Title: Getting Even
Theme + Number: #51/Diet
Genre: Romance/Humor
Warnings: None
Character/Pairing: Zechs/Noin
Word Count: 855
Rating: PG
Summary: There are some things you just never ask a lady about.

Zechs Merquise was worried, and curious no doubt, but couldn't seek out the reason without deadly results.

Noin was, for lack of a more tactful term, getting fat and he couldn't think of a single thing that could have caused it.

At first, he figured perhaps it was age. Then perhaps, what she'd been eating. But that brought Zechs to another conundrum.

Noin was already on a diet. At least, that's what he supposed the strict regiment of foods she ate the past few weeks was. He didn't dare ask if it was a diet or make mention of the fact she was getting a bit- sizable about the middle. Oh no, Zechs would rather take on all the gundam pilots and Treize at once than dare ask her that. He valued his dead-man's life too much to end it so soon.

But- he blamed it on the Peacecraft blood in him- it was his nature to be curious in dangerous situations. That's why he wasn't too surprised during the wars to hear that his sister had just gone waltzing up to a boy who'd threatened to kill her.

Hoping to pinpoint Noin's situation, Zechs began to compose a list of changes he'd noticed in her.

First of all, he'd noticed Noin beginning to get rather picky about what they ate- more healthy foods and less junk-food. Strangely, this was prior to her getting fat.

Then, came her insisting on taking less-dangerous jobs with the terraforming project. Which he also found odd, seeing as she usually insisted he took the easier jobs because she didn't want him getting hurt. He supposed this all tied back to that whole "Zechs is dead" incident, which she still hadn't quite forgiven him for.

But the third, and most startling of changes, seemed to be in her size. Between the diet and her usual job providing ample exercise- one would think she'd be losing weight and not gaining it. But Zechs was certain, not only was Noin gaining weight, but she was gaining a lot of it.

That afternoon at lunch, he decided he would brave the odds and ask about it. He was the "Lightning Baron" wasn't he? What was an angry wife, who'd been trained as a professional soldier, wielding who knows what as a weapon after you'd called her 'fat' to him?

Zechs decided perhaps he'd call Relena and have her ask.

But as the conversation at lunch turned to things Noin wanted to eat, Zechs began to piece the situation together.

"Zechs, next time we send for supplies- can we get some pickles?"

At first the question threw him, but then- a faint memory of his Mother prior to Relena's birth flickered in his mind.

"Noin, is there- something you'd like to tell me?" He asked, his eyes drifting to her stomach.

She smiled, shaking her head as she crossed her arms. "So you finally noticed?"

Not wanting to mention that he had indeed noticed, but thought it was another matter entirely- he just nodded.

"Is it because you're…."

Noin laughed at the eager yet hesitant tone of his voice.

"Yes, Zechs. I'm pregnant."

He blinked in shock as that sank in fully, "But why didn't you…"

"You made me wait a lot during my life, Zechs. I just thought it was time to give you a taste of your own medicine."

Zechs opened his mouth, as if to retort, then closed it as he shook his head.

"Were you planning on waiting until the child was actually born, Noin?"

"I figured you'd notice something was up with how much weight I've been putting on. I'm actually surprised it took you this long unless…" Noin's eyes narrowed, "You thought I was just getting fat, didn't you!"

Standing abruptly, Zechs headed for the door.

"It should be time to check in on the new equipment."

Noin stood, her hands firmly planted on her hips, "Zechs…"

Walking back over to her side, he leaned down for a chaste kiss.

"Always the stubborn type, aren't we Noin?" His hand drifted down to her stomach, a smile creeping onto his face, "And I'll see about those pickles you wanted."

Eyeing him suspiciously, Noin pecked a kiss on his cheek.

"Let's just hope they don't make me fat, right Zechs?"

Retreating from the room before his wife could hound him about the issue further; the blonde-haired man stopped in his tracks as the full situation sank in.

"Wait… I'm going to be a Father?"

He was answered with nothing but Noin's laughter and what he imagined must be the most amused look on her face.

"Well, you are getting old, Zechs."

She could hear the footsteps pause, then the door to the bathroom closed and Noin stifled another laugh, "Are you searching for white hairs already?"

After a moment, the muffled reply came through the door.

"They're not white. It's just an extremely light blonde, that's all."

Returning to her seat at the table, Noin couldn't help but laugh again. Because now, she was going to have something to get back at Zechs with for thinking she was getting fat.