Wheat field, Montana

Sound of rushing wind flowing gently through the wheat field. Nothing can be seen except wheat, wheat and more wheat.

Shard: "Bryce?" (frightened edge to her voice)

Pause shuffling of feet through the field

Bryce: "Over here." (off left)

Shard: "I can't see you!"

Bryce: "Follow my voice, we're almost there. I think."

Shard: "Keep talking."

Bryce: "So... how good are you with diapers?"

Shard: "You are so evil. What about that movie you were talking about making? That
vampire thing?"

Bryce: "I told you about that already."

Shard: "I sorta fell asleep, sorry."

Bryce: "Hmmm…. it's set in present day with vampires, right?-Careful, it's muddy over here- well, no one can fight them, they're too strong. Well, they're immortal, aren't they? No one can beat'em-"

Shard: "Except?"

Bryce: "Except them that ain't got blood to drink."

Shard: "Lawyers?

Bryce: "Nahh. I didn't say they had bad taste. Think furry."

Shard: "Furry? Ferrets?"

Bryce (laughs): Vampire-slaying ferrets?

Shard: "Well, what then?"

Bryce: "Easy. Muppets."

Shard: "Muppets!"

Bryce: "Yeah, they don't got any blood, do they, just stuffing, like. But Kermit, Piggy, Janice, Zute, they all got squirt guns filled with holy water.

Shard: "Humanity's last hope are Muppets with holy water?"

Bryce: "Yeah, schweet, in'nit?"

Shard: "Yeah... Right. Are we there yet?"

Bryce: "Ummm... (pauses) I think so."

Shard: "So you think we should have just left the car out on the road like that?"

Bryce: "What, you worried about a couple of car-jacking ferrets might drive off with it? Anyway, there's this big finale scene at Niagara Falls, right? The Muppets get some priest to bless the water… Big fight scene, we're talking millions of dollars here, heli-cams, boats- Miss Piggy spamming some serious undead butt!"

-Cue strange noises off-

Shard: "Wha-waz-zat?"

Bryce: "Eh?"

Shard: "Did you hear that?"

Bryce: "No, noth-"

Bryce lets out yell. Sound of falling rocks and moving earth

Shard runs faster, footsteps padding along

Shard: "Bryce? Bryce - Jesus! Are you all right? Sound of footsteps squelching through mud

Bryce: "I think it's some sorta blast crater."

Shard: "Blast crater! -coughs- Come on, let's get outta here."

Bryce: "Whoa, the ground's still warm."

Shard: "Bryce!"

Bryce: "I think there's something over here." -coughs-

Shard: "I can't- there's too much smoke- I can't see anything. Bryce!"

-Rumbling surrounds them-

Shard: "Bryce!" -coughs-

Bryce: -panting- "Come on, give me your hand!"

-Chopper blades whirr down- Shouts drift through the smoke. Thuds of a dozen heavy boots thudding through the mud.-

Bryce: "MOVE!"