Chapter 5

"I love you, Daddy. I'll talk to you later." Buffy said to her father as she hung up the phone, just when Spike decided to walk in. She looked at him and wasn't sure what to say. "That was my dad. He got there okay." She figured that was a safe way to start the conversation. Spike only nodded as he sat on the couch. Buffy didn't know what to do as she walked over to him. "Are you alright? You left in a hurry." Spike finally looked at her after a few seconds.

"I'm fine, just needed to get some fresh air." Buffy nodded and thought of what else she wanted to say.

"If I'm causing problems, I could go stay with my friend Willow. She said she wouldn't mind." Spike looked panicked at the thought of her leaving and shook his head.

"No, you have to stay here. I promised your father that I would protect you." Buffy let out a sigh.

"I don't think I really need protection. It's obvious that me being here is too much trouble for you. It would probably be better if I left." Spike then stood up and walked over to her.

"I can't let you leave, Buffy. I need you here. You might be the only one that can keep me sane." He said with a hint of a smile.

"It doesn't seem that way to me." She replied in a soft tone as she looked away from him. He cupped her chin and turned her gaze back on his.

"I was a ponce. I shouldn't have walked out like that. I just had to think about things. I really do want you here." He explained.

"I just don't want things to be weird with us." She told him.

"I don't want that either." He replied as he caressed her cheek. He then grabbed her hand and placed it over his heart. "You feel that, Buffy? You feel how fast my heart beats whenever you're near me? I never thought I could feel that again. That's why I panicked earlier; it has nothing to do with you." Buffy placed her other hand over his heart.

"I know you're scared, but you have to let yourself love again. No one should have to live their life alone." Spike gave her a small smile.

"How is it possible for someone so young to be so wise?" He wondered and she gave him a smile of her own.

"Hey, I've always been wise beyond my years. You're only four years older than me, mister. That's hardly much of a difference." Spike agreed.

"You're right about that, but you're also Hank's daughter. He trusted me with you." Buffy nodded in understanding as she grasped his hand in hers.

"You wouldn't be doing anything wrong. You promised to protect me, which is exactly what you'll be doing. In more ways than one." She whispered to him as she pulled him toward his bedroom. Spike panicked again when he realized what she wanted.

"Buffy, are you sure about this? There's no going back." Buffy looked into his eyes and nodded.

"I'm sure, Spike. Let me take care of you." She said as she pulled him into his room and closed the door.

Buffy woke up alone and looked around the room. She got out of bed and put her clothes on before she walked out. She then found Spike in the living room looking out the window. She slowly walked over to him, not knowing what to say. They both just stood there in silence, until Spike finally spoke. "I love watching the birds. I used to always wish I could fly. To be that free." He said as he looked at her and she gave him a soft smile.

"That's a nice wish." Spike nodded as he looked back out the window.

"Your father will kill me." He said suddenly and Buffy shook her head, even though he wasn't looking.

"No, he won't. He doesn't have to know." Spike laughed as he looked back at her.

"There are ways of finding out. We slept together, Buffy. It won't be easy keeping that a secret. God, I don't even know what I was thinking. I could lose my job." Buffy grabbed his hand and tried to make him listen.

"That's not going to happen. My dad needs you too much. You don't have to worry." She told him.

"I wish it could be that easy. I should have stopped before things went too far, but I just wanted you so much. I've never wanted anything that much before, but it can't happen again. We can't get involved, Buffy. It could be too dangerous." Buffy had a feeling he was talking about more than just her father.

"I don't want to stop, Spike. I really like you. I think it could be something more if you just let it." Spike shook his head.

"I can't." He said in a defeated tone and Buffy felt like being the one to protect him.

"Why? I know it's not just because of my dad." Spike then couldn't hold his tears in.

"I'm already falling in love with you. The last time I loved someone, she was taken away from me. I won't let that happen again." Buffy wrapped her arms around him as he started to cry.

"I'm not going anywhere, Spike. I'm right here; everything's going to be okay." She whispered to him and he shook his head as he pulled away from her.

"You don't know that." Buffy gave him a soft kiss on the forehead.

"I know enough. We're both going to be okay." Spike thought about what she said and then pressed his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. He broke away and kissed her all over her face and then moved his lips to her neck. He pulled her closer and buried his face in her hair.

"I won't lose you." He whispered to her and Buffy's heart was breaking for this man. She held him tighter as she tried to soothe him. She really hoped that they would be able to work things out because she couldn't let him go. She knew that she loved him and it was a feeling that she never wanted to go away. No matter what.