YYH Road Trip

Solaris: No own YYH. Read on, peeps!

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It was a little past midnight of the first day (A/N: Yes, it took three chapters to get through one day of this thing, but it's not a set rate.) and our heroes were in an RV camp that Foxglove had steered them into. She had taken over driving when Solaris almost swerved off the road. Hiei had claimed the backseat of the car, Foxglove had just reclined the passenger seat and fallen asleep there, and Kurama and Solaris slept in the two beds of the camper. Solaris was in a deep sleep, so when the camper door opened, it hardly registered with her. About 12:25, she heard a noise and sat up, thinking that it was Kurama getting a midnight snack. The light in the mini fridge threw the figure in front of it into shadow, so all Solaris could see was fox ears and all she could do was assume the worst.

"OH MY GOD, WE'RE BEING ATTACKED BY GIANT KIRBYS AND ONE OF THEM ATE FOXGLOVE!" she screamed in hysterics. Kurama sat up, half asleep and rubbing his ears. When Solaris wanted to, she could really scream, and she had wanted to. Since Kurama was only 4 or 5 feet away from her in the other bed of the camper, he had gotten it full blast.

"What is it, Sol-Sol-Solaris?" Kurama asked, yawning as he said her name.

"A giant Kirby has invaded the camper and eaten my poor muse!" Solaris sobbed. Kurama came over to comfort her just as the blob turned around.

"Uh, I'm just getting a midnight snack." Foxglove said, holding a half- eaten sandwich in one hand and a soda in the other. Solaris still didn't stop sobbing, so Kurama tapped her on the head hard enough to snap her out of it. "As I was saying, I'm getting a midnight snack. And we're almost out of food."

"How many of those have you eaten? I thought Solaris packed over 50 of those." Kurama said. Hiei wandered in about that time. Solaris's shout of something about a giant furby had woken him up from a dream about decapitating the teletubbies and that clown and doll from that show about the couch.

"About, oh, 20, I think." Foxglove said as she drank more of the soda. Solaris got that dangerous look in her eye as Foxglove polished off the rest of her sandwich and soda.

"20! YOU ATE 20 FREAKING SANDWICHES! A BIT EXCESSIVE DON'T YOU THINK?" Solaris shouted. Kurama, once again, got it full blast. Foxglove shrugged, threw away the soda can and stretched. Hiei just grabbed her ear and pulled her away, mumbling something like 'get back to the car and go to sleep, I want to see if I succeeded in decapitating that damn doll...' Solaris, however, didn't cease her shouting.

"THAT'S RIGHT, RUN LIKE THE COWARD YOU ARE, FOXGLOVE! I WILL GET YOU BACK FOR EATING ALMOST ALL OF OUR SANDWICHES!" she shouted, then looked to the open fridge. "WE HAVE NO MORE FOOD, YOU EVIL THING YOU! I AM SO GOING TO GET YOU BACK FOR THIS YOU LITTLE DEMON! WAIT, I CAN'T CALL YOU THAT SINCE TECHNICALLY WE'RE ALL DEMONS, BUT WHO GIVES A DAMN? I'LL GET YOU!"

Kurama sat and patiently waited for her shouting fit to subside. When it didn't, Kurama slapped her across the face hard enough to stop her, but not hard enough to slap her out of her half-asleep state. "We can handle this in the morning. For now, let's get some sleep." he suggested, closing the mini fridge on his way to his bed. Solaris sat up for a while after that, mumbling about how dead Foxglove was going to be when she caught her in the morning and used her 'whooping lotus spinning punch' or something like that on her. Kurama put up with it for about 15 minutes, then threw his pillow at the ticked off foxgirl and yelled "SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP SOLARIS!" Solaris did. The other campers heaved a sigh of relief. The first scream had woken them up and the continued irate shouts from two other parties hadn't helped.

Meanwhile in the car, Hiei heaved a sigh of relief. He had almost gotten back to his dream about conquering the world by decapitating the characters from all those shows on regular TV in the morning and afternoons. Every morning he thanked Kami-Sama that Solaris had satellite and, when she beat him over the head every morning with whatever plushie she happened to have her hand on when Hiei's loud rock music straight off of MTV woke her up, he took it back. It was another thing that he missed about Solaris's house in Tokyo. Foxglove sighed, mumbled something about being too full to eat anymore, and rolled over in the passenger seat of the car. Hiei briefly considered yelling 'you ought to be, you ate all our food,' but he reconsidered. If she woke up, she might ask if she could cuddle with him until she fell asleep again. She had done it before.

