Tied By Fate
By: pnaixrose
Disclaimer: I don't own CCS.
Chapter 17: Longing
He was tired. From his flight, from the press and reporters, from his emotions, just everything. Sighing, Li Syaoran pushed his way through a crowd of people who were waiting outside the Hong Kong airport. Ignoring all the questions and comments, he walked past them all and headed towards the long black limousine waiting for him. Sliding in, he closed the door and sighed. He was really starting to get a headache from all those people.
He saw a familiar face at the wheel. "Xiao-Lang..." the old man said.
Syaoran forced a smile upon his face. "Hello, Wei. Thank you for picking me up."
His long-time servant and friend gave a polite nod. "We've missed you." Wei didn't get a response and so he turned around and pushed the foot pedal. He knew something was wrong and upsetting his young master. Syaoran was too quiet, not that it was unusual. But Meiling-san had said he was actually happy in Japan and that he was a changed man. The young Li girl had even explained that Syaoran now smiled. Wei longed to see that innocent smile on his friend's face again. It had been so long since he had last seen it. Xiao-Lang never seemed happy anymore. It sometimes seemed like he even despised life itself.
If Syaoran was saddened now, then maybe his source of happiness in Japan had vanished? But what exactly was his source of happiness?
As they began down the road, Syaoran closed his tired amber eyes. As soon as he did, a flash of emerald crossed his mind. A cheerful, tinkling laugh was heard. A scent of cherry blossoms reached his nose.
Syaoran opened his eyes immediately and scowled in frustration. She just wouldn't leave his damn thoughts! She was everywhere! Sakura was like a silent plague, unrelenting when he came to appearing over and over again in his head.
He needed somewhere to think, to unscramble his thoughts. Yet he needed advice and comfort. A place came to mind. It was perfect.
"Wei," he whispered, his voice low and raspy. Maybe it was from the long flight. But he knew that it was probably from what he was about to say. "M-May I request a place to visit first?"
"Of course, Master."
Syaoran's throat felt dry and he swallowed. A cold, familiar shiver of guilt went through his spine just at the thought of the place. "Head for...my father's grave."
"Gomen, Tomoyo-san, Hiiragazawa-san," Fujitaka said sadly. "I'm afraid she's not going to school today."
A crestfallen look on Tomoyo's face appeared. She and Eriol were both at Sakura's front door. It was morning and time for school. After finding out that Syaoran had left, Sakura had gone into a depression, not speaking to either Tomoyo or Eriol at all. The raven-haired girl looked up to her boyfriend sorrowfully, her eyes reflecting frustration.
The azure eyed boy knew that look and it pained her to see her so sad. "Can we at least see her, Kinomoto-san? Onegai?" Eriol begged. "We really want to see her."
Fujitaka shook his head slowly. "I'm sorry but she refuses to see anyone. She won't even see me." He sighed aloud, feeling sorrow for his daughter. All he knew was that Li Syaoran had left Japan. Ever since then, his daughter was upset.
She had feelings for that boy. Fujitaka just knew it. It was a father's instinct.
Li-kun seemed like such a nice young man. Of course, that wasn't what Fujitaka had first thought of the boy. He was certainly different from the first day he had laid eyes on him. It was as if Li-kun had gone through a whole transition while he had been here in Tomoeda. Even though Fujitaka hadn't spent much time with the boy, he remembered that day when he had passed by the house early in the morning when Sakura hadn't even woken up yet. Fujitaka welcomed him inside where he had been quiet and polite, almost seeming as if he was shy. Li-kun had an uncanny resemblance to his mother, Li Yelan. They both hid their emotions and acted as though they had been brought up to be prim and proper. Yet when people saw past their status, they were caring people who obviously needed to get away from their heavy responsibilities. Fujitaka always remembered how much his student, Yelan, would strive to be her best at everything. It was as if she was being scrutinized every single second. Was that how it was in the Li clan?
But that boy, Li Syaoran. Fujitaka pitied him. It seemed that Li-kun would always blame himself for allowing his father to die. The boy thought everyone blamed him for it, including his mother. But Fujitaka knew how much Yelan loved her son. It was a single parent's natural instinct to love their children and give them a push to make them strive who they want to be. But maybe Yelan had pushed too hard. Maybe, instead of letting him choose his path of life, she had molded Li-kun into someone she expected him to be...
...the owner of a multibillion company and the leader of a legendary, prodigious clan...
...whom his daughter loved dearly.
Sighing, Fujitaka turned to the two children in front of him. "Gomen ne. Maybe you could stop by later after school and see if she wants to talk then. I'm really worried about her so I decided to take the day off and stay here. Please stop by again."
