Thank Godsmack for this chapter. At least for motivating for me to start writing it. Updates will probably be less often. School started today. Ugh… On the bright side I get to see a friend I haven't seen in a long time. Woo! Expect the next chapter to be a little brighter because of it. She brings out the side of me that is totally insane and thinks of very naughty things. Well naughtier than usual…
Kagome looked at Sango and smiled. Sango always knew what to say to cheer her up. Hell, it was relaxing just to be in her presence. She could almost feel like she was back in her 'fantasy' world. Could almost feel the companionship she shared with Sango in that other world. Could almost feel a fire crackling and snapping as they sat beside each other just taking comfort in the other's presence. She wanted to be there so badly at times that it was a physical pain.
She looked around and glanced at Sango. "Ever feel like you're the only sane one here and that you're the one surrounded by crazy people? "
Sango looked at her oddly. She raised an eyebrow and then shook her head. "If you feel that way Kagome, then you must be crazy. Don't you realize that everyone admitted here feels like they are the only sane ones? Maybe we all are and those that put us here are the crazy ones. I mean define sane to me. There can be no one standard definition that applies to everyone. It's impossible. It has to be flexible. We are the ones that they consider a danger to society and ourselves. But they are plenty of 'sane' people out there who are way crazier than us that are rotting in this 'institution'. They just don't hear those little voices or they just hide them way better than some." Sango said all this bitterly. "Why bring it up know, Kagome? You've been here long enough. You should know this by know. God knows I do."
Kagome nodded and looked at her feet. She knew where Sango was coming from. She often felt like that herself. And she saw some of the things people did. And they called it entertainment. People who did crazy stunts and then would broadcast it for a whole nation to see. They often did seem crazier than most of the people she knew in the institution. She timidly looked up at Sango and saw her staring resolutely out the window.
"Don't you wish you could be free of this place so you could lead a somewhat normal life? I mean, here we do nothing but talk to doctors so that they can help us work through our problems so that he can be re-admitted to society. They treat us almost like animals. Drugging us when we get too aggravated for them to handle us normally and then if we need to be punished they isolate us. How does that help us? It doesn't." Sango whispered.
Kagome stared at her in surprise. She was compelled to ask the one question she had avoided asking and avoided answering. "Sango, why are you here?"
Sango jumped, having forgotten Kagome was there. She frowned and thought about the question she had been asked and the answer. "I… I… don't really feel up to answering."
"I am here because of the other world. I can't really tell what reality is. I believe that this world is not real and the other one is. Yet I have enough doubt to believe that this one also has the possibility of being real. How can I tell? I mean my memories of the other world seem more real than any memories of this one I might have.
"Even you Sango. Occasionally even you seem to be so surreal. And you know the weird thing? I knew who you were before I met you. Well not really you you. But I knew what you looked like, what your name was and that you even had a younger brother named Kohaku. He visits you every once in awhile does he not?"
Sango stared at her from her half standing position. She was gaping at Kagome like a fish out of water.
"W…what are you talking about? How could you know me before you met me. That's impossible. Don't talk about anything foolish. I wouldn't want to lose your friendship. Please don't talk like that. It gets me worried."
Kagome sighed. Her little ploy had failed. She should have known it would. She ruthlessly squashed the urge to get up and yell at her that it wasn't foolish, and why should she lose her friendship? After all, everyone here was supposed to be crazy and talk like crazies. But apparently Sango didn't want to be reminded about it from Kagome.
Sango had paused as she got up to walk away. She looked at Kagome staring dejectedly at the wall. She had been startled that Kagome had shared why she was there. And something about it rang eerily true. Almost like she should know what she was talking about. She shook her head to clear it of the sudden fuzzy feeling. She continued to walk away, realizing that in some unknown way she had hurt Kagome.
Kagome slowly got up and crept slowly from the room. She paused every time an orderly walked by. She eventually got back to her room and managed not to collapse before she could sink onto the bed. She sighed and tried to focus her thoughts. She had hoped that Sango would tell why she was here if she told Sango why she was here. Apparently that wasn't going to work. She could sense that it was something similar to why she was here. But she wanted to her it directly from Sango's lips.
She looked around opened a drawer in her little nightstand. Carefully she pulled out a battered book. She deftly opened to where she left off and pulled a pen from the drawer also. She hesitantly started to write. She paused every once in awhile as if to think about what she wanted to write.
Sango wandered the hallways as she thought about what Kagome told her. She had been bothered by what she had heard. The words had seemed to engrave themselves upon her mind and she couldn't seem to focus on anything else. Obviously Kagome had hoped to get Sango to tell her why she was there by telling her why Kagome herself was there. She had been disappointed when that failed. Sango though wasn't ready to deal with the painful memories that had caused the reason for her being committed. She didn't want to have to confront her feelings as she told and then watch as the look of hate and fear spread across Kagome's face. It was hard enough to be with Kohaku when he visited. He could hardly be in the same room with her without bolting as her every movement.
Sango sighed and continued to meander. Sensing somebody was watching her she looked up and saw a young girl standing in front of her watching every movement she made as she walked. She approached the girl slowly and then knelt when she was in front of the girl.
"Hi. I'm Sango. Did you just get here?"
The girl nodded mutely and just continued to stare at Sango. Sango smiled softly and just stood up and held out her hand to the girl. The girl slowly took her hand. She grinned cheerfully and the continued to walk down the hallway slowly so the girl didn't have to rush to keep up.
The girl followed Sango on silent feet as the finally entered to common room for the children.
"Here is where you can play with other people your age. There are plenty of things to do if you don't want to play with others also. I know I feel like that sometimes. You just don't feel like dealing with other people. But anyways if you ever feel like seeing me, most days I am down that hall and in the big room at the end. Anyways, I guess I'll just lee you here. Hopefully you'll make some friends. Bye." Sango said and then she silently left the little girl.
Sango made her way quietly to her room and tried to not to run into anybody else. Too much human contact and socializing made her extremely uncomfortable. She didn't like the looks the orderlies gave her either.