Author's Note: Oh, the flatteryyy… I can't tell you all how much your reviews meant to me. Haha, and like you all, I am ALSO getting really entangled in the story. And to pass the time (until episode 133 comes out) I decided to write chapter 5 of this humorous love story.

So, without further ado….

Chapter 5.

Zarrah-chan

Chapter 5

The minute Sakura spun around, her heart disintegrated in fear. It was as if she were watching a replay of a horror movie all over again.

She had seen those eyes only once before. But it only took one time for the image to painfully sear itself into her head.

The jade eyes, outlined in heavy black, reflected her own eyes, blanketed in terror. The red, messy mop of hair complimented the tattoo above his left brow, deciphering into the word 'love'. Though, it wasn't the kind of love most would believe. Naruto once told her that the kanji character meant his love of death and destruction. The person standing before her had only been regarded as a monster…

…And now she'd be marrying one.

Sakura said nothing and gaped at him for what seemed to be hours.

No, it wasn't possible! How could anyone ever elect such a man to be Kazekage? And how could her beloved parents ever have agreed to her betrothal to him?

The kunoichi tried shaking off the judge-mental thoughts. Get a hold of yourself, girl. She scolded. You're not shallow.

She remembered her young days as a twelve year old genin and how shallow she used to be. Her foolish days, she recalled, the days she chased around the Uchiha boy.

It was a childish way of thinking, really. But her infatuation with Sasuke taught her that it really was the inside of someone that mattered most, as cliché as that sounded.

Sakura tried looking at the Kazekage in that light, but for some reason, it seemed impossible. After all, she'd nearly been slaughtered by his horrendous claw of sand in her attempts to protect the former love of her life. How was it possible for someone so set on destruction, to turn a new corner?

…But then again, how was it possible for someone so set on content to revert to a vengeance-hungry bastard?

Point taken. Sakura thought. Maybe I'll give him a try.

The kunoichi swallowed hard before standing up to meet his eye level.

"Honored to be in your presence, Kazekage-sama." She bowed, wincing with each word.

Any moment now, he's going to reach out his claw and swallow me in his sand vortex of doom… she exhaled. Any time now.

To her greatest surprise (and relief), the man did no such thing.

Instead, he took her hand.

Sakura jerked and almost retracted her hand, as if touching fire. However, one glance at the proud look her parents wore, forced her to keep the interaction with the man.

When he brought the back of her hand near his mouth, Sakura gritted her teeth.

Great… He won't suffocate me in sand…He'll just gnaw off bits and pieces of my flesh, one by one…

Again, no such ridiculous figments of her imagination came to life. On the contrary, the kunoichi felt a delicate peck on her hand.

Gaara of the Desert…had just kissed her hand?

"Delighted." He said, completely emotionless. He bowed and then straightened his sash, signaling a notion of respect for both Tsunade and the Haruno couple. His face was stoic, and anything but happy, however, it was clearly not the same as her recollection of their last encounter, nearly six years ago. Gaara of the desert, for once, did not look like a monster.

In a way, Sakura was thrilled. On the other hand, she frowned. He doesn't remember me?

For a long while, the young fiancées exchanged glances. The silent conversation of their eyes was unclear, but Sakura could tell that he did not want to be there any more than she. In that, she was a bit relieved.

Maybe there was hope of true love for her after all…

"When did you arrive?" Mrs. Haruno spoke, breaking the two from their staring contest. Gaara turned his head slowly to face his future mother-in-law.

"An hour ago." Came his monotone reply.

Sakura's mom nodded and smiled, petting the flower like a family dog.

It was still for a moment, before anyone stirred or made motions to get up. The tension in the atmosphere was thick enough to cut with a kunai, and Sakura felt her cheeks slowly growing red. She felt like her parents were setting her up for a blind date and it was turning out to be more than a nightmare.

This, however, was a bit more permanent than a simple first date, and in that, Sakura felt even more like a wreck.

