Title: Round Robin Chapter 7
Author: Pysche
Pairing: Bakura/Malik, Seto/Yami, and an extra surprise pairing
Rating: PG-13
Warnings: Lime, semi-consensual sex
Summary: Bakura and Malik have sex, and Yugi and Jou go on a play-date.

A/N: There was a lemon in this chapter, but since the rating is PG-13 it was taken out and only posted at the group. So if things don't seem to 'flow' right at certain parts that's why.

Silence. Complete and utter silence, broken only by ragged breathing and the uneven thump of two racing hearts, filled the home of Isis and Malik Ishtahl as Malik lay on the living room floor, naked and dripping and with an obviously turned-on psychotic tomb robber sprawled on top of him.

Malik gulped.

"Well? Which is it? Me or the porno? It's not every day you get an opportunity like this one," Bakura drawled, taking the opportunity to lick the other's neck. "I assure you, you'll enjoy it."

"Bakur-aaah! Stop it! Get off of me!" the blonde protested, squirming and trying not to enjoy the lips on his neck.

"Don't tell me you don't want this," the other growled against Malik's throat. "You've been all over me since the day this project began, my darling wife."

Malik shuddered, squeezing his eyes tightly shut as he whispered, "I do… I do want you… but not like this. I'm not some slut that you can rape in the middle of the living room floor!"

The tomb robber's hand slid lower, cupping Malik's half-hard arousal and stroking it a few times until the blonde arched and moaned under him. "Oh really? Your body seems to disagree," Bakura murmured dangerously, his face still buried in the other's neck. He trailed wet kisses up the line of Malik's jaw, sucking confidently on the tiny indentation in the skin just between his jaw and ear as if he knew it would be one of Malik's sweet spots.

It was.

The blonde Egyptian screamed, thrashing wildly and breaking Bakura's one-handed grip on his arms, but instead of shoving the other off him he merely tangled his fingers in Bakura's thick white hair as the tomb robber continued to suck on that spot and lazily stroke Malik's arousal.

"Ba… Ba…ku…kura… stop, please," he whimpered, even as he clenched his eyes shut even tighter in ecstasy and arched his back in a perfect bow off the floor. "Not like this, not… like…"

Bakura abruptly tore his mouth away from the other's neck and stopped groping Malik long enough to lift himself up a bit and glare at the blonde, meeting Malik's gaze as violet eyes slid open in slight surprise. "Why not? It's what you wanted, isn't it?"

Malik flushed, turning his head to avoid the other's gaze. "It wouldn't mean anything. And… it'll hurt."

Bakura smirked. "I'm sure you've got some lubrication stashed somewhere around here."

"That's not what I meant!" Malik snapped. "Just get off me, Bakura!"

Unsurprisingly, the tomb robber disobeyed, and instead of moving off of the blonde cupped Malik's cheek in one hand, turning his face back toward the other, and lowered his lips to meet Malik's in a slow, languid kiss. When they finally broke apart, Malik's face flushed and angry and Bakura's strangely expressionless, the tomb robber murmured something that made Malik's heart do a sudden, painful flop deep in his chest.

"Who says it wouldn't mean anything? You are my wife, after all."

"Hello? Bakura? Malik? Er… I mean Mommy? Daddy? Is anyone home?" Yugi glanced around the empty house, pocketing his keys and hugging his teddy close to him. He sighed. "Where did those two go? Did they leave me home alone? I sure hope K doesn't show up…"

The violet-eyed boy wandered through the house for a few minutes, idly checking the rooms to make sure he was alone before sinking onto the couch with a sigh. "Well. I wonder what happened to them? Hopefully they didn't kill each other; Malik seemed pretty mad…" He held up the teddy bear and looked it straight in its glossy plastic eyes.

"What do I do now?"

It didn't answer, of course.

Yugi grinned. "That's a good idea. Maybe Ryou will know where his Yami is!" The spiky-haired boy grabbed the cordless phone off the couch – then paused and glanced at his bear again, raising an eyebrow. He shook his head. "I've been pretending to be a kid toooo long."

