Chapter 4

- Systems Online, Power Online, Body is Fully Operational-

Cyborg blinked his organic eye, stretched and greeted the day. "Wonder what its like outside, is it another nice day, like yesterday?" he pondered to himself. "Soon find out." Pulling back the curtains, Cyborg stood in shock at the already foot thick snow, that was steadily mounting on the ground "What the FUCK? It's the middle of May!"

Dawn broke rudely for the masked leader of the titans, with Cyborg pounding on his door.

"Robin, man, you gotta see this

"Fuck off CY, its five in the morning!"

"Wake up dawg, open your curtains, you have to see this."

"Not at five in the morning."

"Its snowing!"

Robin, in his sleep-addled state, took a few minutes to think about this.

"Wha?"

"I said that its snowing!"

"Cy, it's the middle of May, it can't be snowing."

"Well it is, look out the window if you don't believe me"

On the other side of the door, Cyborg heard the thump as the titans glorious leader fell out of bed, and the sound of Robin blearily dragging himself to the curtains.

"Jesus titty-fucking Christ, it is snowing!"

Within seconds Robin was at the door clad in only mask and boxers "Cy, go and get those two so called "Prophets", they have some explaining to do.

Fifteen packed and confused minutes later, a semi-conscious Ozzy and a brain dead Riley were sitting in the common room trying to understand what was going on.

"What the hell is happening, why is it snowing in the middle of May?" demanded Robin.

Ozzy was incensed. "You woke me up at five in the mother fucking morning cos, its snowing? You inhuman bastard, I am going back to bed. I don't know why its snowing, ask Riley, he knows the details, wake him up and ask him." With that he stumbled out of the room and was gone, leaving Riley slumped over the counter. Cyborg reached over and woke him, Riley leapt like he'd been shot out of a cannon.

" THE ROCKS ARE FALLING DOWN THE MOUNTAIN" screamed Riley, punching Cyborg in the face, then he woke up.

"What's going on, where am I? Is this another intervention? What happened to R2 D2™ there?"

It was Robin who answered him. " Its snowing, you are in the Titans Tower, no its not another intervention we just need to know why its snowing and Cyborg is on the floor because you hit him right in the jaw."

"Ah. Makes sense. Did Mr. Microwave try to wake me up?"

"Yep."

"Did Oz tell you to wake me up?"

"Yep."

"You must have pissed him off, didn't wake him up early did you?"

"Yeah, about five this morning."

" Ah that would do it. Anyway, its snowing because the end of the world has begun and Satan's champion has arrived back on earth, special prizes for guessing his name."

Robins eyes narrowed behind his mask "Slade." He growled

"Give that man a coconut, well done. Bugger, this was not meant to happen so soon, Oz and me are gonna have to talk to the man upstairs bout giving you some assistance, otherwise ya'll gonna get properly raped. Be back in about two hours." And with that he was gone from the room

" Ozzy, get ready, we gotta go and see the boss." Stated Riley blankly as he strolled back into the room that they shared.

"What for, you know that he hates our lack of morals, it just gives me the willies, seeing him staring over the desk at me. And when he looks down his glasses at you."

"He also hates the fact that we drink, ingest mountains of drugs and anger most of the people that we get sent to help, but this is important, its to help our prophetees, so he can't object, can he?"

"True, lets go then."

As Raven proceeded towards Beast Boy's room, she wondered briefly what she was doing "why am I going to see Beast Boy, I could just check on him telepathically. But I was going this way anyway, and besides he might be asleep and naked." The last thought stopped her dead in her tracks, "Why would I want to see him naked?" then her treacherous thoughts kicked in again, " Because, have you seen his body, don't you just want to smother him in chocolate and lick it off? And he has gorgeous eyes, just what you want to see when he's on top." The last thought made Raven turn a complete three sixty degrees and hurry back to his own room to commune with her emotions and to do some serious meditation.

The object of her affection was however unaware of the conflict with in Raven's mind, as he was wrapped up in a little erotic world populated by him and the sorceress and by strange coincidence a pot of chocolate body paint.

When he awoke from his dream, Beast Boy felt strangely refreshed and happy. "Damm I feel good. Whatever I dreamt about, I should do it more often." Swinging out of bed he scanned the floor for cleanish clothing, however he could only find a pair of jeans. He also found a lack of clean tee-shirts, but a plentiful supply of ones crusted in a fine layer of filth. " Oops, must have forgotten to put these out last laundry day, guess I gotta do them now." He muttered to himself. Bundling the manky clothing under his arm, Beast Boy walked to the laundry room and started to pile his clothes into the washing machine, setting the machine to quick wash, he settled down to wait.

"You know, I could do that much faster, if you want."

Beast Boy spun round in surprise and saw a figure clothed all in white, shining radiantly. Who was also the last person that he ever wanted to see.

"Do you know who I am?" asked the figure, curiously.

"Yes I do, and I've got to say, you have got some balls, talking to me. After what you made me do, why should I assist you in any way, shape or form?"

"Because, you don't have a choice in the matter" stated God "it's either assist me or condemn the world to hellfire and flames due to some petty grudge."

"Petty grudge? You think what I have against you is a petty grudge. You smug fuck. You know that I can count the nights where I slept properly on one hand. And that was only because I was drunk off my arse. I haven't slept without a flashback since the night. And all because you decide to try out some new weapon against Satan. Thanks a fucking bunch." Said Beast Boy bitterly.

God narrowed his eyes in annoyance "and what would have happened to your village if I hadn't? I'll tell you what. You and your family and everyone who survived the initial attack would have been taken back to hell and I think you of all people know what happens there! Anyway, without that, you wouldn't be here, you wouldn't have any superpowers and you would not know Robin, Raven, Cyborg or anyone for that matter. Why? Because all of the days of your eternal soul would be spent in constant agony and despair and constant, never ending torture. So be happy and stop whining."

All the time during, the Lord's little speech, Beast Boy had been standing in front of the washing machine, god's every word like a drill in his mind, now he span round, murder in the changelings eyes, but his target was no longer there. Punching the wall in frustration, he stalked off back to his room, laundry forgotten.

Author Notes: Shablam, bet you didn't expect that. If this generates any reviewes then don't worry if I don't answer them. I will in chapter 5. Which will be along shortly. Peace out. Dannyspudge (M.D, P.hD)