Eriol sighed as he ran a hand through his dark hair. "O-Of course Kinomoto-san. We'll be back. Please...take care of her."
As the door closed and the two teens went on their way towards the school, there was a deathly silence. It had seemed that everything around them was gloomy. Even the usually chirping birds were silent.
As he walked along, Eriol just couldn't understand it. Why would Syaoran leave? Now Sakura and everyone else were miserable. The reincarnation cursed himself. Maybe his theory on how Syaoran and Sakura were meant to be together was wrong. So what if they were bonded and felt each other's feelings? That didn't mean he had the right to bring Syaoran here and test out his little prediction. Eriol was disgusted with himself. It was as if he had set up this whole experiment to see if he was right! He had basically played with Syaoran's and Sakura's hearts and had tried matching them up as if they were puppets!
He stopped walking, his palms balled up into fists. Eriol didn't even notice that Tomoyo had stopped a little ways ahead of him.
Eriol loathed himself. How could he do that to two of his best friends?
"Damn!"
His fist collided with the white concrete wall next to him as Tomoyo jumped at his outburst. She looked at him with sad amethyst eyes. "Eriol..."
"It's my fault! I brought Syaoran here, thinking I could change him, thinking that maybe Sakura and he were soul mates. What was I thinking? I played with them! Maybe they weren't soul mates at all and this whole 'connection' between them was just a coincidence? Maybe they weren't supposed to meet. Maybe I had just gone way over my head and just ruined their lives!"
Tomoyo shook her head slowly as she neared him. She hated to see him this way. He barely cursed and it scared her to hear that he was so angry with himself. He thought he was wrong, but he wasn't. She placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Don't say such things. I still think you're right. What about the description of their 'connection' in your magic books?"
He looked at the love of his life in despair and guilt. "You would believe some piece of paper? I ruined them. I ruined both of them."
"No you didn't," Tomoyo persisted strongly. "How could you say that you ruined them? They're in love! And your mission in helping Li-kun worked! For the first time, Li-kun has finally smiled, has finally expressed how he felt inside. It was all because of Sakura. And for the first time, I've actually seen a look of pure joy on Sakura-chan's face. She had never talked about someone with so much feeling except when she talked about Li-kun. They're in love. You didn't ruin them. You helped them."
After he had let the words settle on his soul, Eriol's eyes became gentle as he wrapped Tomoyo in his arms. It was amazing how she made him feel so peaceful so suddenly. Her words were like magic and were even stronger than his real magic power that could once cause storms. She had calmed his angry spirit and had even lessened the guilt he felt.
God...he loved her.
"Th-Then why is it that everything's like this? Why did Syaoran leave? Sakura-san had just realized her feelings and he left out of the blue," Eriol wondered. "Is it because of his mother and the company?"
In his arms, Tomoyo shook her head slowly. "I don't think so." She looked up at Eriol's azure eyes. "Remember on TV? Did you see his expression? It was as if he was heartbroken."
The sorcerer nodded, remembering the miserable look on his friend's face. "Then it has to be something with Sakura. But what?" Then suddenly, Eriol's eyes widened in realization. "Remember at school yesterday? Syaoran was acting all distant and we concluded it was because he felt Sakura's happiness when she had been thinking about Tsukishiro-san. They were going to have a date last night and she was excited. Syaoran knew Sakura was thinking about him, but he didn't know about the date."
Tomoyo nodded. "I remember."
"Maybe he found out about it."
The girl's eyes widened at his suggestion. "B-But how? Neither you nor I told him..." She searched Eriol's eyes for the answer to the confusing predicament. Then it hit her. Maybe the person who told Syaoran about the date had been someone they hadn't expected.
Maybe it had been Sakura herself.
The breeze swept through his hair as he approached a slab of stone. It was among many other slabs of stone, but the particular one in front of him was different.
It was his father's grave.
Syaoran stayed far from it, nearly five feet away. He was shivering as the emotion filled him. He had never visited his father's grave...ever. He had refused to, thinking that he couldn't dwell on the past and should move on.
But in reality, he was only running away.
It was odd as he stood there. He had thought that it would be awkward staring at the grave. But in fact, it was actually comforting. Syaoran figured that it was because whenever he was near his father, even when he was dead, a wave of calmness came over him.
It was indeed somewhere where he could think.
Syaoran suddenly felt his feet moving as he neared the grave even more. Then, in his own surprise, he sat down on the ground and leaned his back against the grave. Another breeze swept by as he came in contact with the stone.
