--- --- Reality Dawning --- ---

The car drove slowly through the thick curtain of snow. A blizzard howled outside and they were hardly able to see anything. The storm seemed to gain strength with every flake that poured itself out of the ominous gray clouds. Sighing, Daniel pulled up at a small motel whose blinking neon signs were barely visible from the street.

"We won't get anywhere in this weather. Maybe we'll be able to reach Jackson tomorrow." His hand hit the wheel in a gesture of frustration before he turned around to face his friends.

Sam felt Daniel's eyes drift over her and continue towards Teal'c and Cassie, obviously asking for their assent. His eyes returned to her but she was too tired to even nod. It was as if every ounce of energy had been drained from her body, leaving her numb and crushed. Hardly noticing Daniel leaving the car and making his way through the swirling flakes, her eyes stared unseeing into the storm.

The flight had been rather quiet. None of them had felt like small talk and, once they had been in the car, the silence had settled heavily on them. Yet Sam welcomed it and wrapped it around her like a blanket, reaching out for it like a starving man for food. Her brain was busy sorting through the pictures that flooded her mind. Any sound disturbed her and she didn't want to be disturbed. Her thoughts were focused on one question. Where did it all go wrong?

His face turned up in front of her eyes. Anger had been visible in those warm brown eyes when he had left. She had seen the look before but it had never before been aimed at her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get rid of the image of chocolate eyes, for the first time totally unguarded. Eyes showing despair. Showing anger. Disappointment. Love. Hate. Crushed hope. Betrayal. Her betrayal.

The moment he turned around and left the SGC she had known that she would probably never see him again. And it had hurt; damn, it still hurt. But it was all her fault. If she had supported him more then, fought their dismissals, maybe he would still be alive. Maybe she would have been at his cabin with him, instead of sleeping in a lonely house.

To be fair though, Jack had been the one to walk away from her. She had wanted him to stay so badly, but her damn pride had held her back, made her throw herself into Pete's arms once he left. And, now, she was stranded. Alone, in a house she despised, with a job she hated and a husband whom she...

Like Jack, she had been forced to leave the SGC. After a year, she had finally married Pete and she had hoped that her new job as a teacher at the Academy would contribute to her marriage. She had known how hard it had been for Pete to watch her go out day after day, never knowing whether she would be home in the evening or whether she would never come home again. And at first, it had worked. At first, Pete had managed to accept only easy investigations that allowed him to be home at night, to spend time with her, now that she was assigned to the Academy.

But, then, the fights had started. She couldn't shake the feeling that he was controlling her life, making it impossible for her to breathe. As a result, she had fought back, told him to back off and allow her some privacy. He had, after several discussions, transferring to an undercover police unit, so that he had been away sometimes weeks in a row.

By now, she felt like she didn't know Pete anymore, like he was a stranger. They had chosen different paths that were rapidly heading away from each other. This was one of the reasons she hadn't wanted him to come along. It didn't feel right to come to his cabin with Pete, a man who was so far from her heart, but never with Jack.

A knock on her window shook her out of her dark thoughts. Daniel looked at her, worried, keys dangling from his fingers. The effort to push the door open was nearly too much and Daniel helped her out. Brushing his hand away, she steadied herself at the car. Granted, she was weak but she was not that pathetic. The worried look on Daniel's face penetrated her fuzzy thoughts and new guilt flashed through her at the thought of causing him even more pain, adding to the weight already pressing down on her shoulders.

"These were the last rooms. Teal'c and I will share; Cassie, this is your and Sam's key."

The parking lot was sheltered from the snowstorm but Sam was sure she could feel the wind tugging at her clothes, making it hard to take the next step towards the motel. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Daniel and Teal'c stepping into the room next to hers.

Somehow it was reassuring to know that they were just one door away. And Cassie would be there, right beside her. She was surrounded by friends. Though the thought didn't help much to ease the pain, it made it easier to bear.

The room was rather small but she didn't mind. She was too tired for anything. Collapsing on the bed, she didn't even bother to change clothes. Instead she surrendered to the feeling of absolute exhaustion, seeking refuge in sleep's darkness.

--- --- --- --- ---

Sleep didn't come easy to Daniel these days. Sometimes he had the feeling that he had to bear the weight of the galaxy on his own and he wondered how Jack or Hammond could have ever dealt with it. But the constant pressure he had to stand since Jack left the SGC was overshadowed by guilt. Jack was dead. He had died out there, alone. The ice had been too thin to support his weight. As simple as that. No heroic act, saving the world. No friends to keep him company.

Guilt. Daniel saw it in Sam's face. They had stayed silent when Jack had been abandoned. He knew for sure that Teal'c had stayed in contact with Jack and the thought was comforting. At least Jack had had one friend. Guilt. It was gnawing at his insides, eating him alive.

Next to him, he heard Teal'c snoring. The presence of his former teammate, the sleeping pattern he knew so well, also had a calming effect on Daniel's strained nerves. He had missed his team, all of them. After their glorious victory over the Goa'uld 11 years ago, the SGC had gone public but none of the world's leaders had felt too comfortable with the American military presence at the Stargate.

