The One Who Sees
By Vinya

"I'm gonna do what any man would do about it. Something damn manly."
Xander to Larry

Chapter 7
Xander sat quietly in the circle, his eyes fighting the need to open and see just what was going on around him. It was an odd feeling- he could actually feel Angel rifling around inside his head, and it made him sick.

He wanted to shove him out. He wanted the demon gone!

Memories came to the surface suddenly- Halloween. He was actually doing it; bringing up memories of things that hadn't happened yet. He could hear Angel in the background, sharing his secrets with the other Scooby's.

Silently he steamed at their lack of decency. These were his memories.

He managed to push those thoughts to the side though; they were his friends, and they didn't want to see him go dark. He understood that. Yeah, he got that. It wasn't like he wanted to go to the dark side or anything, he just wanted to know… he wanted to know he was a good guy in the end. That he always had a good reason- even if Buffy couldn't see it.

He could live with that.

Halloween memories started coming faster.

"I think I can smell you, Buffy," the words were quiet, but he could hear them through the noise of the street.

Something shifted, and before he was being pushed out of the memory. There was something different though-

"AAH!" Xander screamed loudly, jerking away from Angel. He could remember it all- it shouldn't be real! Couldn't! There was no way! Bombs dropping, gun in hand, men in fatigues laying in the ditch beside him.

He turned to O'Neill- he was alright, getting ready to shoot again. He turned to Lamour- half his head was gone. Dammit, they had hit their target, Lamour was dead. SG-2 was going to be freakin' mad- at first. Then they're going to go through hell.

Another glance; Jackson. He was alive. This was all his fault, how could General West have ever trusted him! Getting them stuck on this damned-

A sudden shaking, a shaky gasp, and suddenly Buffy was there in front of him. "What happened?"

Xander simply sat there gasping, shaking, sweating with the on looks of the others. Angel took one look at him, before turning to Giles. "I think, on Halloween, something nasty happened. I could feel an invading force on his mind. Girls, I think he was possessed."

"By what?" Willow shrieked, "Oh, god! Xander! Was he alright? Was he hurt? Did it-"

"I don't know," Angel interrupted, "It ended too quickly. We were there, I was about to try and change memories, and then we were there…"

"Where?"

"On a battlefield. There were bombs going off, guns… I think Xander saw a guy with his head blown off, then you woke him up."

Everybody turned carefully to Xander, who had pulled his knees up close to his head while still shaking. Jonathan was trying to calm him down, but it really wasn't working all too well.

"So he was possessed?" Buffy asked sharply, "Is that why he wanted to kill me? Because I don't think it was that… it was still Xander, like I said. Just an angry, older version."

"Alright," Giles said, as he rushed to make a pot of tea for the still shaking Xander, "So he may have… gotten over the possession. But the fact remains he had to have kept those memories, or they wouldn't have forced their way into the spell without any attempt from you."

"Alright- so he's marred with a bunch of war and death memories," Angel shook off, "Is that really enough to turn him dark though?"

"I don't think so," Willow refused, "No way. Something really nasty would have had to happen to him; he wouldn't just want to go after Buffy for the sake of it."

Xander was finally calmed now, taking the tea from Giles with a soft 'Thank you,'. It wasn't much, but the memories were already fading. It was horrifying to know he was going to get all those memories- and that they wouldn't go away once the spell wore off next time.

On the plus side, maybe he could use a few military mumblings. They could be useful…

"What memories are we going to use next?" Buffy asked, not quite sure if she should be speaking up about continuing onwards after the last attempt. "I mean, what do we know will happen? No matter what?"

To Be Continued