Thankfully, Gaara decided to be the one to break the silence.

"If the Harunos approve, I would like to request a private meeting with the Hokage, in correspondence to country matters." He said, rather respectfully. Gaara bowed, and patiently waited for their response.

Mr. and Mrs. Haruno glanced at one another, and then nodded in unison.

"Of course, Kazekage-sama. We realize you are a busy man. We apologize for any inconvenience we have caused you. We'll gladly continue the wedding preparations later." Mr. Haruno spoke, for the first time that night. To Sakura, her father seemed quite pleased at the match, and ignored any vibes of tension that had surfaced. If they had any idea how Gaara was like before, no amount of arguing would convince both of them to continue with the arrangement. But judging at how happy her parents seemed, Sakura didn't want to ignite any feelings of unnecessary panic. It would cause too much attention to be drawn to her, and that was the LAST thing she wanted. It was bad enough being engaged to the shinobi rumored to have housed a deadly monster in him, it was WORSE that all of Konoha would know about it.

Before the Kages left for another private room, Gaara gave the pink-haired kunoichi a long stare. Then, bowing to the Harunos, they both disappeared.

Sakura was stunned for a split second, unable to identify the meaning of his look. Was it a threat, or a simple acknowledgment of their future together? Either way, she could not ignore the loud thumping in her chest. She was scared and at the same time… proud? Haruno Sakura would be on the arm of one of the most powerful men in the world. It gave her a sense of comfort knowing that she'd be well-protected.

Or, it could have been the opposite. She could be in greater danger than any mission. This WAS the man who managed to knock out Sasuke cold.

Now, Sakura couldn't tell which she felt more. Fear, or empowerment. This wedding would drive her insane. She wasn't ready for this. She was only eighteen and at the prime of her jounin years! She couldn't imagine settling down with a man who NEVER smiled, laughed, or shown any emotion besides grumpiness for that matter. She was a polar opposite to him. She needed to be shown affection now and then. She needed to know that SHE was needed.

Sakura sighed remembering the Uchiha. It never occurred to her why she ever felt anything for him. He was exactly the same as Gaara. He walked like Gaara, Talked like Gaara, wore the same face as Gaara. Those two were TWIN ICE PRINCES.

Perhaps, Sakura liked the Uchiha because of the fact that Sasuke was the most desired boy of all Konoha. Fantasizing about winning him over in front of all the girls brought much victory to Sakura, knowing that she wasn't exactly the most talented, most gorgeous kunoichi out there. She realized in time that she was only infatuated with him. Nothing more.

She once thought she loved him, but thinking back, she knew she was just a silly love-sick school girl. After all, her parents had an arranged marriage, so true love was rarely shown in their household. Sakura was just making up for what was lacking at home. And that was romance.

She never really loved Sasuke. In fact, she barely ever knew him. Just like Gaara.

No, Gaara was far more respectful than the vengeful traitor. Granted, Gaara once had the same intent to kill as Sasuke, but if Tsunade could trust him now, Sakura couldn't find any reason not to.

Sakura bit her lip.

As much as she'd like to trust him, she still wasn't ready to be married to him. She wanted to find love the RIGHT way, the way she'd seen so many times before. She wanted to meet someone, fall in GENUINE love, get married, settle down and have children. Being forcefully engaged just defeated the whole journey experience.

Ahh……

Gaara was not her match, but what was the girl to do? Her parents counted on her… And they rarely ever did. They wanted her to be a teacher, shop-keeper, or political diplomat. Sakura had chosen neither. She had chosen to be a ninja at their greatest disappointment. She could not let them down. This was far too important.

Sakura watched as her father got up and fixed his shirt. He marched over to the exit and cleared his throat before leaving.

"I know this is not the easiest thing for you. But please know that I am very proud of you."

He exhaled and then vanished behind the swinging wooden doors.

