Imitation of Life
By: Lady DeathAngel
Disclaimer: not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said
Warnings: language, discussion of homosexuality and abortion which are heavy issues and bring up points that not everyone will agree with
A/N: So, I finally wrote it! Jeez, took me freakin' long enough. ::shakes head:: Anyway, it's a bit darker in tone than the last chapter but it was how I was feeling at the moment and flowed better than any other time I've tried to write this chapter. And believe me, I've started and restarted this too many times to count. It's all pretty much pre-slash for now, but eventually Zack and Freddy will be together. And Summer and Katie? Who knows .. . not even I do, which is sad. Thanks for all the lovely feedback so far and please continue toread, enjoy, and review!

Sometimes Katie wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep and never wake up. Which wasn't a typical Katie mood. She was generally the kind of girl with a fair attitude, not quite positive and not quite negative. She was the kind of girl that people wanted to be around because she wasn't too high-maintenance. But there were days when it was too much and she didn't want to have to deal with anything anymore ever.

Her mom passed it off as a teenage thing. Something that all teens went through. Something normal and not to be blown out of proportion. But it was different for Katie the same way it was different for Billy and for Freddy.

The three of them had known they were gay for years. Freddy had fought with it, Katie knew. He'd dated girl after girl freshman year and he'd gone through a pretty serious bout of depression the year after that before finally realizing he couldn't change who he was. Billy had always known, or so he said. It was something he'd had to embrace because it wasn't something he could hide very well. And Katie had suspected for a long time. She'd never been boy-crazy, never cared about clothes or movie stars or anything that other girls cared about. She'd gone out on a limb and asked her mother about it once, why she didn't like the things that other girls liked. Her mom had just said it was because she went to such a strict school. But by the time she'd turned thirteen Katie knew she was a lesbian and that she was in love with Summer Hathaway and that nothing would ever change that.

It was probably the hardest thing she'd ever gone through, being in love with someone she could never have. She didn't struggle as much as Freddy had, but neither was she okay with it like Billy was. She hurt every day and had done so for the past four years. For a while she'd have violent mood swings, going from elated to sullen to angry all because life was unfair and she hated being in love and she hated herself but it was so good when Summer would hug her or smile or laugh with her . . . and then Billy sat her down and they had 'The Talk'. The, 'We're gay and so we can't show any weakness because the rest of the world will feed on it like vultures feed on dead carcasses' talk.

It was the reason Katie didn't let anyone else see her depressed. It was the reason she swallowed her anger and hurt like a jagged pill and fought hard to be the Out and Proud lesbian that complimented the Out and Proud fags perfectly. It was the same talk that saved Freddy from self-destruction. It was the same talk that Billy used to fortify himself every day. It was the talk that no one else would understand because how could they? This was not their lot in life.

For the most part, it was easy for her. She had Billy and Freddy after all, two people who understood her in a way that no one else did. But it was hard sometimes too.

Like now. She had asked Summer to pose for her project, they'd set aside time that week to do it, and it was a sealed deal. She should have been elated, but she was miserable instead. The fantasy worlds that she created with Freddy were all in fun and the jokes didn't mean anything when, at the end of the day, Summer was only her best friend and would always only be her best friend.

"Life sucks," she muttered, spearing something vaguely reminiscent of a carrot in shape and color, with her spork. "Life sucks like a whore," she elaborated more vehemently. "And if life were a man, I'd cut off his dick and make him eat it."

Freddy let out a low whistle.

"Wow. Graphic. What's up? You're not your usual cheery self."

She glared at the mushy, orangish blob on the end of her spork.

"Of course I'm not. I've only been in love with the same unattainable person for four years. I'm only painting said unattainable person for my art assignment which means I will only be staring at said unattainable person's face every day for the next two weeks. I'm so sick and tired of this . . . you try being cheery under those circumstances."

She was purposefully not looking at her friend, but after a moment he tilted her face up to his and she found herself blinking tears away so that she could focus on his blue eyes. He was frowning slightly and finally he stood and pulled her up.

"Come on," he said softly, draping and arm around her shoulders and ushering her out of the school's cafeteria. "You," he said as they walked. "Are just damn lucky you had your breakdown while everyone else was out enjoying their off-campus lunch privileges."

She wanted to retort that if he hadn't been back late every day the previous week he'd be out enjoying said off-campus lunch privileges, but when she opened her mouth all that came out was a hoarse squeak. She sniffled after a moment.

"I'm sorry."

Freddy shook his head and pulled her into a small sitting area outside of the library.

"Don't worry about it. I'm here, okay? So you can cry or threaten to castrate life or whatever."

She nodded and he wrapped his arms around her in a comforting hug. She looped her own around his waist and pressed her face into the crook of his neck.

