Imitation of Life
By: Lady DeathAngel
Disclaimer: Not mine, not profiting, 'nuff said.
Warnings: more drug use.
A/N: So, it's been a while. There is a bit of plot development in this story, ambiguity, profanity, drug use . . . all the stuff I'm coming to expect in my own life. Sans drug use, I guess. Hookahs and rose flavored tabacco are cool though. Okay, sorry for my randomness. I just got out of highschool forever and so I'm still high off of that. I apologize for taking so long to get this chapter out. I have been writer's block's bitch and it's not a fun place to be, let me tell you. I do, however, know where I'm going with this so hang in there, please! And thanks for doing so for so long now. This is self-beta'ed as usual, but if anyone's interested in beta reading for me, I would really appreciate it. I'm a bit jaded about it, as none of my betas have worked out well in the past, but if you think you'd like to do it and you can handle it, please let me know! So, I've rambled long enough. Please, as always, read, enjoy, and review!
Katie was so busy sketching that she almost forgot what a randomly shitty mood Freddy was in. Almost, but not quite. Because there were only so many textures one could add to a tree before it became hard to keep on pretending that one of one's best friends was exuding a cloying aura of negativity.
"I really wish he'd stop looking at me like that," Freddy finally burst out, loudly enough so that several people glanced over at them.
Katie looked up with a confused frown. She must have missed something . . .
"You wish who would stop looking at you like what?"
"I wish Zack would stop looking at me like he wants me to fuck his brains out."
Somewhere, several tables over, someone was chocking on a pea or a carrot or whatever the hell and their friends were laughing. Farther away in the lunch room, Summer and Zack were being forced to sit at the preppy table with their dance dates. Katie, who had been carefully not staring at them, wondered if she'd heard Freddy wrong. Because, while she may not have been looking over at the table, what he was proposing was ridiculous.
"You wish who would stop looking at you like what?"
"I wish Zack would stop looking at me like he wants me to fuck his brains out," Freddy growled. "He just won't stop! Every time I see him he gets this look in his eyes . . ."
"Whoa! Pause, rewind, and stop for a minute . . . are you high? Zack?"
Freddy shot her an exasperated looked and raked his hand through his spiky blonde hair.
"I'm not shitting you," he said. "And it's pissing me off because . . . God, I spent enough time getting over that but no gay male can resist that look. It's insane."
"He can't realize he's doing it," Katie reasoned. "I mean, gay or straight, Zack wouldn't know how to seduce anyone, let alone use the 'look'." She rolled her eyes. "You're just panicking. Eat the shit on your tray and relax, okay?"
But there was no relaxing Freddy. Instead, he went off. Not overly loud, but loud enough to make Katie realize this was serious.
"If it were Summer, would you be able to relax? I mean, in the halls, in class, every five fucking seconds he's glancing at me and it's fucking hot but he's straight and he's Zack . . ."
"Wouldn't have stopped you two years ago," Katie muttered under her breath.
Freddy stood up abruptly.
"You know what, Katie? Fuck you. Just . . . fuck you."
Katie watched with a frown as he stalked away and then glanced over at Zack and Summer. Summer was poking idly at her food and Alice was running a hand through Zack's hair and whispering. But the brunette's eyes were following Freddy as he made his way out of the lunchroom and by the look on his face, he wished he could follow.
It was a slow day as far as rehearsals went. Mostly it consisted of Zack strumming on his guitar while everyone else gossiped. Freddy and Katie were conspicuously AWOL and Lawrence was attacking his homework with the sort of fervor usually reserved for more pleasant pastimes. Alicia, Marta, and Tomika were talking boys and playing Barbershop, as per usual, and Summer was with Dewey in the kitchen discussing God only knew what. After almost an hour of doing absolutely nothing, Summer sprinted into their midst with a wide grin.
"They want us to tour this summer!" she yelled.
Zack looked up at her with wide eyes.
"No shit?"
"No shit!" she said happily. "They want to book us for the Myxed tour. A friend of Dewey's called last week and said we'd be perfect to round it out. They've already got the rappers, the metal and screamo bands . . . and us, if we wanna do it."
"This is . . ."
"Ridiculous," Alicia said.
Zack frowned.
"Actually, I was gonna say kickass, but whatever," he said, glancing at her.
The girl rolled her eyes.
"Come on, we're getting ready to graduate," she told them.
"In a year," Zack pointed out.
"I thought that after the prom gig, we were done," she insisted, glaring at him. "You know? Growing up. Graduating. Going to college. Doing what we really want to do."
"This is what I want to do," Summer and Zack said at the same time.
"You guys do have talents besides managing a band and being the lead guitarist of one," Marta pointed out. "You can't possibly not want to explore those possibilities."
"Look, let's not fight about it," Tomika said. "We agreed to stick together long enough to play for junior prom and finish the last single on our album."
"An album we've been working on for the last three years," Alicia groused.
"After that," Tomika continued. "We didn't make any promises. And it's really not fair to assume that all of us have the same goals as you two. Even Lawrence didn't plan on being in the band forever."
Zack didn't know what to say. It was true. Going into highschool they'd decided to do one more album before splitting up. An album that they would finish before their senior year because by that time, they'd have grown out of the music thing. Back then, things had still be odd. People were moving away, Ned was getting married, not to mention the fact that their parents had pretty much pounded it into their heads that the band was Just A Faze. Zack had thought he'd be fine ending it in time for college and life. So had Summer. But he couldn't help it if this was what he loved, and Summer couldn't help it if this was what she was good at and what she wanted to do. A heavy silence filled the loft after that, one that both Dewey and Freddy stepped into, completely oblivious.
