Okay, guys, I have to admit this is one of those chapters that has gotten in the way of future chapters and is therefore more of a filler then anything else….sorry bout that, but have no fear, the drama is far from over…

I still own nothing OCish…

Please, please review!

CHAPTER FIVE: The Long Road Home

Kirsten had been in the hospital for 12 hours and 31 minutes. Ryan had counted while he was alone in the waiting room. Each minute felt longer then the one before, each excruciating, each unbearable.

He couldn't sit still. He tried to talk to Seth, but for once, Seth didn't want to talk back. He and Sandy had gone for a walk just moments before. They had asked Ryan if he wanted to come along, but he thought they should have some time alone.

He tried to call Marissa, but she wasn't answering. He even tried Summer.

God knows Caleb wouldn't want to have a conversation.

She was the only one left.

Ryan slowly walked to her room. It felt like déjà vu. He once again took a breath before entering, he once again knocked and she once again said,

"Ryan."

Ryan looked at her from the door frame. She had begun to get color back in her cheeks. Her hair had been pulled back into a ponytail. Strips of fallen strands were slipped behind her ear. She looked so young. Not like the professional woman he always pictured her as.

She didn't look as weak as she had just a few hours before.

"Hey Kirsten, I'm, uh, I'm sorry about before. You know, when…"

She could instantly tell his inverted self was taking over. Kirsten was determined to make this as painless as possible.

"Ryan. It's okay. I really don't want you to feel uncomfortable. And if that means you need time, I'll understand."

Time? He didn't want time, he wanted to be there for her.

His surrogate mother.

Even in her time of need, she was trying to comfort him.

"No, it's okay. I mean I've seen it before."

Kirsten realized the boy was far beyond his years. She felt an intense emotion inside of her. She wished she could erase his own past. Make him feel safe and not a bear witness to such violence.

"Tell me about it." Kirsten inquired. She hoped she wasn't being to forward. Ryan had never been a man of many words.

"It's nothing really, I mean just stuff with my mom."

Ryan looked at her with eyes of sadness, not only because of the pain he felt for her, but the pain he felt for his mother. She had been to the hospital countless times. Kirsten didn't need to hear the memories. His memories.

But still, he felt compelled to humor her. She had always been a convincing woman. Ryan was glad to see that hadn't changed.

Ryan thought back to the first time his mother had been hurt by one of her boyfriends.

A six year old blonde tuft boy bounded through the small house door. He had just been given an award at school for winning the class spelling bee. He couldn't wait to tell his mother.

Ryan could sense a difference in the house. The tv was not on, it was for once quiet.

He didn't like the silence.

He looked for his brother, his mother. Neither seemed to be there.

He called out, "Mom, are you home?"

It wasn't his mother who answered, it was her newest boyfriend, Mike.

Ryan was used to having various men around. He never really noticed them until then. Neither he or Trey particularly liked the man, but both knew they had no say in the matter.

"Ryan, why don't you go out and play or something. Your mom and I are busy."

"But I have to show her something," Ryan declared as he walked to the back room.

Mike tried to make it to the door before the young boy entered, but was too slow. The alcohol draining him of his energy and coordination.

"I said go out."

Ryan looked to the floor, where he saw his mother laying.

She had blood coming out of her nose. She refused to look at him.

"Just go out Ryan," she whispered.

"But I have…" Ryan was scared. He had never seen his mother bleed before.

He had had a bloody nose once, from when Trey punched him, and he knew that hurt a lot. He wanted to make sure she was okay.

"Ryan you heard her, she doesn't want to see what you have right now."

Ryan never said anything about the spelling bee, he never told her he had won. He hid the certificate underneath his bedaway from the world to see.

"Ryan, I am so sorry."

"I didn't really understand what had happened."

He wished he could go back to being innocent, but no matter where he went, the Atwood luck seemed to follow him. The kind of luck that ended up hurting people.

The room once again became silent, awkward.

"Kirsten, I know what happened."

All of it.

The comment slipped out, but he was glad it had. It felt like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders.

At her expense.

He instantly regretted it.

She licked her lips and looked away from him. He'd made it worse. He'd only wanted her to know.