He suddenly felt right at home.
Closing his eyes, he swallowed a lump in his throat. Syaoran thought about all the things that were going on right now. The company and clan...his mother and sisters...Sakura. He suddenly felt stifled, as if he was choking underwater. He didn't know what the hell he should do.
He felt...lost.
And it was all because of himself. He had brought this upon himself. Syaoran had been too weak in saving his father, hadn't been good enough for the clan, had started acting cold towards his family...had fallen in love with Sakura.
It was his fault.
"Father..." he choked, "d-did I ever tell you that I was sorry? I'm sorry for not being able to help you. If I had, you would still be alive. The clan would be happier and better off with you as the leader. Mother and my sisters would certainly love having you around. And..." Syaoran voice trailed off. The image came to him again. Sakura... "And I wouldn't have gone to that damn Tomoeda and fallen in love with her!"
He slammed his fist against the ground in frustration.
"Why the hell did you leave me? Dammit. I can't take all of this, you know! I can't take the pressure, the guilt, the pain. Don't you care about me at all?"
Syaoran growled and buried his head in his hands. He felt trapped. Alone. He had no other ways to turn to. Everything around him seemed to be going wrong. But this was his reality...he could no longer run away from it. Japan had been a dream, a paradise. He had friends there and had actually been happy. It was because of her. Sakura. She was the reason why he had stopped thinking so hard, the reason why the pressure of the clan had suddenly been lifted from his shoulders. She had changed him. He had smiled. He had laughed. He had talked.
He had loved.
It felt like an illusion now. His happiness had been short lived. Reality hit. The damn clan was in trouble. His mother had a heart attack.
And Sakura loved another.
"Please Father...j-just help me. I know you're gone because of me but c-could you just do me one favor? Help me. I need it. I have no where to go...no one to turn to. All I have is to confront my responsibility and become the leader again. But I can't. I've learned too much in Japan. S-Something's always missing."
He knew what it was too.
"It's Sakura. I know it. She's the one I need, the one who seems to lesson the pressure. She made me smile again, made me laugh. She changed me." Syaoran sighed aloud. "I love her. She's the only one I'll ever love."
Yet another breeze swept through him. However, this time, the wind felt warm against his skin. It was as if...arms had just enveloped him.
A slight smile caught his lips. "You're here aren't you? You're watching me. You always were. You don't blame me for your death. Nobody does. Not even Mother. I was the one who was blaming myself. It was me. I think I knew it all along. But I hid it deep inside because...because it gave me a reason to loathe my responsibility. If everyone hated me then I was allowed to hate them back, to hate my life." The desolate teen scoffed at himself. "I've always been running from the truth, haven't I? I even ran away from her...the girl that changed me."
He shook his head slowly.
"But could you blame me? She's in love with someone else."
Syaoran lifted his head from his hands. It was wet. Was it raining?
No. He had been crying. Syaroan reached for his eyes. He still was crying.
He had not cried for a long time...not even at his father's funeral.
That was because he had been running away from it all, bottling it all up inside him. Well he was no longer a coward. He wasn't running anymore. He faced the facts.
His company and clan was a mess. His mother, who he had always thought blamed him, was in the hospital. His sisters were distressed. He had left the only friends he had ever had. He had even left Sakura...because she didn't love him back.
It all hurt. It hurt badly.
He had experienced hurt before. But this time, he was no longer holding back. He cried. It wasn't a sob or a sniffle. Silent tears simply left his eyes.
But with every tear, another drop of guilt left him. He no longer blamed himself. It wasn't anyone's fault that his father was dead. Syaoran had only been a kid then so how could he have stopped the bullets? A weight lifted from his shoulders.
His father's death wasn't his fault.
A tiny paw touched her cheek and awoke her from her deep trance. Sakura looked to the small stuffed animal who was sitting in front of her face. She stifled a sniffle and covered her body with her blankets.
She wanted to be left alone.
Kero frowned at her reaction. This was what he had been dealing with for the past day. She was so stubborn. She had refused to get up from that stupid bed and had even refused breakfast and lunch! He really was getting worried about her. "Sakura...Tomoyo and Eriol stopped by earlier. Just though you would want to know."
He heard a muffled noise from the blankets and heaved a sigh. He knew she didn't want to see him right now. The stuffed animal floated back into his little room in Sakura's desk drawer, a growing anger inside him. It was all that gaki's fault! He had done something to his mistress and he would pay dearly! Kero knew that boy was bad news. He had hurt Sakura more than once and now this? Kero was honestly glad the kid had left the country, but he suddenly wanted him back. Sakura wanted him back. That's why she was crying.
