ishandahalf- Wow... "the hot, fiery passion of a BILLION burning suns" I"m guessing that's a lot. You're right, she might not be too happy.

UndyingImmortal- Hey, sanity is highly overrated, don't worry.

Callian- I think that's why they created her. So everyone would have someone they could hate together. Just like Kelly and Graydon Creed. Hopefully by reading this you'll get all inspired and update too (hint, hint)

JamaykanQueen89- I'm not getting tired of it by any means. It makes me happy, and a happy writer is a fast writer... sometimes at least.

Valley-Gurl101- Of course he does, but he is a guy, we can give him a small break because of that.

It Doesn't Matter

But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
-Vertical Horizon
Kitty sat on her bed glaring at her math homework. Usually math distracted her from her problems. Now she couldn't even concentrate on one of the simplest equations. "Hi, sugah," Rogue said walking into the room. Kitty hadn't told anyone about what had happened which is part of the reason, Rogue and Jubilee figured, that she was so depressed about it. She seemed to be with drawing.

"Hi," Kitty said shutting her math book, giving it one last glare for good measure. She saw Jubilee behind Rogue and frowned slightly feeling that she was being ambushed. "What's wrong?"

Jubilee was the one who answered. "We're trying to be good friend and respect your privacy and give you space and everything, but now we're asking. What happened?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Kitty said.

"We're not leavin' until you tell us," Rogue said sitting beside her. Jubilee sat on the foot of the bed facing the two.

"Guys..." Kitty said shaking her head. "It was just a stupid fight that kind of... blew up."

"Sugah," Rogue said gently laying her hand on Kitty's. "We just want ta help. Please talk to us."

"The night we were all talking about..." Kitty blushed, "um, sex I started thinking."

"About what?" Rogue inquired when it became apparent that Kitty wasn't going to continue on her own.

"The night before the attack. John and I spent some time in his room just hanging out and kissing but then he wanted to go outside for a walk. We ended up on a hill together."

Flashback

John and Kitty were lying together watching the stars come out. He turned and stared at her for a few moments. "What?" Kitty asked, finally noticing.

"Nothin'," John said. He wrapped an arm around her. She smiled cuddling closer. "Kiss me?"

"I was hoping you'd ask," she said and moved so her hand was braced on his chest. Their lips met. His hand on her back slowly drew her closer. His other hand gently cupped one firm breast. She tensed but didn't move away. Emboldened, he ran his thumb over her nipple causing a soft gasp. He continued this for a few moments before switching sides. His other hand gently coaxed hers closer to his straining erection. She pulled away completely.

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"Nothing. I'm just... I'm not... um, ready."

John sighed. "Okay."

"I'm sorry."

He gently kissed her. "It's okay, luv, really." He stood pulling her to her feet. "Now, let me walk you back to your room. I need a shower." His mutter of "a freezin' shower," wasn't lost on her.

Present day

"It was really soon after that that he left," Kitty said. Both realized that Kitty had at least subconsciously blamed herself.

"And then your parents got divorced," Rogue said gently putting it two and two together.

Kitty's eyes brimmed with tears and she turned away from them. "Everyone keeps leaving me."

Rogue enveloped her friend into a hug as the tears overflowed. "Don't cry, Kitty."

"If you cry by the sacred bonds of friendship we'll be forced to kick his ass," Jubilee said.

Rogue nodded somberly. "It's in the rules, you know. And we're not goin' anywhere."

"Yeah, Kit," Jubilee said wrapping her arms around both of them, "not even a court order will keep us away."

Kitty smiled at them and tried to compose herself. "Thanks, guys. I... I'd like to be alone."

Rogue squeezed her friend encouragingly. "Okay, sug, if ya need us we'll be downstairs."

"Thanks," Kitty smiled. They left. She turned on her CD player and put in the soundtrack to Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

"It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
You've been on a road
Don't know where it goes or where it leads"

She knocked her math book onto the floor and curled up crying a little. "He's the best guy that I've ever met," she whispered looking down. "How could I have let him go?"

"It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
If you've made up your mind to go
I won't beg you to stay
You've been in a cage
Throw you to the wind you fly away"

She began to sob softly burying her head in her pillow. "Pete," she whispered. "I'm so sorry." She closed her eyes. She wanted him back so badly but couldn't bring herself to find him. After what she had done to him he would never take her back. She didn't deserve him.

"It doesn't matter what I want
It doesn't matter what I need
It doesn't matter if I cry
Don't matter if I bleed
Feel the sting of tears
Falling on this face you've loved for years"