That he knew.

Her response, or lack there of, made him tense. Should he say anything else? Should he just go?

"Did Sandy tell you?" she asked quietly. She stared down at her hands, rubbing the bandage around her wrist.

"No, I heard him talking to Caleb. I shouldn't have kept listening, but I just, I guess I just wanted to know."

She nodded her head in confirmation.

He could tell there was a range of emotions going on in her head. In an instant he saw her face go from surprise, to shock, to pain.

"Honesty is the best policy, my ass," he thought. "Say something Kirsten, please say something."

"I'm glad you know."

Ryan was now the speechless one.

"I don't want this family to be harboring big secrets from each other. And as much as I wish I could hide this from you and from Seth, I think you need to know."

Ryan stood next to her bed. He grabbed her hand. A gesture that surprised Kirsten.

"I just want you to know that, I'm sorry about what happened. And that I, that I love you."

And at that moment, those three words made her world just that much better.

Seth and his father were walking around the hospital parameters. The rain had finally stopped, but they could still feel the residue in the air.

It smelled like spring.

But today the thought of spring or sun or anything other then his mother made him sick.

Life is no longer normal. Trivial topics were a thing of the past.

"Dad, what happened?"

Seth prayed his father wouldn't lie to him. He prayed it wouldn't be a sugarcoated response. For once he wanted his father to be serious.

Sandy looked at his son, not only through the eyes of a father, but the eyes of a husband.

His first instinct was to protect his wife, but Sandy knew Kirsten wasn't just his wife. She was Seth's mother.

And at this moment, he had to switch gears and focus on his son.

"I came home late from work. She was in the bedroom."

Sandy didn't want to continue, he wanted to go back to her, to ignore his son's inquiring mind. To make it disappear. He didn't want to subject his son to the images that were constantly replaying in his own mind.

"Dad, I know all of this, I want to know why her wrists are bandaged up, I want to know why she has marks all over her body."

Seth was more nervous then he had ever been before. Inside he knew what had been done to his mother, he knew, but he needed to hear it from someone else.

"Seth when I found her on the side of the bed. She was tied up to the post. They had used wire."

Wire.

Seth's breathing became labored, almost to a complete stop. Sandy had second thoughts about continuing. His son shouldn't have to hear the rest.

Ignorance is bliss, Seth.

But Sandy knew Seth would not let it rest, he knew he wanted the full story.

"She was blindfolded, I think for a moment unconscious, and there was duct tape on her mouth."

"Seth, she was raped."

Seth felt like he was going to throw up. This happened in his house. It was far worse then anything he could possibly imagine.

Rape. Rape. Rape.

The very word sounded sick, violent.

Seth could feel vengeance rising in him. He wanted to hurt someone. To make them feel the pain he was feeling, the pain she was feeling.

But all he could do was fall back onto the wood bench.

The weakness in his knees, the tears begging to fall, the strong arms of his father holding him up.

After his conversation with Seth, Sandy felt at a complete loss. His wife was broken, his son was broken. Sandy worried about keeping the family together. The responsibility lying solely on him. He was determined to protect them.

Sandy would not let them be hurt anymore. His own guilt had to be pushed aside. Guilt could not lead to healing. Guilt could eat you alive.

He rushed back to be with his wife. He felt like he had been away from her for too long. Seth had gone to spend more time alone. Sandy didn't want to leave him alone for one second. He wanted to bring the boy back into the hospital with him, for his own state of mind, but Sandy knew each person had to deal in their own way. And if that meant giving Seth some time alone…so be it.

The doctor was in with Kirsten. Sandy listened in for a few moments before entering.

"Kirsten, I just want to make sure you know your options. There is help for you out there."

Help. His wife wouldn't accept it.

"Thank you Dr. Kingman. I'll think about it."

Sandy believed there was nothing to think about it. There was in no way they would survive this without outside help.

He held his tongue and entered the room…putting on the biggest fake smile he could muster up.

"Hello Gorgeous," he spoke to her.

"And hello you to handsome." Dr. Kingman joked. He knew in situations such as this, bringing a little lightness into the room always helped.