Sakura's heart pounded through her chest. Her father NEVER said those words. Which could only mean that this time, he was actually speaking the truth. No way could she back out now.

This was permanent.

Breathe, girl. She told herself. Red-head kids won't look too bad…

Ahh, who was she kidding. She was DOOMED.

Mrs. Haruno sensed her daughter's turmoil and inwardly pleaded for something to do for her. If anyone could understand the girl's heart-ache, it was her mother. She, herself, had been arranged in an unwanted marriage. It was terribly painful.

Mrs. Haruno marched up to her daughter and swallowed her in a loving embrace.

"You'll learn to love him." She spoke in a motherly tone. "I did."

Sakura eyes teared up but she refused to let herself cry. Her mother was such a brave woman. Kunoichi or not, Sakura's mother was courageous enough to go through with the plans. How could she argue with that?

Mrs. Haruno absently stroked her daughter's pink hair. She felt a few drops fall on her bear shoulders and knew that her daughter was crying. It was complete torture letting her go through this… so unexpectedly. The poor tragic girl…

Sakura's mother drew closer to her daughter's ear. Even if it wasn't much hope, she could provide the girl with SOMETHING to look forward to.

"There are only two ways the arrangement can be legally broken off." Mrs. Haruno said, trailing off.

Emerald eyes flew open. Keep going…God, please keep going.

"One, if he backs out."

Sakura's heart sank. Would Gaara back out of it? It was plausible, but at the same time highly unlikely.

Second one…What about the second one?

"Two," her mother continued, "If the man you WISH to marry makes another trade with Gaara, before your wedding day."

Sakura froze as her mother gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"The wedding's in seventeen days. There isn't much time, but love CAN still happen." She hinted before heading in the same direction as her husband. Turning around, she took another look at her daughter and brought a finger to her lips. Sakura knew this signal. This was to be kept a secret.

Mrs. Haruno opened the door and exited, as Sakura was left in solitude, quickly pondering with her intellectual mind.

A bit over two weeks.

She needed to hurry.

Neji was awake before the sun had even a chance to surface from the horizon line. Already, the Hyuuga had managed to complete a full work out before he would report to his duties as an ANBU trainee that morning.

It had taken him four fidgeting hours to obtain only forty minutes of sleep, and after countless times trying, he finally gave up and decided to exercise. Why the man was so restless, even he had no idea.

Perhaps it was the horrific fact that every time he shut his eyes, the vivid image of Haruno Sakura in a wedding kimono would haunt and torment his genius mind. Ahh, the girl would undoubtedly ring his neck upon discovering his series of lies. He'd seen her wrath often poured out upon Uzumaki Naruto, and it wasn't a pretty sight. Sakura definitely had every right to strangle him…

And she would. In a flash.

Not that he could blame her. He'd strangle himself to death, if only he had not sworn to learn the succession technique before surrendering to the grave. What a hopeless predicament he'd managed to get himself into… All on his own.

Neji could not understand what it was exactly that compelled him to say such appalling fibs.

Hyuuga Neji? Engaged to the weak and insignificant Haruno Sakura? It was absolutely ridiculous! Outrageous! Impossible!

…And yet he had told that exact lie.

Kuso.

His uncle was going to butcher him alive. He was doomed to cower at the powerful fist of Hyuuga Hiashi, the only man capable of beating him into a mess of chakra. How in the world was he going to escape this?

The massive web of lies he would have to spin was endless. It was true. Lies were like Pringles. Once you popped… it was absolutely impossible to stop. Utter stupidity had some how managed to chew a hole through his Byaakugan blind spot, and nestle eggs in his brain.

BAKA! His mind screamed.

Neji was hell pissed.

But it wasn't due to the fact that his uncle would kill him when the lie was unveiled. Nor was it the fact that SAKURA would kill him upon her own discovery.

What was it, then, that drove the Hyuuga absolutely insane?

Simple.