And it was painful to see her this way.
As the rather roomy cabinet closed with a slight click, Sakura slowly lifted her head from underneath the covers. Her small, loyal Kero had left her alone to her thoughts.
Sakura ducked under the blankets again as she cuddled her body closer. But no matter what she did, she always felt cold.
Empty and cold.
She couldn't feel him. She couldn't feel his comforting, warm green aura anymore. He was gone. He had gone far, far away. And what made it worse was that Sakura still couldn't feel his emotions. She wasn't even sure if they still had the little 'bond' between them anymore. It's either that or Syaoran was still keeping his emotions hidden. Oh, how she wished he would put down that wall of his if that was the case
She was desperate for any little reminder of him. She loved him. And she had all this time while he was here so she could tell him. But no. She was stupid. The night when he was to leave, he finds out that she's going to go on a date with Yukito-san.
Stupid, stupid, stupid.
She really longed to see him, to tell him how she felt. But let's face it. Maybe it was futile? He left Japan for his clan and company. And besides, Hong Kong is his home, his birthplace. He was a busy, important man. He had so much responsibility while she was just a lazy, little girl who refused to get out of bed! Why would Syaoran ever even listen to her confession? He probably had swarms of rich, famous girls that would be much more suitable for him that she was. Who wouldn't like that guy? He had looks, talent, personality, and even a sense of mystery behind his cute face. He had changed so much too. Syaoran had been an arrogant boy and suddenly transformed into the most caring person in the world. There was just so much about him and so much she just wanted to uncover.
His warm hugs and those eyes...
Sakura cringed under the covers as tears fell from her closed eyes.
Li Syaoran and Kinomoto Sakura? What an unlikely match. But she still loved him with all her heart.
Oh god. Will this ever pass?
Probably not.
Syaoran walked into a pair of sliding glass doors into a large hallway. He swallowed a lump in his throat at the sight of the place.
White. Cleanliness. The smell of a distinct...
...hospital.
He hated hospitals. They always made him queasy for obvious reasons. This was the place of death. They always brought back the sight of tears, of his father's blood, of fear...of guilt. But after that occurrence at his father's grave, he felt a bit better. He still hated standing inside the building, but he could at least bear it.
As his guide, Wei led the way past the busy nurses and doctors. Syaoran followed behind slowly, taking in all the different colors and aspects he could possibly see. Walking through the pure white walls felt like a dream. It was as if every step he took only made him more lost in an endless maze of anxiousness. But he kept up with his old butler and finally, they stopped in front of a wooden door, their final destination. He stared at it, suddenly feeling a bit small.
Wei looked down at him with a slight smile. "Go on, Xiao-Lang. Your mother's waiting for you."
His mother...
Syaoran barely gave Wei a nod before he gripped the doorknob and opened the door. The next sight he saw scared him. In the middle of the white room was a woman laying on a clean bed. He almost didn't recognize his own mother. From where he stood, she was a deathly pale, even paler than when she wore her customary makeup. He stood several steps closer to her and started to wonder just when she started to look so old. Syaoran had always thought of her as the strong woman, the backbone of the family. She was stern at times yet timid and sweet at others.
Just like a mother should be.
Apparent wrinkles had appeared on her face. Her hair wasn't combed as straight as she always wanted it. Her closed eyes seemed to be hiding a pair of tired eyes. And the tubes and wires around her just didn't suit someone like his mother.
She was supposed to be the strong one. He had never seen her so...weak.
It was then that he realized just how much he admired and loved his mother. No matter what she had put him through, no matter how much he thought she hated him...she had been the one who had brought him to this world.
He gently lifted one of her pale, frail hands. Syaoran felt so guilty. He hadn't been here to help her at the time of the heart attack. There must've been much stress on her.
Suddenly, she stirred. Within a few seconds, she had lifted her heavy eyelids and spotted him. To his surprise, her eyes weren't tired at all. They still had immense nobleness lost within them. Just like they always had.
Yelan forced a tired smile upon her face. "Xiao-Lang...You're here."
He nodded and sighed. "I'm sorry, Mother. I'm sorry I wasn't here. I should've been here. I-"
"Hush, my son," she interrupted weakly. "I just haven't been keeping up with my health. The doctor said I should be fine in a couple of days. I'm just..."
"...weak."
His mother smiled again. "That's right."
