6/28
I've been sitting by the phone all day. It's driving me crazy. I had to get you, Nbook, or I'd probably go insane.
I'm at breakfast, and the first thing I ask is if I've gotten any phone calls. No, no, no. Nada. Nothing. Zip. Zero. And we haven't gotten any calls since.
Well, not true. One wrong number. Big Tooth Lover Boy. Mami's cousin. WHY DOES EVERYONE HAVE TO BE ON THE PHONE TODAY?
Luckily Mami and Papi have been great about keeping their calls short. Saint Isabel probably wouldn't have, but she's been at work all day. I told Big Tooth Lover Boy to call her there. She can tie up someone else's phone line.
Last night I talked to Rico about the Bash, even though I really wanted to talk about how he and Claudia are getting along. He caught on very quickly. He's very perceptive. For a guy.
"Claud and I went out again last night. Since we don't have grueling practices anymore," he remarks.
"Only until we get in. Then it's horrible spending time with your friends doing what you love every night of the week," I reply. Of course I get him off the subject I REALLY want to talk about. Which is typical of me.
We talk some more, but never get back onto the subject of Claudia. Besides, I'm being nosy. Claudia and I are becoming pretty good friends, if she wants to tell me, she will. He's acting like they've been together for ages, and it's normal and casual and fine. But who knows with boys?
Until I can talk to Claud I'll
5 minutes later...
Sorry about that, Nbook. Phone rang. Magazine subscription. I had to practically yell at them to tell them that I didn't want their stupid magazine, and the phone needed to be free.
It's after three. Does that mean that we're not in? Am I simply stuck waiting all day until it finally sets in that we're not in? We did great. Maggie was perfect, even though she doesn't think so, but she never does (Note to self: Continue to boost Maggie's ego. She deserves it).
Oh, I totally forgot about this. After I'm off the phone with Rico, Mami comes into my room and asks me what I want for my birthday.
My birthday? I'd completely forgotten that my fourteenth birthday was so close. I told her that whatever she got was fine, but I dropped the names of a few CDs, and mentioned that I liked those jeans in the window of the Style Shack. Parents hate it when you actually tell them what you want, but tell them whatever is fine. You have to be subtle.
Really what I want for my birthday is for Vanish to get into the Bash. Not that Mami can get that for me, but it's worth a shot.
It's the phone again. Cross your fingers, Nbook. Well, you don't have fingers... nevermind.
AUGHHHH! OH MY GOD! HOLY CRAP! YESSSSSSS!
VANISH IS GOING TO BE PLAYING AT THE 4TH OF JULY BASH!
$300. Exposure.
This is it. This will be Vanish's big break. Everyone in Palo City will hear and know the name VANISH.
I have to call Maggie. And Rico. And Bruce. And EVERYONE.
Later
Everyone is just as excited as I am. And now I have a zillion things to do. Coordinating outfits? What songs should they play? We have a forty-five minute set. We have more than enough songs for that. Should we write new songs? Or just keep the classics?
The Bash guy told me that we're going on third - right before the national band. Which is a HUGE DEAL. Maggie said on the phone that they put on the best band they heard LAST. As to sound the best next to the national band. Still no clue on who that band IS. She also said that it was a surprise.
I'M SO EXCITED!
6/29
Breathe, Vargas. You don't have to deal with that creep anymore.
I thought this was over. I thought I didn't have to deal with this anymore. I thought he moved on.
I'm innocently sitting at practice. Claud is sitting next to me drawing a picture of the band. Her drawing is amazing. And it's just a sketch! Remember the New Year's picture I drew? Nothing like it, every picture actually looks like the guys.
The guys are playing This is War and they sound fantastic. Even if they're already IN the Bash, they need to sound better than ever. And they do. After the Bash, I'm planning on giving them a vacation. If we don't have a billion record deals coming in from every which way.
I'm writing down possible set lists for the Bash to bring up to the band, and suddenly the music stops. I look up, wondering what the matter was. Before I conceive that someone else has walked into the garage, Rico says, "What are you doing here?"
Finally, I look over, and there's James standing in the doorway.
I stand up, and Rico and Bruce are already taking off their guitars. I suppose not to damage them when they get into a fist fight.
"Hey, I'm not looking for a fight," James says. "I saw you guys at the Bash auditions."
"Who are you stalking now?" Bruce snaps.
"No one. My band auditioned too."
"Your band? I ask despite myself. I wasn't going to say anything unless he spoke to me, but I was surprised.
He looks at me. "Hey, Amalia. And, yeah, my band. We just got together a couple weeks back. No big school shows or anything just yet."
