Yes, I'm back... after two years. Meh. A lot has changed, that's all I can say... But I intend to finish this, anyway.
Disclaimer: Don't own any of this, besides the "ah what the hell, let's switch 'em" idea.
Chapter three
It's now about an hour after the incident in the sewers, and I've finally squirmed free from Cloud-the-clingy. I'm holed up in a niche, just now, waiting for him to go away.
"Come on, Seph, come out already."
...In case you hadn't noticed, he's still here. I'm not moving, so I just glare out of my niche at him, willing my eyes to glow a little more viciously.
"After what you did? No." Cloud heaves a long sigh.
"Aw, come on, I was groggy! You startled me." I glare back at him, willing him to take the hint and just LEAVE.
"YOU were hugging ME... and when I finally pried you off, you kicked me in the gut and tried to stab me. Leave me the fuck alone." He ignores me, of course, and offers me a hand.
"It was an accident!" How fucking dense can you be? I narrow my eyes at him, and he shrinks back timidly, hurriedly pulling his hand back - I think he thinks I'm going to bite it off. Heh.
"Please, just come with us long enough to get to the train station? Then you can take a train back home, and this'll be all over. You'll never see me again." I internally winced at the memory of the train station, then cocked my head slightly, considering.
"Tempting. Very tempting."
Cloud winced at the comment.
"I deserved that..."
"Yes. You did. Ass." Since the spikehead is apparenly not going to let me be, I crawl out of my hole, ignoring the hand he offers to help me up. "Fine, I'm out, happy now?" "Yep." He smirks. Fucker. I'll show him.
So, what did I do, you ask? I stuck my tongue out at him. Sue me, I'm not exactly in an imaginative mood. I'm tired, I'm cranky, I'm hungry, and I was nearly impaled on that Big Fucking Sword (tm) of his, so I think I deserve at least a little leeway.
"Let's just go." What? WHO DARES BE SANE! ...Oh, the talking knockers. Yes, I mean Tifa. Yes, that was in bad taste. No, I don't care. Buzz off.
"Fine. But if Cloud opens that big mouth of his ONE MORE TIME, I'm cutting his balls off and feeding them to him."
He didn't say a word for the rest of the walk.
One long, but, thankfully uneventful, walk through the ghost-infested train graveyard later, and...
"We're here. Thank the Planet for small favors."
I WAS going to get a train home, but the bunghole conductor waved the train away JUST as I was running for it, and wouldn't you know it, it was the last one of the night. So. Tifa offered to let me stay at her bar slash inn until tomorrow, and I accepted, figuring one night more around spikey couldn't hurt TOO much.
I should have known that all hell would break loose.
See, we were walking to the said bar slash inn, when this fat guy fell out of nowhere and nearly squashed me. At this point Tifa went nuts; apparently this was a friend of hers.
After watching her flip out, and zoning out somewhere betwen her squeals of "Oh no!" and "we have to help Barret!", I found myself being dragged into the entire mess.
That's about all that's happened up to this point, really. Currently, we are standing at the foot of this huge... tower... thing. Actually, it's more of a scaffolding, wrapped around the pillar that holds up the section of the plate over Sector Seven. And things around here ain't exactly peaceful - we've got people shooting and getting shot, and apparently these people are pretty good friends of Cloud and booby-woman.
Okay, focus, Seph. If Zack was correct, the TURKs are going after Cloud and Mr. T up there... because they blew up a reactor... or was that two? Eh. I wish Zack was a little more coherent... this is what I get for using dead guys to gather information. Bah.
Planet, I hate stairs. Note to self: Kill Cloud for dragging me to this planetforsaken place, with it's planetforsaken stairs and it's planetforsaken monsters and it's planetforsaken Shin-Ra troops and planetforsaken Tifa, who is enough to give ANY guy a nosebleed- thank the planet she went off to take a little girl to safety, any more of her and I think I'd explode... damn Cloud for dragging me into this... and I'm damned if I EVER climb another stair in my life when I'm done with this.
'-but you dragged yourself here'
Shut the fuck up, Zack, and get out of my head.
'-make me'
Shut up.
'-no'
Yes.
'-no'
YES.
"Um... Seph? Why are you talking to yourself"
Oops. I must have said that last bit aloud.
"Erm... Just telling myself to keep moving- don't wanna get shot!" I fake a grin and continue climbing, muttering death threats under my breath. I wonder if it's even possible to kill a dead man?