As a result, all military personnel apart from some guards provided by various nations had been removed and the Stargate had been handed over to a committee, consisting of representatives of nearly every country on Earth. Civilian representatives. The Cheyenne Mountain Complex was no longer US territory but as neutral as Switzerland.

Daniel could still recall the angry spark in Jack's eyes as if it had been yesterday. The threatening voice still echoed in his mind, when he had stormed out on the President and him.

"With all due respect, Mr. President. You can't be serious. There are dangers out there worse than the Goa'uld. You can't simply shut down the SGC."

"This is none of your business, Jack. It's time to face reality. The time of war is over; now is the time of exploration. We need to share this with the world. And I won't shut down the SGC, just the military branch."

Jack's eyes had glared at Daniel, asking him for assistance. But he had said nothing. He had just stood there, silent, glancing at his shoes. He had thought it was for the best. This was the last time he had seen Jack. His warning had been echoing through Daniel's head for all these years that he had been chairman of Earth's Stargate Committee, ESGC for short.

"Don't you dare call me when you need help. Let Earth be destroyed. I don't care."

And, now, Daniel wouldn't be able to ever ask his friend to forgive him. Maybe this was something like a cosmic hint to make him see reason. There was another friend whom he had abandoned. He wasn't proud of it, but soon after her wedding he had lost contact with Sam. He had simply assumed that she was happy at the Academy and with Pete. How could he have been so blind, he wondered not for the first time today. Even though the momentary situation was hard on her, he could see the dark shadows under her eyes which were so bigger now and she had lost weight. It couldn't be Jack's death that had done this to her and Daniel scolded himself for letting this happen to her. Whether she had wanted him to be there or not, he should've been at her side. This was what friends were for, right? He promised to himself that he wouldn't let things get out of hand again.

Turning around on the bed to take a look at the clock on his nightstand, he hoped that he would get the chance to apologize tomorrow. He wasn't looking forward to tomorrow, well, actually, today. The sheriff of a town called Jackson had called him, telling him about Jack. If Daniel hadn't been so shell-shocked, he might have smiled at the coincidence of the naming.

His thoughts were running in circles, drawn to reality by the weather. Outside, the snow storm seemed to increase in intensity, the wind howling loudly, mirroring Daniel's mood.

Squeezing his eyes shut, he waited fruitlessly for sleep to lull him in its song. Sleep that refused to come.

--- --- --- --- ---

The storm had calmed down by the time they had continued their slow journey through the masses of snow. Silence had once again settled over the small party but that did not bother Teal'c. He had never understood the human need to talk where words were meaningless. They reached Jackson around midday. Blue sky and bright sunshine broke through the heavy clouds, belying the freezing temperatures.

Teal'c's gaze fell on the sign welcoming them in Jackson as they drove past. He could vividly imagine O'Neill's smirk at its sight. 'Celebrating the Past - Anticipating the Future' was written in green letters, a huge tree in the middle.

He would never see that smirk again. Although his grief was not as openly displayed as Daniel Jackson's or Samantha Carter's, he still felt the loss of his friend just as deeply. O'Neill had been a brother in arms and more. He had invited Teal'c, a stranger back then, into his life, although he had just minutes before helped to implant a symbiote in Skaara. Jack O'Neill had helped him through the first strange years on Earth and Teal'c would forever be grateful for the things this man had done for him.

Teal'c had been the last of their small party to see O'Neill. He had brought Ishta and they'd visited O'Neill last summer. Finally, after all those years, Teal'c had been able to walk around in public, not hiding who he was. This had been a great relief as it had been annoying to be referred to as 'Murray'. After the Goa'uld had been defeated, Teal'c had reluctantly returned to Chulak. He would have loved to stay on Earth. The planet had grown on him, and he felt sorry to leave, but it was necessary.

He had never before allowed his personal feelings to interfere with what was best for his people and, seeing the now-free Jaffa fighting against each other in an attempt to gain control or power, he had known that he had no choice but to return to Chulak. He had been successful. With Ishta and Rya'c at his side, he had led the Jaffa towards a peaceful freedom.

This dream would have never come true if it had not been for O'Neill. As a warrior, Teal'c knew that war demanded losses but to lose O'Neill in such a way seemed inappropriate and senseless. He deserved so much more. It was simply wrong for such a warrior to die like that. There were only two ways a soldier deserved to die: either in battle, fighting for a noble cause or, after all fights were fought, peacefully in the arms of his beloved.

Daniel Jackson stopped the car in front of the local police station. He turned around to face Teal'c and then Cassandra sitting on the back seat.

"Cassie, Teal'c, and I'll go talk to the Sheriff. Could you...?"

A small nod in Samantha Carter's direction indicated Daniel Jackson's intentions. Cassandra simply nodded while Teal'c got out of the car. His gaze wandered over to the two women and stayed longer on Samantha Carter. Sadly, she was just a mere shadow of the warrior he used to know. She seemed to take O'Neill's death poorly, very poorly indeed. Making certain Cassandra would be alright, he turned to follow Daniel Jackson up the stairs.