(I put this on chapter seven because I wanted to get Reignashii and Sou-chans' gurl 4-ever's review for this chapter)

A/n: Yay I'm finally back with a new chapter so hope you all like it. I hope you guys still want to read because it wouldn't surprise me that you all don't want to read any more because it took me a million years to update the story. Sorry.

Disclaimer: Everyone knows what I'm going to put here

He needs to be beaten into submission….

Dear Diary,

The year is now coming to a close and we are all excited about the upcoming dance for everyone that is leaving junior high, the trip to an amusement park, and our promotion ceremony. Everyone except me that is. I'm going to miss this school, every tiny memory good or bad. I wish I could relive this year… the moments that I had spent with him were so important to me I just couldn't let go. But I have to, no, I need to I'm worth way more than I treat myself. But even though I know this I still prefer to tell myself like I'm not worthy enough for that evil nutcase. I can't stand looking at him and that blank expression on his face. Tomorrow night is the dance. Might as well go and try to enjoy myself….

Kaoru put the little red book in the drawer of her nightstand and turned the light off. She didn't have any clue why this was hurting her so badly. "They were right I am walking barefoot on eggshells just to keep myself from hurting someone that could care less." She whispered to herself and then she trailed of to a night of rest of a small drama that was her life. The next morning she got ready and went to school an hour before it actually started. That always left her with thirty minutes of time alone before everyone she knew got there. Everyday for five months she waited in the cold for her real friends to come, not just the people that would take effort to keep up a conversation. During those thirty minutes everyday she thought about how Kenshin was treating her, what she did to deserve that, and how it would end. She began to talk to herself…

"What did I do to deserve this? If I did anything it must be very bad because hurting this much over someone is not human."

"Come on Kaoru you know that you care about him very much and that's why you are hurting so much." The wrestle between her and her mind was about to begin.

"No never I don't care about him anymore he could rot his stuck-up butt in hell."

"Look you are different now, you've become more hollow and you only act happy. You can only give that kind of power to someone you LOVE."

"What the Hello kitty are you talking about? I don't love him. I don't, never, not me I don't love him!"

"Do you know why it hurts so much to see him all over other girls? Because they're not you, they're not you Kaoru. And it kills you that no matter how much you love him your never going to have him."

"…Shut up… Shut… up"

"I told you it hurts you to much for you not to love him." Kaoru stared at her reflection in the puddle at her feet.

"Why are you doing this? Why are you doing this to me?"

"Because I want you to stop lying to your self about how much you hate him Kaoru."

"But I do hate him…"

"He has finally cracked through you sanity. It isn't healthy to look in the mirror and ask yourself how much you are worth. Wondering if you were too fat, too ugly, or too stupid for him."

"Your wrong…"

"I bet this is exactly what he wanted to do to you. You claim religiously that you hate him. But you don't… you hate yourself and how "unworthy" you are for him." Kaoru was now near tears. Everything that people were telling her the past three months was coming back to her now. She understood why this hurt her so much. Kenshin hurt her enough to make her claim to hate him but the real effect was that she hated everything about herself. The way her entire being was completely drained of every last trace of self-confidence by one person scared her.

(Kaoru) "Your right I do care… I hate myself so much now. I can't look in the mirror anymore because I've let myself lose everything…"

(Mind) "I told you can't go on thinking you don't care for him because you do, you really do."

(Kaoru)"…"

(Mind) just because you care it doesn't mean that you've lost the ability to stop being yourself."

(Kaoru)"but I can't do that."

(Mind) "You can Kaoru you really can."

Dance…

Kaoru got herself ready and was soon on the way to the dance. She got there pretty early and found herself waiting to get the class picture taken alone. She hated the feeling of being alone just hated it. They finally were ready to take the picture and Kaoru found herself sitting next to Tomoe.

"Hey Kaoru how are things?"

"Oh, Tomoe, they are fine."

"That's nice to know."

"So anyone to dance with tonight? I bet Kenshin will ask you for sure."

"Oh please no, I don't exactly want to dance with him tonight."

"Why do you say that?"

"He just doesn't realize that we are just friends and I don't feel that way about him."

"Oh… Gomen."

"No Kaoru don't apologize. Why don't you dance with him."

"Because he would rather get breast cancer as a man."

"Kaoru don't compare yourself to cancer. But if that is the case would you mind doing me a favor?"

"What do you have in mind?"

"Would you like to stay with me tonight and keep him away."

"What are you talking about Tomoe"

"Well Kao since he will stay away from you then maybe if you are with me he won't ask me to dance."

"Sure why not I don't have anyone to dance with anyway." Tomoe and Kaoru walked over to get in line for the picture. After being put in a spot to sit Kaoru and Tomoe smiled big then headed over to the dance. The night started with Tomoe trying to stay away from Kenshin at all cost. Then when he was dancing with friends Tomoe and Kaoru went off to a place they couldn't see him. The first slow song came on and Kaoru could hear it from outside the gym. She felt a slight pain in her heart as the song progressed. She didn't realize how badly she wanted to dance with her most "beloved" enemy. The pain gas getting stronger as Kaoru imagined what it would be like to dance with her one and only.

"Kaoru? Are you okay? You look a bit…distant."

"Huh?"

"I was just saying that you looked a little distant."

"Oh… just thinking."

"About him huh?"

"Just what it would be like to dance with him and just let the song control the moment, our moment. Then I realized that he is probably in there right now with some girl dancing away and not even giving me a spare thought. That hurt me, just the thought hurts me."

"It's alright he can't be that happy looking for any girl to dance with him when the best person for him is sitting right here in pain."

"I doubt he is hurting the way I am right now."

"Kaoru…"

"… I guess I have to learn to be stronger." The private conversation was interrupted when Suki came to tell them that she just had a wonderful conversation with Kenshin.

"Hey Tomoe, Kao, guess what. I was talking to Kenshin and he wanted to dance with me. I did for a little then I asked him if he wanted to dance With Kaoru and he replied, "Uhhhhhhhhhhhh no. I would never dance with her that is just wrong. Besides I hate her guts. She is a (female dog, except he really said it)." Then I asked him, "Don't you care that you're hurting her?" He responded, "f---- Kaoru and what she thinks or feels."

"Did you come here just to tell Kaoru something that she could have smelled from a mile away?"

"No I just wanted to tell her that I tried to ask and he said no."

"I didn't tell you to ask him if he would dance with me let alone come back and tell me that. Did you not think that would hurt me?"

"I'm sorry Kaoru."

"Okay." At this point I wanted to jump of a cliff, get my body hit by a car, and after that thrown into a river.

Kaoru went home to an empty house and locked herself up in her room. She walked over to her nightstand and picked up her yearbook and turned to a page that was printed with the words "reserved for my crush, someone special, oldest friend, and so on. Her eyes were glued to the empty boxes reserved for someone special and my crush. The tear that she kept bottled up for the past three months suddenly made its way out in steady flows. "Get a hold of yourself. I said I wouldn't cry over someone that doesn't care about me and here it is.

I hate her guts… she is a b----… f--- her what she thinks or feels

"How could he?" Kaoru took one last glance at the book before she threw it to the ground and screamed, "I hate you too Kenshin!" she collapsed to the floor and erupted in tears.

A/n: Kinda dramatic but hope you guys like it. R&R… And I don't mean rest and relaxation.