Ok, as those of you with Author Alert (probably none, but I'll say it
anyway), you probably noticed that I updated a lot, and that it was to
previous chapters. Nothing has changed as far as the plot goes; I just got
sick of the errors I had made that were evident to me. This chapter is a
new one though. I hope you like it. R&R.
I don't own nuttin.
*~*
(I was a Death Eater.)
"As you already know, I half became one strictly out of fear, but I suppose there was more to it than that. Yes Hermione, my dear, it was more than just cowardice that drove your old man to the Death Eaters.
You see, I had never really liked James Potter and his gang. Come to think of it, at that time, James was the one I disliked the most. Perhaps he was the one who drove me to go to the dark side. No. Forget I wrote that. That would be making excuses that didn't exist. It was I who chose to join them, and it is I who deserve the fault.
Hermione, it's sad for me to say, and ironic of me to say, that the main cause of me turning to the Dark Lord was because of love.
You must understand that love can make a person to do marvelous, wonderful, kind, and caring things. But love can also drive a person to despise, destroy, hate, and many other horrible things. I must admit to you now though, that love only brings horrible things when it is not returned, and the person of whom it is not returned to, is not strong enough to cope with rejection.
I wasn't strong enough.
Let me tell you the whole story.
I had been in love with Lilly Evens ever since she had started going to Hogwarts. What can I say? She was beautiful with long flowing red hair and the deepest green eyes anyone could ever hope to gaze into. And that's not to speak of her intelligence. She was mesmerizing in the way she could talk, because she knew everything, about everything, and was always at the top of the class. She was everything a guy could ask for and more."
Ron paused for a second, totally encompassed in disbelief. He looked at Hermione who was looking equally shocked and surprised. Neither had ever expected her father to have been in love with Harry's mom, and hearing it now, from a letter written by Hermione's dad extremely overwhelming. As the words sank into Ron, he began to realize that his own emotions and feelings for Hermione were strikingly similar to those felt by her father, toward Harry's mother.
*And bloody hell, * Ron thought, *Harry's mum even sounds like Hermione. * Shaking his head at the thought, Ron hastily began reading again.
"Yes Hermione, I know what you're thinking. How could I claim to have been in love with Lilly Evens and then marry your mother, claiming the same thing for her? Truth be told, I love, loved, both of them. I didn't know your mother back then though.
Lilly was my first love. I watched her from afar, longing to tell her so, and to have her love me in return. I eventually got the courage to tell her. And I did. At her graduation from Hogwarts. Yes, yes, I know I was no longer at school, but you can return once you leave. Little did I know, she had started dating Potter at the beginning of the year after I left. She was dating him at the graduation as well, but I managed to wiggle her away, for a time at any rate.
I went up to her, and Potter, and asked if I could have a private word with her. Potter was reluctant at first to let her leave his presence, but she told him how she knew me and that she'd be right back. But before she left, she kissed Potter, and I knew what they had become, though I had to know what she felt for me, so I dragged her away from his clutches to the entrance hall.
Once we were alone, I spilled everything. And all she did was stare at me. At the time, all I could think was that she was laughing at me. Laughing at how foolish I was to have ever fallen in love with her. Laughing at how I could have ever thought she would return the feelings to a guy like me.
Rage shot through me. Nobody laughed at me.
But, before I go on, Hermione dear, let it be known that I regret what I did next, and will regret it forever, and that I am truly, truly sorry.
I slapped her, hard enough to knock her off her feet."
Ron paused again, looking away from the paper toward Hermione who had just let out a gasp.
"How could he?" Hermione asked, horror reflecting in her eyes. "How could he?"
Ron didn't know how to answer. He could only imagine how hard this was for Hermione. Seeking escape from her penetrating, answer-seeking gaze, Ron became once more immersed in the letter.
"-knock her off her feet. All I can remember is the feeling regret for what I had done. I went to pick her up, to tell her I was sorry, that I would never do that again, but when I reached for her, she shrank away from me. I told her I was sorry, and again went to help her up, but she slapped my hand away. Rage sparked again. I was trying to be plessent to her now, I was trying to make up for what I had done, and all she could do was look upon me with hate and fear. I went toward her again, this time, not intent on helping her. No. I wanted to hurt her. To get her back for all the pain she had caused me.
But before I could reach her, the doors we had exited through just a little earlier, were thrown open by none other than that Potter she loved so much. He looked at Lilly, concern etched in his face, and then he looked at me. He was angry, no, beyond angry. Potter told me to leave, he told me to leave Lilly alone, he told me to never even look at her, because if I did, he would hunt me down, and. Well I don't really know what else, because Lilly had gotten up by then an placed a hand on his shoulder, but one can assume what Potter would have done. And I knew he was more than capable of hurting me, of killing me, he had always been stronger than me, even with the age difference.
A little before a month's time had passed, I met your mother Hermione, about a month after that, we became wed, and a few weeks after that, we were expecting a baby, you, Hermione.
But I still remembered my love for Lilly, and the revenge I knew I would have on Potter. The revenge I knew I had to have on Potter. That's when I became a Death Eater. Yes my dear, even with all of the wonderful things happening in my life at the time, I couldn't let my love for Lilly, and my hatred for Potter go.
I became distant with your mother. She never knew where I was at, and I know she had to have been worried. That didn't matter to me. Nothing mattered to me. I became consumed with my hate for Potter, the revenge I wanted to seek on him, and the power the Dark Lord promised his followers and me.
Over time, the Dark Lord began to trust me more and more. He confided in me, telling me his plans, ambitions, and dreams. He told me how he wanted, and needed to find the Potters. He told me that he needed help, my help. I was eager to please, and eager to avenge the wrongs that had been done against me.
I began to plot."
