in the end, she was sure of it.
"Yes. It may be some time before I can trust you not to act without regard for how it will effect me and my standing among your people."
"So where does that leave us, Teyla? I love you, you know that. Are we supposed to just act like friends, like nothing ever happened between us till you're sure of me again?"
"No!" Teyla grimaced as the pain he was feeling shot through her. "No, John, of course not. I just think that any physical intimacy between us would be unwise until I can be sure."
Silence stretched between them as he contemplated her condition. Damn.
Teyla could feel disappointed desire coupled with pure male frustration rolling off of John in waves. It was so potently alluring that it nearly made her change her mind. Nearly. She stilled her mind and waited silently for his verbal reaction.
John never thought he could want anything as much as he wanted Teyla. It was as if every molecule in his body was insisting that he make her his in every sense of the word now that she'd admitted her love for him.
Even though it was a physical drive, it went far beyond the mere physical. The warrior in him needed her, craved her acquiescence in every area. It would be living hell for him to be around her and not be able to touch her.
His rational mind whispered to him that on the other hand, when it came right down to it, he was really lucky she'd even give him a second chance and if this was what she needed to be sure of him then it was worth it.
He'd just have to pray she didn't make him wait too long.
"I don't like it," John finally conceded, "but I can live with it because the most important thing is that you trust me again."
Once John's paralysis receded to the point that he could walk on his own, he and Teyla were on their way. They entered Atlantis' Wraith-proof brig and found Ford and Stackhouse still there guarding the prisoner.
John didn't waste any time getting down to business. They were out of time and he wanted answers- this Wraith had them and he intended to get them- now.
"Nice to see you on your feet sir, how're you feeling?" Ford asked as he approached.
"You know, pins and needles. I hate getting stunned by those damn things," Sheppard, answered, his eyes never wavering from the captive Wraith. "Has he said anything, yet?"
"No, sir, not yet."
John walked to the edge of the cell and faced his attacker. "You got a name?"
The menacing predator inside the cage stared back but didn't answer.
"Okay. We'll go with, Bob." Sheppard addressed it with deadly sarcasm. "Bob, I'm gonna to need to know what you've been doing here for the past two weeks and I'm gonna need to know now."
The Wraith eyed John, smugly remaining silent.
After waiting a moment longer, the Major turned back to the others. He was seriously displeased and knew that anger and frustration must be streaming straight to Teyla. It was the stronger emotions they seemed to feel. He'd have to worry about that later.
"I don't think he's in a very talkative mood, sir," Ford ventured gamely.
"I need to know what he's been doing and whether or not he's been transmitting back to the hive ships." Sheppard kept his voice low.
"Wouldn't we have picked up the transmission?" Ford queried.
"We can send secure messages, there's no reason he can't," John snapped, a little annoyed at the young Lieutenant's naiveté.
Teyla, who'd been quiet since they arrived at the brig, listened to the exchange between the two men. It was no use trying to question the Wraith, he would tell them nothing. She and her Wraith abilities were probably the only chance they had to glean any intel from the prisoner. However, considering how new to the process she was and how little control she had once inside the Wraith mind, it was most likely a long shot, dangerous for her as well.
That was of no consequence, she was Teyla Emmagan daughter of Tegaan, leader of her people and she would do what was necessary, dangerous or not.
"Maybe I can try and connect with him." Her worried expression communicated an awareness of the danger that her words did not.
Looking from one to the other, John saw Ford's brows creased in caution, his expression grim. As he looked back to Teyla's face, he agreed. The last thing in the world he wanted to do was subject the woman he loved to possible danger.
"I don't think so."
"If the Alpha-Site has been compromised, Major," she reasoned, "we need to know." 'And, you have to trust me,' she finished silently.
It occurred to him then, that this kind of situation was exactly what she was talking about when she told him he'd have to prove that he wouldn't try to protect her when it would make her look weak or like he didn't trust her.