Honda answered after the fifth ring, just as Yugi was about to hang up. "Hello?" he snapped.

"Er… hey Honda. Can I talk to Ryou?"

"Oh, hello Yugi. I'm sorry; he's in time-out right now. He's not allowed to use the phone."

"Time-out? What for?"

"He put bugs in his mom's shampoo… Will you stop crying Anzu! It's not that bad, just go wash it out!"

Yugi fought down a snicker and pleaded with Honda. "Can I just speak to him for a second, please? It's important. Or will you at least ask him if he knows where Bakura is?"

There was silence over the line for a moment, and Yugi could almost see the softening expression on Honda's face. "Ah… Did your dad disappear on you, kid? Hang on and I'll ask him." Yugi heard a slight thud as the other laid the phone down, and Honda's strained voice cried in the background, "For god's sake, Anzu, use my shampoo! No, I don't mind! Just stop crying!"

A minute later he returned to the phone. "Sorry, Yug', Ryou says he hasn't seen him. Are you there by yourself? I can come pick you up; you're too young to be home alone…"

A disturbing clatter sounded in the background, and Yugi hastily muttered, "No that's okay! I'm fine," before hanging up and dropping the phone on the couch.

Honda took this parent thing way too seriously.

Malik groaned deep in his throat as Bakura assaulted his neck with another barrage of wet kisses. "Asking me… to perform… my wifely duties, are you?" he gasped, tangling his fingers in the thick white hair just under his chin. Ra, but Bakura's mouth felt so good. He knew, he knew that he would regret this later, when the tomb robber's lust was sated and he was back to being his psychotic, selfish… self; but it was all he could do not to get lost in the moment, to pretend like he and Bakura really were married and it wasn't all some demented game.

Besides, if anybody was as screwed up as Bakura it was Malik himself. Whoever said that things between them would be easy?

And Bakura was HOT.

So, Malik arched under the white-haired thief, purposefully this time, and ground their hips together until he felt Bakura stiffen on top of him and growl in obvious arousal. The blonde Egyptian took advantage of the other's momentary stillness and slid his hands under Bakura's shirt, running skilled fingers over the pale, smooth chest above him and smiling when the other let out a low moan.

"Mmm… Glad to see you've finally decided to see things my way."

The tomb keeper and the tomb robber's lips met once again, hungrily, fierce lust oozing from every pore of their bodies as wandering tongues echoed the action of wandering hands. Malik could barely see; everything disappeared in a yellow haze except for Bakura's wild touch and the rough carpet under his back.

He screamed.

"Somehow I knew you'd be a screamer," the white-haired teen observed, smirking, and ran his tongue once more atop that spot in the juncture of Malik's jaw and ear, making the blonde shiver. "And I haven't even done anything yet."

Malik laughed brokenly, giving a pointed look to Bakura's hands, which had slipped far below the blonde's naked waist.

Bakura followed the other's gaze and snidely echoed the other's laugh. "We've barely even started, my dear little wife," he drawled.

And he dearly wished he hadn't fallen in love with Bakura.

Jou peeked around the corner. The house was still; Seto and Yami had disappeared into one of the mansion's many rooms to continue from where Jou had interrupted them, and Mokuba was nowhere to be found. The brown-eyed blonde grinned to himself. Time to cause more chaos.

He snuck down the stairs, careful not to make a sound, and crept out the front door, breaking into a run as soon as he got out on the grounds. Ah, but this project was more fun than he could ever have imagined! He got to act like he was five, throwing food, screaming, pretending to "innocently" interrupt Kaiba from his makeout sessions, and no one said a word. Especially Kaiba. That was the best part; he could drive the arrogant CEO absolutely insane and the other couldn't do a thing about it, other than put him to bed at seven-thirty or pretend to ground him.

Besides, even that didn't work, as Jou was about to prove to the world – and Kaiba. Today Jounouchi was embarking on the newest stage of his goal in being the most annoying child ever born to sexaholic same-gender parents.

