Harry knew that the longer he waited, the worse it would be, but truthfully, he didn't know the answer. In fact, he'd actually blocked out that particular incident quite successfully over the last few weeks. His eyes remained locked with hers until she looked away and released him. He sensed her shift in mood even before her shaky voice gave her away.
"Do you have any idea what it's like? Do you?" she asked quietly, turning away from him. "The first time wasn't so bad. Just a schoolgirl crush, right? That's what everyone told me. From that first moment I saw you standing there on the platform, before I had ever even heard of The-Boy-Who-Lived, I knew, or thought I knew. I just knew, Harry. And then, you saved my life and worse, even though you'd just come through all that horror in the Chamber, your first thought was to protect me, to spare me any embarrassment. You were my knight in shining armor, Harry." She chuckled at the cliché.
"Do you know how hard it was to accept that you'd never see me as anything other than a pesky little sister? To look past my dreams and learn to pretend that I'd gotten over you. To take all those feelings and bottle them up deep inside? But I did it, Harry. I didn't do it for you, though. I did it for me." She glanced back at him fiercely and then turned away again. "I couldn't go on like that, worshiping the ground you walked on."
Harry simply stared at her back, her words spinning in his head. He tried to imagine what it had been like for her. He'd known, of course, about her crush on him, but he'd never known how deeply she felt. Memories rushed through his consciousness: memories of times in the Burrow when he and Ron had rushed past her without a word, off to do whatever; memories of times at Hogwarts when he, Ron, and Hermione had secluded themselves in a corner of the common room, not paying any mind to Ginny across the way.
Ginny slowly came back and sat down across from him, smiling the same wry smile she had worn on the doorstep. The sight of that expression on her face tore at his heart. Ginny should never seem cold and withdrawn. It went against everything that made her, her. Yet, when he looked into her eyes, he saw none of her usual fire or passion, just a damp, cold sadness. Her shoulders shuddered in a silent, mirthless chuckle and she continued.
"So, I did what Hermione suggested. She was right, as always. I got on with my life. I made new friends, got my grades up. Heck, I even went out for the Quidditch team." She grinned proudly for a moment. "And the strangest thing happened. I started to feel good about myself. I stopped believing the things that Tom had said to me. I realized that I was smart, funny, maybe even a bit pretty. Sometimes. Even the nightmares..." Her eyes clouded over and she stared off into space. "They didn't come as often."
Shaking her head lightly, she went on. "And guess what happened? I finally figured out that you were a person, not just an idealized fantasy, but a real, honest, person. A handsome, witty, caring, wonderful person." Harry could feel himself blushing. She must have noticed, because she laughed lightly and a bit of her spark came back into her eyes.
"The second time was harder than the first. Now, I had all sorts of reasons to fall head-over-heels. I tried dating other guys, but deep down, I always knew my heart wasn't in it. I had it as bad as I ever had, but this time we actually spent time together, got to know each other. Then, we kissed, and it was like my whole life had finally come together. I felt complete and completely happy. And then Dumbledore died, and you dumped me."
"Ginny, I..."
She didn't give him a chance to finish his thought. Holding up a hand, she snapped, "Damn it, Harry Potter. I've spent a month working on this speech, you can just sit there and hear it!" She slammed her hand down on the armrest of the couch and a surge of warmth spread across his whole body. He suddenly felt the full force of exactly how much he had been missing her. Fighting back tears, he nodded and shut his mouth apologetically.
"We can talk about why you did that later, if there's any point," she said quickly. "What you need to know is what it did to me. I turned it over and over in my mind. At least you had the decency to stay out of my way at the Burrow. I hated you for that, but it was probably for the best." She paused, alarmed to see him wince in almost physical pain. Immediately, she understood. "Oh Harry, never 'hated' really. I could never hate you. I just..." Clearly flustered and off-script, she stopped talking and took some deep breaths. Harry sat in shocked silence, somewhat mollified. He realized that none of his experiences, none of the battles with Voldemort, nothing in his life had ever scared him more than the notion that Ginny could hate him.
"Eventually, I guess my mind took the easy way out. You'd gotten swept up in all the lovey-dovey going on in the spring, You liked me well-enough, so we got together. Lots of fun, some good snogging, but when real life intruded, it was back to business, right?" Seeing the denials rippling behind his lips, she raised both hands and swiftly added, "I'm not saying that is what you thought, I 'm saying it's what I came up with to explain, to let me get on with my life, Harry. I was hurt, I was lonely, and I needed it to stop. I didn't want to ruin my brother's wedding, after all. So, I went kind of numb."
"Twice, I've convinced myself I was over you, Harry Potter. The first seemed hard at the time but then the second took everything I had. And then, you dropped the final straw on my back." Her words came thickly as tears flowed freely down her face. Still, she made no move to wipe her eyes or look away from him. Sitting up proudly, raw emotion washing over her features, she finished saying her peace. "You took my hand, you drew me to you, you told me you loved me, and then you ran out of my life. And the thing is Harry, I believed you. I still believe you. I want to believe you. I..." At last, her voice betrayed her and she fell silent, sniffling gently.
The full weight of her words settled down on his heart. He felt surrounded, drowned in her feelings, but also completely exposed. In the face of such blatant honesty, he could do nothing but respond in kind.