A/N: Sorry it took so long but I didn't have the time to write the next part. I also wanted this to be a bit on the longer side. So here it is read and tell me what you think with a lovely review.
Disclaimer: I don't own RK so don't kill me
Dear diary or any one that's listening,
I'm so miserable I can't find a way to completely shut Kenshin out of my mind. Almost
every one that I know keep asking about the "fight" and if they don't know about the
"fight" then they ask if Kenshin and I are going out ha, yeah, right. I guess Kenshin's
rumors haven't reached them yet. I wonder what the Hello Kitty I could have done to get
that idiot so spiteful. Oh yeah, and that Hello Kitty thing that I said its something that
I started to say when the whole "fight" supposedly started. I don't think words can
express how I feel I can't believe it, I didn't do any thing, that's the best part I didn't
anything and that Baka wont even look at me let alone tell me what I did. I feel so messed
up not like I can't stand him talking to me but he won't tell me what I did wrong and the
rumors are just beyond wonderful, NOT! I heard that he walked in to the boy's
locker room right before P.E and yelled Kaoru is a bleeeeeeep. I refuse to cuss even for
that low life good for nothing Baka. Now every one in my fifth period P.E class wants to
know what I did to him. I just can't believe that he said that. He also has a few
accomplices in his "quest" to break me. There is this girl, her name is Mei, and she acts
like she is my friend and I thought I could confide in her but no, I tell her that Kenshin
stopped talking to me for some odd reason and she goes and tells him that I was crying
over him. Trust me the day I cry over him I will tell you diary or whoever is listening, I
will tell you. I refuse to cry over that monster anyway, why would I want to cry over
someone that doesn't care about me. I guess I can't blame him for all the pain that I'm
going though. It's my fault too I guess we I should just let go of it but for some reason
it's too hard for me. Don't even make fun of me. I do realize that I should just let go. You
know what. I will write everything that happened to me so far and then I'll burn it or I'll
drown it in the river and it will be gone forever along with all my feelings for him. So
where to start………………………………………………………………………………..
I went to school just like I do every day but today Tomoe said she had something
important to talk to me about. Kinda weird because we don't really talk. Before school
started she met with me under the tree.
"Kaoru please help me I just can't stand it. He won't stop holing on to me like were
going out of something. Sorry but its bugging me so much."
"Gomen, I can't do any thing ether he apparently is fighting with me and he won't talk to
me, nothing. I think he is using you to get to me I think he thinks that I get jealous when I
see him all over you. Again I'm so sorry he is using you like this but I really can't do any
thing."
"That's alight Kaoru I understand what you're trying to say but is it possible that he is hurt
that the both of you aren't going out?"
"Tomoe, he never told me that he wanted me in anyway. He was always fine with
knowing how I felt for him, he never said that it bothered him that I felt that way ether."
"I think he cares about you but nothing happened and so it hurts him. I blame him though
he could have easily told you how he felt and this wouldn't be the problem."
"How can you say that he cares for me when he doesn't want to even look at me, I just
can't see how you would think that."
"Think about it Kaoru he keeps using all these different girls to get to you. Maybe he is
trying to hurt in the same area that he is hurt in."
"I don't know, but it would make sense he didn't talk to me for like two months then out of nowhere he tells me that he asked this quote unquote hot girl out and she said maybe."
"Who was it?"
"Yoko…"
"Ha, Yoko is he serious? I don't think that she would say yes anyway."
"Yeah, Tomoe that's why the key word there is that she said maybe,"
"Kaoru, how funny, anyway hang in there I'm sure there will be many more like Yoko,
Mei, and me. Don't let it get to you he isn't worth it okay."
"I'm fine with him trying to get to me over, and over, and over again, but what about you
he is still gonna be all over you and I can't help in any way."
"Kaoru, it will be fine I have an idea. And for this to work I can't tell you what's going to
happen. Is that okay?"
"Fine, but what ever it is am I going to be included in this Tomoe? If I am it might just
make matters worst for me."
"Everything will be fine I promise, its better that you don't know what I'm going to do
because if you did then it would be like you are involved. Worst He will also think you
put me up to it so don't worry a bit about it."
"Okay, I trust you but be careful things are already bad for me as they are please, please,
please don't make this worst."
"I won't Kaoru I promise, but one thing why didn't you and I become friends sooner."
"I don't know Tomoe maybe because I used to be covered with Kenshin germs and I
would have gotten you sick with baka."
"Kaoru, then you must have a resistance to his illness of baka."
"Ether that or I'm infected too. I mean I did like him so much that I was close to loving
the kid."
"That's so mean it's just I can't help but think its funny."
"That's okay I know I'm too young to understand love so I try not to worry my little baka
head about it."
"You know Kaoru your a lot stronger than you give yourself credit for."
