"Revan, there is something you need to know" Juhani began.

Revan stood in complete shock as she heard Juhani tell her that the pilot of the ship they were on was Carth. Her mind whirled so fast she felt dizzy and had to reach out to steady herself. Juhani was still telling her something but she couldn't hear her anymore.

Excitement mixed with fear, joy with sorrow, love with regret. She tried to get a grip on the flood of emotion and thoughts that were swirling within her.

"I don't know how I'm going to face him Juhani" she cried out desperately.

"This is what is meant to be, you will find a way."

"But I can't, how can I, I'm not ready. Not like this, not now."

"You will and you must, I will tell him to wait for you in the galley."

"NO!" she knew Juhani would tell him if she didn't, "I will tell him myself, but I need some time."

"Very well, I'll take care of Aaron and Ariana for you."

Revan nodded as her mind began to swirl again at the mention of her children. "I can't tell him everything, not now, not yet."

Juhani shot her a look and Revan knew exactly what she was thinking.

She replied back at Juhani through the force, If I can avoid it I will, this is a personal matter and I'd prefer if you kept your thoughts to yourself.

"Truth by omission Revan? I'm afraid you won't be able to play that game."

I can try!

Deciding against a live communication, Revan composed her message and programmed it to be delivered in 30 minutes. That'll keep me from backing out, she thought. The rest of the time was spent preparing for the big meeting, but when the beep sounded, letting her know that her message had been received, she didn't feel the least bit ready.

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"I hope you're sitting down Carth because I'm about to give you a big surprise. I am here with Juhani. We, obviously, need to talk so I hope you can meet me in the galley in a few minutes."

Carth had been sitting down but he still collapsed the moment he heard her voice on the recorded message. He didn't hear anything past his name, lost in his own thoughts. After replaying the message a second time a look of shock overcame his face, this time he remembered nothing after, I'm here with Juhani.

Trying to get a grip on himself, he swore he'd hear the complete message this time as he listened once more.

He didn't fare any better the third time, running from the room the minute he heard meet me in the galley. He tore down the hall, his mind racing as fast as his legs. His hand smacked into the hard metal as he cut the last corner too closely but his gait wasn't slowed at all. There was too much happiness flowing through him to even notice any pain it may have caused.

He entered the galley but was alone. Wondering if perhaps she hadn't meant immediately he began to pace back and forth, mad at himself for not having the patience to listen to the entire message.

The minutes stretched and he became more agitated. He was pacing, running his hand through his hair every few seconds. If she didn't show up in the next few minutes he decided he would begin searching the entire ship.

And then there she was, beautiful as ever. He thought he would die from joy.

------------------------

As she entered the room she saw his face light up, a huge smile stretching out so far that it overshadowed all his other features.

Relief, shock, amazement and a host of other emotions all poured out of a singe word as he spoke her name, "Revan".

He moved towards her, reaching out to pull her into an embrace.

"Carth, no," she moved away from him, scanning the room for something to stand behind, an obstacle to prevent him from approaching her again.

"I'm sorry, I am happy to see you too, but, we should talk first." She replied.

"Alright" he breathed, but she could tell he wasn't alright. He looked hurt and the smile had vanished, replaced with concern and even a touch of anger.

"It's been awhile, you look good Carth." She smiled at him.

"You were the patient recovering in the medbay?" he asked.

She grinned and he continued, concern showing in his voice, "What happened? Are you alright?"

"I was just careless. I'm fine now, thanks to Juhani."

"Have you been on Malachor V all this time?"

She nodded.

"Why didn't you tell me before? Why the note?"

She looked away but he continued, "Tell me, I deserve to know!"

How could she tell him that it would have been too hard to do face-to-face? How she had feared that should would not have been strong enough to hide the truth from him.

And now, now she was fearing that all over again. She knew the strength of Revan, former Dark Lord and Savior of the galaxy, would not enough to help her through this.

She looked up at him with pleading eyes, trying to explain but the words would not come.

"Carth I couldn't …" she stammered, spreading her hands out in a gesture that expressed utter confusion and loss for words.

She sighed and tried again, moving towards the door as she spoke,

"You … you don't understand, I"

"DAMN RIGHT I don't!" he bellowed.

His arm shot out, pressing against the wall, cutting off her retreat and her words at the same time.

"Care to fill me in or are we back to a note? Should I check your pillow tomorrow?"

She cringed at the ferocity of his anger and tried to duck under his arm so she could continue her retreat.

"Oh, no you don't" he sneered, moving his entire body in front of the doorway.

"I've waited for you for four years. FOUR YEARS, Revan. Never knowing why, if perhaps it was something I'd done. Wondering if you were safe, waking up every single day", his voice stressing each syllable, "hoping it was the day that you would walk back into my life."

Anger hid any trace of the sparkle that she longed to see as he stared her straight in the eyes, his voice rising, "I deserve some answers sister and if you haven't noticed, you're on MY ship and it's not going ANYWHERE until I get them!"

How could she tell him? How did she even begin to explain? He had once told her that she would know when he was angry. Indeed she thought she had already seen the worst of his anger during the quest for the Star Forge, but she had been wrong. None of that compared to the cold, seething fury from the man that stood before her now, the man, who only moments ago, had wanted to embrace her.

She was the reason for his rage, she was the target of it too and she knew she would have to tell him something. Her heart felt like it was being ripped into a thousand pieces. She wondered if he was feeling the same way. "Let's just calm down okay, I'll …"

"CALM DOWN! How dare you patronize me. I can't believe this! Do you hear yourself? You haven't told me ONE DAMN thing this entire time and I'm supposed to CALM down!"

"Carth, I'm sorry, I, It's just," she let out an exasperated sigh, "I'll talk, but you really need to stop yelling, let's sit down and" she stopped in mid-sentence as his communicator sprang to life.

"Damn," he muttered, "I have to take this."

Revan was already moving around him, exiting the room.

He leaned out the doorway and called out, "THIS ISN'T OVER!" before turning back to the incoming message from the scouts.

No it isn't, she thought, but I avoided telling you anything for at least another day.

She had survived their first meeting. It would be easier the next time she hoped. This was just hard because it was their first reunion. The precedence had been set. Next time he wouldn't try to come close, to hug her. Nor would he have that huge smile that had melted her heart.

It had taken every amount of resolve she could muster to avoid draping her arms around him, kissing him once more. She quickly pushed the thoughts away. She needed to be strong, there was no room for anything else. Swallowing back the tears that threatened to come pouring out, she entered her room.

The kids were already asleep and she moved to tuck them in before collapsing onto the floor. Juhani looked at her expectantly but left the room when Revan began the meditation that would occupy her for the rest of the night.