*~*
What a fine place to stop. Just kidding. I'll probably update with short succession to this chapter. But I want to see what you think so far, and if there's less fluff, and more fact to this chapter.
R&R Please (
I don't own nuttin.
*~*
(I was a Death Eater.)
"As you already know, I half became one strictly out of fear, but I suppose there was more to it than that. Yes Hermione, my dear, it was more than just cowardice that drove your old man to the Death Eaters.
You see, I had never really liked James Potter and his gang. Come to think of it, at that time, James was the one I disliked the most. Perhaps he was the one who drove me to go to the dark side. No. Forget I wrote that. That would be making excuses that didn't exist. It was I who chose to join them, and it is I who deserve the fault.
Hermione, it's sad for me to say, and ironic of me to say, that the main cause of me turning to the Dark Lord was because of love.
You must understand that love can make a person to do marvelous, wonderful, kind, and caring things. But love can also drive a person to despise, destroy, hate, and many other horrible things. I must admit to you now though, that love only brings horrible things when it is not returned, and the person of whom it is not returned to, is not strong enough to cope with rejection.
I wasn't strong enough.
Let me tell you the whole story.
I had been in love with Lilly Evens ever since she had started going to Hogwarts. What can I say? She was beautiful with long flowing red hair and the deepest green eyes anyone could ever hope to gaze into. And that's not to speak of her intelligence. She was mesmerizing in the way she could talk, because she knew everything, about everything, and was always at the top of the class. She was everything a guy could ask for and more."
Ron paused for a second, totally encompassed in disbelief. He looked at Hermione who was looking equally shocked and surprised. Neither had ever expected her father to have been in love with Harry's mom, and hearing it now, from a letter written by Hermione's dad extremely overwhelming. As the words sank into Ron, he began to realize that his own emotions and feelings for Hermione were strikingly similar to those felt by her father, toward Harry's mother.
*And bloody hell, * Ron thought, *Harry's mum even sounds like Hermione. * Shaking his head at the thought, Ron hastily began reading again.
"Yes Hermione, I know what you're thinking. How could I claim to have been in love with Lilly Evens and then marry your mother, claiming the same thing for her? Truth be told, I love, loved, both of them. I didn't know your mother back then though.
Lilly was my first love. I watched her from afar, longing to tell her so, and to have her love me in return. I eventually got the courage to tell her. And I did. At her graduation from Hogwarts. Yes, yes, I know I was no longer at school, but you can return once you leave. Little did I know, she had started dating Potter at the beginning of the year after I left. She was dating him at the graduation as well, but I managed to wiggle her away, for a time at any rate.
I went up to her, and Potter, and asked if I could have a private word with her. Potter was reluctant at first to let her leave his presence, but she told him how she knew me and that she'd be right back. But before she left, she kissed Potter, and I knew what they had become, though I had to know what she felt for me, so I dragged her away from his clutches to the entrance hall.
Once we were alone, I spilled everything. And all she did was stare at me. At the time, all I could think was that she was laughing at me. Laughing at how foolish I was to have ever fallen in love with her. Laughing at how I could have ever thought she would return the feelings to a guy like me.
Rage shot through me. Nobody laughed at me.
But, before I go on, Hermione dear, let it be known that I regret what I did next, and will regret it forever, and that I am truly, truly sorry.
I slapped her, hard enough to knock her off her feet."
Ron paused again, looking away from the paper toward Hermione who had just let out a gasp.
"How could he?" Hermione asked, horror reflecting in her eyes. "How could he?"
Ron didn't know how to answer. He could only imagine how hard this was for Hermione. Seeking escape from her penetrating, answer-seeking gaze, Ron became once more immersed in the letter.
"-knock her off her feet. All I can remember is the feeling regret for what I had done. I went to pick her up, to tell her I was sorry, that I would never do that again, but when I reached for her, she shrank away from me. I told her I was sorry, and again went to help her up, but she slapped my hand away. Rage sparked again. I was trying to be plessent to her now, I was trying to make up for what I had done, and all she could do was look upon me with hate and fear. I went toward her again, this time, not intent on helping her. No. I wanted to hurt her. To get her back for all the pain she had caused me.
But before I could reach her, the doors we had exited through just a little earlier, were thrown open by none other than that Potter she loved so much. He looked at Lilly, concern etched in his face, and then he looked at me. He was angry, no, beyond angry. Potter told me to leave, he told me to leave Lilly alone, he told me to never even look at her, because if I did, he would hunt me down, and. Well I don't really know what else, because Lilly had gotten up by then an placed a hand on his shoulder, but one can assume what Potter would have done. And I knew he was more than capable of hurting me, of killing me, he had always been stronger than me, even with the age difference.
A little before a month's time had passed, I met your mother Hermione, about a month after that, we became wed, and a few weeks after that, we were expecting a baby, you, Hermione.
But I still remembered my love for Lilly, and the revenge I knew I would have on Potter. The revenge I knew I had to have on Potter. That's when I became a Death Eater. Yes my dear, even with all of the wonderful things happening in my life at the time, I couldn't let my love for Lilly, and my hatred for Potter go.
I became distant with your mother. She never knew where I was at, and I know she had to have been worried. That didn't matter to me. Nothing mattered to me. I became consumed with my hate for Potter, the revenge I wanted to seek on him, and the power the Dark Lord promised his followers and me.
Over time, the Dark Lord began to trust me more and more. He confided in me, telling me his plans, ambitions, and dreams. He told me how he wanted, and needed to find the Potters. He told me that he needed help, my help. I was eager to please, and eager to avenge the wrongs that had been done against me.
I began to plot."
*~*
What a fine place to stop. Just kidding. I'll probably update with short succession to this chapter. But I want to see what you think so far, and if there's less fluff, and more fact to this chapter.
R&R Please (