John wasn't happy with his choices; it was a possible lose/lose situation for him either way. If she was taken over again, or worse, hurt by another attempt to connect, he'd never forgive himself. If he kept her from trying, it could permanently damage any chance they had of being together.
There was only a slim chance that she could get anything from the monster on the other side of the bars before it stopped her. As he looked from Teyla back to the Wraith, John's face reflected barely leashed frustration and anger threatening to break loose.
He had to let her try. There really wasn't any other choice.
"Okay," he said slowly, "see what you can do."
Once the decision was made, she turned, displaying all the confidence born of generations of leaders of the Athosian people. This killer of her people was nothing to her and she made sure the arrogant expression on her face showed him just that.
Breathing deeply, head thrown back, she searched for that deep unrelenting cold that lived within her now. Following it slowly back to its source, she heard the voices, hungry, brutal, cunning, desperate. Further focusing, she searched for the loudest, clearest one that would most certainly be their unrepentant captive.
There.
Teyla opened her eyes and zeroed in on 'Bob's' like a hawk after its prey. Elation spread through her, thick and heady, at her success. Now for the information she needed.
Sabotage? Yes. Intel? Communication? The Wraith's initial surprise was giving way to defense. She pressed. Yes. It had gotten...
"What are you doing, human?" The Wraith growled menacingly at Teyla, doubling his attempts to keep her from the information she was seeking.
"You're trying to get inside my mind"
Teyla kept searching. He was angry...hungry...he hadn't...
"Allow me." The thing grinned evilly and cocked its head threateningly.
She refused to be intimidated, never breaking eye contact. There it was, the information she needed, if she could just...
Without warning, fiery pain split though her skull from front to back. Teyla gripped her head as she sank to the hard metal floor. Mercifully, whatever the thing had done to her instantly broke the connection she'd made.
"Teyla!" John yelled in outrage, having felt an echo of the pain the Wraith sent lancing through her.
Blinding rage poured through every molecule of his body and he automatically sprang into action. "Open the door!" he ordered Stackhouse. Never in his life could he remember being so angry that he lost control, this would be the first.
That life-sucking son of a bitch had hurt his Teyla and it was going to pay- dearly. Deadly calm fueled by rage took over as John stepped just inside the cell and started shooting.
The Wraith stood his ground seemingly unhurt.
Meanwhile, Lt. Ford caught Teyla, easing her to the ground where she rested, panting slightly. "Are you okay?" the young lieutenant asked.
Still unable to talk, Teyla just nodded.
"My wounds will heal," 'Bob', taunted.
"Yeah, but for how long?" John retorted angrily. Instinct to protect that which was his, combined with countless years of military training held Major Sheppard's gun in place while he pumped another round of ammo into the Wraith's leather clad chest. "I need to know what you've done to this city," he demanded again, more forcefully. Two more shots rang out.
The thing fell to its knees, but still refused to give any information.
Sheppard took a few more steps into the cell, as he dumped his empty clip and reloaded. "Listen, Bob, I have no problem killing you whatsoever."
'Bob's' smug, jagged grin was like fuel on the fire for John, pushing him past the point of no return. It tried to kill Teyla, sabotaged the city, comprised not one but two different Alpha-Sites and God's knows what else, and yet, it smiled hatefully back at him refusing to answer a single question.
The last of Sheppard's control slipped its leash. "I'm not screwing around, Bob!" he yelled. "Did you sabotage this base or not?" Three more bullets and his antagonist was on the floor of the cell.
"Those who feed upon you will know what you have done to me." Though lying prone in a pool of its own black blood, it still arrogantly issued threats.
"Yeah, we'll see," Sheppard, answered lamely, his anger making his higher brain functions dull.
"Sir," Ford called out a warning from somewhere behind him. "I think we've gone a bit too far."
"I don't think we've gone far enough," he bit out coldly.
The only thing that kept John from killing the Wraith in the very next second was Dr. Weir's voice over the COM. Her words had the effect of pulling him back from that place of dark unrelenting anger.
