3

My Own Battle

Part II

Lwaxana's POV

The only thing that gave me joy the whole time the Dominion had control of our planet was Barin's desire for chocolate. Thanks to his sister, he developed a love for it at a very early age. Problem was, he was very sick and thanks to the damn Dominion there was no medicine for my son. He almost died. I don't know what I would have done if he had died from the Rigelian fever. My son was the only thing keeping me going. I could not give up the fight for our planet or our lives.

Thanks to the Dominion, food was so scarce that many parents, including myself, went without so their children could eat. We rationed it out, but sometimes I gave my share to my son so he would not go hungry. I did everything for him and his future. I joined the Resistance for Barin's sake to keep him safe and well. If he had died from that childhood illness I don't know if I would have continued. I know I could not bear to lose another child, even if I still had Deanna. It still pains me to think of Kestra and I know I would have died if Barin had not survived.

Okalan was our last hope for our children to get medicine, but he was capture as he was leaving the hospital. There was no ryetalyn so more children died all because of those bastards dumping the life-saving medicine. We could do nothing for our children except watch them die one by one.

We searched for Okalan with only primitive weapons, because we weren't a violent society until those monsters came. We found him severely to beaten, tortured, and blinded by those brutes. First I felt his pain and after Enaren honoured his request to die, I felt a fiery rage build in my blood. I wanted every Cardassian and Jem'Hadar barbarian dead.

Many of the women lost their lust for life. Their regal poses disappeared and all that was left of them was troubled minds and frail bodies. They became exhausted from worry and fear of what would happen to their families if we were found in our Resistance cell. We functioned on survival only.

That was life for us during the occupation, but I have no regrets what I did to them. I probably should because before they came, I was never a violent woman. I abhorred the thought of violence until they came and took over our planet; killing us like lab rats and discarding us as though we were objects to possess. I wanted nothing but their demise the whole time the Jem'Hadar were on our precious planet.

With the help of the Cardassians, the Dominion captured and destroyed the minds of the strongest Betazoids with their experiments. So, many died at the hands of the Dominion. Their goal was to make the Jem'Hadar telepathic, but it failed causing the ugly animals to die from the emotions that flooded their minds. I felt joy when we discovered this default in the Jem'Hadar. Our minds could kill the Jem'Hadar with just a powerful thought.

I didn't care if we killed the demonic lizards, if it would save our children. I didn't care if we returned our ancestral ways. All I wanted was them dead and gone from our planet forever. I wanted the beasts to stop committing genocide on my people dead even if it meant murder.

We had no weapons to overpower them, except our minds. Our telepathic abilities were the only way we could defeat them. The desire to choke the life out of every Jem'Hadar filled our veins like poison and our hatred for them grew each time a friend or family member died because of them. We felt our love one's lives extinguished with devastating pain due to those hellhounds.

Yes, I asked for the mentally ill Betazoid, because I knew he was our only hope for survival. It was a risk I had to take and with the agreement of the council, we demanded Tevren's freedom. We all knew what he did. We knew he killed many people, including his parents, but we were to the point of dying either by the hands of the Cardassians and Jem'Hadar or from starvation and illness. It didn't matter that he was sadistic and murderous anymore. He was our salvation from the hell we were living and the unseen powerful weapon that we needed most.

I blame those fiends for turning me into the very thing that I hate most. We all did and I blame them for our barbaric thoughts. They ruined our peaceful way of life and everything that went with it. There isn't a Betazoid on the planet who doesn't want them dead. They have affected us all; tainted by their actions towards us.

Thankfully, the crew of the Enterprise gave us an alternative to murdering the Jem'Hadar, but it still doesn't change the anger we all feel towards the Dominion. We didn't have to become murderers to gain our freedom, but we still had to use our minds to incapacitate the Jem'Hadar. The influx of emotion onto the Jem'Hadar enabled more Betazoids to help with emancipation and we would not have to learn to kill. Making them catatonic so we could imprison them was the preferred choice, even though our feelings towards them wanted them dead. None of us wanted to take the risk of becoming like our captors.

Many Betazoids died because of the alternate technique, but we all willingly scarified ourselves so that others could live. We lost so many family members due to the Dominion; our own sacrifice was nothing compared to the hundreds more who would die if we did not.

Yes, I did it. We all did it. We sent all our hatred and anger for them to their minds, paralyzing some, confusing others. We caused chaos among the Jem'Hadar and those who didn't become catatonic turned on each other. Instead of us killing them they killed each other. Many Jem'Hadar are dead because of what we did and suffice it to say, I'm glad. We didn't have to murder them directly with our minds, but rather we did it indirectly. So, for as many Betazoids we lost due to the technique, many more Jem'Hadar are dead and I don't regret it.

The Federation took care of the Dominion while we destroyed those hideous monsters' defences. Our anger with the Federation left almost as fast as they arrived, but we know now that we can't rely on them to protect us against all invaders. As much as we hate it, we'll have to upgrade our weapons because we can not completely return to our old ways, thanks to those evil creatures.

I don't regret my barbaric thoughts towards the Dominion. I don't regret making the Jem'Hadar kill each other and as much as I loathe bloodshed, it was the only way. Did I really become everything that I hate? Have Betazoids lost what they believed in all these centuries because of what we did? I don't think so. I think we've saved our way of life and gained everything.

I must admit though, I'm one of the lucky ones! I have my life and both my children. Not too many Betazoids can say that after what we went through. Thank the gods of Betazed!

TBC with Will and Barin's POVs