A/N: Hello. My cold hasn't gone yet so I'm sitting here, typing this up and blowing my nose. Very funny right? Not. You have no idea how much Kleenex I have used up in the last 3 days. I'm sorry for not posting for so long, I just had to do all this stuff at one time and barely had time for anything.

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Chapter 9

Sirius Monkey Trouble

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The rest of the week was a nightmare. Sirius got more out of control so even Lily, Maria and Stacy had to look after him to make sure that he won't get into trouble. But somehow, the crazed monkey Sirius got much stupider and smarter at the same time. Everyday of every hour he tried to escape and somehow ended up succeeding. He escaped by all means. Even once he climbed the walls (don't ask how) and the ceiling and got out through the wiring that was on the door and disconnected the sensor placed on him.

After the incident...

"I don't know how he managed to get through. It's like everything we try to keep him in doesn't work." Said Stacy.

"Well, if we can barely survive when he's like this, I don't even wanna think about what he's gonna do when he reaches the after effects." Said Lily.

"What do you mean? The after effects will be worse?" asked James fearfully.

"Afraid so. He will become all crazy monkey/human and then he will calm down."

"Oh man. We're dead meat. He's gonna destroy the whole school."

"And he's giving us a bad name." said Remus.

"Why?" asked Maria.

"Because he's acting all crazy and half the girls on our dating list don't want to have to do anything with us anymore." Said Remus.

"Dating list?" Lily looked at James.

"I haven't dated anyone from that list since the end of last year." Said James, looking fearfully at Lily.

"Good. Has he?" asked Stacy, pointing at Sirius who was looking at them with interest.

"Nope. He just smiles at them since Remus here wants them to stay on the list." Said James.

"Why?"

"Because I wanna give a list of all the girls that we've dated and that are on our dating list to my cousin. He thinks that werewo— Remus suddenly stopped. "He thinks that I don't have many girls to date."

"What did you wanna say?" asked Maria.

"I said that he thinks I don't date many girls."

"No, before that."

Luckily Remus didn't have to answer because at that moment, Sirius attacked Maria's hair.

"Ahhhh. GET HIM OFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF!" screamed Maria.

The rest tried to pry Sirius off of Maria. Finally they did.

"Ugh. My hair." Said Maria. She looked like a mess. Sirius searched through her hair like as though he was looking for something.

Sirius broke free of James and opened the door and ran out.

"SOMEBODY CATCH SONKEY!" Bellowed James, running after Sirius.

"Oh man." Said Remus. He ran out with Peter.

"Great." Said Lily. She ran after Remus. Stacy ran out too.

There was some screaming from below. The group ran down the stair case. Once there, they saw that Sirius was attacking everybody's hair. People were screaming and yelling. Well, the people whose hair was attacked by Sirius were screaming since he did pull out a lot of hair and the rest were yelling. In one Slytherins hair, Sirius found a bug. He stopped attacking and started playing with the cockroach. [Ewwwwwwwww]

Lily wrinkled her nose.

"You nasty." Said Stacy to the Slytherin girl. "Wash your hair."

"GET HIM!" yelled somebody in the crowd. Everybody threw themselves on Sirius. They didn't actually catch him because he slipped out and started running.

"This is pointless." said Lily. "We can't catch him, he's too fast."

"Well do you have a better idea?" asked James.

"Actually I do. WINGARDIUM LEVIOSA!"

Sirius stopped running because he was lifted into the air. He struggled a bit but then calmed down.

"Everyone, may I have your attention please?" said James. Everybody turned to him. 'We are very sorry for this, but it's not our fault that Snivellus put the curse on him." With that, the group left, Lily still levitating Sirius.

Once they got back, James and Remus locked and boarded up the door with chains and a lock and threw away the key.

"Uh, Remus, maybe you shouldn't have done that." Said Maria. "How are we supposed to get out?"

"Uh...."

"Oops." Said James.

"We can make a key." Said Lily. She waved her wand a duplicate appeared. "There you go, now what are we gonna do about him?"

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Meanwhile...

"Bad sonkey, bad." Scolded Stacy.

"Oooh ah ah?" asked Sirius. He pouted his lip at Stacy.

"Ohhhhhhhh..." said Stacy.

Then Sirius took out a banana and gave it to her.

"That's very sweet of you. Yes it is. Yes it is." Said Stacy in a gushy voice.

"Stacy, grow up." Said Maria. She wasn't in the best mood today after Sirius searched through her hair.

"Awww, you gave me a banana." Said Stacy. "Would you like me to open it for you?"

"eeh oohh ah ah." Said Sirius, gesturing the banana to her face.

"No thank you, I do not want to eat it."

"Ahhh wee dee hehe." Said Sirius unwrapping the banana. Once it was opened, Sirius once again, tried to force it into Stacy's hands.

"No thank you, eat it yourself." Said Stacy.

Sirius pushed it towards her.

"No Sirius." She said sternly.

Sirius didn't listen. Instead, he did a war cry and smashed the banana in Stacy's face.

There was a deadly silence, then:

"I'M GONNA KILL YOU SIRIUS!" Stacy flung herself at Sirius but missed. She landed on the floor. "ouch." she said weakly.

"Oh my god, are you okay?" asked Maria.

"OW, I'm gonna have a bruise the size of the Great Hall." Said Stacy. The banana that Sirius gave to her was all smashed up in her face and pieces were falling off.

"You need to go wash off." Said Lily.

"Yeah, I do." Stacy went. The rest made a cage off metal by magic and locked Sirius inside. Of course, they didn't use a real lock. They performed a spell that wasn't going to open the cage until Sirius was back to his normal self.

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The rest of the week the gang spent watching Sirius. He tried to get away but they used their wands to lock him in so he couldn't trick magic. Finally it was the day of the after effects. Sirius actually turned into a real monkey and started screeching. Maria and Remus enlarged his cage so that he would have more space to move. After a day of living in fear that he was going to escape, it was all over.

The next day Sirius was himself again. He had his body and his mind back.

"Phew, it's great to be me again." He said. "When I get the chance I am gonna kill Snivellus."

"I wouldn't blame you." Said Lily.

"Maria, I'm sorry about messing up your hair and Stacy, sorry for the banana."

"It's okay." Said Stacy.

Maria nodded.

"Good." Sirius kissed Stacy.

"Excuse us, we have a lot of catching up to do." Said Stacy and she and Sirius walked out.

"Ooh, I hope they don't do somethin' they'll regret." Said Peter.

"Oh yeah."

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A/N: So how did you like it? Personally, I thought that it was funny. And once again, give Auntarctic a round of applause for her wonderful ideas. #Applause and cheering#. And you all are probably wondering when Remus and Maria will get together. Well frankly, so am I. And now, may I suggest you press the button that will review?