Later Saturday
Where was I? Oh, so after Franz paid for everyone's drinks, we went out dancing. I didn't tell him I was 14. Of course, no one in the club was supposed to be under 18, but apparently the club doesn't care THAT much, since none of us are old enough. I don't think he figured I was 14, considering that he was like 22.
We were dancing, and it was crazy and spastic. He would be lifting me up constantly, and like swinging me around in the air.
"Do you want another drink?" Franz asked.
"Yes!" I shouted.
"What?"
"Surprise me, baby!"
He brought me back a tequila sunrise, and it was pretty nasty, but I drank it anyway. He had one too, and we were laughing, and getting a little tipsy together. We were leaning against a wall and Franz kept putting his arms around me, and touching my boobs, but it was okay. So I started rest my hands on his belt, and when I started doing that I don't think Franz stopped grinning.
Then Franz bought me an apple martini, which was fantastic, and we danced some more, and then the room started spinning, and I didn't think that it came from Franz and I dancing.
"I'm starting to feel..." I said, leaning against him, panting. I had four drinks, and I was starting to feel it. "Is there somewhere...?"
"Oh, yeah, hon, let's go upstairs." He led me upstairs, where people seemed to be getting into some serious shit. And there were these rooms with huge pillows on the floor, and they were lit with lava lamps and stuff. So it was dark, but you could still see.
"Is this better?" Franz asked.
"Yeah," I said. I had the feeling that this was going to end up as a replay of the night with Andy, but I was too tipsy to argue. Looking back on it, when Franz got me the second rum and coke, it seemed like he wanted something else. Especially since at this point, I wasn't giving him money for anything.
I was drinking the rum and coke, and Franz kept petting my hair, and telling me how beautiful I was. I started kissing him, and I spilled my drink all over the floor.
"I can get you another one," he offered.
"No, no, no, no, no..." I said. Yes, I actually said "no" that many times. He flashed that flashy grin at me, and I sort of melted. I was practically on top of him, and he started pulling off my top, and I kept saying no, but even I wasn't convinced. Especially since I kept laughing.
My top was over in the corner, and very soon my bra was there too, and he kept kissing my boobs, and touching them, and I had to admit that I was getting really in the mood. He pulled off his own shirt, and unbuttoned his pants.
Now, I know that I said I wouldn't do this. That the idea grossed me out, but let me say this: I was drunk. He was feeding me drinks.
"You want to touch it?" he asked, motioning to his crotch. He was wearing red boxer shorts. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who was turned on. Honestly, I didn't want to touch it, but I did anyway. Stacey said it wasn't bad. Stacey's very sophisticated, so I was trusting her on this one.
"Oh, god, Sunny, you know what you're doing," Franz said, leaning his head back.
I started kissing his chest, and he kept moaning and everything, and I kept getting lower and lower, and he kept telling me to keep going and keep going. So I did.
It wasn't... bad. It wasn't great, and I certainly didn't want to do it with a complete stranger again. I didn't feel like I could say that I was uncomfortable. I couldn't say that I wanted to stop. I couldn't say that I didn't want him to come in my mouth. I didn't swallow, though. I spat it out. Franz laughed, but it wasn't demeaning.
However, Franz was great, and he got me another drink (A regular, plain Coke), and he put his hand up my skirt and felt around a bit, and I don't really remember much of it. Just me telling him how good it was. I wish I could really remember it. The next moment was pretty sobering.
"Sunny? Sunny!"
I stood up, and went to look out the beaded curtains, and then Franz reminded me that I wasn't wearing a shirt, but I really didn't care. I looked out and saw Dawn wandering around. She saw me, and her eyes got really huge.
"SUNNY!"
"What?" I asked.
"What the hell do you think you're doing? Put some clothes on!"
"What?"
Dawn walked through the curtains, and saw Franz who was completely naked. Her face got very dark (probably red, it was hard to tell in the low light), but I think that was more from anger than from embarrassment. She grabbed my shirt and bra and forced on my shirt like I was five years old. She shoved my bra in her pocket. She grabbed my arm and pulled me out of the room. Over her shoulder, she called to Franz, "She's 14!"
I don't know what Franz replied to that. However, I was pissed.
"Dawn, what the hell gives you the right to-"
"We're leaving. I had to come up and here and find you screwing some guy? Sunny, what the hell are you thinking? Have you gone completely crazy?"
"No?" I replied.
We left, and Dawn dragged me out of the club, and into Bruce's van. I was lying on the floor of the van crying. I don't know why I was crying. Dawn was ignoring me, so thankfully Stacey was holding me, and stroking my hair, and I was sobbing out what happened, and she was being really great.