She spoke of sacrifice and eventual success but her words eventually blurred together in his mind because there in the ghostly light of the holding cell he realized there was nothing more that could be done. The ships were still coming and everything he'd loved and fought for would be dead in a few days. He couldn't seem to embrace Elizabeth's cautious optimism.
No one spoke when the intercom cut off. What more was there to say?
"I will tell you this," the Wraith gasped between death-labored breaths. "No matter where you flee, we will find you. Just as surely as we will find Earth. And when we do, we will feast."
The last two shots fired from Major Sheppard's gun didn't surprise anyone. Neither could they mourn the passing of one so evil that it could discuss the massacre of an entire galaxy as something to be looked forward to. Bob was dead. Good riddance.
From the time Teyla and John left the Wraith dead, in the brig, events moved forward at a frightening rate. Teyla immediately left for the mainland to oversee evacuation of the Athosians and other non-essential personnel to the Alpha-Site.
There was no time to speak to John alone, no time to tell him what she'd discovered from their brief connections during the interrogation- no time to feel his lips against hers, no time to tell him again that she loved him- and trusted him- no time. She could only hope when they'd all been evacuated, she would have the chance to tell him she'd been wrong.
At this point, that was a big 'if' she reflected morosely.
It was evening by the time she and the other Athosians and non-essential personnel reached their new home and Teyla was beyond tired, so much so that there was a very good chance she'd be sleeping under the stars tonight, as she didn't have the strength to set up her tent. Haling had offered to do it for her, but she couldn't in good conscience let him, he was just as tired as she was. Pausing from her labors for a moment, she took a good look around their new home.
They could have done a lot worse. Despite the slight chill in the air, it was pleasant and dry reminding her of Athos. Unlike Athos, however, there were two very bright moons riding high in the sky, making the verdant landscape visible even at night.
In the distance to her right she could see a vast range of mountains, quite possibly the most beautiful she'd ever beheld, capped with snow. On the other side was a small clear lake beside which they'd made camp. If the Ancestor's willed, there would be fish in it and plentiful game in the woods that surrounded the glen.
Teyla closed her eyes and breathed deeply of the fresh night air, she'd missed living this close to the land. Not that she regretted her decision to stay on Atlantis she just missed parts of the life she knew before.
But if she had to, could she go back to the life she had known before John Sheppard? That was not something she wanted to contemplate.
"Hello, child," the wizened voice of her mentor sounded beside her, pulling her from her reverie.
"Charin!" Teyla turned and gently clasped the old woman's shoulders, touching her head to hers in greeting. "You do not know how I have missed you and your words of wise council!"
"And I have missed you as well." Squinting her old eyes at Teyla in the bright moonlight, Charin lifted her hand to cup the younger woman's cheek. "You look tired, Teyla- and worried."
"Yes, I am worried." Teyla reached up to grasp her teacher's hand gently in hers. "With the city of the Ancestor's defenseless, we now face an even greater threat from the Wraith."
"Yes, child, I know. But that is not what really troubles you."
Unsurprised, by her perception, Teyla had been hoping Charin would give her an opportunity to share her anxiety over leaving unfinished business with John. "Again, you know my mind."
Hooking her arm through the old woman's, Teyla looked toward the lake. "Shall we walk? It is such a beautiful night." Without waiting for a reply, she started slowly, moving Charin away from the camp.
"I have fallen in love, Charin." She glanced briefly to see any reaction.
"Yes." Charin smiled and nodded. "He is a good man, your father would approve."
Teyla let out a small surprised laugh. "How did you guess who it was?"
"One thing about being alive as long as I have," her aged voiced crackled with humor, "is you can tell what people are thinking before they say it. I only had to see you with your Major Sheppard once and I could see the way the wind blew- for both of you."
"That's why you urged me to be patient."
"Your man is a warrior Teyla, you should know that better than most and that means it will always be in his blood to...to...conquer--" Charin waved her hand toward the sky, "--the next new thing. What you have to do is wait for him understand who he's conquering it for!"
