Author: Gitania
Rating: PG, for one semi-bad word.
Summary: After failing to shoot Locke, Shannon confronts Sayid and learns that what she really needs is not revenge, but peace.
A/N: I planned this as a one-shot, but now that it's finished, I'm thinking that I might extend it. Please R&R, and let me know what you think, and if I should keep going. Enjoy! - Gitania
To Make Peace
The rain was blinding her as she slashed her way through the trees. She had to get away. Boone was dead, Sayid had turned against her, and she would never get another chance to get rid of John Locke. It was all over – she had nothing left.
Her own footsteps and the continued downpour hid the sound of her pursuer's running from her ears. She was fuelled by her anger and it drove her forward, desperate to get away from them all, but it also made her clumsy and easy to follow. Sayid caught her easily.
"Shannon, wait." He slowed to a walk, but she was quickly moving away from him.
"Please," he said, trying to catch her eyes, "I need to explain."
"I don't care what you need!" She was looking straight ahead, striding through the trees as fast as she could manage.
Sayid made a grab for her arm, and her momentum spun her around to face him. She had never seen him so full of purpose. His dark eyes searched her own, and she narrowed them in disgust.
"How could you do that to me?" she yelled, throwing her anger out at him, "I'll never get another chance to avenge Boone's death, and it's all your fault! He was my brother, and that bastard killed him!"
"Do you really believe that killing Locke will make you feel better about your brother's death?" Sayid challenged her, "Do you think that watching someone else die will make you feel whole again?"
Shannon snatched her arm away, "I can never be whole again! You've ruined everything! I had to make things right, and you wouldn't let me! I wouldn't have had to fix things myself if you hadn't been such a coward!"
"You feel that I am a coward for not taking a man's life when you asked it of me?" Sayid could not believe what he was hearing. "I am not here to be your brute force! I have made my own choices, long ago, and I will never be the cause of another man's death again. If this makes me a coward, then so be it. Killing does not make you brave, Shannon, and it will never bring you peace."
The rain streamed down Shannon's face, and mixed with her tears. "I need to make it right," she whispered desperately, "He killed Boone, and I need to make it right."
Sayid pulled her into a hug, "You will never make it right this way. I believe it was an accident. Boone died trying to rescue us all. He thought he could save us. You may have your time for grief, and no-one will try to take that from you, but one day you must make your peace."
Shannon slumped against him in exhaustion, her body weak from the emotion of the day.
"I'm not even sad," she whispered, telling her darkest secret as she clung to him, "I don't feel anything. I'm just empty."
"I know," Sayid stroked her hair, remembering his own losses, "But that will pass. Soon you will be sadder that you ever thought possible – your body will ache with it. Then, after a while, you will begin to heal. It will be a very difficult road, Shannon, but I promise that you can survive this. You can make your peace."
Shannon looked up at him, as he wearily pushed a strand of wet hair from her face. "Help me?" she asked weakly, crying out of fear of what she would have to face.
Sayid smiled sadly down at her and held her close. He kissed her hair and whispered knowingly, "I will do what I can. Peace can be a difficult thing to find."