I hope you enjoy this, I had a great time writing this chapter. And for all you yaoi haters, it ISN't that much. I promise, I can't stand writing the over-descriptive yaoi. But I do like the occasional hint of yaoi. So please enjoy, it's one of my longest chapters ever, which is really startling. So like I said enjoy! And I tried to stay in character as best as I could.

Warning: Spoilers and Maybe Some Yaoi, Not that much, I promise!

Choices Of An Angel
Chapter Five: True Feelings Unleashed
By: Katandshadow

"Why must you do that!"

He had a habit of messing with my hair. It was so annoying, it was one of those things that annoys you so much that you want to strike out. That's exactly how I felt. Lately, everyday Kratos had been obsessed with my hair, and everything. I had never seen him like this before. I usually could care less about my appearance. It was sort of scaring me, but I was actually starting to like it...

"Oh come off it Yuan,"He joked getting up off the coach and walking into the kitchen. I starred blankly. It had been so long since we started living togehter. I couldn't even keep track of the years anymore. And that scared me. But since of our eternal damnation, it felt like a blink of an eye. But something was forming between us, I couldn't understand what was starting to happen to us.

"Where are you going?" I asked sitting back us and fixing my hair after Kratos had rudely screwed it up. He was known for that. Kratos sat on his stool, looking out the window. I wasn't too sure if he was all right, or if this was one of his tricks to get me to pay attention to him. Kratos glanced over at me and beckoned for me to come over.

"You've got to see this,"He whispered. My alertness was on the highest level. What was so crucial that he actually had to whisper in our own house. I stood where I was and tried to look out the window but couldn't, his hair was blocking my view. I, regretfully, walked over to where Kratos was. I looked out the window. Kratos pointed to the river that had always run behind the house. It was now larger, wider, and faster. I looked at him, trying to see why this was so important.

"That wasn't like that yesterday," Kratos spoke rubbing his chin. He took things to literally. I meant that. A few months ago he took a dead rabbit a sign that Noishe would die. For a whole week he wouldn't let Noishe out of his room. At least he didn't comand for him to stay in my room. I couldn't stand that creature as it stood.

"So?" I asked crossing my arms, trying to think like Kratos. But what could he possibly get out of a river. I squinted me eyes, and tried every possible way to look at the river. Nope, nothing. I kept coming out blank. Kratos stood up and turned around to me.

"I'll be right back," He muttered. He walked over to the door, and left the house. I sighed helplessly. Kratos, lately, had been obsessing over every single detail relating to our life. It was starting to annoy me, and I wish he could just be care-free. But was I really ready for him to act like that?

"He's obsessive," I spoke sitting down and watching Kratos from inside. He walked over to the river and bent down. It seemed to me that he had extended a hand into the bank of the river and watched the water rush easily over his hand. I couldn't tell his emotion, or what he was thinking. What really startled me, was that he sat down next to the river and watched it. What was so great about a river? I couldn't find out what Kratos was up to.

With a few regrets, I walked outside. The sun was shining brightly, and a gentle breeze gusted through. I had guessed Mithos had sent for another Chosen and they had released the Sylph seal at least a month ago. I just stood outside, watching Kratos. My curiosity was something I hated. It had always been a sin since I was young. It was how I met Mithos and Martel, I had ventured out of Heimdall and found the two by the river. But of course, this was before the elves of the village learned of our lineage. I closed my eyes and realized why this river was so important. But why was Kratos so interested in my past?

Walking over to him, Kratos turned his head and watched me approach. The waters that rushed by seemed so transparent, you could see every rock in it. I just stood there and watched until Kratos spoke up.

"Interesting isn't it?" He asked. I looked at him oddly. I could tell it now, the river wasn't what was on his mind at all. Not for a few moments did I reply. I just watched it, trying to see what really had Kratos acting so differently.

"Yea, sure," I replied, still trying to make sense of what Kratos was getting at. He turned his attention away from me and continued to watch the river, as if it fed the thoughts and feelings he had. Which I was dying to know what they were about.

"Sit down for a minute, you need some time to relax," He spoke. I wasn't sure to gratefully accept this from him, or decline angrily. My gut told my to leave and go back in the house, but my heart told me to stay and figure out what Kratos was up to. I nodded swiftly and sat down next to him.

"What do you want?" I asked. It wasn't meant to be cruel, or offensive, but it just came out that way. I couldn't break my habits no matter how hard I tried. I winced after I said that to Kratos and sighed and looked down. "Sorry, I didn't mean to sound cruel," Just saying 'sorry' was punishment enough. Kratos glanced over at me and shook his head.