"Found any girls for stalking in it?" Rico asks nastily.
James makes this growling sound in the back of his throat, but replies in this forced calm voice, "No, Rico. I haven't."
"What are you doing here?" I ask.
"I heard you guys got in. I thought I'd come over to congratulate you."
"We accept, now leave," Bruce says.
James backs up a step and looks at me. "Amalia, can I talk to you outside?"
My first thought is to tell him that he can talk to me when Hell freezes over, but he's been pretty okay. Besides, I'm not blinded by him anymore. I can handle myself now. I put down my set list, and start to walk over to him.
"Amalia," Justin says in a very careful voice.
I look at him and smile. James gives him a very dirty look, but I choose to ignore it.
"If there's any problems, we're just inside," Rico says.
"I know," I reply. I go outside with James. It's really weird. I remember standing just outside the Chavez's garage where James said he loved me. And where he almost hit me.
"What is it?" I ask. I try to be cool, to let him know that I'm not taking his crap.
He doesn't seem to respond to the tone of my voice. "I was wondering if you knew anyone who would manage my band. You've really sent Vanish up. I thought if you knew anyone who could compare to you, it would be great. Or if, you know, you had time... just to help out an old friend."
"For one thing, I'm not your friend. You were never a friend to me. And, no, I don't have time. I'm really busy. I don't know anyone who would want to do it. It takes up a lot of my time, and everyone knows how hectic my life is."
He sighs. "Oh well, it was worth a shot. So, uh, how are things going with, uh, Brandon."
"Brendan," I correct. "And things are going great. He's at camp for the summer."
"So you hooked up with Justin for the summer?"
"What? No, where did you get that idea?"
James shrugs. "Rumors go around. I didn't believe it anyway. Justin's a fag."
"Excuse me?" I snap.
"You know Nancy? His ex? She's a back-up singer. She told all of us. By the time school starts, everyone will know he's a fudgepacker."
He called him something else that I'm not going to stain your pages with, but let's just say that things that are written here are NOTHING compared to it. I was feeling pretty sick at this point. Then it got worse.
"You don't know anything, James. Just shut up," I say, turning away from him.
He grabs my arm and pulls me over to him. "Don't turn away from me!"
"Don't touch me!" I screech (yes, Nbook, it was a screech). Then I actually slap him across the face.
He shakes me, gripping my arm even harder, as I struggle to pull away from him. I start screaming horrible obscenities that I've only heard Isabel use while driving before, and then Rico, Bruce, and Justin run outside and pull James off of me.
I sort of blocked out what happened after that. The next thing I remember is Maggie and Claud standing on either side of me. Maggie looks as pale as a ghost and has her arm around my shoulder and Claud is holding onto my hand. Rico, Bruce, and Justin are beating the crap out of James. Patti is screaming at them to stop.
I felt frozen. What happened? Everything was going all right for a minute there. It was the James monster. Dr Nice Guy and Mr. Asshole. It was so typical. The two faces of James. I can't believe that for a moment I thought, I hoped, that all he wanted was a lead on a manager. It can't just be that. It has to be so much more. It has to be about me and him. I thought he was over it. I know I was over a long time ago.
"Stop it!" I yell.
Of course, I'm as successful as Patti at this. They keep beating him up. James is a big guy, but he's nothing against three fairly skinny guys.
I pull away from Maggie and Claud and try to pull the guys off of James. Patti helps me, and finally they stop. Patti is literally holding Bruce back. James has what looks like a broken nose, and his mouth is bleeding. Both of his eyes look like they're going to end up black.
James stands up and looks at me. "Still not fighting your own battles, huh, Amalia?"
I don't reply.
He turns and SPITS on Justin and huffs away before anyone can react.
"Justin! Are you okay?" I ask, running over to him. I know what that's like. I wouldn't wish it on anyone, let alone my own friend.
He's completely stone faced. "Yeah," he replies, sounding hoarse. His nose is bleeding from the fight, and he still hasn't wiped away the spit from his face. I do it myself, because no one deserves that.
"I'm going to kill him," Bruce says. Patti isn't holding him back, but she's still holding onto him. She looks nervous, probably because he sounds so serious.
"It's okay," Justin says. "Are you all right, Amalia?"
"I'm fine." My arm is bruised from where he grabbed me. Other than realizing that I can NEVER trust him, I'm fine. I wanted to trust him. I wanted to believe that he changed. But he didn't, and I don't think he's ever going to. He has a serious rage problem, and I'm not going to be a victim of it again. It hurts even more because I let my friends be a victim too.
I can't write anymore, Nbook. I'm so angry, and I feel so stupid. I hate him.