"I hate this," she whispered, trying desperately not to cry. "I hate wanting her to love me back so bad it hurts."

He sighed.

"Maybe it wasn't a good idea to choose her as your subject," he said softly.

"I know," she agreed. "But I couldn't help it."

"Yeah, I guess that's the problem with us homosexuals," he said drily. "We just can't help it."

She snickered and relaxed a bit in his arms.

"I'm okay now, I think. At least, I'm not tweaking out anymore."

"Just so you know," he told her, leaning back to smirk at her. "You only have one breakdown left for this month. I say, choose it wisely."

She rolled her eyes. She knew it. She, Billy, and Freddy had decided that they were each allowed two emotional breakdowns a month. Other than that it was their job to be upbeat and as with it as possible. They'd each cashed in a couple of times, but only with each other. This was the first emotional episode she'd had in a few months though, and she pointed it out.

"Whatever," he said. "You can't save them up. If we let you do that you'd set aside, like, three weeks to do nothing but cry and mope and threaten people."

"I would not!" she shot back, laughing. "I'm more mature than you, Freddy. And Billy too, come to that."

He shook his head.

"We are very mature for our age, and especially for being young men our age. Technically, we should only have developed the equivalent of the emotional and mental capacity of neanderthals. But no, we are on par with actual human beings. You should give us props for that."

She looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Uh-huh."

"Exactly."

"Anyway," she said as they walked back into the cafeteria. "Have you asked Zack yet?"

"Asked me what?"

Freddy jumped and clutched at his heart.

"Fucking hell!" he breathed. "You scared the shit outta me, Zack!"

The dark-haired boy gave him a look that said clearly he wasn't sorry.

"Um, sorry about that," he said, and Freddy glared at him incredulously. "Anyway, ask me what?"

"To marry me," Freddy said with the air of having announced something obvious. "Katie has generously offered her womb out to house our future children, by the way. Want me to jerk you off into a cup or do want to do me?"

Katie smacked him upside the head.

"Freddy!" she said so loudly several heads turned. "You could ask me before renting out my body for reproductive purposes! God."

He just smirked and Zack, she could see, was trying hard not to laugh at her. She heaved a long-suffering sigh and grabbed Freddy by the arm, tugging him toward the table they'd abandoned earlier.

"Coming?" she asked Zack.

He looked like he was ready to follow them but a strident female voice cut through the air and Freddy rolled his eyes.

"You're being paged," he said, nodding to the girl who was running up to them. "Guess you'll just have to jerk me off later."

"I won't forget to pencil you in," Zack said.

"Do you know how gay that sounded?"

Their friend just raised his eyebrows in a 'no shit' sort of way and then he was being dragged off by The Leech. How that had happened, no one knew. Alice Leary was the leader of the school's vast-and-still-growing legion of label whores. They were all about the 'bling-bling', the biggest jewelry, the nicest shoes, purses, nail and hair jobs, and, of course, the most impressive labels. They dated for money usually, though a few of them had hooked up with various guys around the school to dispel rumors or to get back at someone. They were disgusting and Alice was the worst.

She'd started hanging around Zack earlier in the year and showed no signs of just disappearing and when she'd first become an ornament of sorts on the guitarist, Freddy, Katie, Summer and several other members of the band had raised eyebrows. Hell, the whole school had. Especially since Alice wasn't one of the poser label whores. She wasn't into Hot Topic or anything that wasn't distinctively prep in style. And Zack was definitely not prep in style.

Freddy was actually quite convinced that Zack wouldn't know style if it put on a g-string and did a pole dance right in front of him, but that was beside the point. It had been like this for the last three weeks and people were getting used to it. At least, they weren't always talking about Alice and Zack anymore. But Katie and Freddy were now stepping into the territory of more-than-a-little-annoyed and Summer was fucking pissed. She hated Alice. With a fiery passion that she only usually reserved for her grades. It was almost amusing.

"So . . . ask me what?"

It was fifth period and Zack was walking with Freddy to their next class.

"Hmm?" the blonde asked, not paying much attention. His eyes were, instead, on Katie and Summer who were laughing about something, leaning on each other and giggling madly.

He felt really bad about the whole situation. Unrequited love wasn't something he'd had much patience for ever. He didn't bother falling for straight guys and when he did, which was rare, he did his best to get over it as soon as possible. It was a waste of energy and it was painful. Seeing Katie suffer through it for the better part of four years had only convinced him that his method was the best.

"Earlier Katie said you had to ask me something."

Freddy pretended to try and remember and, in the process, was reminded of something else.

"Oh shit. Did we have homework?" he asked.

Zack sighed and nodded.

"Yep."