"No offense taken,"He replied and gave a faint smile. It was that smile that had made me accept humans, mostly accept Kratos as a person no matter what blood ran through his veins. I just looked down, still trying to think what had Kratos acting so weird. It had to be something, Damnit, I wasn't one to guess.

"Good," I replied. He looked back at the river and sighed. He seemed like he wanted to tell me something but stopped himself. I shrugged off the feeling then waited for Kratos to speak again. I wasn't sure whether to end the conversation at those few lines, and just to wait it out.

"Remember what this river was when we first came here?" He asked casually. I tried to find a hidden meaning behind this but came up empty. Thinking back, I remembered the tiny trickling stream. It was so fragile and weak and even a single stone could cause the flow to stop. And as I stared at it now, it seemed so strong... so strong, just like Kratos. That's when I had finally made a comparison in my own mind. This river reminded me of our relationship, it started out as a simple job but ended up as close as it could get. I stopped and froze and looked over at Kratos, fearing what he thought.

"Yes I remember," I managed to say, without stuttering a lot. I looked down trying to re collect my thoughts. Kratos was one of the hardest person to read after all these years. I smiled at him, but he didn't take notice. I grew angry for a moment then took control of myself. Why was I getting upset? I shrugged and waited for Kratos to say something.

"Who would have thought it would transform into something like this?" He asked pointing at the flowing river. "Defiantly not me, if you would have told me things would end up like this, I would have never believed you, especially seeing how things started out." He paused then looked away.

He had let those words slip. I was starting to think he wasn't talking about the river at all anymore. I was almost certain, but didn't dare to impose on Kratos' thoughts. The outcome would be inevitable. I tried to think of something to say but came up empty, once more. I said the only thing that made sense.

"Heh, me either." It was something Kratos would say. I didn't feel right saying it. Kratos looked over at me. He could tell I was struggling with words. He laughed and I tried to hold back the contentment I felt, but I couldn't any longer. I smiled, for the first time since Martel had wrapped me close in her arms. So long ago that it hurt me even to think of her.

"You still love her, Yuan, don't you?" Kratos asked. It was as if he could read my mind. Which scared me. If he could read my thoughts, or even read me, I was dead. My traveling thoughts would soon let on all these secrets I had that I wasn't sure were really true.

"Yes, I will never forget her, you should know that Kratos,"I spoke softly looking at the river. I took my left hand and ran a finger over the silver embossed ring. I closed my eyes softly and thought about all those times Kratos had been there for me since her death. And I was certain I would always be there for him, if something should happen.

"I do know that," By now he was looking at me once more. I started to feel uneasy. It wasn't normal to have an in-depth conversation with Kratos. He was all business, as I always told myself. Kratos shook his head and looked upward, a pang of relief filled me.

"It's amazing how Derris-Kharlen could be hidden so easily from all eyes," He observed. I glanced upwards also at the blue sky. But we were of the very few to know that just above this world lay the angelic Derris-Kharlen, where my ancestors had come. I closed my eyes and thought about everything that Mithos had done.

"Is something bothering you Yuan?" Kratos asked suddenly, I opened my eyes and looked over at him and shook my head. I was lying, as usual. Of course something was on my mind, and I was afraid to admit what was on my mind. it scared me, it scared me that he was on my mind. I looked uneasy and tried to pretend nothing was wrong.

"You were never much of a liar, that's what I find so pure in you," Kratos said, intrigued. The way he worded that sentence, it made me feel that my thoughts were swimming in his mind also. I squinted a bit and didn't know how to re-act. All this time and yet I still couldn't confined in him...

"Yuan, I know something is on your mind, just tell me," He spoke sighing. I didn't breathe for a few moments. I couldn't tell him that he was on my mind. I just couldn't.

"It's nothing Kratos," I spoke, lying through my teeth. I clenched my teeth and hoped Kratos wouldn't ask anymore questions. But a deeper part of me wanted to stay and talk with him. I was getting so confused.

"Yuan..."He didn't say anything else besides my name. That sent a shiver down my spine. I felt uncomfortable with Kratos just saying my name. He usually had something to say, but he was speechless.

"What?" I asked, hoping he would admit something and I wouldn't be the only one who was starting to feel this way. Kratos shook his head and looked over at me. He starred at me for a few moments. He was watching me, and for some reason, I liked that... alittle too much.

"N-nothing," This was the first time I had ever heard Kratos lie straight in the face to me. It offended me but filled me with pleasure at the same time. Something was on his mind as well, and I'm sure it wasn't a river. He thought for a minute and then spoke choosing very vague words. "Have you ever met someone, someone that you never would have thought that you'd acquire feelings for? But yet you can't help it..." He looked away. Now I was certain. My heart raced and I twitched uneasily.

