Hey everyone! Thank you so much for all of your encouraging reviews! I really, really appreciate themalways love hearing from fellow writers!
Just thought I'd give you a pre-OC fix….well pre for the pacific….
I hope this chapter's up to par…if nottell me how to fix it!
I still don't own them…..
CHAPTER THREE: The Love of her Sons.
Tick, tick, tick.
Damn clock. It echoed in her room, engulfing him in the silence.
It was getting to him. The silence was literally going to drive him mad.
She hadn't woken up yet. The doctors had guaranteed him, she was in the most comfortable state possible.
He looked down at her. Peaceful. Angelic. Changed.
Even in sleep, he could sense her distress. Tear marks still lined her face. Ever so often, she would cry out.
No, please, Sandy, help.
Each time it tore through him more and more.
Even in her dreams, he wasn't there for her.
And although it had been a few hours since the attack, the bruises had yet to fully form. With each new hour, a darker purplish hue arrived.
He held her hand, he caressed her hair. He tried so hard to be strong. He lost the battle and had to leave her for a moment. He remembered what she said. He thought of her words.
"Sandy I'm sorry."
It was the first thing she said. As soon as he had entered the room, she began to cry. It was the first time he saw the results of her attack. The implications of what had been done to her.
The consequences of his actions.
"Baby…no…this is not your fault. This was forced on you by someone evil. You have nothing to be sorry about." He tried to assure her.
"No, if only I had…"
"Kirsten. Listen to me." He looked at her with all the love and devotion he could muster up. " I love you so much. You are the reason I breathe every morning.
What he meant was 'this is all my fault. You are the victim here, not me.'
"I tried Sandy. I begged them." Her blue eyes closed.
Them. More then one person invaded his home that night.
He glazed over her last comment. Trying hard not to let his anger overtake him. Giving her his whole attention. Letting her talk. He would deal with them later.
"Kirsten."
"Sandy, please forgive me. I didn't want to be with another man. I swear to you."
Oh god.
It was so like her to feel guilty. To put him first.
Sandy felt like he was going to be sick.
In front of his very eyes, his wife had changed. She had lost her confidence in herself, in his love for her.
She was afraid of losing him, just as he was afraid of losing her.
What had she done to deserve this? And he knew instantly, she hadn't done anything.
He had.
Sandy was brought back into reality by one of the hourly nurse checkups. She smiled at him. This girl was new.
There must have been a shift change.
"You should get some rest too, Mr. Cohen." She advised looking over Kirsten's stats.
And he tried, but failed miserably.
That night, she had asked him not to call her father till morning, she had asked him to not upset the boys. They had been staying the night over at Zach's house. Some sort of comic night.
"Just leave them Sandy. I'm going to be fine. Let them have fun."
Fine.
It was now morning and he knew the phone calls would have to begin.
He'd start with his sons. He was less afraid of them.
"Dad," he heard Seth groggily answer the phone. "Dad, its barely morning. It's like six am."
Sandy rolled his eyes. Not even a hello. He should have called sooner. This was their mother. He should have been more worried, he should have checked up on them. Just in case.
More guilt.
Failure as a husband, now failure as a father. What a night.
"Seth."
That tone. His father's voice was filled with anguish.
One word and Seth knew something was wrong.
There was only one person in the world who could cause his father to sound so devastated.
Mom.
"Dad, is mom awake?" He asked urgently.
Sandy knew Seth was on to him. He knew instantly something had happened to his mother. They sure had a smart son.
"Seth is Ryan with you?"
"Yeah, he's asleep, but where's mom? She isn't downstairs cooking is she?" Seth prayed she was.
"Can I talk to her? See she told us we could stay out tonight. Something about a special evening. And of course I was mortified, but…"
"Seth," Sandy interrupted with a little more force. He knew rambling was his son's sole defense mechanism. He couldn't deal with it right now.
"I need you both to meet me at the hospital. Your mom's been…your mom's been hurt."
It had been five hours since Kirsten first entered the hospital. Four and a half since he had been told everything. Three since he heard her speak for the first time and only twenty minutes since he called their sons. They should be there soon. Sandy had no idea how to explain it to them.
Should he tell them everything? Did she want them to know everything?
He didn't even know the details.
He should really talk to her first. But he didn't want to wake her. She hadn't stirred in over an hour. She needed her sleep and Sandy alone would figure out what would be said.
He had to call Caleb. He couldn't, he would eventually, but not now. Sandy knew his father in law would be out for blood. Hopefully it wasn't his own.
Seth and Ryan ran into the hospital. They were both nervous. Neither of them had said anything the whole drive. It was tense.