The more the Hyuuga thought about it, the more he felt that Sakura was his best bet. And that drove him MADD.

Don't get him wrong, Neji had ZERO romantic feelings for the girl. Heck, she was the LAST girl he'd ask to marry (with the exception of Ino). He barely knew her.

The thing was, she WAS the last girl. All the other females had been engaged in a romantic relationship with one of his shinobi comrades. Of all the rumors Neji had heard, Sakura still had not even settled down with so much as a boyfriend yet. And as impossible as that seemed, it was true. The Hyuuga couldn't figure out why, though. He'd bite his own tongue off before admitting this out loud, but he thought the kunoichi was rather pretty. She was a simple kind of beauty, the kind he preferred over extravagant make-up beauty that washed away in tears or rain. Neji had even heard that she was one of the most requested nurses upon the male population in Konoha hospital, due to the fact that she was young, light-skinned, curvy, and very attractive. He'd figured there'd be at LEAST fifty guys lined around the block for her. Even his own teammate, Lee had fallen under her spell. Why hadn't the green beast at least beg for date with the kunoichi? Was he that shy?

Then Neji remembered that his comrade would EXTERMINATE him if he ever found out about his little lie. HIS Sakura? Engaged to HIS best friend? The bushy-browed boy would keel over and die at the news.

But Neji didn't WANT to marry her…

…He just wanted her to pretend.

Yes. That was his 'brilliant' plan. Completely idiotic.

Neji had the intellect of a full certified ANBU, and a strategic mind parallel to even the great Shikamaru…

…And yet THIS was the best plan he could think of at the moment.

This whole marriage thing was slowly ripping Neji apart. He wanted an easier escape rope, but knew there would be none. He'd have to get out of this on his own.

Neji got up and dusted off his pants. He'd have to ask the girl if she could pretend for a while. Just to buy him enough time to learn the succession technique. Then, he could "break up" with her and say that it wasn't meant to be. Even his uncle would understand and relate with fate and destiny.

As much as Neji hoped it would be simple, he knew very well that it was not. Even the first step was not guaranteed. He wasn't sure how Sakura would take the news. Her first reaction would be predictable. She'd absolutely refuse and be angry at Neji for using her. Then, Neji would be completely screwed.

Ahh well. He had no choice now. He was screwed anyway. No loss in trying.

Neji walked over to a low tree, where his white towel hung, and wiped the perspiration off his muscular body. He normally NEVER indecently paraded the forests of Konoha completely shirtless, but he couldn't help it. Even with the low temperature of dawn, the summer humidity was suffocating. The thought of sweating buckets under robes of garments did not seem so appealing to him. Besides, barely anyone was awake yet. No one would catch him half naked.

Neji cringed as he slid on his household tunic and tied the belt around his rock solid abdomen, feeling icky. As much as he'd like to run home without his shirt, the route home was through Konoha streets, and he could not risk being seen bear-chested. It would cause too much controversy in his household that he was currently not in the mood of hearing.

Looking at the rising sun, Neji calculated half an hour until he would be called to his ANBU training. He had just enough time to return home for a quick shower and a change of clothes. On the way, he could rehearse the words he would use to ask Sakura's cooperation. At that thought, the Hyuuga sighed.

Yare Yare. How complicated life has gotten.

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Neji could have sworn he had something on his face.

A spec. A bug. A pimple…

…A BOOGER?

Why the hell do they keep staring at me? His genius mind demanded in growing irritation, as he briskly walked by the shops on Konoha streets. His proud character began to slowly deteriorate at the awkwardness of the people's looks. Almost everyone had stopped what they were doing just to gape at the passing Hyuuga.

Neji shoved his hands into his sleeves, unable to spot what it was they were staring at. Had he somehow unknowingly passed by a tree branch that snagged his pants, ripping them off while he paraded around like a pantless wonder?

The Hyuuga looked down and inwardly let out a sigh of relief.

The pants were still in tact.

