10: The Oompa-Loompas and Yoriko

"Oompa-Loompas!" everyone cried at once. "Oompa-Loompas!"

"Imported direct from the Loompagakure, or the Hidden Village of Loompa if you like." Wonka-san said proudly.

"That's preposterous! There's no such place, not in any country!" Bulnose-san said.

"Excuse me, my dear lady, but…"

"Wonka-san," cried Bulnose-san. "My husband is a Chuunin teacher in an academy, I assure you that…"

"Then you'll know all about it and what a terrible little place it is," said Wonka-san. "It was absolutely horrible! Completely infested with the most dangerous beasts in the entire world! Full of giant snakes and giant toads and giant slugs! The giant slugs are by far the worst. A giant slug would eat ten Oompa-Loompas for breakfast and come sludging and sliding back for a second helping. When I went there, I found the little Oompa-Loompas living in tree houses to escape from the Giant snakes, toads and slugs. And they were practically starving to death! They were living off of green caterpillars, probably the most revolting and disgusting food in the world. They would mash up other things with the caterpillars to make them taste better, but all of the reachable ingredients were just as repellant. Poor Little Oompa-Loompas! The one food they longed for more than any other was the cacao bean. But they couldn't get it. An Oompa-Loompa was lucky if he or she found three or four cacao beans a year. But oh, how they craved them. They were mental for those cacao beans.

"The cacao bean," continued Wonka-san, "is the thing from which chocolate is made of. I myself use millions of cacao beans every week here in my factory. So when I discovered that this was the food they craved, I climbed up to the Oompa-Loompa chieftess's tree house. The poor little thing, looking thin and starved, was sitting there trying to eat a bowl full of the revolting caterpillars without being sick. Such a dreadful sight. 'Look here' I said (speaking not in Japanese, of course, but in their native language), 'look here, if you and all of your people will come back to the Fire country and live in my factory, you can have all the cacao beans you want! I've got mountains of them in my storehouses! You can eat as much as you want! I'll even pay your wages in cacao beans if you'd like!'

" 'You really mean it?' asked the chieftess, leaping up from her chair.

" 'Of course I mean it! You can all work in my chocolate factory and have all the cacao beans you could ever wish for!'

"The little woman gave a great whoop of joy and shook my finger. 'It's a deal!' she cried, 'Let's go!'

"So I shipped all of them over here, every man, woman, and child in the hidden Oompa-Loompa village. They are wonderful workers! I trained them myself. You see, ordinary workers produce ordinary chocolate, so I decided to hone their skills in Ninjutsu in order for them to work even more diligently and efficiently. See, look over there!" he pointed across the river. One of the Oompa-Loompas clapped his hands together in the seal of the tiger and blew an enormous breath of fire to heat a large cooking pot another was stirring.

"T-That's Katon: Goukyaku no jutsu!" Naruto shouted, looking amazed.

"That's right!" Wonka-san said, smiling, "Y'know, for being blonde, you're actually kinda smart little boy!"

Souya Ikari stepped up looked Wonka-san straight in the eyes. "That would mean that you're a ninja as well, wouldn't it?" he said quickly.

"No," Wonka-san said with a chuckle, "of course not, what on earth would give you that idea?"

"But you just said that you taught and trained them in ninjutsu…"

"I really wish you'd stop mumbling," Wonka-san said as he cleaned out one of his ears, "It's really starting to get irritating!"

"Oto-san!" shouted Masaru Kawasaki (The noble boy who got everything he wanted). "Oto-san, I want an Oompa-Loompa! I want you to get me an Oompa-Loompa right now!"

"Now, now, son," his father said to him, "I'll get you one as soon as I possibly can."

"But I want an Oompa-Loompa NOW!" screamed Masaru.

"Y-Yoriko-chan!" shouted Glupu-san. "Yoriko-chan, sweetheart, that is not a good thing you do!" Yoriko Glupu, as you might have guessed, had quietly sneaked down to the edge of the river, and was now kneeling on the river bank, scooping hot melted chocolate into her mouth as fast as she could.

When Wonka-san turned around and saw what Yoriko was doing, he cried out, "Oh, um…little girl! Stop doing that! My chocolate must remain untouched by human hands!" He began to chase after the girl.

"Yoriko-chan!" called out Glupu-san, "Didn't you hear what the man said? Come away from that river at once!"

"This stuff is terrific!" said Yoriko, chocolate coating her mouth, not taking the slightest notice of her mother, "I'm gonna need a bucket to drink it properly!"

"Yoriko-chan!" cried Glupu-san.

"Little girl!" cried Wonka-san.

But Yoriko was deaf to everything except the call of her enormous stomach. She was now lying full length on the ground with her head far out over the river, trying to suck the chocolate right out of the river.