His father's words echoed in his mind.
Your mother has been hurt.
What did that mean? Hurt. What like a paper cut? Hurt. It had so many implications. It could be anything. Seth counted on his paper cut theory.
Ryan on the other hand knew to expect the worst. He was convinced when Sandy said Kirsten was hurt, he meant she was dead. Always the pessimist. Seth used words to defend himself, Ryan used the worst thoughts possible.
Then you can always be prepared. It can only be better then that.
Unless the worst was actually the truth.
They saw the front desk and immediately asked for Kirsten Cohen's room number.
"Are you family?" the receptionist asked.
"Yeah" why would this woman not hurry up. This was his mother. The woman who gave him life. He swore to God he would have her fired if she did not answer him right NOW.
"We're her sons," Ryan explained, noticing Seth's panic.
"I'm going to call the room, just to verify."
"Are you kidding me?" Seth raised his voice.
"Mom." He yelled. "Mommy!" His voice screamed through the quiet corridors. He needed to see her now. To know she was okay. To hug her. To have her tell him to settle down.
Ryan looked at Seth with pure disbelief. He tried to make him stop. To calm him down, but Seth was not having it. And although Ryan tried, he too expected Kirsten to walk out from one of the rooms to hush her son down.
But Kirsten never came out.
The other families looked at them. Stared at them.
"Okay, okay. You guys can go right up. Room 204."
The squeak of Seth's converse shoes announced the boys arrival. Sandy had finally dozed off, even if it was only for a few minutes. He met them outside of the room.
"Dad, oh thank God. You know, they weren't even letting us up here! What is with that? And who is he?"
In the past half hour, the police chief had sent over an officer in civilian clothes. He said it was for their protection. He was to stand outside of her room, not say anything. Just observe.
Watch for anyone suspicious.
Ryan grabbed Seth's armed.
"Hey."
Seth followed Ryan's gaze. To that of his mother.
From a distance, he could see her bruises. Seth slowly walked to her side, not taking his eyes off of her sleeping form.
"Mom." He whispered. Seth sat on the chair his father had occupied. Right next to her bedside, he took it all in.
Ryan kept his distance.
"Dad, how did this happen?"
Ryan was afraid of the answer. He had seen his own mother in this state countless times before. Every time it had been done to her by someone claiming undying love.
But Sandy wasn't like that…was he?
Ryan's initial fears were put to rest.
"I don't know."
Seth looked at his father, with tears in his eyes. "Mom" he cried again.
He was like a lost child. He felt like a lost child.
Kirsten moaned in her sleep.
No.
Please.
The pain was evident in her voice. Seth and Ryan both cringed.
He stroked her hair, hoping to give her a sense of peace.
Her. His mother.
Seth remembered the countless times he ran to her with a cut or scrape. How many times she held him and calmed his tears. How many times she played Nurse Cohen.
"Mommy, it hurts! Please make it go away."
"It's okay Seth, Mommy's going to kiss it all better."
He wished he could do that for her. But this was bigger then any bandage could cover.
"Lets go talk outside." Sandy spoke, hoping not to disturb his wife.
Sandy did the best he could to explain the situation, trying to leave out the gruesome details. He told the boys that someone had gotten in, that he'd found her in their bedroom, and that he didn't know very much himself. Kirsten had yet to confide in him.
He left out the rape. He left out the gags and tape and wire. He left out the note.
They had lived in a gated community. They were supposed to be protected.
But they weren't.
And for the first time in his life, Seth realized his family was not above any other. There were no special gods or superheroes protecting them from the evils of the world. They were vulnerable and Seth didn't like it.
"I have to get out of here."
"Seth."
They were still in the hall. Sandy was letting the news sink in. Each boy reacted the same. Shocked. Worried. Scared. Angry.
Neither wanted to say anything.
"No, I just…I just need some air. Call me if she wakes up." He turned and quickly walked around the corner.
He didn't make it far.
Seth felt his whole body convulse. He felt the anger rise within him. He felt his emotion take over.
He couldn't break down in front of his father.
They were men. They didn't cry together.
Seth leaned up against the hospital wall. He slowly slid towards the floor. It was only 7 am and his world felt like it had just ended.
Someone had hurt his mother.
And even though his father did not share all the details. He knew.
She had been hurt far worse then Sandy had let on.
Far worse.
Seth let out a sob. He choked on his tears, on his thoughts. He grabbed a handful of his curly black locks. Trying to make his pain physical.
"Mommy…"
He didn't mean to wake her up. He wanted her to sleep through this whole episode. To wake up to a world that was past this.