WHAT THEN WERE THEY FRICKEN STARING AT?

Neji's thoughts were disrupted by a firm punch on the back, and he instantly recognized the reckless being.

"OY! NEJI!" came Naruto's loud and over-energetic call. Neji groaned. It was too early for this.

"What do you want?" he hissed, never failing to let it be known that he was immensely irritated. The fox boy, however did not pick up any signals. He shamelessly locked Neji's head into his curled arm and smothered him with noogies.

Neji immediately pulled away.

"Dammit, what the hell's wrong with you?"

Naruto snickered and quickly backed off. Rubbing his nose in a casual manner, he chuckled.

"You little hot-shot, you…Always gotta be number one in EVERYTHING." he deviously smiled before giving another breathtaking punch. "I just came to congratulate you!"

Neji rubbed his arm, silently hoping that his face did not reveal any pain. As much as he hated to admit it, the punch hurt.

"What are you talking about?" the Hyuuga asked, brushing off the stinging of the hit. It was far too early to even attempt to decode the blonde's useless babblings. The boy made absolutely NO sense at times.

Naruto waved a hand in front of his face, still grinning his trademark whiskered smile.

"Ahh, don't even TRY to pretend. Almost ALL of Konoha's talking about it. It's the biggest buzz on the streets." He rambled, completely loosing the Hyuuga. Neji hadn't a clue what the boy was talking about. He crunched his eyebrows together in confusion and annoyance.

"Konoha?" he asked, dumbfounded.

Naruto smacked Neji on the back and roared in laughter.

"You're totally slow today, Neji? You sure you're alright?" the boy questioned, squinting his eyes. He pulled back and belched out another deafening laugh, poking at Neji's arm. "NYA-HA! You can't think straight because you're totally HEAD OVER HEELS IN LOVE! So. Who's the unlucky girl?"

Neji completely froze at his words, eyes wide, blood running cold.

WHAT THE BLOODY HELL!

Without thinking twice, the Hyuuga grabbed Naruto's collar.

"WHAT exactly is Konoha buzzing about!" he exclaimed, teeth clenching.

This was not happening… This was NOT happening…

Naruto rubbed his nose again.

"SOMEONE'S touchy. DUH, Hyuuga! Your wedding? It's the talk of the village. You're finally getting hitched, huh? In two weeks too." He said matter-of-factly. "Soooo? Who did the cold, heartless bastard finally fall in love with?"

Naruto's taunting childish giggle was lost to Neji, along with all background sights and sounds. His head spun in sickening circles and he felt he was going to pass out. He knew Konoha was a friendly sharing village, but he never knew just how sharing they were! It had only been a day! EVERYONE knew of his supposed marriage?

Neji immediately traced the source of the disaster to his uncle. His uncle was responsible for this! Neji was happy that Hiashi had spared his life, but he didn't realize his uncle was actually PROUD of the match! Proud enough to announce it to the whole fricken village?

Holy freaking crap.

The Hyuuga immediately forgot about the fox boy and dropped him like a fly. He spun chakra into the soles of his feet and ran as fast as they could carry him, leaving Naruto in a flabbergasted state, unable to identify what just happened. In mere seconds, he was nearing his family mansion.

Oh, his uncle would have a lot of explaining to do.

A LOT of explaining.

Author's Note: Yes, I again apologize for the delay and for the shortness of this chapter. It really is MUCH longer but I thought it wouldn't be so good on the eyes, so I decided to divide it into two chapters, instead of one. I should be finishing the next one soon, and I would again like to request for patience. I'm terribly sorry if I disappointed you in this chapter by not revealing much, but things will unravel soon enough, I assure.

Thank you, my little duckies, and PLEASE review!

It'll help with the writer's block that is attempting to suck me into his vortex of doom.

"BACK OFF, MONSTER! I HAVE A PEN AND I KNOW HOW TO USE IT!"

Hahaha. That's all for now.

Ja mata!