Disclaimer: I don't own Eragon, So don't sue me, please.
Notes: This is aboutEragon's family before Eragon left on his adventure and before (and after his aunt died) I hope you enjoy!
"How did she die?"
That is a question that has always haunted me, I always sit by the farm wondering the same question over and over in my head.
"Why did she leave me?"
Roran does not seem to remember it either, and Garrow won't talk about it at all to me, he just says, don't talk about that, in an exasperated tone, but one time, when I was alone with my auntie Marian, she talked to me.
"She left you to protect you and to keep you safe from herself." My Aunt told me, she held me in her arms and I looked up into her warm smiling face, but somehow it seemed to be missing happiness "To protect you."
I paused for a moment and then asked, "Why would she protect me, from herself?" I bit my lip for a moment and then I felt warm tears beginning to form in my eyes, "Was she bad?" I asked trying not to wipe the tears beginning to trickle down my face.
She smiled again and then said, "Here, take this, you are crying." She gave me a small brown cloth and dabbed my eyes with it, my attempt at not crying was useless. "I do not think she was bad, I just think she thought of your safety, she would not want you to die, even at the cost of her own life." The tears began to form once again, and she dabbed at my eyes again.
After I stopped crying, I asked another question, "How did she die?" Marian paused, and did not speak for a long time.
"Oh, dear, oh dear dear dear." She spoke softly.
"How?"
"She left when you were born, she stayed just long enough to give birth, name you, feed you, and pack- then she left, she ran away, like she was running from the inevitable, then she was gone. She ran to the spine, northeast, I think." Marian looked sad remembering these events, she didn't want to remember her last hours with Selena.
"The Spine?" I asked, why would she go there?"
Marian looked at me and smiled, "Do you ever run out of questions Eragon?"
"Why?"
She frowned and said, "No, you don't." She sighed and then said, "I do not know I only know that she ran northeast into the spine, I do not even know if she died."
I paused and then said "My father?"
She looked down on me with a pained expression. "I am sorry, but I know nothing about your father." I held my head into her chest and put my arms around her, she put her arms around me and rocked me as she chanted "ahh… it's all right, dear, it's all right." I began to cry again, I knew practically nothing about my parents, I buried myself in to her hug, and I did not think about anything for several minutes.
I noticed something for the first time, when I was on her lap, I felt something, deep down in her chest. "Your heart is beating." I said, my voice muffled, for it was still buried in her chest. I heard her voice say 'Yes Eragon, it is.'
I lifted my head out of her hug and asked her, "What would happen if it stopped?" I waited, patiently for the answer.
"Then I would stop."
"What?"
There was a shock and a fear in my head as I heard her say it, her, die? It was impossible, I thought my aunt would be around forever! How could she even think of the possibility of dieing? "I don't want you to die," I sobbed, the tears coming once again. "I don't want you to leave me."
She held me and said softly, "Eragon, I will never leave you, and I will not die for a long, long time, I will always be here for you, even when you become a man, and you travel the world, I will still be in this cottage, sitting on the porch, waiting for you, with a warm meal inside. I promise."
My body felt warm and my felt light when I heard these words, they were so comforting, knowing that a loved one will be alive for a long time, it sort of gives you hope and dreams that the person will always be there for you, I knew everyone had to die, but at least Aunt Marian promised to be there for me, even if she was still one hundred years old.
Six weeks after this, she died.
I never thought she would die so young, after I thought she would always be there, for me. The day she died, I was filled with a mix of emotions and thoughts, before and after. Pain, sadness, anger, guilt, jealousy, and most of all fear.
Before she died, Roran and I were waiting in the kitchen, he was dead silent, unmoving, he looked like a statue that just sat there, looking into space, I on the other hand, did not move to much but I was filled with excitement and anxiety.
She is dying?
Dying?
How?
I thought she would live…
She is so young….
Why?
The other children in Carvahall have their mother…
Why Me?
Why Me…
When Arrow came out of the room, He looked very gaunt and sad. I looked up at him, Roran didn't move a muscle When he didn't move, I asked Garrow, "Is she….-" The look on his face said it all, she had died, a feeling of hopelessness and despair washed over me, and I started to cry. No… no… It couldn't be… It couldn't! She would always be there for me. Always! I closed my eyes and said, "No…. it can't be real, she… SHE'S NOT DEAD!"
Garrow looked at me, and sighed, "Eragon, she is… I didn't want it to happen, but it did, we must learn to carry on, some day, I will die, and someday Roran will die, and then…. You. Everyone dies, it is a natural part of life and earth, and we must learn to carry on…" He was kneeling , his hands on my shoulders and tears were beginning to form in his eyes, the woman he loved for ten years, was gone.. Tears wear already pouring down my face, and I could hear Roran sobbing.
I put my arm on his arm and I said for comfort, "At least we still have you, I just don't know how we could carry on with out her." I paused, and then with a bit of macabre humor I added "You can't cook a thing."
Garrow smiled, wiping away a tear that had escaped his eye. "Life is filled with burdens Eragon, and this is just one of them, and like all burdens, it will fade with the passing of time, and at the same time, more will be put on our backs, but we will still carry on."
"Can I go see her" I said between sobs.
Garrow looked uneasy, and finally he said yes. He offered to Roran but Roran wouldn't budge. He walked with me to her room. "I must warn you Eragon, she will not look like the Marian we knew, she will look quite different." He said, opening the door.
"I can handle it." I responded, walking into the room. Then I gasped at the sight of her.
She looked very different, like Garrow said, her hair was spread out over the pillow, tangled and knotted, her face looked swollen, blue and puffy, she was as pale as a ghost, but other than that, it looked like she was sleeping. I gaped at sight of her for a minute, then fell on my knees and began to sob into her bed. Then I realized, it was my sixth birthday today, I completely forgot about it.
A month before, auntie Marian came down with an illness, Gertrude came, and said there was nothing you could do, only wait until she died or got better, sadly she did not get better, she got worse. A fortnight before, auntie Marian went into a coma, and Gertrude came again, and said the only thing you could do was make her comfortable, and wait for it. Wait for the end.
No one knows what she came down with, it is a mystery still wondered today in Carvahall and Palancar valley. Healers from rich cities came, and studied what illness she got that was incurable, but still, no one knows.
I don't think the three of us thought that the toughest part was still to come, the first few days we really did not believe she could be gone, but when the burial came, we felt another pang of sadness, seeing our mother, aunt, and wife, be buried, when it looked like she was sleeping. After the burial, It did not hit us for another day or so, but then one morning I woke up and realized, She will never come back, I will never talk to her again, she… she is really gone…
I walked out of the cottage in a daze, I felt like I didn't know where I was going, and before I knew it, I was sitting beside Roran.
"Hullo, Roran."
"Hi," He spoke, his voice cracking.
"It seems hard to believe that she is really gone," I spoke absent mindedly, not knowing who I was talking to, Roran was very sensitive about this subject.
"Of course it does, she was my mother, I was her son, I am surprised you think that way to, you are only my cousin!" He yelled icily, it seemed as though he didn't think about what he was saying either. After a moment or two after this outburst, he looked down and said "I am sorry Eragon, It- it really has affected me, and I am glad you are my cousin, I don't remember a time when you were not here, and I don't think I could handle her death if you were not here."
I was shocked at his outburst, then when he apologized I said "Someday we will talk to her, I don't know how, but we will."
"I hope nothing ever separates us."
"Me too."
I spoke these last few words looking out into the spine. Some day I will talk to Auntie Marian again, and I will know what happened to my mother, or what happened to my father. I paused, smiling but until then, I am happy living here, in Palancar valley with My father Garrow, and my brother Roran.