She had tried, tried to remain distant from the young babies that had grown in her body. Even after they had been born, with Juhani's help, she had remained guarded. Perhaps she even thought small monsters would be born, complete with claws and horns. That would have made it easy.

For a time she had doubted the council's prophecy, but once a daughter and then a son had emerged from her womb she let go of all of her suspicions.

Their names had just come naturally to her, although she knew nothing of what they might mean, or if it was even significant. She just knew what their names would be once she saw them.

It was then they had become individuals. Little beings, looking to her for their most basic needs in life. She had kept herself removed from emotion, looking upon them as future threats or perhaps saviors.

It would have been so easy then, to not comply with their cries, to end the possible destiny that awaited them. The threat they might present to the Republic and the Jedi.

But her mind also raced with thoughts that they might fulfill the prophecy and help restore balance to the galaxy. And that they may be Carth's. She couldn't let the Jedi down, she had already done that once in her life. Her life was now theirs. She accepted that.

At least she tried to accept it, every day she tried. Not a day passed that she didn't battle the dark side within her, the one that told her she was making a mistake. The side that wanted her to return to Carth. To pretend these were his children, to watch him enjoy having a family once again.

She pushed those thoughts from her mind. She didn't know if Carth was the rightful father, and to deceive him would be unimaginable. And to tell him there was a possibility that another was the paternal parent – well that thought left her feeling even worse. How could she ever tell him. Explain to him that she had, most likely, succumbed to Malak and had done it while thinking of him.

As she thought of this scenario her vision blurred and her eyes burned white hot with tears. Just as they had every day since the moment she had realized what might have happened during her lapse. It had become more frequent once she knew she had a life growing inside of her.

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They had been at the cantina and she tried to use her force power, just to sway the young Rodian's mind, but it had gone completely wrong. It was then she knew something was wrong, horribly wrong with her.

Earlier, on her last mission for the council, a similar thing had happened. Only this time she had two Padawans with her. They had not been able to escape without the use of their lightsabers. The Padawans had been thrilled, but she could only feel confusion.

She had sought out the council, telling them of what actually had transpired on her Star Forge mission, along with the current situations. The rest had become a blur. They had known, or at least suspected, since one of their first questions had been if there was a chance she was pregnant.

They spoke of some prophecy that had revealed itself many, many years ago. They didn't know when it would be fulfilled but couldn't ignore the eerie coincidences surrounding the present.

She remembered her jaw dropping at the thought of being pregnant, and then the dawning realization of the past few months. Yes, there were measures one could take to prevent such a thing, but not for a Jedi, not for someone who had been on a mission to find the Star Forge. Her mind had reeled and raced. And then the memories, the painful memories, leaving her with only the truth. She had simply nodded and let herself be led away.

The plans had been made after the first round of tests. Originally they had just wanted to take the child, or children, from her immediately. But she had fought them on this, she had told them it was her responsibility. Had convinced them, to let her travel to a remote planet where they wouldn't be discovered, where the dark force would either help to bring out the taint within them or make them stronger. To the place where she had so much to answer for herself, the planet that would allow for their force powers to develop at a normal rate, no matter what their power was. The place known as Malachor V.

The test results had been confirmed for the third time before she finally allowed herself to leave the safe haven of the Jedi Temple. To spend one more day with the man she loved before she would have to tell him goodbye.

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She remembered him waking up, a bit surprised that she had already set out a cup of caffa for him. He had always been the one to rise first.

He strolled over to her as she sat at the table, looking down at her face he cupped it in his hands and leaned in for a kiss. "I love you babe."

He then moved to the chair in front of his caffa and relaxed his body into it. "You didn't come home last night, secret Jedi stuff?" he inquired as his sipped at the hot liquid.

"Yeah, something like that" she rose from her seat, moving to the bed. She sprawled out, patting the spot next to her, "Come here."

He complied without hesitation, deciding to lie down instead of just sitting next to her. Reaching over to pull her into an awkward hug, he kissed her softly. "What's wrong beautiful?"

She moved her hand, caressing his face before letting it glide to his shoulder, then down his back. "Nothing, I just wanted you to know that I love you."

He grinned at her then, reaching out to play with her hair, "I love you too."

She became lost as he nuzzled his face into her neck, kissing it softly, before moving his lips up towards hers. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, pulling him in closer to her kiss. Arching her body, she let everything else vanish, leaving herself to enjoy the last moments that she would have with the man she loved.

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She had spent the rest of the day talking with her friends and crewmates, just enjoying their company for the last time.

Pulling Jolee aside, she informed him that she knew of his knowledge of the situation. "Keep my flyboy strong old man, help him to move on."

"Bah, I'm too old to play cupid, if you want that you'll have to do it yourself! Way I see it, you have no right to be leaving in the first place."

"Jolee please, this is hard enough."

"Must mean something then, if you care to listen to what it might be telling you. Take care then, if that's your decision" he shot her a glance "Perhaps you'd like to hear about this woman who once …"

"Jolee! This is serious and I don't have time for stories. Do what you can okay? Please?"

She waited for him to acknowledge her plea, but gave up after it became apparent he wasn't going to say anything further on the matter. Strolling back to the apartment, she began to contemplate how she was going to break the news to Carth.