"I think it is safe to say he has already realized that." Teyla hid a small smile.
"Well then!" Charin looked at her in surprise. "Why are you still so troubled?"
"We had a misunderstanding," she said miserably. "I told him that I did not trust him and I did not have a chance to tell him I was wrong before we had to leave." Teyla stopped walking, and gazed out over the lake. "I may never get the chance to tell him now."
Charin patted the hand that was still entwined in her arm. "Oh, child, I am sorry. There is nothing that eats at your soul like regret. I will say a prayer to the Ancestors that it is not something you will have to live with."
Teyla turned and tried to smile. "Thank you Charin, I..." She didn't get to finish her thought.
"Teyla?" Dr. Weir's excited voice sounded over the radio, interrupting her conversation. "Do you copy?"
Teyla quickly clicked the radio piece in her right ear. "Yes, Doctor Weir. What is it?"
"We've had a slight change in plans." Elizabeth's voice cracked with static. "All personnel at the Alpha-Site are instructed to return to Atlantis as soon as possible.
"I do not understand." Teyla frowned.
"We've just gotten reinforcements- from Earth."
"That is very good to hear. I will do my best to get everyone back quickly. Teyla out." Clicking off her radio, she turned back to her friend and for the first time all day, Teyla felt like smiling. "The Ancestors must indeed be watching over me."
"Okay, the one thing you've gotta remember about these Jumpers is that they literally read your mind." John Sheppard stood before his small class of Jumper pilots in Atlantis' landing bay. "Most of the time that's a good thing, but you don't want it distracting your field of vision when you're trying to blow a Dart out of the sky. So stay focused on what you really need at the time."
Turning to walk to the nearest ship, situated on the lower level, John motioned for the men to follow him. "All right, let's get familiar with the controls and get you guys in the air."
As the rear hatch of Jumper five opened, he felt a flash of emotions rip though his mind. Intense sorrow coupled with fear and anxiety. John nearly doubled over under the pain of the feelings Teyla was experiencing. It wasn't the first time today that this had happened.
Bracing himself on the doorframe he took a couple of deep breaths and hoped that the other pilots didn't notice anything out of the ordinary. After a few seconds the connection weakened and dissolved all together.
"Sir?" the pilot standing next to him asked, "should we go in?"
"Yeah, go. Sorry about that. I guess my dinner didn't agree with me." None-the-wiser, the men filed in past him as he waited for his heart to quit racing.
God he hoped she was okay. Hopefully Elizabeth had done what he asked, and Teyla would be back from the Alpha-Site soon. As far as he was concerned, it wasn't soon enough. He couldn't afford to be worried sick over her; unable to control the new connection they had with one another. People's lives were at stake.
Pushing this last round of turmoil out of his mind, he determined that as soon as he was done here, he would find her. He didn't care if shut the door in his face, had to know that she was all right.
Teyla wasn't quite prepared for the scene that greeted her upon arriving back at Atlantis. Large pieces of equipment littered the large circular gate room and people she'd never seen before darted to and fro like nervous ants.
Searching the upper balcony area, she tried to locate Major Sheppard or any of the senior staff, with no success. She would just have to go find him. She did not want to waste any more time waiting to tell him about her change of heart.
Sprinting up the stairs she looked around the control room for a familiar face, glad when spotted Aiden bounding down the upper stairs.
"Teyla!" Ford's grin split his face from ear to ear. "Isn't it great? Stargate Command got our message and sent reinforcements!"
"Yes, it is wonderful, Lieutenant." Teyla returned his smile.
"And, they're sending the newest battle cruiser, the Daedalus, with a fully charged ZPM! We'll be able to power the city's shields as soon as they get here!"
Teyla was nearly speechless with relief. They finally had a chance to fight the Wraith! "The Ancestors must have heard the many prayers of my people to protect the city."
"Well, it's not here yet, it's gonna be three more days. But, yeah! You should see the guns they brought!" Ford laughed like a kid.