He shook his head slowly, wondering how she could be so calm at a moment like this. Syaoran leaned down to her, clasping her hand in his lightly. "Mother, you are not the sort of person that should be weak! You're strong! You've always been strong! Not only for yourself, but for all of us." He suddenly felt frustrated with himself. "I should've stayed here in Hong Kong. If I did then you wouldn't be-"
Her arm feebly reached up and touched the side of his face. It made him shut up completely and he stared at her with an aggravated expression. He was so angry at himself for making her go through this. "Look, son. Don't blame yourself." Her dark eyes were flashing. "Don't you dare blame yourself for anything. You did nothing."
Silence followed as Syaoran took in her stern words with an impassive look on his face. He knew what she was implying. She was really saying, "Don't blame yourself for your father's death." Before he could reply, his mother broke the tenseness with a long sigh.
"Xiao-Lang, I've always wanted to tell you that...I'm sorry. I'm sorry for putting you through all that responsibility at a young age. I'm sorry I didn't fight the Elders when they persisted that you train and study everyday. I know of the pain I caused you...but I only wanted you to become a great leader. And it worked..." Her face grew sullen. It was hard to admit that she was wrong, yet she had to do this. She had to finally confront him of how she really felt. "...but I may have lost your love through the circumstances. But that's all right if you hate me. I just want you to know...I don't blame you for your father's death. I never did. And although I do see many traces of him through you, it doesn't sadden me. It brings joy to me that I have a living, daily reminder of him. I never blamed you. And you shouldn't blame yourself."
After her moving speech, Syaoran suddenly felt relieved. His mother never hated him. She had never blamed him. It really was he who was blaming everything on himself. "I know that now, Mother. I think I've always known it. I've been a fool and a coward for trying to bury myself with shame and guilt. The responsibility before me is simply too great. But I've decided that it doesn't matter how hard or how unhappy my life is. I owe it to him. I owe it to Father."
Yelan smiled up at him, marveling just how amazing her son had grown up to be. He was a different man, it seemed. And she knew just who had been the one to change him.
Sakura.
Oh how she longed to thank the girl for instilling hope and love in his heart again.
"I see that you've spoken to him," she whispered. "You've gone to his grave...finally."
"I couldn't keep running forever."
At that, she shook her head sadly. There was something else that was bothering her. Something that her son may regret for the rest of his life. "But my son, I think you are still running...still trying to hide..."
Syaoran suddenly grew stiff. He knew exactly what she was talking about. Or rather...who she was talking about. The mere mention of her brought his senses crashing and his heart pounding with both love and distress.
"You're here in Hong Kong, meaning that you've left Tomoeda, Japan," his mother stated. Her eyes grew stern. "Meaning that you've left the one woman who had meant so much to you? You're running from Sakura-san."
It was a clear fact. He knew it. But hearing it from someone else, especially his mother, made it sound ten times worse. He still felt like a coward, trying to escape one huge obstacle in his life. It was the biggest obstacle he knew he'd ever face. But he just couldn't. He couldn't bring the happiness – the only happiness – back in his life. It was too late. "Mother, I love her. But she...she..."
Yelan watched has her son's face twisted in a mix of anger and sorrow. He was in such an emotional battle and yet she knew she couldn't do anything for him. This was his battle, one that he would choose. He would choose the path of his life from now on. Mother or not, she had no more power over him. She wouldn't repeat what she had done to him when he was only ten. She wouldn't push him any longer. And although she knew that there might be a slight chance that it may ruin his life by picking the wrong path, she knew it was the right thing to do. All she could do was to give him some advice. "Xiao-Lang, love is a very complex emotion. All I can tell you is that listen to what your heart tells you. No matter how idiotic or unreasonable the path may be, it will be the right one as long as you follow your heart."
Follow his heart? It was impossible.
How could he if it was broken?
Back in Japan, Eriol and Tomoyo had paid a little visit on their distressed friend whether Sakura wanted it or not. The usually crazed camera girl was seated on the bed next to a tear stained Sakura who didn't even seem she knew her best friends were there despite the fact that Tomoyo had laid a hand on her shoulder. The amethyst eyed girl sighed in the tense silence and looked to Eriol who was pacing back and forth with Kero on his shoulder. He simply returned the sad look.
What the hell were they supposed to do now?
Tomoyo turned back to Sakura who had a fresh batch of tears running down her face. "Oh, Sakura-chan...don't cry." She gave her usually chirpy friend a hug which she didn't receive back.
Sakura was just sitting there...like an empty vessel.
Eriol and Tomoyo knew this was serious. Sakura had never had this bad a breakdown and the ones that she did have, she would have talked about it. Syaoran's leave had affected her badly. And because their beloved friend was depressed, there was a domino effect. Now everyone around her was just as sad as she was.
