Look, I skipped a few years!
III
It wasn't untill fourth year that they got the animagus forms right, not untill fifth that we finished the Marauder's Map. Fourth year was also when James started pining after Lily.
It was fifth year that the Snape Incident happened, and I stopped talking to him for a good month or two, James wandering helplessly between us.
"Jim, I'm not apologizing again! He's being a complete prat about it, it's not like we did anything to him..."
They were standing behind the bookshelf in front of me, I could hear them.
"You know perfectly well, Sirius, that if anything had happened to Snape Moony would have been expelled, maybe even locked up. Stop acting like an idiot."
It was six weeks and three days since the actual incident. I wanted to forgive them, but every time I thought about it I wasn't any less angry. It always seemed as though Sirius would do it again, given the chance. Nevertheless, the full moon with out them had been the worst in a long, long time.
"I know you're upset about it, Pads, but unless you tell him, he'll never forgive you."
"And why should he? Fuck, I'm such a..."
"Go, look, just go, mate. The library is the best place for it, at least he won't yell at you or throw anything..."
There was a short silence as I stared down at my essay, words forgotten. He sounded... guilty. Angry, at himself. Fustrated.
"Remus?"
Hesitant. Scared.
I didn't look up.
"Well, um, you can just pretend I'm not here if you want to, then."
He made a strangled sort of laughing noise and half-got up out of his chair and then sat down again with a sigh, hand tangling in his hair.
"Look, I'm sorry about what happened. I got carried away, and it was really really stupid of me. You could've... Well, a lot of things could have happened. And none of them are good. And I was acting just like my stupid parents, not caring who got hurt..."
His hand slid into my vision and carefully took my quill out of my unresisting fingers.
"Forgive me?"
I sighed and looked up, feeling very old and very tired. I rubbed the scar on my cheek, almost feeling the bags under my eyes. I hadn't been sleeping well since that time.
"I'm still mad at you," I said quietly, seeing his face fall and his hand shake as he buried his fingers in his hair and he looked down at the table. "But... I guess if you're convinced that it was the stupidest thing in the world you could ever do, and you know that you completely lost my trust after that..."
He seemed to crumple a little bit, and smiled weakly at me, looking up again.
"I know, I know, I know," he said, finally looking cheerful and releaved. "I promise I won't do anything stupid like that again. Moony, you know I'm sorry..."
He was making his puppy-dog face. "Cheer up, you know you love me, come on, smile..." it seemed to say.
"Yeah, yeah," I sighed, gathering up my books and the roll of parchment, caping my inkwell and gathering the quill that Sirius has stolen earlier while he got up and hastily grabbed my bag. I frowned at him, but he only smiled sheepishly.
"I'll carry your bag for you."
I was surprised at first, but then took it in stride.
"Of course you will, Padfoot."