(A/N: Hey look at this, a SUPER EARLY update…I didn't like some of the comments I heard about Eriol being gay. What the hell is wrong with that? I really don't appreciate when you guys act all immature and go "eewww he's a fag" Come on guys, get mature. Seriously. I REALLY get pissed off when people say that. Other than that, thank you all for your reviews! You guys make writing worth it. Oh yeh, hehe Sakura will be redundant in using "sofa king stupid" in here. )

Disclaimer: I don't own CCS and I really don't why I keep putting this up

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Chapter Fourteen

First Kiss(es)?

-Sakura-

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Eriol was kissing me.

It took a moment for the information to register in my mind and the shock could numb me. I started squirming right away.

He pinned my arms down, and deepened the kiss. My first kiss! The little bastard! Why does he say something and then contradict himself by doing the opposite? Can you say two-faced?

"Eriol! Stop!" I mumbled against his lips. He tasted nasty, like cigarettes. I wondered how Tomoyo could stand him! I then felt even guiltier. Here I was allegedly supposed to go help her out, but instead am kissing her boyfriend. Well, I wasn't kissing him, he was kissing me! The so fucking stupid asshole.

Think Sakura, think. His arms had me pinned against the wall, and I was practically trapped. I lifted my leg to knee him in his family jewels when I heard a familiar voice.

" Eriol get a room to do that." The angry, hurt voice sneered. His voice was the perfect imitation of how mine would sound if I were in a position to talk.

Finally he let go off me, giving me room to breathe. He wiped his mouth, and looked at Syaoran, through heavy lidded eyes. "We're already in a room."

Syaoran snorted at the stupid response, and I noticed his amber eyes burning…with anger? Hurt? I was too busy being angry, because that's when I regained my breath.

"What the fuck did you fucking think you were doing to me, you mother-fucker? God. You are so fucking stupid! Why would you do that? " I was huffing when I finished. My senses were dizzy, my stomach felt sick, and my lips, my poor virgin lips had just been raped. They started swell from his pressure, and I could feel tears stinging at the back of my eyes. I let a growl erupt through my throat. I didn't know whether I was sad or angry now.

Eriol looked at me with an unreadable expression painted in his eyes and then turned to Syaoran who was watching us both a curious expression, his anger forgotten suddenly.

Then it got really ugly.

"Eriol, I never knew you to be the kind of guy who forced himself on girls. Gee, either you must be desperate cause you haven't got laid in a while, or you're losing your touch."

I froze at his words. Syaoran, his best friend, didn't know that Eriol was gay? But he told me? This confused me. Why wouldn't Eriol tell his best friend? Was Eriol afraid of Syaoran shunning him for his difference? I couldn't answer this because I didn't think I knew Syaoran well enough to.

Eriol however swung around to face Syaoran with a cool smile.

"Cool it man, you're just mad I got to her before you could. Maybe it's you who should get laid." Syaoran growled and my chest tightened. What did he imply by "before you could?" I decided I didn't like this one bit. And they were starting to talk about me as if I were not present.

"Wait a second. You're the one who raped my virgin lips! I demand an explanation and an apology right now!" I cut in, stepping between them, not knowing the consequence of my actions. My eyes flashed.

Eriol stiffened and glared at me with his cold navy blue eyes. I shuddered. Things were getting scarier by the second. However, I was too angry to stop.

"Bitch," He whispered at me under his breath. "Move."

Then suddenly I noticed something I didn't before. Staring directly into his orbs, I discovered his eyes were heavy with something. Something I wasn't accustomed to seeing considering my naivety of this part of life.

It was something…something quite like lust. But as I followed his heated glare, learning it was not to me, it was a frustrated stare towards…

Syaoran?

And before I could stop the jealousy rising in my throat, I hissed back at him low enough so only he could hear. "Fag."

His eyes widened considerably and for a moment I thought he was either going to cry or hit me. I didn't know, but I really couldn't find out. I couldn't stay in this tension-heated place any longer. It was too much for me to be in the same room as a guy who was cowardly.

"Screw you…" I sneered again before turning on my heel, heading out the door, and slamming their room shut behind me.

God.

