Disclaimer: Same as last time… So, no. I can't own Remus or Siri. ::frowns::
Reviewer Thankees: Whoo! I love you guys. This is one of the fastest stories of mine to be reviewed. Up fer not even a day and seven reviews. (Can you tell I'm easily pleased?) Yeah. So basically, I just wanted to say, "Thankee, kind Sir and/or Madame!"
"Secrets of the Heart"By
Padfootwolfboy
Chapter Two: Strangers in the NightSirius—" Remus pronounced steadily into the silence of the room. "Sirius, can I t-t-talk to you?"
He watched his reflection in the glass of the window that looked over a small pond. His face had changed from deep rouge on his cheeks to ghost white all in the course of saying seven little words. He sighed, turning away from the large window, and pushed his fingers exasperatedly through his now clean hair.
It was now either very late at night, or very early in the morning, depending on the point of view. The clock next to Remus's bed, which was illuminated by a small, floating, mint green candle, read 4:28 precisely and kept clicking off the seconds with a constant tick of the second hand. He watched the thin wire move three times the perimeter of the round face before he pulled himself back into conscious thought.
The rest of the Potter house was asleep and had been now for at least the last hour and a half. Remus breathed out deeply and rubbed his eyelids, which were beginning to ache from being awake for so long. He would have gone to sleep with the others very gladly, except that his mind kept playing over the scene that had taken place just a few hours ago, right after Remus had returned back from his walk.
The five of them had been sitting in the large, comfy room that the Potters had nicely provided them to hang out in. James and Lily hogged one couch by the fire to themselves, chatting quietly and only momentarily breaking their whispering to each other with a laugh or giggle. Peter was across from them, passed out with a book lying haphazardly as his rising and falling chest. That left Sirius and Remus, who had adjourned out onto the second story balcony, in hopes of giving James and Lily some privacy.
At first they were simply talking about nothing, conversing in the way good friends do, without really getting any point across. But somewhere through their idleness of dialogue, Remus had grown strangely quiet. The warm night air, accompanied now by a soft, refreshing breeze, and the beautiful stars overhead made his "just-friends" act harder to maintain. Sirius seemed to sense something as wrong and asked in his clueless way.
He leaned over the railing, ebon tendrils falling lusciously into his round face. His deep gray eyes reflected the brightness of the stars. He propped his chin up with one hands and let the other one dangle over the banister. He elevated his eyebrows and stared at Remus curiously.
"What's wrong, Moony?" he asked gently, leaning towards Remus a bit.
Remus recoiled. "Nothing," he replied, gesturing with an away motion of his hand.
"You sure?" Sirius persisted, doubt filling his tone. "You've been acting strange that last few nights. Going on walks and all until very late. We missed you at dinner today." Remus looked at him, painfully aware that he said, "We missed you," not "I missed you." He turned his gaze back to the ground below. Sirius continued, turning his body around to lean his back against the railing. He moved closer next to Remus. "You can tell me if something's wrong, Remmie. I won't tell James. I mean if you're going to complain about his house elves cooking—I totally agree with you." The last comment received a light chuckle but nothing more. They remained in silence again until Remus spoke.
"I guess I've just needed time to think," he said truthfully, glancing up at Sirius's handsome face. "I've had a lot on my mind." He intertwined his fingers and moved his hands nervously. It felt weird to be so close to Sirius.
"I understand," Sirius responded, though he really didn't Remus knew. He went on to explain. "I was just beginning to worry about you, Moony. We all were." He placed what he thought was a comforting hand on Remus's shoulder, but the physical contact just made him tense.
Sirius sensed his muscles tightening. "Gee, Moony," he commented, rubbing his tense shoulder with one hand. "Your back sure is tight. No wonder you're stressed. How can you relax with muscles this tight?"
He slid his other hand across Remus's chest, pulling his around to face Sirius. He began to massage both shoulders. The rhythmic movements of Sirius strong hands against his sore muscles lulled his anxieties. He let Sirius's hands work around his shoulders and neck, soothing the strained muscles. His hands glided around, massaging all over Remus's shoulder region before moving down the back of his shirt collar to rub further down.