"Arigato." We ended our conversation there and I promised to me meet her at lunch when
she would have already put the plan in action. The day passed pretty normally until I got
to orchestra. Yeah I play violin I'm a big dork. But Kenshin has to be worst because he
plays violin and piano. I walked in and found out that we were going to watch the Pirates
Of The Caribbean movie because we were playing songs from it. I was about to sit
alone or with Sano and Enishi. (A/N: In this story Enishi isn't related to Tomoe and Sano Enishi, Kaoru and Kenshin play violin because this story is completely based on something that happened to me. Every character in the story is one of my friends named after the Kenshin-gumi. And if you're wondering just for this story Kaoru is me.)
I was about to sit down when I heard Sakura and Hana call my name.
"Kaoru come sit with us."
"Oh I was going to sit with Sano and Enishi."
"Jou-chan don't worry about it go ahead and sit with them."
"Are you sure Sano?"
"Common Kaoru you're around guys too much this will give you the opportunity to make
more girl friends. Besides if Kenshin does sit next to that would give us a chance to talk
to him about a few things alone."
"Okay then bye Enishi, bye Sano."
" Hey Kaoru you've decided to sit next to us."
"Yeah Sakura, I'm around guys way too much and I think I need a little break. So Hana
you've seen this movie before right?"
"Uh-huh I've seen it a lot of times, I have the DVD."
"Oh I do too but the break form the violin is very welcomed."
"That's true but I don't have the DVD, I go to Hana's house to see it."
"Oh." I sat there with Hana and Sakura and we talked about things more than watch the
movie and before I knew it the bell rang. I lasted one whole class period in the same
room as Kenshin but didn't talk about him at all. That to me was sooo great I was just
too tired of it I couldn't stand talking about him any more. I was about to walk out the
door when I was suddenly pushed aside so that a certain rude person could pass though. I
couldn't believe it I leave the kid alone and he still messes with me. I turned to confront
him but all I got was a "humph" and he was gone. Hana and Sakura saw what happened and rushed to my side.
"Oh my god what was that for?"
"I don't know Sakura, remember he's mad at me for something." This didn't satisfy Hana
so she voiced in.
"Mad at you or not that doesn't give him the right to just shove you out of the way like
that." We walked out and I met up with Tomoe and told her what had happened.
"He did what? How dare he I should have been really mean to him in the letter."
"What letter?"
"I wanted to meet you at lunch to discuss the letter I wrote to him."
"Was that your plan that you didn't tell me about?"
"Yes it was I wrote him a note and I had Sakura slip it in his backpack. I kept a copy of it
so that you would be able to read it. Here." She handed me the paper and I began to read
out loud.
Kenshin,
I wanted to write you this letter because I want you to know that I view you as my friend
and nothing more. I'm sorry if you can't except that but please I'm just not comfortable
when you hold on to me. I don't feel that way for you and I hope you can understand that.
If you feel that there isn't a girl around that doesn't feel for you then I'm very sorry. That
person is out there and you know her too. I think she is meant to be with you not me.
Please understand,
Tomoe
"You gave him this exact letter?"
"Yes."
"Oh Hello Kitty."
"What Kaoru?"
"This is bad, he is probably mad it me now."
"Kaoru he was already mad at you."
"Oh right. Why did you tell him that?"
"I'm sorry if you didn't want me to say that but I wanted him to realize that what he was
doing to you was wrong and that inside he really does want to be with you."
"I'm still in shock because you told him that."
"Do you still care about him?"
"Tomoe, I really don't know? There are times when I know with out a doubt that I do and
times when I hate him so much. There are times when I can't stop thinking about him and
days when I would rather die than talking to him. I'm sure everyone has days when they
can't stand some one but they just really couldn't be without that person."
"Really, I'm not trying to be mean or anything but I think that's so moving."
"Are you messing with me Tomoe?"
"Honestly Kaoru I'm not so don't get mad or anything just think about it. Kenshin will
realize one day what he did to you was wrong. I feel that he will wake up one day
covered in cold sweat after he realizes that you are now gone from his reach and that it is
almost impossible to get you back. He's going to have sleepless nights and constant
nightmares the day you move on. The day that you finally find the person to complete
you he will be haunted with the realization that he was the one that pushed you away.
You will have a family and be very happy except for the few times that you remember
that you used to love him."
"Don't you think that's a bit much? I never said that I loved him."
"But I can tell that you do. It's in the way you look at him."
"What!"
"Have you ever seen the way you look at him."
"You mean in disgust?"
"That's funny but no its like you have a way of telling him how you feel just by looking
at him."
"Okay Tomoe now I know you are getting a bit on the delusional side. Did you eat some
bad sashimi or something?"
"No I'm pretty sure I didn't. I just sincerely think that the both of you will end up
together. And if not together then he will be lonely with out you."
"I just can't find the part of me that agrees with you. He is always allover other girls.
That hentai will never want to be with me."
"But a day will come when Kenshin will get tired of lying to himself and his feelings and
he will look for you again."