"Kirsten and I were just talking about her jumping the joint and getting out of here." The doctor looked down at her paperwork. There was nothing left they could do for her. He could prescribe as much pain medication as legally possible, but the rest of her healing came through time.

"Are you sure about that Doctor? She hasn't been here that long." Sandy's voice filled with worry. He was afraid something would again happen to her, he wanted to be in the company of professionals.

"She's doing well. Really there is no need for worry. I think she can go leave." The doctor hesitated using the word 'home' He was sure Kirsten was healthy enough to leave the hospital, he wasn't sure she would be emotionally stable enough to make it home.

"Kirsten, if you want to stay here longer you can."

Kirsten had been quiet since her husband had entered the room. She had laughed at the Doctor's joke, she listened as he explained her options.

She wanted to leave, she wanted to forget about this whole situation. But she didn't necessarily want to go home. And as much as her mind screamed at her to just stay put, Kirsten knew, for her own sanity, she needed to find familiarity. If that meant home, then so be it.

"No. I think getting out of here would be just fine."

Sandy's eyes looked at her with skepticism. He didn't say anything though. But she recognized the look. She chose to ignore it.

"Great." The doctor said. "I'll just send in the nurse to do one more examination and we'll work on the paperwork." He touched her hand as he rose to leave the room.

"Kirsten are you sure?"

She nodded her head. "Could you run over there and get me some clothes. I can't leave this place looking worse then I did when I arrived."

His father had called him to ask him to go home and pick up some clothes for his mother.

She was getting released in a little while.

Thank God.

Seth knew his father didn't want to leave the hospital without her. That's why he sent Seth. Seth didn't necessarily want to drive home. He didn't want to enter her room, but he would do it for her. Because she was his mother.

The massive house came into view. It looked as if nothing had happened. The investigators have long since gone. So stoic and exclusive, his house almost seemed to reign in the neighborhood. And yet, it seemed so small. To Seth the house would no longer be the same place he had grown up in. No matter how much time passed, he knew it he would always look at it in a different light.

The home in which his mother was attacked in.

Pushing the thoughts aside, Seth entered the front door. The light coming in from the windows gave an eerie glow to the rooms. He could see the dust through the rays.

His father had told him that he had made sure the maid came in that day to straighten things up. After the police left, she had worked her best to remove any mark of the night's attack. Seth took notice of the extra clean kitchen and the new stash of groceries.

So she wouldn't have to do it.

He slowly walked to his parent's room. It felt as if he was going to hell. His feet dragged along the carpet.

He did not want to do this.

His hesitation caught him and Seth had to stop for a few moments.

"This is ridiculous."

Seth made a bolt for the door, but his hand refused to turn the handle. He was shaking.

He closed his eyes and shoved the door open.

Now all he had to do was grab her clothes, but first he had to get the courage to open his eyes.

One, two, three…nope…try again.

Seth's brown eyes finally opened slowly. He took the environment in.

Just like the exterior of the house, the room looked the same.

Seth had almost expected a drastic change of décor. Not necessarily in the literal sense. He almost wished there was some indication of last night. He couldn't get mad at something that seemed so familiar. He wanted the room to stick out.

So he could focus his anger on something.

Still, Seth did not like the vibe of the room. He quickly rushed to his mother's dresser. She had more clothes then Marissa and Summer combined. He could have swore he hadn't seen her in half of the outfits.

So like Mom.

Normally the thought of going through his mother's private items would have made his skin crawl, but not today.

Today, he realized how small his mother was.

He grabbed some of his undergarments. The doctor had suggested loose fitting clothes. Her ribs were tender, she needed to be comfortable.

Seth opened another drawer. It was filled with workout clothes, t-shirts and lounge pants.

He rarely saw his mother in the state of relaxation required to wear these clothes.

This was the right drawer.

He picked out a pair of grey cotton drawstring pants and a black Berkley long-sleeve tee.

It was her "I'm too tired to get anything done, lets watch a movie" outfit.

Perfect.

Seth took one last look around the room. Their bed had a new duvet, pillows and spread. A lamp had been replaced and there were fresh flowers on all of the table surfaces.

It looked like a goddamn page out of Martha Stewart Living.