"Y-Y-Yoriko-san! Y-you're leaning out too far!" Hinata called out.

Hinata was absolutely right. Suddenly there was a shriek, and then a splash, and into the river Yoriko Glupu went, and in one second she had disappeared under the brown surface. "Save her!" cried the girl's mother, "She can't swim! She'll drown! Save her!"

But at that moment there was a terribly loud squelching sound coming from the other side of the river. Everyone turned to see what it was. Because the pipe was made of glass, the people could see everything in it, and Yoriko Glupu could be seen clearly inside the pipe, shooting up like a torpedo!

"Help! My precious little girl! Somebody save her!" Glupu-san screamed.

"It's a wonder to me," Bulnose-san said, "how that pipe is big enough for her to go through it."

"It isn't big enough!" Naruto cried, "See, she's slowing down!"

"She's gonna stick!" Masaru Kawasaki cried.

"I think she has!" his father added.

"It's her stomach that's done it," Souya Ikari said, "She's just so fat!"

The watchers below could see the chocolate swishing around the girl in the pipe, and they could see it building up behind him in a solid mass, pushing against the blockage of Yoriko's massive behind. The pressure was terrific. Something had to give. Something did give, and that something was Yoriko. WHOOF! Up she shot again like a kunai.

"She's disappeared!" yelled Glupu-san. "Where does that pipe go to!" Quick! Someone help her!"

"That pipe?" Wonka-san asked the woman, "Oh, that particular pipe leads directly to the room where I make the most delicious kind of strawberry flavoured chocolate-coated fudge!" he said with a smile.

"T-Then she'll be made into strawberry flavoured chocolate-coated fudge! They'll be selling her all over the country by the pound!" her mother screamed, horrified.

"No, no," Wonka-san said seriously, "No, I wouldn't allow it!"

"And why not!" shrieked Yoriko's mother.

"Because the taste would be terrible. Can you imagine Yoriko flavoured chocolate-coated Glupu?" he said with a disgusted look, "Eww!"

Wonka-san then turned to face another direction, then he made a bizarre noise with his tongue. Immediately, an Oompa Loompa appeared, as if from nowhere, and stood in front of him.

The Oompa Loompa gave a bit of a salute to the much taller man. He was wearing a dark navy body suit and a small kerchief-like mask over his face and a hood to cover his head, a forehead protector with the symbol of a small bean tied tight around his forehead. It was traditional shinobi attire. His eyes sparkled playfully, the top of his head came just above the height of Wonka-san's knee.

"Now listen to me," Wonka-san said, looking down at the tiny man, "I want you to take Glupu-san up to the fudge room, find her daughter, and when you get there, take a long stick and start poking (he made violent poking gestures with his arms) and jabbing around inside the mixing barrel. I'm sure you'll find him."

The Oompa-Loompa bowed and led the way for Yoriko's mother, who followed him as he exited the chocolate room. Wonka-san called to them as they left: "Good bye, Glupu-san! I'm sure we'll have no trouble finding your enormously overweight daughter in no time unless she's been turned into fudge! Goodbye!"

As Yoriko's mother passed out of view, a large number of Oompa-Loompas gathered from across the river. They began dancing and beating their chests. A few of them had musical instruments, which they began to play. "Yoriko Gloop!" the others chanted. "Yoriko Gloop! Yoriko Gloop!"

"N-Naruto-kun! What are they doing?" Hinata cried.

"I dunno," he shrugged, "I think they're gonna sing a song or something."

"Yoriko Gloop!" chanted the Oompa-Loompas.

"Yoriko Gloop! Yoriko Gloop!

The fat and greedy nincompoop!

'Come on!' we cried, 'the time is ripe

To send her shooting up the pipe!'

But don't, dear children, be alarmed;

Yoriko Glupu will not be harmed,

Although, of course, we must admit

She will be altered quite a bit.

Slowly, wheels go round and round,

The cogs begin to grind and pound;

A hundred knives go slice, slice, slice;

We add some sugar, cream, and spice.

This greedy brute, this louse's ear,

Is loved by people everywhere!

For who could bear to hold a grudge

Against a luscious bit of fudge?"

"Did I tell you they loved singing? I can't believe I forgot it! Well…I suppose you know now!" Wonka-san said as he applauded their song. "C'mon everybody! No time to dilly or dally! We've got so much more to see!" he began to walk off.

"A-are the Oompa-Loompas joking, Naruto-kun?" Hinata said worriedly, "They're joking…right?"

"O-of course they're joking, t-they couldn't be serious. I'm sure that girl will be fine" Naruto answered. Hinata walked ahead, quite relieved. Naruto, on the other hand, walked slowly, a disturbed look on his face.

"T-They're joking…of course they are…t-this place is crazy!" he said, catching up to the group.