"I will look forward to it. I just hope it is enough to hold off the Wraith before your new ship arrives." Suddenly shy, Teyla hesitated. "Ah, Aiden, have you seen Major Sheppard? I would like very much to talk to him."
"Sure," he answered, taking Teyla's change of topic in stride. "He's training new pilots to fly the Jumpers." Ford frowned slightly. "He may be busy for a while. You might as well settle in for the night and talk to him in the morning."
"That is probably good advice, Aiden, but I am not sure I will be able to sleep any time soon. I really must talk to the Major."
"I know what you mean!" Ford's boyish enthusiasm was contagious and Teyla found herself smiling again in spite of her disappointment. "I gotta go, Teyla. I'll see you in the morning."
"Good-night, Lt. Ford."
The young Lieutenant continued on his way down the stairs and though the gate room.
Grimacing, Teyla looked around trying to decide what to do now that she would have to wait yet again to see John. Dr. Weir found her before she could make up her mind.
"Teyla! You're back. Good." Elizabeth smiled warmly and touched the younger woman's shoulder. "Did all your people make it back from the Alpha-Site safely?"
"Yes, they did, thank you."
"Good. I'm afraid it's going to be rather chaotic around here for the next several days so tell them if they need anything, they may have to fend for themselves."
"Speaking of which, Doctor. Could you explain to me exactly what will happen? How will we defend the city until the ZPM arrives?" Concern at the thought lacing her voice.
The older woman frowned sympathetically. "Oh, I wish I could, but I'm meeting with Rodney and Carson," she looked at her watch, "right now, as a matter of fact. Can I catch you up tomorrow morning?"
"Yes of course, Doctor." Weir started to walk away, but Teyla need to know one more thing. "Ah, Dr. Weir?"
Elizabeth stopped and turned around. "Yes?"
"Lt. Ford told me that Major Sheppard is training new pilots, do you know when he will finish? It is important that I speak to him."
"I believe Col. Everett said 2330, but you know the Major, if he feels the new pilots need more instruction, it could be much later than that."
"I see," Teyla said lamely. "Thank you."
"Well, see you in the morning." With that, Dr. Weir disappeared down the hallway.
Four more hours to wait, she mused dejectedly. It seemed like an eternity. She would just have to keep herself busy until it was time for him to get off duty, then she would change her clothes and wait for him in his quarters.
John was finished with Jumper training-. Finally, he thought exasperatedly. It wasn't that it was a difficult job, the guys were already top-notch pilots and easy to train. It was that John's nerves were strung tight as a bow from the combination of trying to remain calm on the outside while fighting to subdue the connection between he and Teyla on the inside. It damn near drove him over the edge. He was so tired he couldn't see straight. He had to find her. He had to do something about what she was feeling.
With that thought in mind he left the Jumper Bay as quickly as he could and headed for the nearest city Transporter that would take him to her quarters.
He arrived in record time only to find that she wasn't there. Damn.
He knew for sure that she'd come back with the other Athosians he'd confirmed it with Weir by radio on his way; so where the hell was she?
"Teyla, this is Sheppard, do you copy?"
Nothing.
"Teyla, it's John, respond."
Still nothing.
She wouldn't have turned off her radio even to sleep. Now he was worried.
"Weir, this is Sheppard."
"Yes, Major," Weir's voice crackled over the COM system.
"When was the last time anyone saw Teyla?"
"I'm not sure. Is there a problem?"
"She's not answering her radio and she's not in her quarters."
"Standby, Major, I'll ask around and get back to you." Her radio clicked off.
John stood in the hallway by Teyla's room and waited for what seemed like forever for Elizabeth to radio back. In reality it had only been a few minutes.
"John?" Weir's voice sounded in his ear.
"Go ahead."
"Haling said she retired for the night about forty-five minutes ago, he hasn't seen her since."
"Okay, thanks. I'm sure it's nothing, but I'm going to try and find her."
