Authors note: I promised someone that I would write more fics. Sad thing is I promised her like...last year (!) This is another story...better than the last actually...

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Disclaimer: I do not own Inuyasha or the moon...or the sun...or Saturn...or nothing. sighs but I do own a skateboard! Ha!

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The Mind of Another

Chapter1: Tears of the Past


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The morning was cool and damp. The birds on the big oak tree out side of Kagome's window were playing joyously in their nests. Kagome could hear their blissful calls mingled with the traffic and voices from the crowded sidewalk below. Sunlight slinked through the cloud dotted blue sky and vividly streamed in from the opened window. The radiant light gilded the young girl's hair and eyes, lay brilliantly upon her skin and shaped her shadow. Soft cool wind blew through her long hair, spreading it like ocean's water. She stood by the windowpane, eyes red with dark lines under them. They were the only unsightly things that stood out from her fair features.

She did not cry because she couldn't anymore. All she did for the past six days was cry, and now she had no more tears to shed. She wandered off into a distant place: her mind. It was her territory, no one could tap into it other than herself. And there, she could cry all she wanted, she could live in a fantasy land made up of dreams that could never come true, and in her mind, her father was alive.

Memory, that's what it was...nothing but mere memory. It was the only thing she had left of him...an image in her psyche.

Anger slowly filled her heart. "You didn't even say good-bye, you...you..."her voice broke before she could finish the sentence. Sadness was dire enough...she didn't need anger as well. She sighed and closed her eyes, wanting the anger to slip away. Her father was dead...and neither tears nor anger could bring him back.

Her mind drifted again and she stood for a long time, ignoring her tired body that hadn't gotten any sleep for almost a week. The remembrance and feeling of how she first found out that her father was dead haunted her. It kept on coming back into her mind, making her feel even worse every time she tried to put it out.

She and her brother went to bed the night that their father died, foolishly thinking that their father was just working late again. But when they woke up the next morning and went down to the kitchen, they saw their grandfather holding their crying mother in his arms, trying to comfort her. Their father was nowhere to be found. They were already too surprised seeing their mother crying, they didn't even think about asking any questions. Later, their grandfather told them that the police called early in the morning, someone saw a couple of punks shooting some guy and called the police. They said that when they found the body, Mr. Higurashi was dead...

A sudden knock on the door interrupted Kagome's thoughts and made her jump. She spun around sharply and found her mother in the doorway. Mrs. Higurashi had one hand on the doorknob and the other holding a used tissue. Her eyes were red and blotchy from crying.

"Kagome, it's time to go." Mrs. Higurashi said with a shaking voice.

Kagome stared blankly at her mother, and then suddenly out of nowhere ran into her mother's arms and tears once again came running down her face. She didn't know why (or how?) she cried. Maybe it was just the reaction of the feeling of seeing someone that shared the same pain as she did.

The two just stood there, embracing each other at a doorway, weeping and sharing the same heartbreaking pain that caused them both to hurt.

Kagome's father was gone. Died without a word, without and explanation. There was never an explanation. Just the news of his death, a garbled message from the police that arrived a week before her birthday. Tomorrow was Kagome's birthday, the day right after her father's funeral. Great birthday present wasn't it? The words 'your father is dead' would definitely make her happy.

Mrs. Higurashi let go of her daughter. She wiped blew her nose in the already used tissue and repeated the ill-flavored words. "It's time to go to the funeral." She said wiping away the tears.

Kagome looked down at the ground for a moment, staring hard, and when she raised her head again her mother could still see the tears brimming in her eyes. Her eyes felt entirely too hot and her throat was sore. She pushed the tears away from her eyes with a shaking hand. "I...I don't want to go..." she got the words out slowly.

Mrs. Higurashi eyed her daughter with sympathy. "Why not?" she asked even though she knew perfectly well why not.

Kagome dropped her head again and fixed her eyes on the ground, trying to look at anything but the sad mom eyes. She wanted her mother to hold her, not just pity her. A gentle, soft touch, a cool hand upon her own fevered face would at least make her feel a little better. Hazily, she opened her mouth to answer her mother's question. "Because if I go..." she paused and pushed tears away with an angry jab. "It would mean that I accept the fact that daddy is dead." She finished, swallowing hot tears. What she remembered of him was not enough happiness for the rest of her life.

Mrs. Higurashi winced and then lifted up her daughter's face with a hand. "Kagome, look at me." she said and her daughter obeyed. It had not been her first experience with death, nor, most likely, would it have been her last "In your heart, you will never ever accept that fact." Her mother said tightly. Kagome looked at her with questionable eyes. Wasn't her mother supposed to say something that would comfort her? "But" Mrs. Higurashi continued "You can't deny it when you know the truth. It's pointless." She said as she clenched her fingers into the tissue she was holding. "It's what I've been trying to tell myself for the last six days." She finished with a faint smile.

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At the grave, Kagome stood beside of her mother and Sota, with gramps behind them. Her throat felt hot and she felt like crying again. Apparently, her mother's words weren't enough to cheer her up. But of course, how can words ever alter the sadness of a loss?

She looked around her surroundings. Everyone's eyes were closed. They looked so pale. Everything was so still and quiet she could hear her own hart beating. Why wasn't anyone crying? Why was everyone keeping the pain inside them? The sounds of crying and the expression of grief were better than empty silence. It felt like everyone were mindless zombies standing over a dead body, waiting for it to join them. Kagome had never felt anything as spiteful as this before.