"I ordered pizza!" Dewey yelled just as Freddy burst into the loft with a cry of, "Just fucking leave it!"
Everyone looked up with frowns and stared as Freddy threw his bag and coat on the floor and settled behind his drum. Katie walked through the door seconds behind him and watched, dispassionately, as he twirled his sticks in jerky, agitated movements.
"Well, are playing or what?" he finally demanded.
"Stop being such a drama queen," Katie hissed.
She threw her own coat and bag down and resumed staring Freddy down. Her face was shuttered and expressionless, but if looks could kill Freddy definitely wouldn't have been able to snort the way he did.
"I'm not being a queen about this," he said slowly. "I told you to leave it alone and you and your theories . . ."
"I just want you to be happy, you fucking idiot!"
"Yeah, well, it won't work, okay? Haven't we been down this road before?"
"Yeah," Katie said, arms crossed. "Before. It could be different now."
Freddy rolled his eyes.
"Could be . . . that's not good enough. So drop it and pick up your damn bass."
Zack watched as she did so and then glanced at Freddy. The blonde was staring down at his drums, looking for all the world like he was somewhere else entirely. He wondered what was wrong and why the hell it had two of the best friends you could imagine at each other's throats, but then Alicia opened her big mouth and the temperature in the room dropped even further.
"So, I guess now wouldn't be the best time to discuss when the band's ending."
Katie lifted an eyebrow.
"It really wouldn't," she said.
Alicia shrugged.
"Well that's too damn bad, because I'm not leaving this loft until we all know where we stand."
"We got asked to tour this summer," Summer supplied softly at the confused look on Katie's face.
Freddy looked up with a frown.
"What?"
"Don't act like you didn't hear it," Katie said with a glare.
"Look, whatever the hell's going on between you two, leave us out of it," Tomika said. "This about the band, right now."
"No," Alicia corrected, leaning back against the couch. "It's about what we agreed to do and what's best for us. After we play prom, it's over. End of story."
"What!" Freddy yelled. "Are you kidding? Are you even listening? They want us to tour this summer. This is huge! Dewey, man, come on! Tell them how huge this is."
But Dewey wasn't getting involved.
"Look, the girls have got a point," he said. "You all agreed to end the band before your senior year. Now, I'll let you all discuss this and write the check for pizza." He walked away, muttering about teenagers and their hormones and all-around idiocy.
"Now, are we gonna rehearse or not?" Marta asked, as if they'd settled everything. As if they'd settled anything.
Katie played an angry chord on her guitar.
"Not that it matters," she grumbled.
Freddy banged on his drums in agreement and the two shared a look.
There was a heavy silence in the air as everyone took their places.
"We really need to work on 'Velvet'," Zack said, eyes trained on his guitar. "The chorus is always a pitch to high."
Katie brought them in on Zack's count and as he started 'crooning', as Freddy called it, he watched Summer settle herself on the floor, head hanging, hair curtaining her face from view. There was a break between the chorus and the second verse and as the sound of the girls singing the last note off-pitch hung in his ears, he glanced over at Freddy. The other boy was staring at him and he took a moment to not think about the dreams he'd been having. Once the moment was done he mouthed, 'My house tonight'. Freddy nodded and, while Zack resumed singing, relayed the message to Katie.
Zack's house always made Freddy shudder. It always had. It was so . . . clean. And white, too. And modern. There was no charm to it, no warmth. It screamed money and prestige and the result of two business majors with salaries too high to do anything but decorate their house like it was something out of a very boring magazine. Lifestyles of the Fucking Rich and Dysfunctional. Actually, Freddy might just read something like that. It sounded like a laugh.
At least, Freddy thought as he, Summer, Zack, and Katie walked into the brunette's room, this place felt like home. Sure it was sparsely decorated and monochromatic, but it was Zack. Zack wasn't very colorful anyway, all black or white t-shirts and blue jeans and if you'd asked Freddy to decorate his room, he'd have done it this way. Give a poster or two, of course.
They all settled in, Freddy on the bed, Katie and Summer sprawled on the floor beneath it. The three watched as Zack grabbed his stash from the shoe box in his closet, the one with all the baby pictures, headlines, and other random sentimental shit he'd collected over the years. Ten minutes later they were passing a joint around the room in silence.
"We have school tomorrow," Summer pointed out.
"Fuck," Freddy hissed, watching as thick smoke curled past his lips and hung in the air above him. "Fuck," he said again, louder. "What is fucking wrong with them? It's the chance of a lifetime! People would kill to do what we're being asked to do."
They'd all been avoiding that topic but Freddy was tired of beating around the bush. His entire world was falling apart right before his eyes and he didn't even have a tube of glue in hand to try and fix it with. He wanted to scream and rip things apart. He wanted to hurt something or somebody. He wanted to drum until his sticks broke and wood splintered and his hands were a bloody mess and his legs ached and he couldn't hear anymore.
He wanted everything to be the way it had been two days ago.
"So . . . we'll do it without them," Summer muttered.
"What?" Zack said. He sat up and crawled across the foot of the bed to stare at the girl.
She looked blearily up at him.
"We'll do it without them," she said. "We can. We don't need keyboards and backup vocalists. It'll be a tough sell, but I'm not done yet."
"Yeah . . . neither am I," Zack murmured, falling backward and into Freddy's lap as Katie muttered a 'me three'. "You?"
Freddy swallowed hard and held out a hand to Katie because he needed another hit, bad.
"No. I'm not done yet."