The action startled Remus at first, bringing him to make the realization that Sirius's hands were down his shirt. His next awareness was that he was standing exceedingly close to Sirius, their torso pressed together. It was kind of like receiving a strange hug. Sirius only then comprehended his position in regards to Remus. They both stared at each other unsure, lips parted.
As Sirius warm breath filtered onto his face, Remus suddenly experience the urge to kiss him. His full, flush lips were only inches away from him, and a slight lunge would create contact. He started to lean forward, and at first it seemed Sirius was receptive, nearly leaning forward himself, but quickly he pulled away. Remus felt the warm hands being ripped from his back, propelling him forward. Luckily he found his footing before his balance left him and he tumbled to the ground.
Sirius was staring at him, a look of pure mortification plastered across his colored face. Remus sensed the color draining from his, and knew he had made a mistake. Before he could even think up words to justify his actions, Sirius tore off through the room and into the hall. Peter stayed slumbering, and James and Lily only briefly poke their heads up from the couch to stare back at Remus. They gave him a curious look, but soon went back to their conversation. Remus soon retired to his own room for the night, after he was convinced Sirius wasn't coming back. He had stayed there ever since then, waiting for Peter to come back, but soon convincing himself that Peter, once sleeping, usually stayed there for the night. He would have the room to himself that night to pace and contemplate his feelings towards Sirius.
He brushed the memory from his mind and went back to planning the conversation he knew was inevitable with Sirius in the morning. "Sirius—" he started again, in the same way he always started. His voice was quiet, but at least it wasn't trembling as it had been before. "Sirius, I need to talk to you. It's important—"
"What, Remus?" came a soft voice from the doorway. Remus spun around, completely taken by surprise. There stood Sirius, leaning casually on the doorframe. His longish, black hair was still pulled back into a loose ponytail, leaving strands of hairs to frame his pretty face. He was shirtless, wearing only a loose set of dark blue pajama bottoms, which were adorned with small dancing elephants. Remus remembered that Lily had bought them for him as a joke on his last birthday. He concentrated again on Sirius's expression. A small grimace was poured snuggly on his lips and his eyes glowed in the dim light. Remus gaped at him, breathing heavily. "What was it you wanted to tell me?"
"Uh… nothing," Remus sighed out, pushing the pillows away from the foot of the bed so he could sit on it. Sirius watched him intently; causing Remus to become quite aware of his own lack of clothing, as he was only wearing a pair of plaid, draw string pajama pants and a tight, gray undershirt. He looked at Sirius, and when he couldn't stand his piercing gray eyes any longer, he turned his gaze to the floor. Sirius took that moment and walked across the room, nearer him. He stopped and leaned against the bureau, which was across the room from the bed.
"But you said you had something important to tell me," he continued.
Remus's eyes scanned the floor fretfully, as if words were written on it. "Uh… I was just talking to myself."
"You sure?" The hint of doubtfulness was back in Sirius's voice.
"Yeah. I'm sure," Remus answered breathlessly.
"Okay."
The subject was dropped abruptly, and neither boy spoke for the longest time. Sirius moved form his location by the bureau and began to wander around the room, looking at the different knickknacks and paintings. Remus watched him from the corner of his eyes. After Sirius had scanned the entire room nearly three times, and not another word had passed between them, Remus got the courage to speak up.
"Um, Sirius?" The black-haired boy looked up, placing down a little statue of a dragon. "What are you doing here?" Remus glanced at the clock to show him what he meant. "It's pretty late."
"Oh," he replied, shoving his hands into his pockets, causing his chest muscles to flex, which revealed his finely tones torso. "Pete's still snoozing on the couch and James and Lily are chatting in his room. He's showing her all his Quidditch memorabilia and trophies from competitions outside of school. She's fawning all over him." Sirius smiled slightly and chuckled. "It would be cute if it wasn't so obvious they liked each other and that they're totally to oblivious to it." He nodded and began to stroll leisurely around the room again.
"That still doesn't explain why you're here," Remus commented.
"Oh. Right. Well, I felt like I was intruding, so I was going to go find the kitchen and get a snack, but then I saw your light on and I thought maybe you wouldn't mind some company. Am I wrong?"