Was this what Tomoyo had to go through every day?

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Absentmindedly as I headed to the Silva Girl's dorms, I touched my bruised lips. I winced immediately.

Fucking bastard.

This wasn't at all what I expected, but then again I didn't know what to expect. What was I thinking? Nothing was normal here. Nothing was normal wherever the people I care about or I was concerned. What, did someone up there like to fuck it up down here with me?

Screw this. Screw the whole world.

I was so pissed; I didn't think I could make it back to my dorm room in one piece. Let alone my afternoon classes. And I began to realize that I had a bigger problem than this. What about Tomoyo? What would happen to her?

Would she ever get over him?

I mean she has to. But then again, the only way she'll understand she can never have him, is for her to know his secret. But, it couldn't be me! I can't tell her. I'm in no position. I groaned again. Does this mean I have to get him to talk to her? I have to talk to him again? I didn't know what to do and was really, very tired.

Too exhausted to think properly.

I hadn't even eaten my lunch yet, I remembered only picking at in the cafeteria. My stomach soon agreed. I desperately needed to get some food in my system before I engaged in any thought provoking decisions. I checked my watch, and as I reached my dorm room, I decided to just go eat out at one of the campus fast foods. Guess I'm missing history. No big deal there.

Suddenly I felt stupid about walking up to my dorm, then back to down to eat. It was all so redundant.

Ugh. So fucking stupid.

Muttering curses to myself, I managed to escape to a McDonald's near the Picasso Dorm area, when a pair of amber eyes caught me.

I died. Five lives left, eh kitty?

As soon as he spotted me, he jumped out of the line and hurried up to me, with a large frown on his face. He approached me, his jaw tense, and his eyes flashing. "Sakura, we need to talk."

I then realized with a pang that was the first time he ever used my name? I think so. But, obviously it was not the time to celebrate such things when evil bastards like Eriol were there to discuss.

I sighed and nodded. He then led me to an empty table. Folding his hands together, he leaned over and asked, "Sakura, what is going on between you and Eriol?"

"Are you that fucking stupid?" I hissed abruptly. Did he not see how Eriol forced himself on me? If he did, then why was he asking that question?

"Look, Sakura, Eriol has been going out with Tomoyo a long time. Eriol's my best friend, and Tomoyo's like my sister."

I stared at him. "Your point?" I already knew this and that. I already knew more than he did! I wasn't stupid.

"Well, I think you better stay out of their relationship." He stated calmly, his voice tight. "I think we'd all appreciate it if you stayed out of our lives."

That was so unexpected, I wasn't prepared for my next outburst. I blurted it out before I could stop myself. "You look, Li, I'm not the one coming in between their relationship. In fact, I was only there to get a reason for why Eriol had broken up with Tomoyo in front of my dorm."

His eyes got wide but then narrowed sharply when I opened my mouth to continue, "And do you want to know what that reason is?"

I didn't wait for a verbal response, "You. It was you." I whispered hoarsely.

"What are you talking about woman?" Syaoran snarled defensively.

"You are the reason Eriol broke up with Tomoyo you dimwitted bastard. You. Eriol likes you, Eriol wants you, not Tomoyo. So she suffers because of you. And look, here Li," I sneered my voice coated with venom, "It was because of you, I lost my first kiss. And because of you, that Tomoyo is like the living dead. Besides you were the one who insulted Eriol in the first place, so don't you blame this on me!"

I was so ashamed for acting so violent and immature, so shocked he thought that way about me, and so angry about everything in general. There were so many emotions that I just couldn't control.

I began to cry.

It was big crocodile tears seeping down my cheeks, my throat getting tight, and my head getting dizzy.

I couldn't stop talking though. "And you want me to stay out of all your lives? In case you've forgotten, it wasn't me who suggested, 'Oh why don't you take this in a positive way? Hmm?" I hiccupped and used my wrist to wipe away my tears.

Syaoran's blank face stared back at me. It hardened and he stiffened. "Eriol likes me?" He sounded hesitant and scared. I turned away from his face. I didn't want to look at him right now and could care less how he felt when he didn't give a damn about accusing me in the first place.

