She was lost, drifting deeper into the unknown. She tried to remember, a Rancor, a fight, a claw.

HOW STUPID, she thought. How could one of the most basic threats become such a problem? She had been foolish. Seeing the children in such danger had brought out some instinct in her that had left her careless. She had charged without thought to her safety, only to the children, and for that she had misjudged a final claw. And now here she was. How could she have forsaken her own safety, it was paramount to the safety of the children, and the galaxy.

She felt waves of embarrassment, an emotion that should not have even been playing a role in her thoughts. If this is it, if I fail, for such a careless and stupid reason, if I let everyone down due to my own clouded judgments …

But this wouldn't be the first time she realized. She had already done that, back before everyone had hailed the crew of the Ebon Hawk as heroes. AFTER Carth had proclaimed his love for her. She had been foolish, left her guard down, left her judgment get clouded.

…

"You cannot defeat me here Revan, I am strong here and I have the dark side." Malak had claimed.

She had not been as strong as she thought, using medpac after medpac. She kept trying to find a way to destroy the lives Malak was feeding off, the ones who replenished his health as quickly as she lost hers.

She had been close, so close she could almost feel his doubt. She let out another blast of force power, hoping to slow him, while she pumped herself up with stims. She ran, hoping to gain enough distance to release another force blow but her powers were weakening. And then, he let out a blast of lightning that took her down, down to all fours, down to the abyss. When she came to he was kneeling next to her. Saying something that seemed so remote it couldn't possibly be true.

"I loved you once. As much, if not more than you loved me. To this day I still want you, but now I know that we both cannot exist together."

His words were fading in and out. Her focus was becoming cloudy. Where was she? What was happening?

"I love you" she heard the words and Carth's face began to materialize. "I would have done anything for you."

Would have? Am I dead? she thought. And then she saw him, kneeling beside her, looking down at her so lovingly. He took her hand into his and said something about the future. It wasn't clear, nothing was clear. She couldn't think. Carth.

"I love you"

Carth?

Carth, Is that you?

"I would have been anything you asked. I would have loved you until the end of the galaxy. And I still do, and I still will. Revan … "

The figure leaned down closer, she could feel it's weight upon her.

"Carth?"

And then … nothing.

--------------------------

No wait, I was fighting Malak.

She had drifted, to a place where the only thing she saw was herself, standing alone. And beyond, in the distance, the galaxy she knew. What did it mean? Where am I?

Then a laugh, a bellowing laugh that brought her from that place. She regained some focus and looked up to see Malak, metallic jaw moving in a way that no mechanical thing should ever display. He was laughing. That sick, sinister excuse for a being was laughing at her, like he had won.

She was on her feet before she even finished her thoughts. Propelled by a force that was not of her own bidding, or was it? Something in her was angry, VERY angry. She felt violated, she felt incomplete. She felt mad as a Rancor!

She lashed out while his jaw was still moving in that unnatural way.

"Uhhh" he cried out, caught completely off-guard by her quick and violent actions.

"Yes, feel the hate, feel the anger. Feel the dark-side" He cried.

"NOOoooooooooooooo" was all that came from her as she let loose into a flurry that she herself would not have been able to deflect. Blow after blow, without a rest, without a thought. She just kept flurrying in such a frenzy she was making herself dizzy.

She was still slashing at him as the doors opened and Carth and Jolee rushed to her side.

"Is it over?" she asked, fatigue, emotion and inner turmoil rolling around her aura with such an intensity that not even Jolee could maintain composure.

"It's okay beautiful, don't worry. I'll get you out of here, I'll be with you until the end of the galaxy" Carth assured her.

For some reason, those words made her shudder. And then she went limp in his arms, the battle finally coming to take it's toll.

…