Vaguely, she looked over at his little brother. He was showing no sign of sorrow or whatsoever. Though she could see no tears, she could see pain in his eyes. When Kagome was Sota's age, she didn't understand the ache of losing someone. When her twice removed cousin died of sickness, she wasn't allowed to go to her funeral. Kagome remember how she cried that morning. Not because her cousin had died, but because she couldn't ride in the new car with the rest of the family and go see a dead person in a big wooden box.

Now Kagome could hear her mother making small winded noises, and then blowing her nose, disrupting the stony silence. Apparently her words altered nothing for herself neither. Kagome could hear her grandfather trying to console her and whispering to her, but she couldn't make out the words.

Sota griped to his mom's hand and kept glancing at her, then at Kagome. Her mother looked straight ahead. She didn't even wipe away the tears that were rolling down her cheeks.

Kagome never felt so helpless in her life.

She felt a sharp pain in her stomach, and swallowed hot tears. Though her eyes were dry, she felt like she was crying. She felt like she was going to throw up...no, she didn't just feel like it, she did. Her head felt heavy and she vomited all over the grassy ground.

Everyone looked at Kagome. Mrs. Higurashi looked concerned and whispered something to her daughter, but she didn't hear her...she couldn't hear anything but a confusing, angry ringing sound. She felt like she was going to faint, her eyes were blind, and her head felt heavy. Everything was still. With a red face, she stood up. The saddened girl closed her eyes, screwing them tight as she willed herself to see her father's face. It brought a flicker of joy to her heart. But when she opened them again, she saw only the reality, slightly blurred by tears. Shifting her weight from one foot to another uncomfortably, she placed her mind to think about anything but what was happening right now. That way she didn't have to think about the coffin that was being lowered into the ground.

Or the dead body that was inside it.

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Mrs. Higurashi unlocked the lock and opened the door. Kagome and the rest of her family that were still alive one by one walked solemnly in.

"Kagome, close the door would you dear?" Mrs. Higurashi said to her daughter who went in last without even looking. The rest of them just left Kagome there standing by the doorway without further word. Kagome went into the house and looked back at the opened door, half expecting someone else to walk in. Then she remembered distantly that that someone was dead.

No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't get the question out of her mind.

What now? Is this really the way it is suppose to end?

That night, Kagome and Sota got to bed. The shrine was silent and inert. How strange it is that sometimes quietness can be comforting, while other times, it could be frightening.

"Will they come back?" Sota asked his sister in a slightly slurred tone when they both had gotten into bed with blankets covering their bodies.

Kagome didn't feel like talking to him, but she answered anyway. "Who?" She asked bluntly and turned her back towards him.

"The people who shot dad... are they going to come back?"

"I don't know." Kagome whispered.

Somehow she was scared, afraid of all the new things that she was going to have to put up with. With her father gone, things were going to be difficult, not to mention different. What were they going to do about money? The government didn't exactly give money to the cheerless. Thinking about it made her uncomfortable and so she turned her body around for a more contented position. She glanced over at her brother's face and noticed how frightened he looked. He too was scared. The little guy had always tried to act so tough, and he always succeeded in doing so...until now.

"It's ok..." she told him, trying to comfort him. "They won't come back..." she paused and swallowed, trying the picture the murderers. The despicable gangsters who had nothing better to do than to ruin people's lives just for the heck of it. Stupid. She shifted her eyes slowly from her brother to the window. "And if they do, I'll personally kick their butts. I won't let them hurt you, so don't worry." He was young. He shouldn't worry about this; he ought to be blissfully ignorant rather than burdened by this sort of knowledge.

The room lapsed into silence.

Sota smiled. And Kagome knew he did even though she wasn't looking. Deep down, Sota loved his big sister. But his judgments were always clouded by their stereotype sibling rivalries. (Unlike Inuyasha and Sesshoumaru...)

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At night, her memories haunted her the most...

Kagome was still wide-awake at midnight. She couldn't sleep, no matter how hard she tried to. Her mind could find no rest when it was so full of trepidations. The young girl tossed and turned. And just like the dead, she found no rest.

Thunder roared. And rain began pouring down. The drops of rain that hit the window sounded like little pebbles falling on to glass. Kagome sat up. She trembled as her bare feet touched the wooden cold floor. The young girl walked quietly to the window as she wrapped a blanket around her body, blocking coldness that would touch her skin. Her protector from the cold was something that father had bought it for her when she was seven years old. A beautiful phoenix was sewed on it. And just like the coverlet shielding her from iciness, her father had always shield her from fears, uncertainties, sorrow and so much more.

And now that was all she could feel.

All the joy and laughter she had with her father wandered into her mind. All had happened so fast... She always slept with the insurance of her father's presence. Now she had no insurance...only memory. And this feeling was not and could never be controlled. Eyes half-open, she stared off into the emptiness of her mind, where nothing but thoughts of evil monsters of those she had seen and saw laughed, mocking and tormenting her with their maddening voices. And she could never control when the voices would begin, or when it would end.

While trying to shove these thoughts to the back of her mind, Kagome walked quietly back to her bed, in fear of waking up her little brother, she tucked herself in as silently as possible.

With a heavy heart, there was no hope for sleep. She let her eyes spring open and stared out the window for a few moments. Unexpectedly the storm stopped all of the sudden, and as the grey clouds slipped away, silver streams of moonlight lit the room in silence, reminding her of the questions in her heart, and of her new life in the morrow.


AN: sorry if this chapter was a littlesad...keep in mind that the whole story's not going to be like this, expecialy when you get to chapter three.

Anyways, the next chapter is when the story really begins. I'll try updating it soon.

a-phI!