"Oh, Syaoran..." Eriol said beneath a sigh. He looked towards the ceiling in exasperation. "Look what you did."
"When was the last time you saw him, Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked gently, patting her back. At first, she was afraid she wouldn't answer but surprisingly, Sakura did respond.
"Yesterday. Before meeting with Yukito-san."
Her raspy, emotionless voice scared everyone in the room.
"Did he know you were going to meet Tsukishiro?" Eriol asked as he took a seat in the chair at the desk.
Sakura stifled a sob and nodded slowly.
Eriol, Tomoyo, and Kero looked at each other silently, all with the same knowing look.
They now knew the real reason he had left. He had been heartbroken.
Syaoran walked straight into his house – really a mansion – and paid no heed to the silent stares from the maids and butlers. He really didn't feel like dealing with them anymore. He didn't even bother telling the rest of his family that he was here. They knew he was already, but they smartly decided to leave him alone. Besides, he was emotionally worn-out from everything he had encountered today, from coming back to Hong Kong, to visiting his father's grave, and to confronting his mother.
Although it was only late afternoon, he wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep and never wake up. He just wanted to forget everything, to not feel anything. Besides, his magic was weakening. All day, he had managed not to let his emotional wall break down despite all the things he had encountered. He had thought it would eventually crack, but amazingly enough, it hadn't.
Sakura still didn't feel anything he felt. And honestly, he didn't know what on earth she was feeling right now either. He knew for certain that she wouldn't have covered her emotions like he had done. She just wasn't like that.
Syaoran entered his old room and for a minute. This room was grand and was even bigger than his apartment back in Tomoeda. But for some reason he began to desperately miss his small room in Japan. He didn't need the fine draperies, the king sized bed, silk sheets, and all the other lavish decorations. He didn't need them at all. His apartment had been great to him, even though he had been lonely.
Loneliness...he remembered back in his first days in Tomoeda. He had been alone and depressed, always thinking of his father as he had always done before. But suddenly, he realized that he wasn't alone. He had friends and family. And although he had still blamed himself for his father's death at the time, he hadn't had the chance to think about it because all he had done was...
...think about Sakura.
He shook his head and collapsed on his huge bed. Closing his amber eyes, he wondered how on earth he was going to go back to work and pretend that nothing was wrong. His visit to the small town of Tomoeda had been an eye opener.
Maybe Eriol's theory had been right. Maybe Syaoran was supposed to be there when the Cards were released. In fact, maybe Syaoran was supposed to be born there, to have a whole different life. He wouldn't be part of the Li Clan and he wouldn't be the chief of his company. He would simply be Syaoran.
His eyes opened in shock as a realization hit him.
Had he just referred to that four-eyed reincarnation...by his first name?
Before he could contemplate about it, the door suddenly burst open, revealing a furious certain cousin of his. Syaoran sat up and gave her a blank look. "Hi, Meiling."
The ruby eyed girl looked at him in both shock and anger. That was all he had to say? She strode towards him and grabbed him by his shirt's collar. "'Hi, Meiling'? 'HI, MEILING'? Don't you 'Hi, Meiling' me! What the hell are you doing here, you bastard! Why aren't you in Japan where you belong?"
Syaoran could barely breathe. "M-Meiling, I-"
"I told you to tell her you love her! Not run away! You idiot!"
"Meiling, wait-"
She shook her head, her eyes burning with flames. "Syaoran, you were happy! Happy! For once in your life, you no longer had to worry about anything! Why did you leave that, hm? You're so stupid! Do you know how much I sacrificed? Do you know just how much I had to tell myself that you and Sakura were meant to be? I gave up my love to make sure you were happy! And now this? Now you run away from it all like a coward-"
Syaoran roughly got out of her hold and silently glared at her. And it scared her. Syaoran had never looked at her like that. "She doesn't love me."
It was such a simple sentence but it immediately shut the girl up. She stared at him wordlessly as it all began to make sense. The pain and anger in his eyes, the way his face simply refused to smile or smirk.
He was heartbroken.
She suddenly felt a great pang of regret. She was so dumb for saying all of that. "Oh, Syaoran...I-I'm sorry...I-"
"It's all right," he replied curtly.
"But it's not," Meiling whispered. "I was wrong... But you still left everything you ever wanted there. You still ran away."
"What was I supposed to do!" Syaoran yelled sharply, making her jump. "Stay there and fucking watch them love each other?"
"Maybe it's a misunderstanding," Meiling said slowly. She had been so sure that Sakura had loved him back. She had given him those looks that had so much feeling in them. Surely they weren't for nothing.