"Copy that, Weir out."
Where the hell was she? Granted she didn't know he'd be looking for her, but the fact that she didn't have her radio on had him concerned. Where would she have gone?
Teyla was starting to get desperate sitting alone on John's bed. It was well past midnight now and still he hadn't come back. What if he were to be out all night training? Then she'd never have the chance to talk to him. Mild panic ran though her heart at the thought. She had to talk to him.
Panic. There it was again, only this time it wasn't hers, it was John's. He was worried out of his mind for her. She had to find him, now.
Jumping up from the bed she bolted for the door as she called out to him in her mind and felt the now familiar connection form instantly. Where was he?
Suddenly, in her head she saw the balcony over-looking the ocean on the East pier. That's where he was.
"Where are you?' she felt rather than heard John's voice in her head.
'Your room,' she thought back to him.
'Stay there.' was his answer.
It hadn't occurred to John that he could get through to her with their newfound connection. It sure would have been a hell of a lot easier if he had. Thankfully she had, most likely in response to the moment of panic he'd felt when he didn't find her on the pier.
It was one of her favorite places to be when she was off duty and he was so sure she'd be there that when she wasn't he felt a moment of helplessness because with a city this big, he had no idea where to look next.
Well now that he knew where she was he wouldn't waste any more time thinking about why and how. John made his way to his quarters in record time.
There are moments in everyone's life when time seems to move more slowly, every sight, sense and sound absorbed, imprinted. John had always attributed this phenomenon to the mind's infinite capacity to know instinctively those times that were so special they merited a unique kind of memory storage. One that could be recalled at will in perfect detail.
The first few moments that occurred when he entered his quarters proved to be just that kind of experience.
Things like, the look of love and relief on Teyla's face when he came through the door; the warm glow of low light in his quarters; the smell of the ocean through the open window; the barely there amber colored night-clothes she was wearing, to name but a few.
As time gradually returned to normal John's sage green eyes met Teyla's cocoa brown ones in intimate primal communication across the small space between his door, where he stood, and his bed, where she waited. Transfixed, they walked toward one another, closing the gap. Then as if by some pre-ordained signal, he engulfed her delicate frame in his and they melded seamlessly into one another's arms, lips fusing together in a passionately explosive kiss.
John's kiss was devouring, almost punishing in its intensity, but he couldn't help himself. The hours of straining to contain his worry and anguish for her combined with the protective rage he'd felt when he killed the Wraith prisoner, busted free and found its expression in their kiss. She really was all right and he was starving for the feel of her body next to his, his lips on hers.
Teyla's lips felt deliciously bruised and battered from John's overflow of passion. She was being consumed bit by bit and she reveled in it. This was John, her love, her protector, her warrior; she strained with all that was in her to let him know she understood his need.
The flame building between them was bright and irresistible, daring them to plunge in and be fuel for the fire. Thankfully for them both, some shred of rationality in John's passion drugged brain remembered his promise to her that he wouldn't touch her till she was ready to trust him again.
Against the will of every painfully aroused cell in his body John pulled his lips from hers and gently set her from him.
"Sorry," he managed, still slightly out of breath. "I... promised..."
Teyla's gentle fingers on his lips effectively silenced anything more he could say. "John," she whispered his name like a caress, "it is all right."
"But I thought you wanted..."
Again Teyla interrupted before he could finish his thought.
"When the Wraith invaded my mind during the interrogation and tried to cripple me, your emotional reaction was so powerful that I felt what you felt. Exactly what you felt."
Not sure what to say or how to feel about that level of exposure, John remained silent.
"I had not thought it was possible for you to love me as I love you. I thought you would always put your mission and its concerns ahead of me. I am ashamed to say I mistrusted you because of it." Teyla looked away, avoiding his eyes.
A multitude of different things rushed though John's mind as he thought about her words, not the least of which was relief. He supposed he should have felt insulted that she didn't believe he was capable of loving her selflessly, but for some reason it just didn't matter all that much. Not nearly as much as the knowledge that she trusted him again.