"Tomoe, I think that's a bit too powerful for me to understand." The conversation ended
there. I couldn't believe she thought that Kenshin was secretly longing to be with me. I
find that to be a joke. Isn't it though diary or my unknown audience? Is it really too hard
to believe though that Kenshin is doing this just because is hurt by the fact that he is too
much of a koshinuke to admit his feelings for me? I find that way to untrue, I'm not
capable of affecting any one like that. At least I think I'm not. After that conversation
with Tomoe I just couldn't stop thinking about what she said. I tried to shut it out of my
mind all day but no use I just couldn't do it. I was also couldn't stop thinking about how
the "evil one" pushed me. Just kidding, anyway that actually hurt. I guess he just won't
be happy if he hurts me emotionally he needs to hurt me physically too. Sometimes I
want to hurt him but I just really can't. It would probably make things worst. The next
day I told my best bodyguard Misao, Kenshin pushed me yesterday and she totally
freaked out. The best part was that at that exact moment he walked by and she started
yelling at him.
"Hey Himura, you ugly freak you get your sorry butt over here." Kenshin didn't respond
he just stood there and looked at Misao and me in a very bad way.
"Misao leave him alone its okay don't mess with him that's fine."
"Hey Weasel what's up with you I thought this fight was between Jou-chan and
Kenshin."
"It was until he had the nerve to push her."
That's when Enishi walked in to the conversation "What did you do now to get the girl
yelling Himura." Then Misao and Sanosuke decided to tell Enishi the whole story about
how Kenshin pushed me, why they think he pushed me, and how there gonna make him
pay.
"What's up guys?" The rest of the Kenshin-gumi chimed in.
"I swear you all have the worst timing ever. Misao, Enishi, and Sanosuke were just
talking about how they were gonna kill Kenshin. Now they're gonna have to tell you
guys the story all over again. Honestly I think I'll live knowing that Kenshin is the most
spiteful person I've ever met. Trust me I should have never told Misao about how
Kenshin pushed me."
"Hey Jou-chan its okay, we're just trying to stick up for you so just relax." Apparently
Sano was trying to calm me down, but it wasn't exactly working. I looked at Kenshin and
I knew I was mad at him but I couldn't help but miss the old Kenshin the one I privately
thought of as "My Kenshin", the old Kenshin that would call me at least twice a day, and
would be happy to hear me pick up. I remember every time I heard my phone ring I
would get exited because I knew it was him. I miss that Kenshin. One day someone asked
him why he wasn't talking to me.
He just replied, "I'm a new Kenshin, I don't need her anymore." That line will be burned
in my memory forever. I just can't shake it and every time I try to look him in the eyes
I'm greeted with a glare and all I can remember is that same exact line "I'm a new
Kenshin." I just can't stand it, I miss the way things were before and I have a strong
feeling that I won't ever be that way again…
A/N: Well that's the end of it that was my whole thing of pain and whatever, That line is still burned in my memory. Another thing that will be burned in my memory is that look on your face when you thought my story ended. But it's not over yet.
When I finally got back to reality I realized that the Kenshin-gumi were all in there
signature fighting stances.
"What the Hello Kitty are you all doing? You all look like you're about to kill him or
something! Leave Kenshin alone!"
(Misao) "I can't believe you would still want to protect him after all that he has done to
you."
(Enishi) "Hey Kenshin you see that after all that you've done to her she still stands up for
you. I just want to know how the freak you sleep with yourself? Don't you feel bad at
all?"
(Kenshin) "Actually about that part when you asked how I sleep with my self very well
actually. And the part about if I feel bad about what I'm doing, hmmm…. actually not
so much"
(Sano) "You are sooo dead for saying that."
"The whole Kenshin-gumi has gone completely homicidal."
Suddenly they whole group said at the same time, "Don't call us the Kenshin-gumi
anymore from now on we will not be known as the Kenshin-gumi!"
Then Enishi voiced out; "We should call the tree that we hang out under the "H.H" a.k.a.
Homie Hangout."
"Buuahahahah! That's the stupidest thing I ever heard!" Misao said through her
uncontrollable laughter. Then Sanosuke said with a completely straight face, "We can
call it the Batmobile." I just smacked my face in shame of his stupidity. I swear I saw
Kenshin try to hold back his laughter and keep a straight face. I'm surprised that he is still
here just waiting for his impending doom. Maybe he missed being with all of us at the
same time. But of course Misao wouldn't let a remark like that slide without voicing out
her very straightforward opinion.
"You big Baka that's the name of the Batman's car not his secret cave or whatever you
call it." Enishi who was still in his own little world then thought of yet another stupid
name for the place we hang out at.
"We could call it the "Sista Hood".
"What are you talking about? That's just about as ingenuous as the "Batmobile."
"Hey Jou-chan are you trying to make fun of me, cuz I just want to know?"
"Maybe I am Sano." Thank goodness Misao stopped that weird conversation about what
to call the place we hang out at.
"Hey wait weren't we out to kill Himura today?"
"Oh yeah, hey Misao, Sano, and the rest of you get ready to take that lunk head down."
They yet again assembled and donned their fight stances and were ready to go take
Kenshin down.
"Again leave him alone I'm fine knowing that he doesn't like me and I don't care if he
never speaks to me again."
"That doesn't matter he needs to get slapped in to realization. He needs to get beaten into
submission."
A/N: So I finally finished it! Hope you guys like it, please read and review. Thanx!