It takes awhile, but eventually, I haul my carcass up the last flight of steps. Unfortunately for all concerned, I get a nightstick to the back of my head as soon as I reach the top. I hear him whisper, "Sorry..." and then...
Hmm... so stars really DO appear in front of your eyes when you get knocked out.
Next thing I know, I'm sitting in a little glass tube, staring out at a bunch of lab technicians. Stuck up little greasy fuckers.
Wait, lab technicians? Little glass tube? How the FUCK did I get back here? Am I dreaming?
Think, Sephy, think... oh, yeah. Reno bonked me over the head with the business end of his nightstick. Guess that explains the headache. Ow.
Looking around, I think I can safely assume he turned me over to Hojo.
All I can say now is: Well, fuck.
Okay, push the headache aside, Seph. What can you do to get out of here?
I let my eyes wander across the lab, drifting across beakers, test tubes, several needles, a handful of other specimens... oh great, I'm beginning to think of myself as a specimen already... a table with something sparkly on it... sparkly... wait, sparkly? Out of my way, you white-coated little... Hey! It's my dagger! And my armlets! I hope my materia's still in them... anyway, YES! I won't be defenseless when I get out of here!
Well, if I ever DO get out of here, anyway.
Okay, enough with the elation. Why is the floor moving? I'd better get away from that hole, it looks pretty omi-
HOLY FUCKING SHIT ON A BURNING CANDLE! It's a fucking LION with it's fucking TAIL on fucking FIRE! How the FUCK am I supposed to fight a fucking LION! They didn't give me back my dagger!
And then that stupid fucking intercom comes on, bringing Hojo's whiny, grating, IRRITATING (Heh, I rhymed, I'm a poet and didn't know it) voice to my captive ears. Oh, joy.
"You're not supposed to fight it, dear boy. You're supposed to mate with it."
How does he always know what I'm thinking?
...wait a second... I'm supposed to WHAT! I turn around and begin pounding on the glass, screaming angrily.
"HOJO YOU SICK FUCK!"
Hm. Looks like the critter agrees with me. Wait... is it just me or is the fire kitty talking?
"I don't like two legged things... and what's more, we're both males, you disgusting pervert."
Woah. Talking kitty. Weird. Or maybe it's just the welt on my poor head talking. Might as well defend my honor, either way. "If you really DID just talk, kitty... I really hope you were referring to Hojo."
The cat blinks and sits down, scratching it's left ear with it's left forepaw, amber eyes calm.
"Yes, I did, unless you had some intention of following his instructions..."
Ew. Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew. Planet, the mental images... ew.
"...restraining...urge... to vomit"
The crimson feline quirks an eyebrow.
"In which case, I was indeed speaking to Hojo."
I heave a long sigh and sit down across from the kitty, back against the glass.
"Good."
And then Hojo-the-fucker begins his whining again.
"What are you DOING? You're both endangered species! I'm TRYING to keep you from dying out!"
For a scientist, he's exraordinarily dense.
"YOU STUPID BASTARD! WE'RE BOTH MALES! A PAIR OF MALES CANNOT PRODUCE OFFSPRING!" I bellow, my face going red.
The kitty adds, "One would think he was a furry, and would like to... how do you humans say this? Get his rocks off?"
I can't help it. I blink at Hojo's dopey expression for a moment... then burst out laughing. He promptly goes red, and begins fumbling with a switch, when... what's that?
The elevator behind Hojo comes to a silent stop, opens, and... holy fuck... it can't be. It fucking cannot be. I'm staring and probably putting him at a horrible disadvantage, but...
It's Cloud.
He came after me! He fucking FOLLOWED ME into the fucking SHIN-RA BUILDING! Talk about insane.
'-insane loyalty you mean'
Shut UP, Zack! How can he be loyal to me if we've never met before?
'-told him about you'
So?
'-so he knows you're my best friend and wants to protect you'
...Oh, shut up.
Tifa kicks ass. I have to admit it, her giant knockers aren't her only good feature. Nope, she's also fucking BRILLIANT at dishing out hurt. Thanks to her Beat Rush, Hojo's passed out against the wall, and now Mr. T over there is... shooting the door out with a gun attached to his arm. Ri-ght... anyway, we're free! Now all we have to do is... why is the floor moving again?
HOLY SHIT! I backpedal frantically away from the hole in the floor as the thing emerging from it hisses, lashing out with one tentacle. Behind me, I can vaguely hear Cloud yelling orders.