"Great. What was it? Can I see yours?"

"It was an analysis of the story we read last night. White Elephant."

Freddy thought back and then grinned.

"Oh, I remember! The one about the chick and the dude and the abortion, right?"

Zack nodded again and smirked.

"You do know that now Connally's gonna ask you to read yours to the class. She always does that when you don't have your homework."

"And," Freddy said. "I always know my shit. I just don't have it written down to turn in."

Zack rolled his eyes and they walked into class and settled into their desks, one beside the other.

"So, was that what you wanted to ask me?"

"Um . . . no."

The dark-haired boy looked at him expectantly. Freddy fiddled with his pencil and tapped his foot and then decided that just blurting it out would be his best bet. So he opened his mouth and was about to say, "Zack, would you please let me use you as the subject for my art project?" but what came out was, "Zack, would you pose naked for me?" and there was a moment of Freddy staring at Zack completely serious and Zack staring back before he started laughing.

"This is about that art project right? Summer was telling me that Katie asked her the same thing. Well . . . not the same thing."

Freddy nodded and smirked.

"Yes well, among us queers, Katie's definitely the one with the tight moral code."

"I figured."

Freddy cocked his head to the side and raised an eyebrow.

"So? Will you do it?"

Unfortunately, it looked like Freddy would have to wait a bit for reply because the bell rang at that moment and Aurora Connally stood up and barked for them to be quiet. She took attendance like she usually did, barely glancing up from her slip, just yelling names and waiting two seconds for a reply of 'here' or 'present' or the occasional 'uh . . . what?'. And then class started and Freddy knew this would be a bad day. She was glaring daggers at them and then it started.

"Freddy, what did you think of the story?"

He shrugged and leaned back, still tapping his foot.

"I thought the guy in it was disgusting," he replied.

"Any particular reason why?" she asked, giving him an assessing look.

"Because he's sitting there, telling this girl to get an abortion, that it'll be quick and easy and painless. Like he even knows."

"Well, it's obvious that they aren't ready to be parents. It's probably better if she gets the abortion anyway. He's just looking out for what's better for her," Sam Huebner, resident jock and enemy of Freddy's since freshman year, cut in.

"That's just stupid," Alicia cut in from where she sat, across the room.

Marta nodded.

"Hands please!" Connally yelled.

Alicia put hers up without looking at their teacher and glared, instead, at Sam.

"It's none of his business. If she wants to keep it, she can. And if she wants an abortion she can do that too, but he can't sit there telling her it's not gonna hurt and that it'll be quick just because it's what he wants."

"But it's his baby too," Tracy Lourdes cut in, Sam and a few others nodding. "She can't just make the decision by herself. She should listen to what he wants."

"Yeah, it's his baby too," Zack said quietly, but with enough force to make everyone shut up and listen. "When he wants to kill it. But if he wanted to keep the baby everyone in this room would be saying he needs to back off and let her make the choice. That he has no right to his own opinion."

"Zack! That's enough! I told you to raise your hand."

Zack glared at her but Freddy noticed no one was arguing with him.

"I," Connally continued. "Do not want to make this into a pro-choice vs. pro-life issue."

Freddy snorted. Connally got off on getting her students hot and bothered and angry and then telling them to knock it off, shut up, and turn in their homework. Today was no different, but everyone was a little more bothered that usual. This story had hit on serious issues that weren't to be discussed in school. That, if a lot of people had their druthers, wouldn't be discussed period.

Freddy knew that Zack was very much pro-life and that Alicia and Marta were violently pro-choice, along with many in their class. Freddy, himself, was a little bit of both, just like Billy and Katie. The four of them were against abortion but freedom of choice was a huge deal. After all, there were hundreds of thousands of people lining up to take away Freddy's own freedoms to live as he wanted with who he wanted. He hated seeing someone's freedom to choose taken away from them by someone who thought they knew better or who just felt like they had that right.

He spent the rest of the class agitated and fidgety and by the time the bell rang he was ready to get as far away from everyone in the room as possible. Except for Zack. He still had to talk to Zack.

"Rough class, huh?" Freddy commented as they left the room.

Zack nodded slowly and then grinned.

"I'll do it," he said without preamble and Freddy raised an eyebrow.

"You sure? Even if you need to pose naked?"

The dark-haired boy laughed.

"Yeah. It's not every day, after all, that someone says they like my face enough to stare at it for hours on end."

Freddy just grinned.

"Well, I say, enjoy it while it lasts. After this I'll probably be tired of looking at you."

They both snickered and went their separate ways down the hall. Katie caught up to Freddy a few feet away from their art class.

"So?" he asked. "How goes it?"

"Better," she replied. "And you?"

He smiled.

"Great."