"Is she okay?" Bruce asked before we pulled out of the parking lot.
"She will be," Stacey replied.
Ducky was sitting next to her, and didn't say anything. One of this hands was holding mine, and the other was holding Justin's. He looked like HE was about to cry.
When we left, it was about two in the morning. It was about 2:10 when we got on the freeway. It was about 2:15 when we got pulled over.
There was a shout among the group. "Hey!" Bruce shouted. "Everyone, stay calm. I could get busted for having all of you back there without seat belts. Hell, without seats. So if you stay down and don't make a sound, I MIGHT be able to get away with it. You have it?"
We all shut up.
"Officer?" Bruce said.
"License and registration?"
Bruce leaned over Patti and dug through the glove compartment of the van and handed the policeman the stuff.
"What seems to the be the problem?" Bruce asked.
"You were going thirty miles over the speed limit, young man."
I had to sneeze. I knew that if I made a sound, we were busted, and everyone would blame me. I put my face in Stacey's lap and tried not to move. I wasn't letting myself breathe.
I didn't sneeze, but the policeman shined his flashlight in the back of the van. "What the hell? Who are all of these people?"
Bruce dropped his head on the steering wheel. Thankfully, Bruce didn't get arrested. He got fined ($500 dollars!) and had his license suspended for six months. Ducky drove us home. We all spent the night on sleeping bags in his living room. Even Ducky himself.
I followed Ducky back into his room when he was changing. "I was really stupid tonight, wasn't I?"
"We all were," he replied.
I know he was being easy on me. I guess I sort of wanted him to be mean to me. "You know what I mean, Ducky."
He sort of sighed. "What should I say?"
"Yell at me. Tell me I'm a slut. And I'm stupid."
Ducky, who had been digging through his closet, turned to look at me. "You're not a slut. And you're not stupid. But I'm worried."
"About what? Me?"
"Sunny, I don't want to sound like your Dad or something-"
"You're not screaming at me about laundry, you don't sound like Dad," I said.
"But you're out of control," Ducky finished, ignoring my comment. "You can't keep pulling stunts like this. I don't know where you got in your head that dating a ton of guys, or getting drunk is going to fill everything that's missing in your life."
"It's not about Mom," I said. "Everyone may think it is, but it's not."
"It's not?" he sounded unconvinced.
"No! I miss Mom, but what happened last night with Franz isn't going to make her come back. Or make up for everything she did."
"Then why are you doing this to yourself?"
This is what I love about talking to Ducky. If I was talking to Dawn, she would have said "why are you doing this to me?"
"I don't know!" I cried. I sat down on Ducky's bed and felt stupid.
Ducky sat down next to me and pulled me into a hug. He wasn't wearing a shirt and his skin was sticky. "Sunny, you're the only one who can stop this. I can't do it for you. And it doesn't matter why, or maybe it does, but all I know is that you're the only one who can make yourself do anything or not do anything."
"I know. When am I going to doing this?"
"When it's important to you. I just hope you don't wait until it's too late. When something really bad happens."
"I'll try, Ducky, I'll try."
He hugged me. "I know you will."
Ducky finished changing and we went back into the living room.
"Hey, who thinks that we should put our $300 Bash pay toward Bruce's fine?" Amalia said.
Every muttered an agreement.
"And we'll chip in for as much of the rest as we can," Dawn offered. I was about to protest, but Dawn was right (Oh holy Dawn, always right).
I got almost all of my money together, and after that, we had chipped together about a hundred dollars. Bruce only had to come up with the other hundred. His parents paid it, and they were pissed as hell. However, they didn't suspend him from the Bash (they know how big that is), but he's got a summer's worth of house and yardwork ahead of him.
Bruce's parents also called all of our parents this morning. I'm glad I didn't give Bruce all of my money, because my pay got cut in half at the bookstore. Dad isn't a total slavedriver. I thought he was going to cut off my pay altogether.
"I thought that you were past this," Dad said to me. "I thought that after Mom... I didn't think this wild stage was going to last, and you were beyond it. Now, I know this is your vacation, and you work hard, so I'm not grounding you. But you have a curfew of ten-thirty, and if you are not here by then, or calling me from where you are, that isn't to be any further than Dawn's house, the punishment will be much more severe."
Dad's speech would have been great when I was twelve, but it just sort of rolled off my back now. Especially since he didn't know everything that I did.
I went upstairs and called Mary Anne (I wasn't about to talk to Dawn, not after the Franz incident) and she said that Mr. Schafer called all of their parents, and no one was happy, but he was sort of like my Dad, and pointed out that this was all their vacation, but he was planning on having much stricter curfews.
No more late night parties for us.
After what happened, though, I don't know if I want them.