She stirred. Her eyes slowly opened. She tried to focus on anything but them.
It was the first thing he noticed. Her normally blue eyes were grey. Sad, tired, different.
"Hey honey." She softly spoke. Her mouth was dry. She needed water.
"Hi Kirsten. Can I get you anything? Do you need more pain medication? Do you want Sandy? Seth's around here too."
Kirsten smiled at his gestures.
"You're making me think you want to be anywhere but in this hospital room."
Ryan looked down at her. His eyes proclaiming "I'm sorry"
"I feel the same way Kid." She said. "I could use a glass of water."
Ryan quickly obliged. He grabbed a plastic class from her bedside and poured the substance into it.
"It's kind of warm. Do you want me to get you fresh water? Or bottled?" He knew she liked her Evian.
"No, it's okay really."
Ryan took the glass over to her. He carefully helped her sit up and held the glass for her to take sips from. She was still too weak to do it on her own.
Ryan noticed the bandages wrapped around her wrists. Sandy hadn't told them much. Just that she would be fine, make a full recovery.
She caught him looking at her arms. She swallowed. Kirsten didn't know what to say. She didn't know how much he knew already.
She hoped it wasn't much.
"Ryan I…"
"Uh Kirsten, I'm going to, I'm going to, uh, Seth. I'm going to call Seth. He'll make hell if he knew you were awake without him."
I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable Ryan. I would end this if I could.
"Okay." She said quietly. He noticed her change. He hoped he hadn't cause her to feel bad.
Damn him if he did, but Ryan knew he had to get out of that room.
He couldn't let her see him get upset.
Seth peeked in on his mother. He hadn't spoken to her yet. He was afraid.
Afraid of his mother? It sounded so wrong. So cruel.
He wasn't afraid of her, he was afraid of what had been done to her. He was afraid she wouldn't be Kirsten Cohen. He was afraid they had taken away the mother he had always known.
The strong, always in control, overprotective, yet understanding Kirsten Cohen.
Ryan had called his cell phone numerous times. Seth couldn't answer it. He just wanted to be alone.
But he needed to be there for his mother. For once in his life, he was thinking of someone other then himself.
Mark this one in the books, Mom.
"Knock, knock." Seth whispered into the room. She had her eyes closed.
Was she asleep? Maybe he should come back. Not disturb her.
"Hey Sweetie." She smiled up at him.
Kirsten was so glad to see her son. She had wondered where he had been.
How was he talking the news?
She was worried about him.
Kirsten knew that behind his strong exterior, her son was terrified. She could read him like an open book.
The way his eyes diverted. The way his hands nervously twisted. The way he shuffled his feet.
Their relationship may not have been completely deep on the surface, but she understood him better then anyone else.
"Seth, honey."
"Mom, I'm sorry. I can't…" he turned to walk out. He didn't have the strength.
"Seth, talk to me. It's all I want."
"Well, you ruined the comic convention."
She smiled at him.
"Mom, I didn't mean it like that. I…"
"No. I'm sorry about that."
Please be yourself, Seth. I don't want this to change you.
Kirsten felt a wave of pain rush through her. She had spent most of the morning cringing and holding it in. Not letting anyone know.
This time she couldn't hide it.
She closed her eyes. And beckoned it to go away.
Not in front of my son.
"Mom, are you okay?"
"Yeah. It just hurts to breathe sometimes."
Seth walked back over to his mother. He held her hand, stroking her fingers. Silently praying for her pain to go away.
Please God, make it stop. Make her be okay.
Seth didn't like to see his mother cry. He hated to see her weak. He once again felt the emotion rise in him.
Seth Cohen: Tough Man.
Seth Cohen: Mamma's Boyand Proud of it.
Kirsten felt his tears landing on her hand. It had been so long since she had last seen Seth cry. Like herself, he wasn't into public displays. But today was different.
She too felt herself begin to let out silent tears.
Mother and Son.
It wasn't her physical pain. She could handle that. It was his pain. Her family's pain. The pain she knew they too were feeling.
Because of me.
Kirsten felt a wave of guilt rush through her. She let it linger for a few moments.
This was not her fault.
Hopefully after telling herself a few hundred times, she might actually believe it.
That's it for nowI wrote more then I thought I would, that's why Caleb isn't in this one. Ryan will have a bigger response too….I'm working on four now….I have chapters ready for after four thoughhaving a tough time with that chapter for some reason…hope to post either on Sunday or Monday….but I have a Law examso we will see! Thanks again! Keep your reviews coming!
Up Next: Caleb really does find out...Ryan responds in his own way...Kirsten gets to go home...