Flashback:

Hiei had been in a deep sleep, dreaming of the death of certain stalking fox demons that were at the least a thorn in his side. Suddenly the phone rang, startling him out of his slumber. Solaris had seen fit to put a phone in every occupied room. Using his Jagan eye, he saw Solaris turn over, turn off the ringer on her French style rotary phone she had found at a yardsale for 10 bucks, watched as Kurama, who was spending the night, unplugged the cord from the actual microphone part of the speakerphone in his room, and he watched Foxglove pick up the phone, listen for a second, then he heard her shout.

"WE DON'T WANT ANY!" she shouted. Hiei sighed, finally it was sleep time. But his dream was never to be realized. Just then Foxglove entered his room. As always she looked surprised at his room and the accumulation of black items therein, but she got over it pretty quick.

"Hiei, can I sleep in here tonight? I can't sleep in my room for the phone ringing off the damn hook." Foxglove asked. It was Hiei's turn to be surprised; Foxglove had never cursed to his knowledge before.

"Pick that word up from Solaris?" he asked in shock.

"Yes. And a few others too, which I'm sure you don't want to hear. So can I sleep in here with you or not?" Foxglove asked, now having shocked Hiei wide awake.

"Hm... NO." Hiei declared angrily. The muse had totally changed his opinion of her, and it was not for the better. Hiei hated that, especially the opinion changing part, since his normal course of action would be to remove the offender in a violent way. If he did that to Foxglove, Solaris would boot him out of the house so fast his head would spin.

"Please?"

"No."

"Pleeease?"

"NO." This routine repeated for about five minutes until a very irritated Solaris entered the room behind her muse, one of the more colorful things in the room due to her red oriental robe with the light petal pink collar of her nightshirt above it.

"Okay, one, I feel like I have just walked into a black hole, and two, let her stay in here so she'll shut the hell up and let me get some rest, god dammit." Solaris said, very bitchy (another word Hiei had heard fall from her lips, often to describe herself.) in the early AM. Hiei shut up and scooted over on the bed to let Foxglove lie down. Solaris nodded, looking for the entire world like a very royal personage.

"Stupid princess attitude of that annoying fox girl...as if one isn't enough." Hiei muttered. Solaris's ears twitched at that insult and she somehow summoned a crowbar to beat Hiei over the head with. It went something like the following:

"Stupid, -thud- insulting, -thud- fire -thud- youkai, -thud- always -thud- gotta -thud- be -thud- dissing -thud- the one -thud- nice enough -thud- to give him -thud- a room -thud- in her home...-thud- " and so it went. Finally, after she had released all her tension and Hiei had about a billion bumps on his head, she made the crowbar vanish and stood with one hand on her hip, the other in the air and her head turned to face it, a victoriously arrogant expression on her face, something you didn't see often. "And that is how I win this. Don't forget that I am the princess of this home. Go on, Foxglove. Go to sleep so I can get some rest already." Foxglove smiled, laid down way too close to Hiei for his comfort, but since he was half unconscious, he couldn't care less. Solaris nodded and left the room.

"Stupid fox girl..." Hiei mumbled. Solaris darted back, crowbar raised threateningly.

"You know, I have this and I have a steel pipe, not to mention a broom handle and several other blunt objects at my disposal. I can always beat you to a bloody pulp if you bug me." she said. Hiei muttered a garbled 'no thanks' and passed out.

End Flashback

Of course, Foxglove chose that moment to wake up. "Hiei, can I sleep back there with you?" she asked. Hiei, knowing that if he said no, Solaris would storm out of the camper and beat him over the head with something (and that was not an experience he wanted to repeat, thank you!) until he was unconscious. So he just sighed, unlocked his door and nodded. "Yay!" Foxglove cried as she hopped out of the car to join him. You could practically see the hearts surrounding her as she leaned on him and fell asleep right away. Hiei sighed and tried to recall what he had been dreaming just as he drifted off to sleep.

The next morning, Solaris actually woke up early. Her rustling around for something to eat woke Kurama. He looked at his watch, it was about 7:30 in the morning. "Solaris, it's 7:30. Why are you awake? For as long as I've known you, I've had trouble getting you out of bed before 9." he mumbled. She gave him the pillow back, which had lain on the floor since he threw it at her the previous night.

"I never said you had to wake up at 7:30. I've just adopted a habit to get myself into shape again. I wake up, do some stretches and deep breathing exercises, and sometimes practice kendo. I left my sword at home, so kendo is out, but I can take an early morning run to the store instead of that." she smiled, then took out her wallet. "Uh, I have a grand total of, uh, one dollar and 23 cents. Do you have any I could borrow?" she blushed. Kurama pulled his wallet out from the bed and looked inside.

"Uh, will a buck 80 help any?" he asked. Solaris sighed and began stretching her arms.

"Well, I guess that unless Hiei has about 20 clams on him, we're in deep trouble. And I'm sure he doesn't. I know for a fact that Foxglove is always broke, the freeloader. Time for my good old standby!" Solaris cried in glee.