I decided that enough was enough, and that I wouldn't stay here either. I began to get up when I heard a stern voice.

"Sit down, Sakura. You're not running away this time, I think you've been allowed to that one too many times." I froze. I did not run away. Cowards ran. I was not weak, god damnit.

However I blurted out something else. "Fuck you. I don't care." Automatically I turned around to get back to my dorms, or the girls restrooms to sit in the stalls and be left alone. Anywhere, anywhere, just anyplace where it was quiet. Without him.

"You should laugh more.."

I should laugh more, huh? I thought ironically. What are you doing to me now, Syaoran, then?

Why do you affect me so much?

I shook my head, and exited the glass doors, now connected to the outdoor cold weather. I looked up, the skies were dark, clouds were gathering, and ..thunder…

Oh baby, you're gonna cry with me, too?

It was one drop after another. It hit the smooth surface of my skin, colliding with the warm sticky tears, sliding across my face like ice. Immediately I shut my eyes, and hiccupped. I still couldn't stop crying.

My uniform was now drenched and I could feel the rain chilling through the external material of the cloth, seeping deep through my bones. They chilled me, they froze, and they warmed me. I could feel the thunder chiming, and a sad melody.

Unexpectedly, I felt a warm hand enclose around my wrist. I turned around, astonished at him for following me, and stared up into his eyes knowing I was deliberately trapping myself.

"Sakura," He whispered, his voice husky yet furious. "You can't run away every single time."

"When was I coward?" I demanded.

He swore at the ground when I tried to release from his grasp, but he only held me tighter, "Don't fool around. You know you ran away from you father, from your mom's death, from that cop, from the rumors, from Tomoyo, from Eriol, and now from me? You can't."

I scowled. "I'm not weak you bastard, now just let go of me!"

"No." He said. "You don't understand. You have got to stop running away from everything!"

I gave in. I looked at him and asked a senseless question, "I would stop running if I had a place to stop running to!" His grasp suddenly loosened, and I tried to take advantage of it, but he pulled me back to him. Since I hadn't gotten very far, we were still outside the building of McDonald's, so my back was now pressed up against the brick wall.

My breath hitched in my throat when I noticed I was trapped again like I was with Eriol. Except, this time I didn't want to escape. Not so badly…

"Sakura," He said again, his hot breath caressing my face, then reached up to brush a wet strand of hair away of my face, "You don't have to run away from me anymore."

It was probably the closest anyone has ever gotten to in my heart. How could he chew me out then spit me back out like that, but still make what was in my heart come out and make it so much less painful? His amber eyes pounded into my eyes, and I couldn't tear away my gaze.

His eyed suddenly dropped to my lips and unconsciously I licked them. Not to tempt him, but it seemed to. He smelled like sandalwood and it was making me dizzy with giddiness. God he smelled good.

Wrapping an arm loosely around my waist he leaned down until his lips brushed against mine. Not being so innocent anymore, the he deepened the kiss and asked entrance to my mouth. Hesitant at first, but finally I let him explore my mouth as it let butterflies roam my stomach and shivers run up and down my spine. Not knowing what to do next, how to respond this insane attraction, I responded to him chastely not really knowing how to kiss.

He stopped to let his face drop into my neck and I heard him inhale. "I hope this substitutes for your first kiss because if you didn't like this one, I'd substitute as many as you wanted."

I laughed. I was surprised he could act so flirty and I could actually laugh when a few minutes ago…when a few minutes ago….it was different. I suddenly hiccupped again, and I could feel his smirk against my neck. This was something I could get used to.

However, I simply couldn't forget that I was angry at him. I was supposed to angry. He just called me weak, and a coward..

But he said I didn't need to run away from him…

Why did he hurt me then?

His arm tightened around my waist again as if hearing my second thoughts, and he said, "Damnit, Sakura, you're driving me crazy." This was all too crazy to be true.

"Same here." I muttered.

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(A/N: So how'd ya'll like SS's first KISS, which was confusing because they were so AT it before…I know it's a little weird, but they both were so vulnerable and confused at that moment, that their attractions rather than anger took over. Hope you liked the SUPER DUPER EARLY update….waiting for those reviews to roll in….)