Kirsten changed into the clothes her son had brought her. She studied him after his return. Seth was uncharacteristically quiet. As she was awaiting her release, Kirsten flipped on the television. She really hoped a mindless sitcom was on.

Instead she saw her house.

The headline proclaimed, "The Attack on Newport Royalty: Next at Five."

Dear God. Kirsten felt like she was going to be sick.

Newport knew.

Sandy had entered his wife's room to pick her up. He saw her still body, a television remote shaking in her hand.

"Baby, what's wrong."

"It's on every channel."

"What's on every channel?" he asked her.

"It is." Kirsten couldn't be more specific. She was at a loss for words.

Sandy looked up at the television, it was a set of commercials, nothing more.

"Sweetie, maybe we should stay here a little longer."

"Every channel has their own name for it. No one mentions the details specifically, but everyone will know." Kirsten could feel her heart racing. She had hoped she could easily slip back to the world in an almost invisible sense.

Not anymore.

The news had not mentioned the rape, just that the Cohen household had been broken into and there was a pending police investigation. One person was taken to the hospital, but her condition was not known.

More details at eleven.

Sandy finally saw the broadcast. He didn't know how to respond.

He knew he was furious, he knew he wanted to wring out the media for disregarding his family's privacy. He also knew they had a right to do so.

"Kirsten, we can go somewhere else. To a hotel or your Dad's house. We don't have to go back there tonight."

"No. Let's just do it." She was trying to be brave. Kirsten was putting all of her energy in her strong exterior.

She wanted things to be normal again.

Sandy just nodded his head. He helped her rise from the bed and into the required wheelchair exit.

The nurse entered the room with all of the paperwork. Numbers for councilors and her pain prescriptions. The doctor had also given her a sleep aid, and a sedative, for what he called 'the bad nights.'

Sandy didn't want to think about the bad nights, but he gladly accepted the medications.

She helped gather the rest of Kirsten's belongings and led him out to the exit. Seth and Ryan were waiting in the drive with the Range Rover. Ryan quickly jumped out of the driver's seat to open the back door for them. They helped get Kirsten settled and Ryan was about to climb in the back.

"Why don't you go ahead and drive." Sandy spoke to him.

Ryan was caught off guard. Sandy always drove, no questions asked.

Things change.

He nodded the okay and Sandy sat next to his wife. She gingerly placed her head on his shoulders and he lightly kissed her on the cheek. She closed her eyes, not looking back at the hospital.

It felt as if they were bringing the tragedy home…but Kirsten knew it had never left. The drive home was thankfully long.

Other then a few offhand Seth comments, it was also silent.

The first flash jolted her back to reality. Sandy felt her tense up. He put his arm around her.

"Be careful, Ryan. Don't hit any of them."

On purpose.

The media was waiting. With their cameras, their suits. Their questions.

She could hear them through the closed windows.

"Mrs. Cohen, how are you doing?"

"Mrs. Cohen, what happened last night?"

Mrs. Cohen, Mr. Cohen, Mrs. Cohen….

Sandy kissed her forehead.

"You okay?" He rubbed her back, hoping to ease her.

She nodded her head yes.

But she meant no.

The media couldn't get into the gated community. They had to stay behind the lines of private property.

Sandy made sure to call security and threaten their lives if anyone got through.

They awkwardly entered the home. Only Seth knew the state of it, and he had assured his father it was acceptable.

Her injuries made the process slow, but they were by her side every moment. She would smile up at them and apologize for her keeping them.

It wasn't until she was in the hallway leading to her room that she fully realized her surroundings.

Kirsten couldn't move.

If felt as if all the air in the room had been sucked out and she was left there alone, defenseless.

Gasping.

It's my home. This has been my bedroom for years.

I can't sleep in there.

Sandy, I can't sleep in there.

She didn't have to say anything.

He knew.

And he immediately tried to divert her attention.

"Honey, why don't we spend a few days in one of the guest rooms."

On the other side of the house.

Okay, that's it….hope it is all that you expected, and if not, tell me!

Next up:

The police actually show up, Kirsten begins to deal and heal….and soon enough… Kirsten tells her story. After that, we'll see if we can figure out who did this…