"THERE'S NO MISUNDERSTANDING ABOUT IT!"
The girl flinched at his shout and looked at him in desperation. "Syaoran, maybe you should talk to her. Maybe-"
She stopped in mid-sentence as he gave her the darkest stare she had ever seen.
"You want me to fucking talk to her? Do you enjoy seeing me in pain, Meiling? Get out."
Meiling sighed. "But-"
"Get out!"
She gave him a stern look and headed to the door. But before she had entirely left, she gave him one last look. "Think about it, Syaoran. Whenever Sakura had looked at you, talked about you, was around you...her eyes lit up. And when you smiled, she would return the biggest smile anyone had ever seen. You think that was only because she thought of you as a friend?"
Syaoran simply rolled his eyes, still aggravated by the argument he and his cousin had just had. "That's bullshit. Why the hell would you notice all of that?"
Her eyes softened and became distant yet angry. "B-Because...I used to do all of those things, Syaoran. Of course I'd notice something when someone else did the same."
And with that said, she slammed the door behind her.
"Sakura, do you want some soup?" asked her father as he poked his head in the room. Sakura didn't even give him a glance as she shook her head and he sighed. Fujitaka turned to the others who had been in the room, trying to cheer his daughter up. "Hiiragazawa-san, Daidouji-san, would you like some?"
They both politely refused and the concern father closed the door to leave them in privacy once more. Eriol and Tomoyo had stayed there in Sakura's room all afternoon, desperately trying to talk to her. Yet they still had little progress. Their adored Sakura-chan was simply unreachable.
Eriol ran a hand through his hair as he tried to give Tomoyo a reassuring smile when she looked his way. But he was tired with grief. His love and his friend were both in a state of extreme misery and he could do nothing about it. And he was almost certainly sure that Syaoran was also in the same state. How were they supposed to get through this? It was all a misunderstanding and yet it had gone too far. They needed something, anything, to get their friend out of her depression.
It seemed it would never come.
Suddenly, a joyful little tune broke their trances. It was a cell phone. Sakura's cell phone.
"Where's your phone, Sakura-chan?" Tomoyo asked, trying to find the familiar pink cell. She received a simple shrug.
Kero dug under a pile of clothes and came back with the ringing phone in his paws. He silently gave it to Eriol and he answered with a sigh.
"Moshi moshi?"
A slight pause followed and he thought that the person had hung up. But then a quiet, teary voice was heard. "E-Eriol?"
He raised an eyebrow in confusion. The female voice was familiar. Too familiar. Suddenly he recognized it. "Meiling?"
"Hai. Is Sakura there? I need to talk to her." A stifled sob was heard from the other line.
Eriol looked uncertainly to the two ladies sitting on the bed. Tomoyo looked at him in confusion as Sakura just dazed up into space. "I don't think she's in the state of speaking right now. Gomen."
"Then put me on speaker phone or something! Please, it's important!"
His friend sounded so desperate that he couldn't refuse her. Eriol put her on speaker phone with a push of a button. "Okay. You're on."
A loud sigh was heard followed by a choked out voice. "Sakura. I know you're there listening. I also know that you're not going to answer me but please...just hear me out." Another pause as Meiling tried to regain her composure. "Syaoran didn't want to leave. I'm sure of it. In fact, he's miserable here in Hong Kong. Please, you've gotta help me. I don't want him to suffer anymore. I don't want him to go back to how he used to be before he met you. Hong Kong is no longer his home. Wherever YOU are is. Sakura, he's heartbroken without you. And I'm not sure what the hell happened...but I'm sure what I've heard isn't true. You love him right? You love Li Syaoran, right Sakura?"
A silence came over them as Eriol, Tomoyo, and Kero all awaited Sakura's answer even though they all knew what it was already.
Sakura's eyes softened as she looked down at the ground. "I do."
Meiling had heard it clearly even though it was merely a whisper. "Then please. Help him."
Sakura drew in a breath and closed her eyes. "I can't," she replied. "I love him but..."
"Don't tell me you're afraid, Sakura. You've been through many things. Capturing the Cards, transforming them. Besides, he needs you. And you need him."
"But Meiling-"
"No!" the Chinese girl interrupted. "No more buts. I've tried to give him happiness before. I really did. But I found that I can't. The only one who can is you!" Meiling's voice grew louder, more confident. The teary voice suddenly disappeared in a fit of determination to get the two soul mates back together. "So I gave up my love for him! Even though it tore my heart out, I gave up. For you, Sakura. You and Syaoran were meant to be together. Why do you think you're 'bonded?' Eriol, Tomoyo, and I all know it. That 'connection' between you two proves that you guys are soul mates. Sakura, he loves you." The volume of her voice lessened as she sighed. She was openly crying now. Everyone knew it by the way her voice continuously wobbled. "Don't go against your fate, Sakura."
