Authors note: It's been a while since I watched ROTS, so the details I can't remember I kinda made up…soz!

"You're a good person Ani, don't do this!" Padme was saying.

Anakin was paying her no attention. He saw her lips move, and heard a drone in the background as she begged him to do this, do that, come back to the light, that he was a good person. He stared into the fiery pits, watching bubbles of lava slowly expand, then burst. He uttered no words.

"…Anakin, you're breaking my heart!" Padme sobbed, gasping for breath as tears streamed down her face, clogging her throat and choking her.

Anakin still paid her no attention. He continued staring at the lava bubbles bursting, and reforming, bursting and reforming. The fire reflected in his eyes almost seemed to be popping out of them, the flames dancing wildly against a clash of blue.

Padme's voice was getting more and more frantic, its pitch rising up and down like the lava flying out beside them. Barely any of her words were audible now, huge gasps and wailing sobs doing the talking. But Anakin just stood there, not moving a single muscle, not saying a single word. Padme grew more nervous. She wasn't even sure if he was taking in a word he was saying, but she decided to give it one more try.

"Anakin," she said, her voice trembling. "For the baby. Please, Ani I beg you. If not for ourselves or Obi-Wan, then at least for our child."

Anakin's head raised up ever so slightly. It was almost impossible to notice but Padme always noticed everything. Although he didn't move so much as an eyebrow, she knew he'd heard; that she'd struck the right spot. She fidgeted nervously with the wooden necklace around her neck. Anakin had given it to her when she had been merely 14, back on Tatooine. She wondered if he still remembered. She could never forget.

Anakin's mind was a whirl of fog and mist. He heard his own voice, a few years previously. I can't breathe. He heard himself say. I'm haunted by the kiss you should never have given me. My heart is beating, hoping that kiss will not become a scar. The words echoed around in his brain, a gentle lullaby. Now he heard Padme say the words that had stabbed his heart a million times that night, over and over again. We'd be living a lie. I couldn't do that. Could you, Anakin, could you do that? His instinctive answer had been yes, of course. For her he would do anything. He glanced a look sideways, and saw Padme fiddling with the wooden necklace he had given her upon their first encounter back on Tatooine when he had been merely 9 years old. He wondered if she remembered. He could never forget.

Anakin raised his head and tried to speak. He saw Padme's eyes sparkle hopefully, a glimmer of hope concealed inside. He saw her soft lips tremble, her fingers fiddling more and more as he caught her glance. She was waiting for her to speak, but Anakin couldn't find the words. He tried. He wanted to rush over to her, tell her everything would be alright, gently stroke her hair, hold her close, feel the warmth of her body, like back on Naboo. All their worries seemed so far away then. She remembered her beautiful smile, her joyful laugh. He hadn't heard them in a long time. Perhaps he could change that all now. All he'd have to do is go back to her. There was no need to admit to what he had done, and why. It would take just one sentence for everything to return to normal.

A jedi shall not know anger, or hatred, or love. The words of Master Windu echoed in his mind. He would be expelled from the Jedi order. But it wouldn't matter. Chosen One or not, it was the woman in front of him that mattered the most. Forget the Council, forget the jedi, forget Obi-Wan.

But then the words of Sidious rang out like a doomed church bell. I have the power to save the one you love. Only through me can you save her. If he were to return now, Padme would die. And the baby would be due any day now. He could imagine it. Padme's hand, clutching his tightly. Her shrieks of pain, cries for Anakin to hold her. Sweat dripping down her forehead, and then…

He swallowed. He opened his mouth to try and say it, just to let everything out, and run to her and hug her, hug her so tight like he'd never let go, afraid to lose her again.

He couldn't. If he went back now, he would lose her. Then he would be stuck in nothingness, expelled from the council and glory, no longer wanted by the dark side. He would walk this galaxy alone, estranged from everyone, glancing down at his robot hand remembering the dark times. His own baby would hate him for letting its mother die. He couldn't. He felt tears well up in his eyes as he slowly drew into the reality that he would have to face. But if he could save her…

Padme glanced up. "Anakin?" she whispered gently. Her voice was so soothing he could barely keep it in anymore. His whole body was trembling from the effort of trying to choose his words carefully. Fresh tears streaked down his face, trailing down his cheeks and remaining as small transparent dots on his chin before slowly plopping down onto the rocky terrain, where it fizzed from contact with the heat. He bit his lip, hard, to stop himself from screaming. No, he had to save her. As she said herself, in her own words. For the baby.

"I'm sick of hearing about Obi-Wan," he finally forced himself to say, amid choking sobs. He turned his face away but could sense Padme's crestfallen expression. He could see it in his mind as clear as the real version going on behind him. He could sense her helplessness, her fear, her utter resignation. He curled his hand into a tight fist, shaking it violently. His nails were clawing into his skin, little grooves imprinted on the palm. It was a sacrifice he would have to make to keep her alive. He could not describe the feeling of knowing that, till the day she died, she and the baby would both live alone, living on the knowledge of what really happened to Anakin. The hurt he suffered from going through this was already more agonizing than any kind of pain he'd felt before, but the stab in his heart he felt when he realized nobody would know the whole truth till it was late, was indescribable.

He remembered at the Tuskan Raiders' camp how he had held his mother as she died. He had been too late to save her. This time, he was too late to save himself. He turned around, gulping slowly. He felt as if he were being slowly strangled to death by an invisible force. Slowly, but surely, the life and happiness out of him was being sucked out.

He turned to face Padme, his eyes shimmering with tears.