"Tifa! Get him outta here!"
...What the fuck? Why is he protecting me?
"OW! FUCK! TIFA! LET GO OF MY EAR!"
Of course, she ignores me and drags me down the hall at high speed, backward, by my poor throbbing ear. She didn't give me time to grab my dagger, either.
We end up standing in a cargo elevator, gasping for breath.
"Th-tha-that..." Wow. I'm out of shape compared to her- I'm completely winded. And bending over... and staring... right... at... her... "HOLY FUCK Tifa don't kill me I was just out of breath!"
And that was how Cloud found us- me cowering like a terrified little girl against the wall, and Tifa threatening to rip my balls off and feed them to me. And, though only I could hear him, Zack was also laughing his fucking ghostly ass off at my fear of "the girl with the giant jugs", as he had so aptly dubbed her.
Anyway, we piled into the elevator, and Cloud hit the button for the first floor. Unfortunately, the elevator was doomed to go down without us, as no sooner were we IN it, than we were forced OUT of it by the Turks, who had apparently been following Cloud and his little band of misfits the entire time. Truthfully, it was pretty pathetic.
After a long, boring conversation with the president, we're now rotting for an indefinite period of time in the cells in the Shin-Ra building's detention area. I know we're all here, because I can hear Cloud and Tifa in the next room over fairly clearly, and I can even vaguely make out Barret - that's Mr. T's actual name - and the big fire kitty who we're currently calling Red talking, on the other side of Cloud and Tifa's cell.
At least they gave me back my dagger, so I have something to play with. Wonder why they left us armed?
"...Seph?"
I pause in the middle of a flip of my dagger.
"Yes, Cloud?"
I hear the wooden clunk of a chair being pulled up against a wall.
"...Why is Shin-Ra after you?" Cloud grunts softly, paying more attention to settling the chair than he is to me.
I sigh, and sheathe my weapon.
"I'm a Cetra."
"You're a what?" I hear Cloud climbing on the chair, then a light rap on the wall above my head. I peer up, and catch a glimmer of bright blue eyes through a grating. He indicates the lone chair in my room, and I take the hint, drag it over, and climb on it, so we're talking face to face.
"Now, what did you say you were?"
"A cet- an Ancient."
Even through the grating, I can see that Cloud's eyes have widened considerably. "You're a WHAT!" He hisses softly, and I sigh.
"An ancient. The first cloned one, in fact."
Cloud nearly falls off his chair. "You're a CLONE!" I sigh and rub my eyes, suddenly exhausted. "Technically, in the sense that my genes were altered to be as near as possible to those of the only Ancient who still walked the planet at the time of my conception, without altering my gender." I pause, and regard the spike-head with some amusement. "There isn't another Sephiroth running around and causing havoc, if that's what worries you."
I can tell, from the enormous sigh that he heaves, that the thought of another one of me was precisely what was worrying him. I can't help it, I grin like a maniac. "Get some rest, Cloud." I hop down from the chair, frown, and add, "I have a feeling you'll need it."
I lie down on my cot, and am almost immediately asleep.
I am wakened from a long nap by the hiss of my cell door opening. At first, I think I'm young again, in the cell with Ifalna, but then the events of the past day or so come back to mind and I snap awake.
And see a face from my past.
It's Aeris. The beautiful, sweet, happy girl I knew has matured into a beautiful, if somewhat bitter, woman, and I can't help but stare just a little, trying to make sure it's really her.
"A-Aeris? Is that you?" I whisper, trying not to show my joy.
And then she smiles, and I'm struck by how very WRONG it looks. She takes a step forward, and I scramble away from her, horrified. "Who are you?"
She looks at me, and tries a hurt expression, but she knows I know, and quickly drops her pretenses.
"Foolish child." She hisses softly. "I am Jenova."
I can't help a gasp. The Calamity from the Skies has been resurrected in the body of one of those beings who most hated her.
As if she is reading my mind, she smirks. "Yes, child. And I have brought my new body to fetch the remains of my old one. It will be quite useful to me..."
She whips out her sword, and advances upon me. "Perhaps I should..." And then she pauses, smirks, and says. "No. I'll save that for later."
She hits me in the head with the hilt of her sword, and I'm knocked out. For the second time in one day. Dammit.
Yes, I know, for the first chapter in nearly a year, it's short.
Oh, yes, and... FORESHADOWING! Bum bum buuuum!"