He was sneaking out.

But where could he go? "Five-year-olds" weren't exactly old enough to go to arcades by themselves, or go out drinking – though technically, neither was he, but he didn't let that stop him – and if that crazy substitute was out patrolling today Jou knew he'd catch him in the act. And he really couldn't afford to fail.

Jou slowed to a walk, thinking as he strolled along the sidewalk. What did five-year-olds do for fun, besides watch Barney and annoy their parents? They played, right? With their friends…

"AH-HA!" the blonde shouted, throwing an arm in the air in triumph. "I'll go on a play-date with Yugi!"

A woman walking down the sidewalk with a little girl holding her hand gave Jou a funny look before hurrying past. "Mommy, is that man a psycho?" the girl asked.

"Yes dear, now keep walking," the woman replied, practically dragging her daughter behind her in her rush to escape Jou.

"Heh. Whoops," the blonde muttered. "Guess I said that too loud." He shrugged before grinning once again and breaking into a run toward Ryou's house, eager for his play-date with his best friend.

When Jounouchi knocked on the door, Yugi was lying on the couch, idly throwing the television remote in the air and catching it, grinning when it would bump against the ceiling and change the channel. The violet-eyed teen tossed the piece of metal one last time, letting it crash into the ceiling and bounce a few times on the carpet, then rolled off the couch and went to answer the door.

"HELLO YUGI!" Jou screamed as soon as his friend opened the door. "WE'RE ON A PLAY-DATE!"

Yugi winced, covering his ears. "Hey Jou… How did you know Bakura and Malik were gone?"

"Didn't," the other answered cheerfully, brushing past the smaller teen and clomping into the house. He kicked off his battered tennis shoes and sent them flying across the room, where they bounced off the far wall and left a dent before sliding to the floor. "I'm running away from Kaiba."

"Oh, I see. Well I don't know if it's a good idea for you to be here; I'm all alone. I don't know where my 'parents' got off to."

The brown-eyed male grinned widely. "Even better."

Yugi closed the door behind him, eyeing the other suspiciously. "What do you mean, Jou? I'm not sure I like that look on your face."

Jou's eyes narrowed into slits and his grin turned devious as he gazed at his friend. "Well, we're supposed to be five-year-olds, right? And parents should know better than to leave their five-year-old kids home alone, because they cause chaos."

Yugi's eyes widened. "C-chaos?" he squeaked.

"Yup. Now come on, let's go jump on the bed!" Jounouchi grabbed Yugi's arm and dragged the reluctant teen behind him until they reached Bakura's room. Then the brown-eyed teen let go of the other and leapt onto the unmade bed, sending pillows and blankets flying as he jumped recklessly up and down, his limbs flailing wildly as he bounced on the mattress.

Yugi watched for a moment, hesitating, before he shrugged and climbed up beside his friend, and the two bounced together on the squeaky mattress for a few minutes, laughing cheerily.

But then…

A loud crack split the air as the boards supporting the mattress broke in two, and Jou and Yugi tumbled into the center of the bed, which now sagged all the way to the floor, Jou sniggering loudly and Yugi panicking as their limbs tangled together in the center of the sagging mattress. The smaller teen paused in his struggling to stare down in amazement at his friend. "Why are you laughing! I'll be in so much trouble when Bakura gets home!"

Jou winked and rolled over, sending them onto the floor where they quickly separated and stood. "Who cares what those two say? You've gotta admit this was fun."

Yugi grinned a bit. "Yeah. Yeah it was. So…" he scuffed his feet on the carpet, "What do we do now?"

The other thought for a moment before running to the desk in the corner and drawing out a handful of pens and markers. "Let's draw on the walls!"

Laughing, Yugi ran over and grabbed a few of the markers from his friend, and the two of them set off running down the hall, scribbling random lines and drawing curse words and dirty pictures all over the white paint of the walls, until they finally reached the living room and collapsed together, exhausted, on the couch.

Jou snickered. "I can't wait to see Bakura's face when he sees this place."