"No!" Remus cried forcefully, blushed, and then reiterated in a quieter tone, "No."
"That's good," Sirius whispered in reply. He was standing by the glass door that led to the balcony. The stars were beginning to fade as morning started to pour in. There was another patch of semi-uncomfortable silence between them before Sirius slid open the door and stepped outside. Remus felt the breeze blow against his expose skin. It was much cooler than it had been when he was out, and he reasoned to himself that he should join Sirius on the balcony, if for no other reason than to get some fresh air.
He padded across the carpet, and stepped out onto the hard floor. He slid the door close behind him. Sirius was leaning with his elbows propped up on the banister, like he was before earlier that night. He was staring out onto the hill, where Remus had been sitting only a few hours ago. It seemed like ages ago, though. He walked over and stood by Sirius, propping his own elbows onto the railing too. He supported his chin with one hand. The silence between them grew more tranquil. It was like a silent agreement had passed between them and they became close friends again. Finally someone spoke.
"What do you think about… out there?" Sirius gestured to the field beyond them, staring out into its great expanse.
Remus thought for a moment before answering. "Life…" he said, feeling calmer than he had a few minutes ago. "Love, I guess."
"Love?" his companion chortled, one eyebrow rising in novelty. He shot a look at Remus, who blushed at the amazed response. "You in love with someone, Remus?" he asked lightly, but seriously.
Remus sensed his cheeks and the tip of his nose flushing and he shrugged in reply when he could not find words at first. "I don't know… maybe."
"Maybe?" Sirius repeated. "Perhaps you're not in love then, if you don't know for sure. I always thought love was a sure thing."
"It is!" Remus explained. "It is. It's just that… Well, I always thought of love as a two-way street. You're not really in love if you're not loved back. I don't think the person that I care about loves me back." He turned his head down, partially from embarrassment and shame.
Sirius stayed quiet for an instant before crying, "How could they not love you, Moony!" Remus was startled by the loud declaration. He recoiled and gawked at Sirius, eyes wide. The other continued, in the same loud tone he had used before. "You're great, Remus! Anyone would be lucky to have you! You're smart, and kind, and caring, and handsome, and you know how to just talk to people and calm them down, and…" Sirius squinted at Remus, the fresh sun beginning to hit his eyes. "You're just really a perfect guy, Remus," he said gently, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Anyone, and I mean anyone would he privileged to be loved by you." He smiled slightly and his hand twitched nervously.
Remus smiled at him before going back to staring out to the landscape. The smile remained on his lips, even after Sirius had removed his hand. "Thanks for the vote of confidence, Padfoot," he said casually after he had had sufficient time to reflect on Sirius's praises.
"Eh, don't mention it," Sirius chuckled, somewhat nervously. He quickly glanced at Remus, and the sunlight highlighting the gold streaks in his silky hair. "I meant it, you know," he reassured, as if reading Remus's thoughts. "I meant every word."
"Thanks, Sirius," Remus responded meekly, genuinely flattered.
"Just remember," he said smiling. "We'll always be friends." He gave Remus a flash of his brilliant smile before also watching the bright colors streak across the sky with the sunrise. "So," Sirius continued, changing the subject. "You going to tell whoever the lucky person is that you love them?"
Remus face fell. "I don't know." He felt daunted by Sirius's "We'll always be friends" comment. He wasn't sure if that was Sirius's way of telling him that although he thought highly of Remus, Sirius wasn't interested in him romantically. "I don't think I'm going to just yet." Sirius seemed downtrodden by Remus's decision, but that was only because, Remus assured himself, he felt that he didn't do a good enough job giving his friend confidence.
Remus sighed to himself, as he and Sirius continued to watch the sunrise. After all, if they were going to just be "only friends," sometimes it seemed like it would be easier if they could just be strangers.
Author's Note at the End of the Second Chapter: As promised, this story has more than just one chapter! I am continuing it—like a good little slash fanatic! Heh. But that is partially because of your excellent reviews! Now, since this worked in the first chapter, let's try it again. If you want me to continue, please just say, "Padfootwolfboy, I love you. Please continue!" That's all there is to it! So now… go on go on.
Please Review!!