"Once, or possibly twice..."I spoke. I knew by now he must have caught on. Or was he actually that dense after all. After all these quarrels, we might actually had feelings toward each other. Real feelings...

"Then there was someone other then Martel?" He asked uneasily. It also seemed to please me that Kratos was stuttering for the right words. He was never like this, but for some reason talking about this made him awfully nervous. Was he afraid?

"Yes, but not in a way I would have thought,"I spoke. My hands were shaking horribly and I couldn't even breathe. I didn't want the truth to be known, but I wanted him to know. I felt so helpless, this was so hard to understand.

"..." He didn't reply but seemed deep in thought. Damnit Kratos, why couldn't he just admit this. I shook my head, getting tired of all this playing around the subject. But as I thought deeper, all the attention Kratos had given me lately, the attention I found so annoying, was an attempt to show me something I thought would never be true.

"Kratos, are you saying?.." I didn't want to say it like that. I wasn't one for words, Kratos was the better choosier at words. I felt like such a fool laying it on the line. I looked over at him, hoping, no praying for some good response. He lightened a smile.

"Depends on what you're thinking,"He smirked. Yep, Kratos was feeling easier about this now. And that's just the way I wanted it. I didn't want him so tense to completely avoid me. I couldn't stand that if that were to happen.

"Well," I began and smiled meekly. I couldn't just come out and say it. After all these years I would had never thoughts I'd acquire feelings for him. But it all had started after he saved me, saved me soul.

"Yuan, I don't know what to say, or how to explain what's on my mind," Kratos spoke. Ugh, why wouldn't he just give in. Was it that hard to actually care for someone. But to find out Kratos could actually care made me feel better. Even if it wasn't what I had expected.

"Just say it..."I stuttered. Kratos closed his eyes and became very tense. I didn't want it to come out like this, damnit.

"I... think," Kratos began then looked down ashamed. I waited for him to continue but after an awkward silence, I felt this conversation ending, It couldn't possibly be over. I had to say something.

"Think what?" I asked, trying to sound so open-minded, although it went against my nature. Kratos looked over at me and I could tell this was so hard for him to confess.

"That I might have... feelings for you,"

It was said. After all that confusion and worry, it was all on the line. I had to say something, had to show Kratos he wasn't acting like an entire, gay ass in front of me. I starred at him for a few moments, too shook up for words.

"...Kratos," I spoke. That's all I could manage. He looked at me, almost embarrassed. I had to say something.

"...I've been feeling the same way," Every word was so hard to say. Especially seeing I swore never to love again after Martel. But was this love? Or was it on the brink of love. I wanted to know.

"You have?" He asked, in dis-belief. He nodded, with a slight smile. I felt like a thousand tons had been lifted off me. A content smile crossed Kratos' face.

"Thank you Yuan," He spoke staring at me. It was sink or swim, and I wasn't one to sink when things were out in the open. I stuttered and chose my words and began to place them together.

"I've lo-...ved you ever since you've saved me from myself..." I spoke almost barely able to say I had loved someone. Kratos seemed shocked, but almost thrilled. Was he over-reacting, but that expression made me feel better.

"Yuan," And with that a single kiss was melted between us and the moment was over. Far over. Thrown out in the river and tossed aside. Kratos got up and left back to the house to leave me by myself. My mind was trailing off. Did it really happened. I couldn't feel my legs and starred at the river. I then felt a horrible feeling of dread.

"I'm so sorry Martel,"I spoke almost breaking into tears. But damn, I wouldn't cry. I starred out at the water and took out Martel's panpipe. She had entrusted it to me. After that, Mithos was determined to take her only memento other then our sign of love, our rings, away from me. But I'd never let it go. And I'd never let Kratos go. Damn...

Author's Note:

Wholly Shit. The last time I wrote something that long was for a story that wasn't even related to anything. I can't believe I actually managed to get some yaoi into this. And no, I was not going to get intimate. You'll understand in the next few chapters. Seeing this will soon take place on where Kratos meets Anna. Hint hint hint. I said HINT HINT HINT. poor Yuan, heart-broken again. But still, I managed a hint of yaoi. I never thought I'd be able to do that. And Yes I've respected others that aren't much into yaoi. I didn't want it to make you all drop dead from disgust, so just one kiss is all right, right? Of course the relationship would never grow from there.

And Yes, as in the game Mithos in the game does Martel's panpipe. Which was originally given to Yuan. Heh, it felt like a good twist. Anyways, I'm going to have to think for awhile and add 'Kranna' also another hint, to the story description. Anyways, please review or... I'll get... a giant pear to hunt you down!