Em: Yay! Random Vin drabble! Cos I was bored… and cos I love Vin. ;3

-

The paranoia.

It's rising, I can feel it.

It starts with the heat. Oh… the heat. It starts from the top and works it's way down until you're entirely engulfed by it.

Yep.

The heat's definitely there.

Okay, check.

Then there's that weird tingling sensation in your fingers. Like you want to strangle something. That alone makes me even sicker then normal.

Unfortunately, that stage has come to pass as well. Oh boy. Check two.

And… ahh, my favourite, the drowning feeling. Like no matter how big a breath you take, it's never enough. So you just keep gulping air until you're practically hyperventilating.

Which is what I'm doing right now.

… Check three.

Oh, great. Now I'm getting antsy. Normally when I get like this I just run around the room being productive to stop myself from going insane. But I can't. My leg's bouncing so hard it feels ready to come off.

Which is not a nice feeling, let me tell you.

Boy, do I hate it when this happens. But it's not my fault! I wasn't always like this, you know. You wouldn't recognize my younger self, no you would not. Complete 180 degree difference then how I am now.

I didn't have this damn paranoia, that's for sure.

I wasn't scared of anything or anyone. Ok, well, maybe a few things, but nothing that mattered. And certainly not frightened to the extent that I get now.

But not anymore. I've got more phobias then… well… something with a lot of phobias.

See? I can hardly think when I get like this. I can't talk right either. I've developed a horrid stutter. Not so bad that you can't understand me, just enough to be a nuisance. And it's not always there either… it starts just after I've started to get antsy…

Like now.

And just when I think it can't get any worse, that nervous, sick feeling pops up. And now it's complete. My damn paranoia's come back and it won't go away until I wake up tomorrow. It never does.

And tomorrow at some point it'll start all over again, because it always does.

Some people have asked me before, how do I know I'm paranoid… I summed it up pretty nicely, I think.

"Paranoia is waking up screaming and realizing you haven't gone to sleep yet." (1)

(1) Me no own. 'Twas on a short, mmmyep :3