"Dare I ask what it is?" Kurama sighed.

"I will pick a few pockets on my morning run! I have recently mastered this technique!" she smiled brightly. Kurama sweatdropped.

"How do you know that you've mastered this technique?" he asked.

"Recall that 20 dollars you lost a few days ago?" Solaris grinned. (A/N: I can't translate American currency into yen, so you'll just have to make do with the American until I learn.)

"Yeah, I remember." he nodded with regret. "Wait, don't tell me that was you?"

"Okay then, I won't tell you." Solaris smiled as she began stretching her legs and hamstrings in preparation for the run. Kurama sighed, deciding to follow her to make sure she didn't get herself caught. She changed to her human disguise, told Kurama to wait outside for a minute, then reemerged in a pair of red shorts, a white tank top and a red net jacket, small backpack on her back and red jogging shoes on. She smiled at him and dashed off before he could say a word. Kurama quickly changed to a different outfit and followed her.

As he watched, he had to admit she was pretty good. Her technique was to "accidentally" bump into some person and rifle their wallet or purse while the person was distractedly looking around. That is, she was doing great until she bumped into a random guy who caught her and tried to pull her close. Kurama got very angry for some reason, all of the sudden. He tried to get closer and saw her smiling brightly, as if she liked the guy. This ticked Kurama off even more, so he finally got close enough to hear what they were saying.

"Come on, we can go to my place for breakfast." the random guy smiled, hitting on Solaris to the extent of his abilities (which were pretty good). Solaris never dropped that bright smile.

"Do you want me to break your thumbs?" she asked pleasantly, as if she were asking 'would you like one lump of sugar or two in your coffee?'

"I cook really well." the guy wheedled. Solaris still smiled, it was creeping him out now.

"Do you want me to break your thumbs and shout out 'rapist'? Because I will you know." she grinned, still keeping the pleasant tone to her voice. Kurama had known she was an actress, but of this caliber? He hadn't been sure.

"Me? A rapist? Why would you think that?" the guy asked, a touch nervous. This girl had a relentless smile and spoke of dreadful things in a tone that for the entire world sounded as if she were talking about the beautiful weather.

"Well, in case you can't tell, I'm only 16, and you look about, uh, 19 or 20, 21 at the most. So it'd be rape. I could keep quiet about this you know..." Solaris grinned. The random guy blinked and began to beg.

"Anything! You name it!" he pleaded. Solaris held out a hand.

"50 bucks. Take it or leave it." she smiled. The man hauled out his wallet and gave her the 50 dollars she had demanded, then ran from the girl with the relentless smile. Kurama went to join her as she snickered and counted the cash in her hand. "25, 75, 85, 100! All right! Moolah!" she smiled quietly. The 16 –year old fox boy stared from the money to the girl.

"How on earth... Oh, never mind. You were really risking it back there! What if he had tried to rape you?" Kurama asked.

"I'd have kicked his arse from here to Timbuktu." Solaris stated simply. Knowing her, she would have, too.

"Okay, but I thought you never could say 'rapist' or 'rape' without blushing for saying something so vulgar." he sighed, wondering what had happened to the innocent Solaris of yesteryear. She smiled at him.

"Hey, I had to grow up sometime. Might as well use this big vocabulary of mine, after all, what's the point of having it if you don't use it?" she answered. Kurama sighed.

"That was a very dangerous thing you did back there! Don't ever do it again, I don't want to see my gir- I mean, my friend, raped." he said. Solaris smiled, she knew exactly what he had intended to say.

"Don't be jealous, my dear Kurama. I don't go for his type anyway. Too cocky." she smiled as she continued her trek to the store. Upon her return, she cooked breakfast for everyone (after finding a place to take a shower of course!) and they set off for their unknown destination once again.

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Whew! Long chapter, eh? But it was a really funny one if you ask me. Well, I'm still taking applications, and now I need votes for something! I'm considering bringing the twins from chapter 2 back in at some point in time, and I'm seriously thinking about bringing the random guy who Solaris conned 50 bucks out of from this chapter back too. So tell me what you think of it and please send in those applications! Ja Ne!

(PS: I know it seems like Kurama and Solaris are more than just friends. To tell you the truth... Aw, hell, it IS true! It's just that neither will admit they like the other! There, happy now that you dragged that confession out of me? What's next, my shoe size? What my fave food is? Where I go swimming? -Continues hysterical listing of increasingly ridiculous things until Foxglove subdues with a well-placed hit with a mallet-

Foxglove: She'll be conscious in time to write the next chapter in this insane fic. Please read, review, vote, send in an application, or question us about hidden meanings. This girl wants to know that there are people out there who actually READ this fic. Just, please, don't get her started on true confessions again. I know when she wakes up I won't hear the end of this...)