Oh look. It's another one of those... -whisperwhispersnickerglance-
II
He had a quicksilver mind - it was inevitable that he figured it out eventually. James mentioned "every moon" and "Remus sick", and Sirius made the rest of the connections. All it took was James' cloak to follow me out of the portrait hole one divisive night, to see the nurse meet me and take me down under the tree.
Sirius mentioned werewolves quietly one day and his eyes told me he knew. I dropped everything and fled.
It was third year. I hadn't told them, the best friends who were supposed to know everything. Sirius, the pureblood Black, spending so much time, even touching a werewolf?
I charmed my bedhangings shut and didn't come out untill after nightfall, sneaking into the bathrooms for a long, hot bath.
I avoided them all day, and succeeded in putting off any direct confruntation for a while, but he soon cornered me outside, on the edge of the Forbidden Forest.
"Remus."
It was that quiet, silky, calm voice that had seduced many an airheaded girl and charmed many a teacher. No wonder that the other two would send him ahead.
My stomach clenched. I tried to convince myself that it would have happened anyways, that I had always expected it, knew it couldn't last...
He touched my elbow when I wouldn't look at him, and I couldn't help jerking away, eyes wide, books clutched to my chest.
I could almost see myself reflected in his eyes. Plain brown hair, hazel eyes that like to change color, scar just across the nose and down my cheek, ragged robes...
I followed the scar with my fingers out of nervious habit. His eyes followed my movement, a small, hesitant smile on his lips.
"Remus," he repeated, stepping closer, eyes drifting fron my face and his hands brushinghair out of his face. Another nervious habit.
"We're not... disgusted with you or anything, you know. I mean, we thought you'd be able to trust us enough to tell us something like that, but we're not..."
When he was lying, Sirius was elequent. A reserved and soft voice, uttering meaningless nothings. But now, he was as awkward as any other teenage boy. My mind rested on the details to keep from getting too high hopes.
"You know I'm a werewolf and you still want to be friends?" I said stonily, trying not to believe him. "What kind of stupid git do you think I am? Do you have a bet going, or are James and Peter around the corner to laugh when I jump into your arms?"
He looked a little hurt and a little angry. His eyes narrowed and he chewed on his bottom lip for a moment.
"We still want to be friends with you. Of course, if you don't want to be friends with us, that's entirely up to you. God, Remus, why do you have to be so stubburn..."
He brushed a bit of hair out of his face irritably, glaring at me. A million thoughts ran though my head. I wanted to believe him, but knew I shouldn't, it would only end up worse in the end, getting my hopes up...
To hell with it. They were the first friends I ever made, to last this long.
"You haven't told anyone else?"
Sirius was quick to catch on to any thread of hope.
"We asked the nurse and she confirmed it, once we said we knew. Other than that, no one knows."
I sighed and started walking slowly back up towards the castle, letting him catch up to walk beside me, black robes bellowing in the wind as he bent down to look into my face.
"Remus? Are we... okay again?"
"Yes," I sighed weakly, turning away from him, trying to hide my smile. "Yes, Sirius, we are."