Hell, if she'd done some of the things he did and he had little or no explanation as to why, he had to admit he'd probably have felt the same mistrust. In the end he really couldn't blame her for coming to that conclusion.
It also spoke volumes to him that she'd been beside herself obsessing over whether or not she'd get a chance to tell him about her change of mind. John had first hand knowledge of her inner emotions and knew what it meant to her to repair their relationship.
Of course it didn't hurt that she was head over heels in love with him either. That was one message he never got tired of getting.
Pulling her close again, John gently caressed her cheek and tilted her face till he could see her eyes. "Teyla, despite what you might have thought, too many of my decisions are made by thinking about how it will affect you. If Command, or Elizabeth for that matter, had any idea, I'd be out of a job."
Tendrils of desire stirred once more at his words lifting gooseflesh across her arms. Teyla shivered delicately and rested her hands on his broad chest. "I was afraid that I would never have the chance to tell you how wrong I had been. I would never have forgiven myself."
"Well, now, I know. That's all that matters."
"You can forgive me so easily?" she asked, half jokingly, quirking up the ends of her lips in a sexy little pout.
"Well..." he seemed to consider with mock seriousness, "maybe you're right. Yeah, on second thought, I think you'd better give me some 'incentive'" he paused, running his hand over her ass by way of demonstration, "to wipe the entire thing out of my mind."
A slow sexy smile diffused over Teyla's face causing John's simmering arousal to burst into full flame again.
"What did you have in mind?" she asked provocatively dragging her fingertips up and down his bare arm.
"I think this will do for a start," his voice husky and low, "then we'll just work up from there," he finished, just before his lips descended on hers.
The heightened desire racing from one to the other over their now active connection rendered her incapable of commenting further, but then again, she did not really care. Teyla had every intention of making love to John Sheppard till neither of them could see straight and words were definitely not necessary.
When John could move, he gently rolled over and pulled Teyla into his arms, guiding her head down till it was pillowed on his chest.
Sighing contentedly, she hooked a leg over his and placed a hand over his heart.
"Do, you have any idea how much I love you?" John asked dropping a kiss on her forehead.
Angling her face up, their lips met in tender promise.
"I think I might, since I love you just as much." Teyla smiled up to him with that half smile he loved so much.
"Too bad the world may be ending in a few days." He sighed, his natural sarcasm returning.
"Do we not have a chance to succeed now that your people have sent reinforcements and a ship?"
"I won't lie to you, Teyla, the odds on this one are still only about fifty- fifty. Better, if the Daedalus can get here in time."
"Well, whatever the odds or the outcome, we will fight together." Her leg tightened on his protectively.
"The Wraith don't stand a chance then." He said playfully, rubbing his hands up and down her supple back.
Teyla thought to reply, but his kiss prevented it. It looked like she wouldn't be getting much sleep tonight. Ah, well, what else was new? At least it was more pleasant than Wraith induced nightmares.
"Again?" she asked with mock incredulity
"And again," John purred sexily, "and again," his kisses became more passionate. "And..."
Eventually, there was nothing left to say.
EPILOGUE
Looking back on the events of the last month, Teyla found it hard to believe that things turned out as well as they did. Not only did they defeat the armada of Wraith ships, due to John's brilliant out of the box thinking, they ensured they wouldn't be bothered for a long time to come.
Very few of her people lost their lives in the fight, only the missing Aiden Ford could mar the hopeful outlook for the future. The city had full power, and more help - she couldn't ask for anything more.
It was difficult for Teyla to be separated from John when he made the trip to his home, but there was no way for her to have gone with him. Atlantis department heads only, no exceptions. Besides, if his weekly communications back to Atlantis were any indication, she could look forward to a very passion starved warrior when he returned. In fact he mentioned something about not letting her out of bed for two days.
That was definitely a good way to look at their forced separation. And after all, she'd learned, it was always healthy to have another perspective.
END