I know things will be moving fast, but I just wanted to get to the Spuffy goodness. So, hopefully no one would tell me to hurry up with it this time. I had to make it somewhat realistic. I'm glad you guys like it so far!

Chapter 4

Spike looked over at Buffy when the movie was over to see that she was asleep. He smiled again at how cute and innocent she looked. He then picked her up gently and carried her into his room. He placed her on the bed and covered her up. He spent a few moments just staring at her as he brushed some of the hair off of her face. He then took a risk and placed a kiss on her forehead. "God, what are you doing to me?" He whispered to her. Spike looked at her for a few more seconds, before he then left the room and closed the door.

Spike was in the kitchen drinking his coffee the next morning when Buffy walked out of the room, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. She looked at him when her eyes were more focused. "I somehow found myself in your bed this morning. Was I sleepwalking? I've been told I do that sometimes." Spike shook his head as he smiled at her.

"No, I carried you in there. You fell asleep during the movie." Buffy nodded and walked over to the kitchen. She sat down at the counter.

"I must have been more tired than I thought. I hope I didn't drool on you." Spike laughed this time.

"There was no drool. How did you sleep anyway?" He wondered and Buffy smiled at him.

"Like a baby, your bed is very comfortable." Spike nodded as he took another sip from his coffee. He then put the mug down and looked back at her.

"Do you drink coffee?" He asked her and she shook her head.

"No, not really my thing. You have any beer?" Spike raised his eyebrows and she had to smile. "I was kidding. It's way too early to be drinking. You know, not that I drink or anything. Buffy and alcohol are very unmixy. We just don't work well together." Buffy was embarrassed as she looked in his eyes. "Is there a way you can not tell my dad about that? I mean, I only really drank once and I hated it. He really doesn't need to know." Spike noticed the fear on her face and nodded.

"It's just between us." He told her and she sighed in relief. "I'm not much of a drinker either. I'll only have something every now and then, but you would hardly find any beer." Buffy liked the fact that he didn't drink much. She didn't want to be dealing with an alcoholic or anything.

"So, are you off today?" She asked changing the subject.

"I'm off for the week actually. Your father thought I could use the time off." Buffy nodded in understanding.

"Let me guess, you're one of those guys that are all about work. Not much of a personal life, am I right?" Spike shrugged as he placed his coffee mug in the sink.

"I don't have anything better to do. My job can be dangerous; I don't like getting too close to anyone." Spike was surprised that he told her that and Buffy felt bad for him. Something must have happened for him to think that.

"That's no way to live. If you don't let anyone in, you would be living a pretty lonely life." Spike shrugged again.

"I don't mind it." He stated and Buffy let out a sigh.

"And I thought I was bad. I used to think the same thing. I used to believe that if I never let anyone in, then I wouldn't get hurt. It ended up hurting anyway because I realized that I really didn't want to be alone. I don't know you that well, but I know you don't want to be alone either." Spike gave her a small smile.

"You think so?" He said and Buffy nodded.

"I know so; I'm usually good at this sort of thing. So, what happened to make you think that?" Spike looked away from her and really hoped that she wouldn't ask that question. It wasn't something he liked to talk about. He looked back into her eyes and saw the concern there. He then knew that he would tell her anything. He took a deep breath before he spoke.

"I was with my girlfriend for two years. The one I told you about. I loved her more than anything; I would have done anything for her. We were walking in the park one night and I planned on proposing to her." Spike closed his eyes as he relived his worst moment and took another breath. He opened his eyes to look at Buffy's concerned face. "There was a man. He came out of nowhere and pulled a gun out on us. I grabbed her and pulled her behind me. He ordered us to give him all of our valuables. He was wearing a mask, so I never saw his face. I gave him my wallet and she gave him the jewelry she was wearing. He then went into my pockets and took the ring that I was going to give to her. When he took that, I just snapped and attacked him. He grabbed for his gun and pulled the trigger. I knocked him down and looked back at Drusilla. She was staring at me with pain in her eyes and I noticed the blood on her dress. I held her and told her everything was going to be okay, but I knew it was too late. The guy ran off. I was too focused on Dru to pay much attention to him. She...She died in my arms." He said as tears formed in his eyes and Buffy felt like wrapping her arms around him, but she stayed where she was.

"I'm so sorry, that must have been horrible. You didn't have to tell me." She explained and he shook his head.

"No, I needed to talk about it. I've been keeping that in for too long now. I keep blaming myself for what happened. I should have protected her better. I promised her that I always would." He told her as the tears fell down his face now and Buffy couldn't just sit there anymore. She got up and moved over to him. She wrapped her arms around him and he turned and buried his head in her chest. She ran her fingers through his hair to try and comfort him.

"It wasn't your fault. You did all you could." Spike shook his head.

"It wasn't enough." He whispered and she continued to hold him as he started to calm down. He pulled away from her after a few seconds and looked into her eyes. She was confused with the look he gave her, until he moved closer and was soon pressing his lips to hers. Buffy was taken by surprise and then started to kiss him back. He cupped her cheek as he continued to kiss her. Spike felt like he was kissing Heaven. He then pulled away suddenly when he realized what he was doing. He looked at the confused expression on her face and moved away from her. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that." He said and she felt a little hurt by his reaction. He ran his fingers through his hair and looked away from her. "I need to go for a walk. You should stay here. It's safe here." He stated and realized he probably wasn't making much sense. He just knew that he had to get away from her before he did something he would really regret. "I'll be back soon." He told her as he grabbed his jacket and walked out of the apartment, leaving Buffy to wonder what happened.