Hot and sweaty after running all over the house, Yugi lazily fanned himself with one hand as he nodded. "Yeah, Malik won't be too happy either, but he'll forgive me if I just flirt with him a bit. Then Bakura will be too distracted by being jealous to remember to punish me."

Jou stretched and sprawled out across the couch, dangling his legs over the arm of the sofa and propping his head in Yugi's lap. The smaller teen rolled his eyes indulgently and stroked his friend's hair a bit, resting his own head against the back of the sofa and closing his eyes. Jou watched him carefully.

"Those two really do like each other, don't they?" Jou asked softly.

"Yeah, I really think they do. They give each other a lot of grief, but they're really perfect for each other. They…understand each other, I guess."

"That's hard to find. Someone who understands you, I mean," the brown-eyed blonde commented, still watching Yugi.

Yugi nodded. "Mmm." Then he opened his eyes, grinning down at Jou. "What do you want to do now? We can take all the food out of the fridge and stick it to the ceiling."

The other shook his head, sitting up. "Nah. We've played long enough. Let's get to the 'date' part."

"Huh? Jou, what are you talking ab—"

Jounouchi leaned over and kissed his friend directly on the lips.

By the time Bakura arrived back home, a silent and exhausted Malik in tow behind him, it was well past sunset and the streetlamps had been on for several hours. As he turned the key in the door, he glanced back at the tanned Egyptian behind him, whose exotic violet eyes were trained firmly on the ground.

Malik hadn't spoken a word to him since it happened, except for a perfunctory command for the thief to take a shower and then to tell him it was time to go home. What was wrong? Did he regret sleeping with Bakura? Or maybe the other was upset because, as he said before, he thought it wouldn't mean anything to Bakura, that being with Malik was as forgettable as the white-haired teen's various romps in the backseat of his car with a slew of nameless people, male and female. (Now that Bakura thought about it, it was a good thing he was an ancient Egyptian spirit with magical powers. Otherwise he'd be running quite the risk for some kind of nasty disease.)

But sleeping with Malik could never be the same as those faceless, meaningless partners. The alluring Egyptian meant something to Bakura, though he wasn't sure what it was yet. He was… important, somehow. But judging from the look on his face the other didn't know that; so, to keep his 'wife' from sulking the rest of the evening – and to keep himself in the other's good graces so he'd have another opportunity to get in his pants – Bakura turned to Malik before opening the door.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

Startled, Malik lifted his eyes from the steps to meet Bakura's steady gaze. "Y-yeah," he replied.

"Sure?" The tomb robber lifted a hand and brushed the other's dusky blonde locks from his face.

Malik smiled a bit, leaning into the touch, before he eventually nodded. "Yeah, I'm sure."

"Good," Bakura smirked, and opened the door – only to freeze in the middle of the doorway. "What the— YOU DUMB DOG! GET OFF MY SON!"

"Kura? What's going on?" Malik hurried inside and peered over Bakura's shoulder, gasping in amazement when he saw what the other was screaming about. There, on the couch, lay Jounouchi and Yugi, both missing their shirts and Yugi with his pants unbuttoned. The taller teen was sprawled on top of Yugi, gaping fearfully at Bakura, whose face was growing steadily redder and redder by the second.

"Uh… Uh… Sorry Yug', I gotta go," he mumbled, and rolled off the couch with a thud.

"YOU'D BETTER GO!" Bakura shouted at the top of his lungs, stalking into the living room as Jounouchi hurriedly tugged on his shirt. "GET OUT! And don't EVER come anywhere near Yugi again or I'll cut your balls off with a rusty knife!"

Jou visibly paled and climbed awkwardly to his feet, but before he could run out the door Bakura grabbed him by the collar, glaring furiously into Jou's wide brown eyes and ignoring the high-pitched pleas of "No, Daddy! I love him!" coming from the direction of the couch.

"Malik bring me the phone," Bakura snarled. "I've got a better idea. I'm going to call Kaiba and tell him exactly what his 'son' has been up to."

Jounouchi promptly fainted.