Silence overcame all of them as Meiling desperately tried to calm her tears. They were all looking curiously at Sakura who still was dazing into the air blankly. It seemed that she hadn't heard anything that Meiling had said. But they knew better. They knew that deep inside Sakura was contemplating about what Meiling had said...
...hopefully.
Another sigh was heard from the phone. "W-Well...I know I'm not going to get a response so I'll go. But think about what I said." At that, Meiling forced a happy tone to be present in her voice. "T-Talk to you guys later, okay? Ja."
Click. Seeing that she had hung up, Eriol ended the call on the cell. Unfortunately, the silence was still present between everyone. And it wasn't going to end any time soon unless Sakura said something first.
Amazingly enough, she did.
"Guys...thanks for being here but...do you think I could be alone for awhile?"
It wasn't what Tomoyo and Eriol had wanted to hear but they knew they should let her think about it for awhile. Maybe it would do her good.
The two nodded as they gave her quick smiles and headed to the door. When they had closed the bedroom door behind them, Tomoyo suddenly buried her head in Eriol's shirt, crying silently. He, in turn, immediately wrapped his arms around her, trying to comfort the girl.
"I-I miss her, Eriol. I miss Sakura-chan. The real Sakura-chan. I miss Li- kun, too," she said, her voice muffled by his shirt.
Eriol closed his eyes and sighed. "I do too, Tomoyo."
Syaoran sat limply on top of his bed as the sky darkened around him. Yet he didn't get up to turn on the lights. He was too...oh he didn't even know anymore! There were so many things...so many feelings.
And they were here to stay for the rest of his miserable life.
He needed to see her. Desperately. He needed to talk to her, hear her voice, see her beautiful smile.
Goddamn it. He needed her. Period.
But as much as he wanted to see her, there was a larger part of him that knew that if he did, his heart would just break all over again. Her smiles weren't for him. Her love wasn't for him. She wasn't for him.
But oh how he wished she was.
Closing his eyes, a sudden, recent memory took over him.
"Otou-san said that whenever I feel a breeze that it's okaa-san talking to me." Her giggles reached his ears. "And I know I sound crazy but sometimes when I need to talk to someone, whether it be Tomoyo, or Eriol, or otou-san, or okaa-san but they're not there, I say it to the air. Onii-chan always said that the person will hear you no matter what. He said that whenever I needed him, I should just say it to the wind and he'll come running," She paused and turned red. "Oh wow, I'm sorry," she said, laughing.
Syaoran shook his head with a smile on his face. "I think you're brother's right, actually. They say that as long as you say it with your heart, the person you want to talk to will hear you."
Sakura grinned. "So that means that I could talk to you anytime, doesn't it?"
"Of course."
She was just so...innocent. God, he loved her.
Despite the situation, a slight smile came to his lips. Say it to the air and she'll hear, eh? Will she come running?
Closing his eyes, he said the following words with as much emotion as he could ever muster:
"I miss you, Sakura."
Lying on her bed in the dark, Sakura was still shaken from what Meiling had said a couple of hours before. Was it true? Did the 'connection' with Syaoran have to do with them...loving each other? Did Meiling really give up her love for them to be together? And most of all...was what Meiling said true?
Did Syaoran really love her?
Sakura knew that Meiling definitely didn't sound like she was lying. But it was hard to believe. The thought made her ecstatic with happiness, but it was still hard to believe.
Could it possibly be true? If it was, Sakura wondered just how long he had...loved her. How blind had she been to everything?
...Did this mean that if she could tell him how she felt...they'd be...?
Suddenly, an almost inaudible whisper was heard through her sensitive ears.
"I miss you, Sakura."
Sakura couldn't believe it. It had sounded just like...
A genuine smile found its way to her face. He had remembered their encounter in the park yesterday. She had told him about her silly belief that if you whisper something into the air, the person you're speaking to will hear you.
Now she had to go run to him. She had to answer his call.
...And that was exactly what she was going to do.
She had made up her mind. She'd go to Hong Kong. She'd sort this whole thing out and clear the misunderstanding. She no longer cared if they were in two separate worlds and if they seemed like two completely different people. Sakura loved Li Syaoran and she was going to tell him.
Besides...she simply wanted to see him. One day without him was enough. She wasn't planning on having this depression continue.